


Dales United

by WellyFullOfAle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Football, M/M, Robron AU, Smut and Angst, affair, but they can do the sex part, robert x aaron - Freeform, robert x chrissie, these boys cannot communicate properly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:18:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 172,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellyFullOfAle/pseuds/WellyFullOfAle
Summary: Robron AU. Aaron becomes the first Premier League footballer to come out to the press, days after Robert is appointed as the new manager for the same team. Robert is engaged to the club owner’s daughter Chrissie, but for how long can he ignore his feelings for his new top goal scorer?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I’m newly official as a Robron fan after having spent about a year as an anonymous lurker - and I’ve had this fic in mind for about 6 months but only just finally had the balls to upload a chapter. Hope you like it – please let me know what you think!

**Chapter 1**

It was the flicker and flash of cameras in the conference room which first grabbed Robert’s attention as he passed by on his way to his new office; followed closely by the incessant ramblings of the numerous journalists he noticed sat on the neatly laid out rows of chairs, all facing towards the two empty chairs elevated at the front of the room.

He stopped for a second in the brightly lit corridor, brows creased together as he searched in the back of his mind to explain the reason behind the press furore in the room to his left.

He was sure he had no meetings or press conferences scheduled for today.

Maybe he was mistaken.

A panic set over him as he jumped to the assumption that the press gathering was for his own benefit; ignoring the fact that there were many more strings to the bow of this football club besides himself.

He looked back inside the room again from where he stood at the door to the back, leaning against the door frame and tapping his fingers against it with a hint of unease as his blue eyes scoured the room, looking for a friendly face who could explain to him what he was missing.

Second day on the job and he seemed to be missing something important. Not exactly the best of first impressions – especially when the world’s media were already questioning every detail of his life following his surprise appointment as First Team Manager.

He couldn’t find the friendly face he was looking for; exhaling sharply as he skulked away from the noise of the press conference room; swiping his thumb down his phone screen repeatedly as it froze on his emails screen, hoping his inbox could shed some light on the big event he seemed to be missing in the room behind him. He expected it to refresh with a last minute email from Lawrence telling him about a player signing he needed to unveil, or something similar.

Nothing appeared.

He tried again, and a third time, with the same result.

He paced up and down the corridor away from the glare of the media, eyes darting through every open door in the hope that he would see Lawrence, or his assistant Nicola, or anyone he had been introduced to so far for that matter who may be able to tell him what he was missing; all the while trying to subside the panic that was rising inside of him that at any minute someone would call him and tell him he needed to get himself to the conference room and address a room full of 100 people about something he currently had no idea about.

He must have missed something.

Admittedly the past few days had been a blur – he hadn’t even met the players yet – but since Lawrence had decided to put his faith in him as the new team manager he’d been inundated with media interest he’d had to juggle alongside taking in all the demands of a new job.

And a job that even he felt was a little out of his league.

There had been allegations of corruption all over the press surrounding his appointment, due in most part to the discovery of Robert’s soon-to-be son-in-law status to the club CEO, Lawrence White. Many papers had assumed his relationship with the boss’s daughter – Chrissie– was the one and only reason behind his new multi-million pound contract. And even Robert couldn’t deny that at 30 years old he was incredibly young to be taking on such an important position in a club as well decorated as Dales United.

He was well aware the previous manager had lost Lawrence’s favour (and therefore his job) after failing to secure any silverware in the previous season, and he felt the weight of expectation grow heavier with every second he spent in his new role.

It was a pressure that was beginning to take its toll, and he was less than 48 hours into the role.

But he also knew that if he could get this right – if he could follow in his late father’s footsteps and become as decorated a football manager as he had been – he could finally feel he had become a man his father would be proud of.

And Lawrence’s approval wouldn’t go amiss for him either.

“Listen, bro, are you sure you wanna do this?”

The sound of voices pulled Robert out of his thoughts and stopped him in his tracks as he continued to search down the corridors for somebody to explain to him what he was missing.

He looked around, assuming for a fleeting second that the question was aimed at him, until he realised the hushed tones were coming from an ever-so-slightly-ajar door to his right.

“Well I can hardly back out now, can I?” came the reply from another man, and Robert could sense the anxiety in the second man’s tone; as well as his attempts to mask it in frustration towards his male friend.

“You can if you – ”

“Have you seen the press in that room,” came the short reply, and Robert shifted on his feet outside of the room, realisation creeping in that the press conference might not have been all about him after all. He leant forward slightly to get a better look at the two men inside the room, catching the merest of glances through the centimetre gap but instantly recognising the two men stood the other side.

Aaron Dingle and Adam Barton.

Two of his new players – players that he was yet to meet.

“They’re all here expecting some big announcement, what am I supposed to just send them all home empty handed? ” continued Aaron, who Robert quickly realised was the one seemingly stressed about the crowd awaiting him down the corridor.

“Aaron, you have not got to do anything you don’t want to,” came Adam’s reply, and Robert quickly inferred from the sincerity in his tone that the _bromance_ reported between the two of them so favourably by the press was not only for show. He clearly cared for his friend, and whatever it was he was about the share with Fleet Streets finest.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, and Robert wondered for a fleeting second whether now was the time to casually walk in and introduce himself as their new boss.

He shook his head to himself, realising how bad an idea that would have been given the nature of the conversation between them.

“Adam, if I don’t do this, who else is gonna have the balls to do it?”

Aaron’s reply had Robert frowning from behind the door, wondering what he could be about to say to the press that would require such bravery. His stomach turned over, instantly believing it must be about himself; about the players being unhappy about his appointment as manager. It had been a niggling doubt he’d been unable to clear from his mind since his appointment, and he was quick to jump to the assumption that the players would instantly rally against him. He knew Aaron Dingle had a reputation in the press – that he was outspoken at times and unflinchingly honest – and Robert felt his teeth begin to grind together and his breathing quicken as he assumed the worst.

The players must have been unhappy with his appointment. Some of the first team were older than him – that couldn’t sit well with a footballer’s ego – and there must have been words against him amongst the players. What if he hadn’t been made aware of this press conference because it was just an opportunity for Aaron to lead the war against him?

He stormed off down the corridor, allowing his deeply seated fear of rejection to assume the worst and feeling his blood pressure rise with the onslaught he was sure he was about to face.

He needed to see what Aaron was going to do to him first hand – needed to hear every bad word the young lad undoubtedly had to say against him – but was fully aware that by taking a seat within the conference room his reaction would be there for the whole world to witness. He needed to find a prime spot to see the conference without being spotted.

He headed back down the corridor, passing the press conference room and the hubble bubble of noise coming from within – the nattering on mobile phones; the tip tapping of fingers typing away on laptops; the Sky Sports News reporter speaking into his microphone in a live link back to the studio, explaining that they had no hints so far on what the surprise announcement was going to be.

Robert felt his lip curling as resentment coiled in the pit of his stomach.

He made his way past the main door to the press conference room and headed into the next door along – marked Staff Only – and in which he knew there was a side door through which he could watch what was going on without being spotted. His vantage point from there was closer to the stage, and he was able to read the name placards next to the two chairs at the front of the room. One read Aaron Dingle – unsurprisingly – but the one in the chair slightly left of centre got Robert even more worked up.

Lawrence White – Dales United CEO.

Why would Lawrence be backing one of the players’ making a statement against supporting the new manager? A new manager that Lawrence had so publicly backed less than 48 hours ago – and whom he was allowing to marrying his only daughter?

Robert’s frown returned as he struggled to make sense of the situation.

Before he had the chance to really process his growing anger – and the facts before him which appeared to refute his assumptions – his attention was drawn to the Club Press Secretary thanking everyone for their attendance and introducing Aaron and Lawrence to the stage. He couldn’t help but feel the unease radiating from Aaron as he entered the room, a hush descending as the journalists waited with anticipation of what they were about to be told.

Robert watched on as Lawrence gave the lad a reassuring smile, and they both sat down in their respective chairs, Aaron letting out a deep sigh in exasperation as he sat down.

There was a pause as the room settled and Aaron made sure his microphone was working.

“OK,” Aaron started, but he was hesitant.

A wary silence filled the room, punctuated only by the rhythmic clicking of the shutter button on various paparazzi cameras around the room.

Robert watched his new nemesis with intent, but his surety began to waver as he watched the man sat up on the podium, facing the world.

He didn’t look defiant, or vengeful, or out for anyone’s blood.

He didn’t look like someone who was leading his teammates into battle against their new leader with the support of the club’s owner.

He didn’t look like someone who was capable of such underhand malice.

He looked… _scared._

Shit-scared, in actual fact.

Robert watched on as Lawrence placed a reassuring hand on Aaron’s shoulder, the younger man glancing back with a thankful smile. Aaron’s eyes searched the room, settling on something at the back of the room which made him release the smallest of one-sided smiles alongside a nod as a much needed recognition of support.

Robert followed Aaron’s gaze to see Adam Barton stood at the back of the room, behind all of the press. There was something in the look between the two friends – something Robert couldn’t understand, perhaps because he’d never experienced it himself – but it made Robert feel an inexplicable stab of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.

“I erm,” Aaron started warily, clearing his throat in a clear bid to strengthen his resolve and drawing Robert’s attention back to the front of the room. “You probably…probably all wanna know why you’re here.”

Robert watched on; reluctantly engrossed. Something about the man in front of him was drawing him in. He couldn’t help but start to doubt himself and his previously held assumptions about Aaron being out for his blood.

It was sometimes hard for Robert to believe, but maybe this hadn’t been about him after all.

He looked at the man sat up on the stage, facing the world. Robert knew who Aaron Dingle was – it was hard to avoid him in the footballing world, as a regular in the England squad and a goal-scoring player for one of the top clubs in the Premier League. He was vaguely aware of the lad’s background – a local hero in these parts having grown up in a small village in the Yorkshire Dales – and his well-documented troublesome teenage years with various police run-ins surprisingly made him a bit of a working class hero amongst fans. He took no prisoners – on or off the pitch – and he was fiercely loyal to his club, having once turned down an obscene pay cheque to play for Real Madrid when he had been a promising 19 year old, stating he would only ever play for his boyhood club.

Robert knew all of this about him, and would recognise his surly-yet-intriguing features anywhere; dark features enhancing his rough and ready demeanour; his brown hair kept short at the sides with a hint of curls styled minimally on top, and the perfect amount of stubble adorning his jawline. He had rarely seen pictures of Aaron Dingle smiling, but he had seen glimpses of it during goal celebrations or Instagram videos of the pranks he and Adam would play on one another and he knew it was a smile worth working for. Only he did seem to make you work for it.

He knew Aaron Dingle had been a favourite with the females, but hadn’t thought much about exactly why until now. It was only now that he saw him in the flesh for the first time that he could appreciate how attractive he was – how his dark and moody aura seemed to verge almost on aggressiveness, but that there was a slight vulnerability there, and those two characteristics rolled together did everything to ignite a spark hidden deep inside of Robert.

He flinched at allowing himself to have those thoughts, even for a half a second.

It had been years since he’d allowed himself to be tempted.

 “So,” Aaron continued, having drawn out the suspense for longer than Robert realised. “I’ve called this…. _announcement_ …because there’s something I need to say.”

Every sentence was punctuated with a pause, and Robert felt the tension in the room rise, sure he could see the odd eye-roll or watch-check from the sitting crowd; one visibly mouthing a _get-on-with-it_ to their colleague sat beside them.

Aaron must have noticed, but he paid little attention to their impatience, speaking slowly, and jauntily, and choosing each work carefully as if he had gone over his speech numerous times in preparation.

“I’m sick of hiding,” he added with a sigh of admission. “Not hiding from people who matter to me. But…because this _…job_ …means _you lot_ care about what I do, I hide it from you. But you know what? I shouldn’t need to. And I’m not gonna hide it anymore.”

Aaron flinched at the flash of a camera to his left, tutting and bringing his hand to his face, squeezing his eyes as if trying to rid them of the light than always swims around your vision after a camera flash assaults your retina.

“It’s 2016, right,” Aaron continued, clearly reaching frustration with having to admit to whatever he was having to admit to. “I shouldn’t have to come out and…” he swallowed as he faltered over his words; as if they had taken him by surprise, “come out and say what I’m gonna say. But because nobody – or no footballer – has had the balls to do it before, I’m here to do it now.”

Robert clicked then, just as some others in the room did too.

Aaron confirmed their suspicions with conviction.

“I’m gay.”

The quickest of stunned silences fell around the room; reporters looking to their colleagues with something resembling a mixture of shock and wide eyed excitement that they had finally witnessed it. Speculation had been rife for years about when a player in the spotlight would have the decency to break the last taboo in football, and Aaron Dingle had just gone and done it.

Arguably the one most of them would have suspected the least.

 “I’m gay,” Aaron repeated, as if he wasn’t sure anyone had heard him the first time, and his words caused a flash of heat to skim through Robert’s insides as Aaron continued, “and I ain’t telling you all for any reason other than I ain’t ashamed of it, and I don’t wanna hide and look over my shoulder any time I’m out with another guy, and I definitely don’t want anyone selling a story and making money off it. I’m not interested in being a role model – I never have been – and I don’t care about all the stuff you’re gonna wanna ask me about whether I know if there’s any others and who they are. This isn’t about them, or about breaking through…walls…or prejudice in football or…whatever. I’m doing this for me, so I don’t have to care what bar I’m drinking in, or who sees me where, or who I’m having a drink with or who’s on my bloody Instagram page.”

He paused, letting out a sigh of relief that he had finally done it, a clear weight having been visibly lifted from his shoulders.

Robert watched on then as Aaron fielded questions from the baying crowd of journalists, noticing the way Aaron would occasionally flinch at the way a question was phrased, or the way he would cut off certain questions about other gay players in the game. _Yes,_ he knew of others, he told them. _No,_ he wasn’t going to talk about it because it was nothing to do with him. _No,_ there weren’t any more he knew of at Dales United. Robert shot a glance back to Adam Barton for a split second, sure he had witnessed something between the pair of them earlier, but the other lads face gave nothing away other than a hint of concern for what his friend was being put through at the other end of the room.

Aaron’s onslaught continued. _Yes,_ his family and friends had known for years. _Yes,_ most of his teammates knew. _No,_ he did not experience homophobia in the dressing room. Robert watched as Aaron dealt with the press like a professional, but one that wouldn’t take anything from them that he didn’t want to hear. He had been nervous – visibly so – when he had first arrived in front of this audience. But now – now he had told them something Robert knew he could never do – now he was strong, and defiant in the way he responded to them – handling their insensitivities and their hunger for idle gossip with dignity, with courage, and with admirable tact. He was confident; self-aware. Sure of himself.

Robert thought back to when he had sat in the same chair less than two days earlier in his unveiling as the new Dales United manager. He was rarely shaken – proud of the perception of arrogance that seemed to follow him around – and yet in this room; in front of the world’s media, he had found the attention and the persistent questioning hard to deal with. He’d had to take some time to himself once it was over to collect his thoughts – to remind himself that he did have what it took to do the job, because the pariahs in this room had made him question it for the slightest of moments.

But Aaron Dingle wasn’t shying away from this situation. Aaron Dingle was steadfast and resolute against their skilful words and their twisted advances towards him. Aaron Dingle was handling the press with conviction and strength.

Aaron Dingle was certainly grabbing Robert’s attention; not least because of the admission he had just made to the world.

Part of Robert wanted to curse himself for even considering entertaining that line of thought, but another, deeper, part of him felt a pulse of excitement flowing through his veins that he would find difficult to ignore.

He would be meeting Aaron at training tomorrow, and he would need to do everything he could to stay as far away from him as possible, else he was well aware of how complicated this could become.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some mild references to homophobia in this chapter. Or, Robert puts his foot in it, shocker.
> 
> Also, note in this AU Aaron is not a victim of abuse. And neither does he self-harm.

**Chapter 2**

 

Robert took a deep breath.

It was the first time he’d experienced the awkward player/new manager introductions from the other side of the touchline. He’d been a player in his teens and early twenties, with relative success, but a series of injuries on the pitch had put paid to his blossoming footballing career and lead him down a slightly different path – and one for which his father had become his steadfast mentor.

Jack Sugden had been legendary in the world of football. ‘A rare diamond’, he’d often been described as. His obituaries across the Sunday papers 6 months ago had seen a plethora of overstated saint-like remarks – _The Chosen One; Football’s Greatest Son; The Best Manager England Never Had –_ the latter a reference to him having turned down the job for the national team in order to stay in charge of the one and only club he’d ever managed. He’d lead the Leeds based side to over 17 Premier League titles in his 23 years in charge, before a sudden fatal heart attack brought an untimely end to his football management career.

But not to Robert’s ever-present drive to be a man his father would be proud of.

Robert had hated the constant media presence surrounding his father’s death – the constant thirst from journalists for a new story; a new insight into this _hero’s_ life – and the way they had been plaguing him since his appointment at Dales United only served to remind him of the relentless nature of such media attention. They had been outside the training ground when he’d driven in this morning – lining the metal barriers put in place especially in anticipation of their arrival with their notepads and iPads and microphones and cameras – and although they’d stirred and pawed at him with their twisted questions upon his arrival, he knew he was old news following the events of the previous day.

They were here for Aaron Dingle – now football’s first openly gay Premier League footballer.

As Robert walked out onto the training pitch to meet his team for the first time, he tried to catch Aaron’s eye – wasn’t sure why, but he had something inside of him that wanted to check the lad was alright; that he was coping; that he had managed to manoeuvre his way through the mob lurking outside the ground. Aaron was distant though – from the whole team and not just from the idea of being introduced to Robert – as if his mind was in another place all together.

Robert felt a flash of embarrassment that he had made assumptions about Aaron’s intentions in the press conference the previous day – that he assumed Aaron had been about to bad mouth him on behalf of his new teammates. He’d made his lifelong mistake of assuming everything was about him – something his dad had used to chastise him for. He was just thankful that he’d kept quiet and not made a fool of himself before he’d found out the truth.

The team gathered around, and Robert resisted the urge to watch Aaron’s every step, aware he had to put the lad and his admission the previous day to the back of his mind, and start his mission to make his father proud.

Jack had given Robert the best mentoring he could have asked for in preparation for this moment – in preparation for taking on responsibility for the success and failure of one of the top sporting teams in the country. No other manager in this league was as young as Robert Sugden. No other manager in this league had been appointed to their role in more surprising circumstances. No other manager in this league had taken on a Premier League side as their first ever management role.

But no other manager in this league was Jack Sugden’s son. No other manager in this league had spent the last 7 years training for their coaching badges under the watchful eye of the greatest footballing manager that had ever lived. No other manager in this league, in all honesty, had the quality of players he now found stood before him.

Surely he had everything he needed to prove himself to the world; and to Lawrence.

And, most of all, to his father.

“Right, lads,” Robert called out, getting the attention of the few stragglers still playing keepy-uppy with a ball at the back of the assembled crowd of players.

He looked around at the faces stood before him – not one of them would be able to walk down any high street in the UK without being recognised. National players; international players; locally grown heroes; up and coming stars of the game; aged and experienced professionals; those in the form of their lives and those struggling to regain previous heights of success.

And it was his job, now, to make sure this group of men stood here at the end of the season with some form of trophy atop their heads.

“I’ve got one goal here,” Robert addressed them, fully aware that for every face stood welcoming him and listening intently, there was another of the team watching and waiting for confirmation of their own suspicions – that Robert wasn’t up to the job.

“I want you to win,” he continued, regardless of the mixed reception. “I want you to win the league. And I want you to win the Champions League. And the FA Cup. And the Charity Shield. And whatever other bit of silverware we can fit into that trophy cabinet you walk past every time you walk into that stadium. But we can’t stand here right now and do that. All we can do is take one game at a time; take each moment in each game, one at a time. Starting today. Win the training session. Win the ball. Win the tackle. Win each minute of each game so that you can Win. Each. Game. Win a streak of games. Build on it when you’re winning. Never let losing enter your mind.”

He felt like the spirit of his father was emanating from him as he stood and repeated to this group of players what he’d heard his father preaching to many a team before him, pausing to add weight to his words before continuing.

“Trust my decisions – however much some of you might think I’m not experienced enough to be making them, or that I’m only here because of who I know. Because if we don’t have that trust, we have nothing, and we aren’t a team. If you want to question me – then question me. Ask me why, and I’ll tell you why. I don’t play games – that’s _your_ job. _Winning_ games is your job. But above everything, working together – playing as a team – _that’s_ your job. And if you can do that – if you can build that team spirit together – you’ll have a real chance of hitting that peak at the end of the season, and getting what we all know this group of players deserves.”

Robert looked around at the players before him, some of them smiling back at him and nodding, and a few of those who had looked at him questioningly before he started speaking he noticed were now looking at him more with intrigue than disdain.  He chanced a look at Aaron, wanting him to be looking back with at least some form of apprehensive acceptance, but all he was met with was the top of Aaron’s head as he kept it bowed and focused on the ground below him.

Robert sighed unwittingly before composing himself.

“We’re going to do a full round of 11-a-sides today with rolling subs. I want to see what you can do. I know what some of you are capable of as footballers and there’s no doubt this team should be winning, but all bets are off. If you can’t show me in training what you are capable of on the pitch – you’re not on the team sheet. Understood?” Robert waited for the nods and _Yes Boss_ responses to ripple through the group of men stood before him. “Great, sort yourselves into teams and show me what you can do.”

His gaze was drawn straight to Aaron as soon as the crowd started to disperse; the players all taking direction from the team coaches as to who would be on what team and in which position on the field. He couldn’t help but notice that Aaron’s mind certainly seemed to be elsewhere –understandably so – as he reluctantly threw a nod in Robert’s direction but then kept his focus on the ground and headed off to the training pitch behind the rest of the players.

Robert felt the beginnings of a prickle of dissatisfaction ripple through his insides as his eyes followed Aaron around the training session with no response. He had watched the lad the previous day in the press conference and felt inexplicably drawn to his defiancde, recognising how it seemed to mask an aura of vulnerability. He was a good looking guy – Robert had known that already, even before they’d met – but Robert saw good looking guys all the time, and it had been years since he’d felt drawn to someone the way he did to Aaron. The admission the lad had made to the world, and his whole demeanour as he’d done it – the strength with which he’d been able to stand up and be proud of who he was; the way he’d handled the baying crowd of journalists like a boss; the way he’d been so unflinchingly honest and resolute in who he was and that he didn’t care what anybody thought of him – it had ignited something deep inside of Robert that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

He had felt himself spiralling as soon as he’d left the building yesterday, and then he’d gone back home to his fiancée and he’d spent the most part of the evening trying to erase the Dingle lad’s face from where it had become etched onto the inside of his eyelids. He’d made love to Chrissie solely in a bid to push something else to the forefront of his stream of consciousness, but the let-up had been brief and short-lived, and he’d gone to sleep with one person on his mind – and it hadn’t been the woman he had lain next to.

And yet despite having given Aaron so much of his time the previous day, the lad seemed to be refusing to acknowledge Robert in any way during today’s training session.

He had to quickly remind himself that not only did Aaron probably have quite a few other things on his mind, he also hadn’t been made aware of Robert’s existence until a few minutes ago, and even then Robert wasn’t sure he’d even been paying any attention.

What was Robert expecting – for him to fall at his feet on first sight?

Robert watched on as the players demonstrated their understanding of what he had asked of them – showboating their skills as they dribbled the ball past one another, tackling to great effect as they intercepted the ball, goals trickling in at both ends of the training pitch, followed each time by a slap of hands or a bump of fists or a playful knuckle graze whilst being held in a headlock.

Aaron had scored one of the goals – as expected – and despite having been surrounded by his teammates he’d been less than enthusiastic in his celebrations of the goal. Robert was sure he saw Aaron flinch with anger at something whispered in his ear by another player – Ross Barton, centre back – and Robert tried to convince himself it wasn’t the sort of comment he immediately assumed it had been, seeing as Aaron had assured the press that he’d not experienced homophobia from his fellow teammates.

If he was honest he didn’t want to have to deal with that kind of situation in his team. He wasn’t sure he had the tact to do so.

He tried to keep his watchful eye impartial as he assessed the skill displayed by all of the lads on his team, but his eyes were drawn more often than not to the agility of a certain dark-haired Yorkshireman who had been nestled in the depths of his thoughts more than he should have been over the past 24 hours.

Aaron seemed focused, more than anything, and although Robert couldn’t profess to understand the slight nuances of the younger man’s personality, he could gather that he was feeling the weight of expectation land heavier on his shoulders, knowing the world would be watching his every move for a short time after his public coming out. He must have been aware that he’d be spending the next few weeks weathering a storm – from the media as well as the fans – and Robert suspected he intended to throw himself into his football, and to say all he had to say on the pitch.

He knew that’s what he would be doing, if it were him.

Except it never would be, would it? Robert knew in the pit of his stomach he’d never be able to do what he’d watched Aaron do in front of the world’s press yesterday.

Adam Barton’s booming laugh carried itself across the field of play as he managed to trickle another ball past the helpless reserve keeper, taking Robert’s attention away for a short moment and encouraging him to actually pay a little attention to the other 25 players in his current squad.  A few minutes later the coach blew his whistle to draw the players in for a quick breather between halves, and Robert took the opportunity to circulate through the group of breathless, recovering athletes and pass on some thoughts about their performances so far.

Between conversations Robert took a few minutes to watch Aaron and Adam’s miniature reunion after having been kept apart for 45 minutes through playing upfront for opposing sides. He saw how Adam noticed Aaron’s surlier-than-usual demeanour and took a water bottle from the pile, ripping off the plastic covering on the sports capped bottle and squirting the contents of the bottle into Aaron’s face before grabbing him by the shoulders and making some remark that succeeded in bringing a rare – if brief – smile to Aaron’s face.

Robert felt something stirring in the pit of his stomach that he knew he needed to ignore.

Robert passed from one player to the next, spending a few minutes with each one in turn in an effort to get to know them and to provide some half-time analysis on what he’d seen from them so far, all the while taking every opportunity to chance a glance to the far side of the group to see what Aaron and Adam were up to. Each time he saw something similar – Adam bouncing around his friend like an over-excited puppy, jesting about in extensive efforts to make his friend smile, and succeeding on a 50/50 basis.

He finished speaking with Ross Barton, telling him to cool it on the tackles – that he knew he could be a leg breaker because he’d seen the game last season when he’d done it after sliding in on that Scottish international who played for their rivals down the M62 – and Robert made it clear that he didn’t want the same happening in training against their own players. He took Ross’s reluctant eye roll as his version of an agreement and made his way towards the final two players he needed to speak with – Aaron and Adam.

“Robert!”

Robert couldn’t help the involuntary jaw clench at hearing Lawrence call his name from the touchline, just as he would have the chance to finally speak to the lad he’d wanted to speak to before any others, but hadn’t wanted to make it look too obvious.

He heaved a sigh as he heard his name called again, throwing a nod to the coach to ask them to get the second half of the training match underway, and then made his way over to Lawrence as he stood by the entrance to the training field. He broke into a gentle jog as he neared the older man; sure Lawrence had no intentions of nearing the gap between them himself for fear of getting mud on his newly purchased loafers.

“To what do I owe this interruption,” Robert asked with a hint of disdain.

It wasn’t that he didn’t get on with his father-in-law-to-be – he had given him this golden opportunity of a job after all, and Robert couldn’t help but feel slightly thankful for that – but the older man always had a way to make Robert know that he hadn’t yet proven himself. Robert was fully aware that Lawrence making him manager at Dales United wasn’t so much a ‘ _let’s make my wonderful son-in-law’s dreams come true’_ sentiment, but was much more of an ‘ _if you can do this then you’re worthy of my daughter, and if not hopefully she’ll see that and get rid’_ kind of thing.

It made him all the more determined to show Lawrence exactly what he knew he was capable of.

 “I wanted to invite you out for dinner tonight,” Lawrence asked politely.

Robert nodded nonchalantly. There was nothing strange about them going for a business dinner on occasion – and to any watchful observer it was clear that Lawrence was a man who enjoyed his food.

“I’m going to invite Chrissie, too,” Lawrence added. “And Aaron.”

Robert furrowed his brow at the latter addition to the guest list.

“Ok,” Robert uttered with an air of confusion. “Any particular reason why?”

His words were slow and measured, as if he was trying to hide any sign of the spike in his emotions caused by the suggestion of spending the evening with Aaron Dingle.

“I just think the club needs to show support,” Lawrence sighed, seemingly a little uncomfortable with the situation. “The press office has been inundated since his statement yesterday, asking what the club’s response is. I don’t want to make a distasteful statement about a player’s personal life, but I think a public outing between ourselves and Aaron will go a long way to tell them what they need to know.”

Robert nodded along, seeing the sense in what Lawrence had suggested, for once.

“Yeah, good idea,” Robert agreed.

He tried to ignore whatever it was inside of him that wanted to plaster a smile over his face.

“Does Aaron know?” Robert asked, trying to divert his emotions away from excitement and to give himself an excuse to approach the Yorkshireman.

“Not yet – I’ll talk to him later. Don’t mention it to him yet,” Lawrence requested, “I want it to come from me.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Robert obliged reluctantly. “Anything else? Only I better get back to the training session –”

“No, that’s all,” Lawrence interrupted him, smiling “I’ll let you get on,” he added, before heading back inside the training complex.

Robert turned back to watch the second half of the training game.

His mind was wandering though, and he couldn’t concentrate on assessing the players in front of him when all he could think about was one thing.

Dinner tonight.

With Aaron.

He tried to ignore that his immediate reaction was to hope that Chrissie had picked up his navy blue suit from the dry cleaners.

He knew how it brought out his eyes so well.

He hoped Aaron would notice that.

He spent the rest of the training session realising he was staring into the distance and trying to force himself to keep his attention on the training game, but it was a battle with himself he kept losing, much preferring the daydreams of himself and Aaron that danced around in the distance he stared towards.

“Alright, boss,”

The voice sounded familiar, and Robert’s vision came back into focus to land on the same face he’d been daydreaming about.

Aaron Dingle.

Stood within touching distance.

He felt a heated tingle run through his cheeks at the way the lad addressed him.

He could get used to that.

“Yes,” Robert answered him, his voice croaking as it betrayed him unintentionally.

He immediately cleared his throat in an effort to compose himself as he thrust his hands inside of the pockets of his maroon gilet to feign indifference.

“I, erm, just wanted to say, you’ve probably seen it on the news and that,” Aaron muttered, self-conscious, kicking into the ground as he spoke and refusing to look Robert in the eye. “Well, they all already know – most of them know anyway,” he gestured towards his teammates, “so…erm…so….no need to say anything about it, or bring it up, or…”

His voice seemed to fade out as his point failed to reach a conclusion.

Robert watched Aaron shuffle uncomfortably in the silence which lingered between them.

“Why would I have brought it up anyway, it’s nothing to do with the football is it?” Robert quipped, attempting to sound casual about Aaron’s sexuality, but realising it came across a lot more like disinterest; and more than a little abrupt.

“Right, well, good,” Aaron replied dismissively, shaking his head slightly as he walked off, teeth clenching together causing the sides of his lips to downturn. He didn’t know much about his new boss, but he knew he didn’t take well to being patronised so arrogantly.

Robert winced, aware that his words had seemed bitter and unwelcoming. He supposed he at least achieved his aim of masking whatever it was lurking deep inside of him that had made him think about the lad and little else for the past 24 hours, 30 minutes, and counting. Yet, he knew he could have handled it a little better, even by Robert’s standards.

After a short while the training session drew to a close, and Robert thanked the players for their efforts. He noticed how Aaron took a wide berth so as to avoid him on the way back into the changing rooms, and how he was sure he saw Adam trying yet again to make his friend smile by doing the age-old exaggerated jump forwards as Aaron passed by behind him, as if Aaron had copped a cheeky feel. It earnt him a playful shove and a smile from Aaron, quickly followed by some nimbly carried out revenge as Aaron managed to tug down Adam’s football shorts, exposing his tight white Calvin Klein’s for all the world to see.

“Ehhhhhh,” Adam called out in mock indignation as Aaron ran ahead of him towards the changing rooms. “Look, don’t drop the soap eh, lads,” he called out to his teammates in a dig of revenge towards Aaron, unable to stop the laughter escaping him as he shouted it.

“Dick,” Aaron fired back at him, unable to stop the smirk on his face as he turned and flipped the middle finger of each hand towards his friend.

Robert smirked at the sight of Aaron’s sunshine smile, aware it wasn’t something that was easy to get out of the lad.

He thought about making it his resolve to get a smile out of Aaron by the time the evening was through.

He wasn’t sure it would be so easy.

The following hours seemed to pass slowly for Robert – punctuated by a constant stream of watch-checks in between coffee breaks and broken concentration spans as he tried to look over details that the club scouts had sent him about some possible new signings. No matter how hard he’d tried to ignore it, the anticipation of his evening with Aaron was playing havoc with his emotions, and he found himself having to find ways to fill the time and take his mind off the lad.

He took his treasured car for a drive – his vintage Aston Martin usually being able to find a cure for whatever his ailment was – but it seemed like every song that played on the radio tempted him with tales of romantic promise and wanton desire and even teenage crushes which he seemed to remember resembled quite a lot of what his current predicament felt like. He sat at home and played his Xbox, but all the while could only wonder what games Aaron usually played – no doubt next to Adam – and if he’d be able to beat him at any of them. He even considered a trip to the gym to help the time pass quicker, but he hadn’t stepped foot in one in a few years and he didn’t think he was quite at that level of desperation that would make him resort to those extremes.

Maybe he’d reach that level if things didn’t improve over the next few days.

He flinched as he thought about what exactly would constitute an improvement, and what he’d have to do with Aaron to get there. He wasn’t sure he wanted to dwell on that for too long, either.

Or did he?

The time eventually passed, and Robert found himself sat with Lawrence and Chrissie inside the brightly-lit ultra-modern showpiece of a restaurant. It was right on the high street, full floor-to-ceiling windows lining the street to make it the perfect place to be spotted, as per their intentions. Everything inside was slick and suave, aesthetics so well thought out that everything flowed perfectly throughout, shades of blue and silver and white matched together to create a luxurious atmosphere, light blue twinkling lights arranged elegantly along the ceiling to provide a subtle, flattering lighting hue to those sat beneath it.

The waiter arrived at the table to take their drinks order, with Lawrence picking out a bottle of Saint-Emilion at the higher end of the price scale and pondering over what to order for Aaron.

“He’ll have a flirtini,” Robert joked with a wicked grin, unaware of Aaron’s impending arrival as he approached the table.

“Nah, I’ll have a beer, thanks,” Aaron confirmed sullenly to the waiter, manoeuvring around the tables and taking a seat in the chair opposite Robert, glaring over at him with a warning that he hoped he wouldn’t need to repeat.

Robert swallowed down the lump in his throat, aware Aaron had caught him as he’d put his foot in it a little. He couldn’t help feeling that he lost all sense of decency where Aaron was concerned, and it made him hesitant to take too much of a part in the conversation for the evening.

Robert let Lawrence take the lead for the evening, watching on as he heaped praise on Aaron’s shoulders for the way he had been dealing with the press, and the way he needed to do his talking on the pitch. He cringed when Chrissie tried to interject, attempting to sound as if she knew what she was talking about and feigning that she cared about the lad’s well-being.

Aaron seemed a little uncomfortable at times – probably wondering what the hell he was doing out to dinner with the club CEO that he’d hardly ever spoken to and a random couple he’d only met earlier that day.

Still, Robert suspected Aaron knew what the game was, and that they were all playing some part in the performance for the benefit of their audience, who they had all noticed lurking outside at several points throughout the meal with their camera flashes and the sly mobile phone snaps. The worst type were the ones pretending to take a selfie, until their flash went off betraying the direction of their phone’s focus.

Still, they all understood what was happening, and why it had to happen, so they went through the motions for the remainder of the evening.

“So, what got you into football then?” Robert heard Chrissie ask as soon as the waiter left with their order. He resisted the eye-roll that threatened to appear at the mundanity of Chrissie’s question.

“Erm, usual really,” Aaron replied with a sigh – a betrayal of his slight exasperation at this forced farce of a media show despite his attempted good manners. “Dad brought me to Dales as a lad, joined the academy, never looked back.”

“Well it certainly wasn’t the WAG’s that drew him in, was it?” Robert chipped in after a tortuous few moments of awkward silence around the table. “More like all those men in shorts, eh?”

Glances were exchanged around the table in the frosty silence that followed.

“You what?” Aaron questioned him after a pause, eyes narrowing and jaw clenching as his lip curled up slightly to the left.

Robert had nothing in response but to let out a small laugh – hoping it would let Aaron know he meant the quip in good humour.

“Calm down, it’s just a joke,” Robert tried to assure Aaron and the Whites, well aware they hadn’t seen a funny side.

He wasn’t sure the younger lad was convinced as he continued to glare over at him as Lawrence and Chrissie tried to divert the conversation in another direction.

It was another 10 minutes before Robert attempted to join the conversation again, deciding he would stay well away from trying to make Aaron laugh any more, picking up that maybe it wasn’t as easy as Adam Barton would make you believe.

The waiter arrived with their meals, and Robert’s mouth watered with the tastefully presented venison that was placed in front of him; echoes of Masterchef in the tiny portions and smudged dollops of _jus_ adorning the plate.

He glanced over at Aaron’s meal – medium-rare fillet steak with Jenga-stacked chunky chips.

Robert couldn’t help but notice the size of the cow on Aaron’s plate.

“Like a bit of meat, do you?” Robert commented with a broad smile on his face; cringing slightly inside with how awkward and forced he sounded, without realising exactly what it was he should have been cringing at.

The slam of Aaron’s cutlery against the table and the lip-curling glare that Aaron shot in his direction told him maybe the lad had inferred something other than an innocent meat-based conversation starter.

He could practically taste the disdain emanating from Aaron’s pores as he looked back at him across the table.

Robert quickly realised how his words could have sounded to Aaron – especially since he’d already managed to make a bad impression – but before he could clarify and correct himself, Lawrence had taken it upon himself to apologise on Robert's behalf, and to change the subject onto telling tales of his recent Chilean wine tour, and before Robert had a chance to catch Aaron’s eye or to interject in Lawrence’s story in order to apologise to the younger lad himself, the moment had passed by and Robert was left looking every inch the prized prat in front of Aaron.

He sighed.

He didn’t like it when he was made to look bad.

Least of all in front of people he desperately wanted to see some good in him.

Robert could feel his self-destructive tendencies brimming to the surface.

He cut his losses and grabbed the bottle of red wine from the middle of the table, pouring himself a large glass – almost to the rim – to finish off the bottle. He signalled to the waiter for another bottle, and ignored the glances from his future father-in-law that would no doubt contain a warning for him to watch his behaviour in front of ‘employees’.

He took no notice.

He knew that by the time he’d finished the glass of wine he’d just poured himself, he’d be past caring.

He didn’t take lightly to being made to feel a fool, especially when he was trying his best to make a good impression. Whatever his motivations for that fact were.

And if he was going to put his foot in it with everything he said when he had the best of intentions, then maybe they’d like to see what it looked like when he really did have the worst of intentions.

Robert sulked throughout the meal, aware of the glances passed over in his direction from all three of his dinner guests, but every sip of wine made him care less and less.

His glass was almost empty by the time the waiter brought over the new bottle he’d requested, and with their meals finished the waiter started to stack and clear their plates away.

“Anything else I can get you?” the waiter asked politely.

Robert turned his attention towards the man stood at their table. He was attractive – he supposed – and clearly took care of himself. Floppy brown hair styled into that _I-woke-up-like-this_ look that all the kids seemed to be going for these days, and resting above dark brown puppy-dog eyes that glinted playfully when Robert looked up at them.

Huh.

_He’s eyeing me up,_ Robert thought to himself.

He smirked.

“Yeah,” Robert replied to the waiter’s earlier question. “I mean not for me, but what do you reckon Aaron?”

His words were slurred, betraying his inebriation.

“I reckon he’s one of yours. Do you want his number?”

He wasn’t sure if the reaction happened in slow motion, or if it was the red wine slowing his thought processes, but he became aware of a hushed, stunned, silence draping over the other three people sat at his table, before the screeching sound of metal chair legs against the tiled floor as Aaron slammed his hands down on the table to help him push his chair back with more vigour.

“I’ve had enough of this,” Aaron seethed as he threw his napkin down on the table and stormed away towards the corridor leading to the toilets at the back of the restaurant.

He wasn’t exactly feeling proud of himself, but at least he wasn’t being chastised for something that was an innocent mistake. He would much rather have intended to cause this frostiness towards him, than be a victim of it through error.

Robert looked towards Chrissie, noticing how she exhaled with a slight degree of shame aimed towards her fiancé, leaning back in her chair and facing away from the man she agreed to marry as the waiter scuttled away in embarrassment.

“Robert,” Lawrence admonished fervently. “You follow him right now, and you apologise to him!”

Robert shrugged his shoulders, smirking on one side of his mouth.

“Apologise for what?” he replied, feigning ignorance at the disturbance caused by his words. “It’s just a bit of banter,” he insisted with a smirk. “You should have seen him with Adam this afternoon –”

“Yes, well, you’re not Adam Barton, Robert,” Lawrence interjected forcibly; Robert becoming slightly taken aback by Lawrence’s conviction. “You’re in no position to be poking fun at Aaron about this. You’re supposed to be his manager – you’re supposed to command respect from him and be a leader to him. Not try and ‘banter’ with him to become his new best friend, and certainly not to insult him to the point when he storms off like _that_. This is not what I intended when I suggested this meal, and you damn well know that – now you go and follow him to apologise, or I might have to think twice about whether you’re suitable for this job.”

Robert rolled his eyes. He was desperate to snap back at the ageing man sat diagonally across from him at the table, but he was all too well aware that Lawrence White held the power to strip him of everything he had worked for over the last few years, and even in his drunken state he knew that jeopardising that was not a move he really wanted to make.

“Fine,” Robert conceded with an exaggerated sigh – the best he could do to show Lawrence how little he approved of his interference – and he made his way in the direction of the toilets that Aaron had stormed off towards.

He pushed open the door to the gents, eyes scanning the room to see each of the cubicles empty and nobody stood at the sinks behind him. He turned to leave, somewhat disappointed if he was honest that he hadn't found Aaron, until he suddenly felt the force of the door against his hands as he held them up to push it open, and before he knew it he was being pushed back inside the toilets, Aaron’s hands fisting at the material of Robert’s shirt as he pushed his manager across the tiled floor until his back crashed up against the MDF partition between two of the cubicles on the far side of the room.

Aaron’s lip curled as he got up in Robert’s face, watching the look of surprise wash over his fair features, and he couldn’t help but notice how the freckles on Robert’s face seemed so much more prominent when standing so close.

He wasn’t sure he’d even noticed them before.

“I don’t care if you’re my new gaffer,” Aaron hissed at Robert, face inches from his assailant, so close he could taste the red wine on Robert’s breath. “Nobody talks to me like that,” Aaron continued, “and if you can’t deal with me being gay, you need to sort that out in your own head, because the problem is _yours,_ Robert. OK?”

Aaron let his words linger between the two of them, question clearly rhetorical, breath short and sharp and threatening as the sound of it became the only sound to fill the air between the two of them.

Aaron felt the anger still pulsing through him from the words Robert had directed his way during the meal, but he couldn’t ignore something else that rippled alongside that anger as he stood with his body pressed up against Robert’s, faces mere centimetres apart, blue eyes staring with intent into dirty blue eyes, and yet he couldn’t place the feeling he was being subjected to.

He relaxed his hands from where they scrunched up Robert’s shirt and took a step backwards, suddenly unsure of himself but unwilling to let Robert see so, keeping his steely expression as Robert smoothed out the creases Aaron’s fists had imprinted on the chest of his shirt.

“I’m not scared of you, Robert,” Aaron insisted, pointing a finger in Robert’s direction as he did so, before the whining of the door hinges snapped him out of his threatening pose as another customer walked into the gents toilets, breaking the glare between the two of them as they relaxed their stances and turned to watch the stranger make his way towards a cubicle.

Aaron snatched a look back at Robert as they stood in the toilets, both with jaws clenched and eyes narrowed; both trying to fight back an unfamiliar urge in the pit of their stomachs, telling them not to leave just yet.

Robert managed to win the fight with his emotions, letting his shoulder brush against Aaron’s as he broke their stand off and made his way out of the gents and back to the table. Aaron glanced up at the mirror – noting the slightly reddened nature of his expression as the anger at Robert’s insults still played heavy on his mind.

There was something else lurking, though, and he didn’t know what label to put on it.

He exhaled sharply, kicking the sink unit in pent up frustration, before leaving the sanctum of the gents to return to the table. He took his seat opposite Robert, who offered him nothing but an ice cold stare; a warning perhaps, Aaron thought, that he should think twice before threatening Robert in the same way again.

Aaron decided he wouldn’t sit there and be insulted again.

He stood up to leave, grabbing his coat off the back of his chair and reaching into his pocket to pull out a wad of cash, counting off enough to cover his meal.

“I’m off,” he announced as he went to throw the rolls of notes onto the table, before Lawrence wrapped his hand around the money and pushed it back in Aaron’s direction.

“Please, Aaron,” Lawrence replied gently, “this was on me. And I apologise on Robert’s behalf – you know you have the full support of everyone at the club.”

Aaron nodded with thanks and in response to Lawrence’s show of decency, realising he couldn't fault anything Lawrence had done this evening, other than inviting Robert to join them.

“Yeah, thanks,” he muttered quietly, aware the three of them were sat in public and that now wasn’t the place to kick off about the way Robert had spoken to him earlier on. “See you later,” he added, nodding in Chrissie’s direction and walking out of the restaurant without so much as a second look in Robert’s direction.

The cold, crisp air hit his lungs harsh as he left the restaurant, and he took a moment to lean back against the wall besides the door, head tilting back until it softly bounced up against the wall, inhaling deeply enough that he hoped it would rid him of the anger, and whatever that other feeling was that he’d had towards Robert too.

He was dreading training in the morning.

Probably not as much as Robert would be, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hello on tumblr - wellyfullofale.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for your comments/kudos <3   
> Just a reminder it's rated Explicit...

**Chapter 3**

Robert wasn’t sure if it was the thickness of his hangover headache which woke him up, or the subconscious realisation that what he hoped had been a nightmare had in actual fact been real life.

He sighed; full of regret.

He raised a hand to his face, covering his eyes as he squeezed his eyebrows, partly hoping to release some of the red-wine-tension lurking there and partly in an attempt to hide himself away from the world a little.

Why had he been so stupid?

He thought back to the night before, realising how he’d been so uncharacteristically socially awkward in Aaron’s presence, and how he’d been so far off the mark in trying desperately to make him smile. He should have stopped after he’d been caught insinuating Aaron would be ordering the most feminine drink on the menu; should have seen how Aaron was less than impressed with his feeble attempt at banter by the cautionary glances he’d sent him across the table; and yet he’d made the terrible decision to carry on being a _dick_ for the rest of the meal regardless.

What had made him think Aaron would be impressed by that?

Well, he knew the answer.

Wine.

And it was wine which made him feel like he’d been hit by a sledgehammer this morning, too.

How the hell was he going to fix this?

“Ah, so you’ve surfaced,” Chrissie commented as she fleeted back into their bedroom, throwing Robert’s phone down on the bed next to him and making her way into their ensuite without waiting for a reply. Clearly she wasn’t happy with him.

He couldn’t say he was surprised judging by the piecemeal memories he was stitching together in his mind from the night before.

He picked up the phone that Chrissie had thrown onto the bed – he must have left it downstairs again, more than likely his drunken state making him forgetful – and he tapped the screen only to find his battery dead.

That explained the lack of alarm this morning, too.

“What time is it?” Robert called out to Chrissie in the next room, remembering he needed to get himself to the training ground early to think about what team he was going to pick for the game tomorrow.

“Chrissie!” he called again after she failed to answer him.

 

A few seconds later his fiancée emerged from their ensuite and headed towards their walk-in wardrobe, returning seconds later with his dark blue jeans, white shirt and blue zip-up pullover that he’d decided the night before would be his work uniform, for now. 

He contemplated going for the brand-new, straight-out-of-the-packet, club-issued tracksuit – complete with RS initials emblazoned in white on the chest and left hip – but when he’d tried them on before the meal the night before he couldn’t help but think how odd he looked in such _casualwear_ , and realised he would try to avoid lowering himself to such attire for the time being.

“It’s 9.45,” Chrissie hissed at him, throwing the clothes onto the bed, fully aware of the panic that would ensue from her husband-to-be due to his unplanned lie-in.

She knew he was due at training in 45 minutes, and it was at least a 30 minute drive away.

“Shit, Chrissie,” he lamented her, throwing back the covers and jumping out of the bed so quickly he had to steady himself with the sudden wine-induced head rush. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

She stood and watched him stumble over his own feet as he tried to drag on his trousers whilst rushing to the bathroom.

“I needed to be in early today, you knew that,” he continued, placing every ounce of blame on his disinterested fiancée and taking none of it for himself. “I can’t believe you’d be so selfish to put this job at risk by making me late just because you’re in a mood with me. You’re such a _mmmmppphmm ummmpphhhhm_ –”

The toothbrush in his mouth made his insult incomprehensible, and probably for the best.

Chrissie rolled her eyes and left their bedroom without waiting to hear the rest of Robert’s monologue.

Robert rushed through his usual morning routine – get dressed, coffee, granola – and skipped the shower to save himself some time, which he was sure he would start to regret come the end of the day. He just hoped the fact that Lawrence had bought the expensive stuff last night meant he didn’t have that stench of stale alcohol seeping out of his pores; he wasn’t sure it worked like that though.

He was sure nothing could make Aaron think less of him than he did now anyway, after last night.

And anyhow – why was his immediate reaction to think of that brunette lad anyway?

He picked up the keys to his Aston Martin and checked his watch – he had 27 minutes to get to the training pitch. More than doable, he thought, so long as the roads were clear of sheep, tractors, and coppers.

They were, it turned out, and Robert managed to stroll onto the sideline of the training pitch just as the coaches brought the squad out from the changing rooms. Robert had been in such a panicked state as he’d rushed himself ready and driven at the speed of light – very possibly escaping death a few times on the drive there – that he hadn’t passed much thought to Aaron since the moment he’d woken up with his name circling around his mind, coupled with the image of his face within such close proximity to his own in those gents toilets the night before.

Regardless of the circumstances leading to Aaron’s rage, Robert couldn’t deny it had sparked something inside of him; that he’d had to leave and walk away when that other bloke had walked in on them because he couldn’t let Aaron see the sly smile he couldn’t physically suppress from taking over the lower half of his face.

Just like he couldn’t stop himself from watching the younger man like a hawk during the morning’s training session.

It killed him when he noticed how Aaron was _forcefully_ avoiding any kind of eye contact with him, as if he knew that to allow himself to look over at Robert would break all of the resolve he had managed to build up against him.

Aaron could tell that the blond man’s eyes were on him for almost the duration of the first hour of training; could feel the heat of his stare as it tore into him, no matter how far away from the side-lines Aaron tried to position himself.

He could just about cope with Robert’s staring, though – almost understanding what it was that made him unable to break his gaze away, sure he may have even been ready to reciprocate some of whatever it was that Robert was feeling had Robert not shown himself to be a complete idiot at the meal.

Aaron wasn’t going to let himself give in to it. Aaron couldn’t think past the way Robert had spoken to him the night before; the way he’d been so eager to insult him at every given opportunity. Yes, he may have caught his eye when he’d first seen him saunter out onto the pitch the previous day; and yes, he may have had to swallow down at the sight of him sat opposite him at the restaurant table the night before, especially with the way his navy suit brought out the blue of his eyes; and yes, he may be unable to think of nothing other than the way his freckles had stood out so much more clearly to him when he’d got all up in his face the night before.

But none of that excused the way Robert spoke to him.

Aaron didn’t let anybody speak to him like that.

And he’d be damned if he was going to allow himself to start fancying someone who was so clearly a bigot.

He purposely ignored Robert when he called all of the players over once the drills circuits had been completed; only following the rest of the team once the coach reiterated Robert’s orders.

He hoped Robert noticed that.

Robert did.

In fact, Robert noticed it plenty of times throughout the training session when Aaron repeatedly ignored his suggestions shouted over from the touchline.

A part of him couldn’t blame Aaron, knowing full well how much he had screwed up the night before, and he was starting to realised how much Aaron didn’t take to being treated like that.

But it started to become a problem for Robert when he realised that the other players in the team had started exchanging glances and grimacing amusedly every time Aaron deftly defied his orders.

“Dingle, pull back and play a little deeper,” Robert had called out to him, only to see moments later how Aaron pushed forwards and took on the reserve keeper and score past him in defiance.

And 10 minutes later, having had his suggestions successfully taken on board by various other members of the squad, he tried again.

“Dingle, rotate positions, come and play left back and swap with Pete.”

It was met with stony silence, a complete lack of movement, and a double handed questioning shrug from Pete Barton, who quickly gave up and stayed in his position, throwing a look of apology in Robert’s direction.

Robert gritted his teeth and threw his hands inside his jeans pockets.

As much as he understood why Aaron was being stubborn as hell, he knew he shouldn’t be seen to let him get away with it.

Robert revelled in the element of power that came with this role, but he was all too well aware that he couldn’t allow one of the team to disrespect him in this way in front of the others – that kind of thing was catching in team sports, and he didn’t need to give this squad any more reason to doubt him.

He called out to the other lads to switch their positions around, to which they all duly accepted, sure he even saw Adam knock Aaron on the shoulder to tell him _See, it’s not that hard._

Except, for Aaron, it was. For Aaron, allowing himself to follow Robert’s orders felt like submission; felt like he was allowing Robert to get away with the way Robert had spoken to him the night before. And he just couldn’t let him do that.

So he didn’t care how the rest of the team were noticing; or how Adam was giving him that look he knew meant he was being unreasonable; or that both the Barton brothers were looking ready to square up to him over his repetitive refusal to listen to Robert.

He refused to let his boss think he’d got away with the way he acted the night before.

It wasn’t just Robert he was angering though – his other teammates were shortening their fuse with each act of defiance Aaron carried out against Robert, taking it as an inexplicable act against the team as a whole.

And it was only when he made his last act of defiance – refusing to take the keeper’s gloves to spend the last 10 minutes in goal at Robert’s request, deftly throwing the keeper’s gloves to the ground in disgust – that he realised just how much some members of the team had had enough of his stroppiness.

“Just _what_ is your problem, Dingle,” Ross questioned, anger resonating through him as he urged forwards, in Aaron’s direction, ready for a fight.

Aaron flinched as he realised Ross was on the warpath across the pitch and headed in his direction.

“None of your business, Barton,” Aaron bit back.

Before he knew it Aaron was stumbling backwards, Ross’s palms having connected with his broad shoulders, and he was heading for him again.

“Boss asks you to do something, you do it,” Ross seethed at him again, palms coming up for another shove.

Aaron brought his hands up to block Ross’s advances, quickly pushing back against his assailant.

“Mind. Your own. Fucking. Business.”

Aaron didn’t need this. It didn’t take much for him to see red.

In the blink of an eye, the two players were pushing each other and stumbling in a heap on the ground.

“Woah, woah, OK, calm down,” Robert called out as he rushed over to intervene, arriving at the fracas well after the rest of the team had managed to separate Ross from Aaron and before any punches had been thrown. Black eyes on the Sky TV cameras tomorrow wouldn’t have made the best impression.

“OK, training session over,” Robert told the team quickly, encouraging them to back away from the situation which was developing before him. “Come on, this is ridiculous. You’re meant to be a team. You’ll never win games if you can’t work together, and I don’t want to see any of this again, do you hear me?”

There was a subdued chorus of _Yes, Gaffer_ from the players, but nothing from the two culprits, although Robert accepted what he got anyway.

“Come on, changing rooms,” he beckoned the team – Ross Barton included – and followed them as they made their way off the pitch, encouraging the coach to stay out on the field and check on Aaron.

Robert encouraged the team to stretch off quickly whilst giving them a dressing down in the changing rooms.

“Look,” Robert started, aware that he had to address the situation. “I know you’ve probably noticed Aaron Dingle wasn’t exactly co-operative today in training, and I know some of you have taken it to mean he doesn’t care about this team. But that’s not true, I’m sure of it. I don’t take that kind of attitude from my players, but I think we should all be aware of what Aaron is going through with the press at the moment and realise that – even if he thinks he doesn’t – he needs our support.”

He saw the patchwork of responses written all over the faces of his team as they loitered around the changing rooms.

“I will be talking to him,” Robert continued, realising he still had some convincing to do. “But you need to recognise that he will need you to have his back out on that pitch tomorrow, more than he ever has done before. And you’ll do that, for the sake of the Aaron Dingle you know and you’ve played with for years – not necessarily the one you’ve seen in training today.”

He paused to add effect to his own words.

“That OK?”

Various nods and muttered responses echoed around the breeze-blocked wall of the changing rooms.

“Come on lads, he’s right,” Adam started, backing Robert up and defending his best friend. “His head’s a shed at the moment, guys, he ain’t thinking straight. Let’s do him a favour and forget today, yeah?”

There was a slight increase in agreement amongst the faces in front of them, and Robert offered Adam a conciliatory smile in thanks.

Robert realised it was the most he would get out of them today, so he left with a promise of the team sheet for tomorrow’s game being ready for them to see first thing in the morning, and he walked away to let them discuss it amongst themselves.

He couldn’t think about choosing the team right now.

Not when Aaron was the only thing circling around his head.

He had to make amends with him, whatever it took.

He headed back out onto the training pitch, heart skipping a beat when he saw the familiar outline of Aaron’s muscular physique on the far side of the astro-turf. He made his way over towards him, realising the coach must have left him alone as he was nowhere to be seen.

“You planning on staying out here all day?” Robert asked as he approached Aaron’s line of sight, trying to hide the uncertainty in his tone.

Aaron mumbled something that Robert couldn’t quite catch.

“Didn’t catch that,” Robert told him, intrigued.

“I said, I was just waiting for you to leave,” Aaron snapped back at him, words slow and measured, dripping in conviction.

Robert sighed, thrusting his hands into his pockets. He knew Aaron was going to make him work for it – he knew how out of line he had been the night before – but he wasn’t going to give up at the first sign of rejection.

He had a feeling Aaron’s respect would be something worth working for; so he tried again.

“Look, the other night,” Robert started, uncharacteristically sincere in his tone. “I think I made a bad first impression –”

Aaron’s withering expression interrupted him, throwing him off course for a short moment.

“I know,” Robert replied to the silent statement, needing Aaron to see that he understood where he’d gone wrong the night before. “I know I was an idiot, and I was out of line, and I’m sorry, OK?”

Aaron paused for a second as if he was considering accepting Robert’s apology, but he resisted the temptation, offering nothing but a grunt, shoulder-shrug and a dismissive downturn of his mouth as he carried on with his drills.

Robert stood and watched the man who’d just rejected him, not realising how uncharacteristic it was for him to let someone ignore him and get away with it. Something about Aaron wouldn’t let him give it up, though – and he couldn’t explain why despite the way Aaron had scorned at him and told him to leave, he felt that some deeper part of Aaron didn’t really want to see him go.

So he stayed, and he watched. Aaron was aware of it – could see the blond hair in his peripheral vision as he repeated his agility tests to try and improve his time on each round. He didn’t tell his boss to leave, though. He’d already done that, and it hadn’t worked.

No need to ask again, was there?

So he pushed himself a little harder on each round of his drill. He couldn’t understand why he felt the need to put on a show for him, but he did it regardless. His lifted his knees higher on each of his jumps; he took an extra second to prepare for his shots on goal, to make sure he hit that sweet spot in the top right corner of the goal each time, to pinpoint perfection; he flicked the ball up with his heels, spinning it up to land in the nape of his neck as he leant downwards, executing perfect skill as he rolled it back around his neck, caught it on the top of his ankle, and spun his foot around to keep the ball off the ground repeatedly.

Robert watched it all, seeing the focus on Aaron’s face throughout, unable to help himself from poring over the way his shorts glided up and down his thighs as he jumped up and over the cones he’d laid out for himself in his fitness circuits. Robert’s eyes were fixated on the skin on show from his mid-thighs down to the top of his shin-pads – muscular legs with a spattering of dark hairs, rough and masculine in every way. He watched as the tendons in the back of Aaron’s knees worked away with his impressively skilful movements; had to stop himself from licking his lips as Aaron leant over whilst controlling the ball in the air; and feeling a flash of heat rise through him as the indentation of Aaron’s thigh muscles contracted and released themselves with his relentless display of fitness.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to tear his eyes away from the display Aaron was putting on for him.

It definitely felt like he was putting it on for him, anyway.

Robert knew that he had spent an unhealthy amount of time stood watching Aaron train, and he certainly wasn’t even sorry about it, but he realised he needed to make a break for it before Aaron caught on how closely he was watching, or he gave into temptation and made a fool out of himself. Again.

He was just about to draw breath in order to make his excuses when he noticed Aaron fall awkwardly to the ground and let out an excruciating groan, his hands immediately grabbing onto the calf muscle of his left leg as he rolled onto his back, face scrunched up with pain.

“Help, help, help, cramp,” Aaron explained hurriedly to Robert, holding a hand out to beckon Robert over to him, no doubt to help Aaron to carry out the well-known antidote to muscle fatigue.

Robert jogged towards him obediently, stopping as he reached Aaron’s feet and holding his hands out to grab hold of Aaron’s airborne left foot, which he duly stretched out rigid. Robert held Aaron’s foot at full mast, slowly pushing Aaron’s leg back towards himself in order to stretch out the calf muscle, and Robert couldn’t help but let out a mischievous laugh at the groaning sounds coming from Aaron’s mouth.

Robert watched the way Aaron looked up at him in disdain, but how the lad’s face softened somewhat when he allowed himself to take a step back and to listen to himself, seeing nothing but good natured teasing on Robert’s part.

“Thought you were gonna make another gay joke,” Aaron sneered, but there was a lack of real venom behind his remark.

Robert leant back to allow Aaron to relax his leg a little, but his grimace made it clear the cramp hadn’t dissipated so Robert pushed back against him to repeat the stretch.

“Look, I’m really sorry,” Robert admitted, despite how strange the words felt leaving his lips. “I was a bit of a dick last night –”

“A bit?” Aaron interrupted, brow creased into a frown at Robert’s understatement.

“OK, point taken,” Robert smirked back with a flip of his eyebrows, “I was just trying – and failing, before you start – to have a laugh.”

Aaron swallowed down, watching Robert as he stood above him, allowing himself to admit for the first time that the man had a certain charm about him – especially when he flashed his perfectly white teeth in a mischievous smirk as he just had done. He looked at the way his slightly overgrown blond locks covered the slightest of lines on his forehead when he raised his eyebrows at him; how his dirty blue eyes could show steely determination as they had done when he’d braved a look up from the ground during his team talk yesterday, yet they seemed to glint slightly with an air of flirtation as they stared down at him now; how his barely-pink lips were at sometimes barely distinguishable from his fair skin, and how it would feel to kiss th –

Wait.

Aaron physically shook away that train of thought.

He would _not_ allow himself to go there.

Robert was his manager. Therefore out of bounds.

And besides, he was engaged to a woman.

And quite possibly a massive homophobic runt, based on the previous evening’s performance.

Although the way he was looking at Aaron in that moment made him doubt everything he thought he’d learnt about Robert up until now.

He broke the sustained eye contact they were both well aware was happening, turning his head to the side and groaning as Robert used his newly regained concentration to push back on Aaron’s leg further and stretch his cramped muscle out further.

Aaron’s groans subsided as the stretch Robert was encouraging worked its magic, and Robert responded to Aaron’s diminishing leg pain by nimbly rolling Aaron’s long socks back down his calf towards his ankle; ripping the Velcro on his shin-pads and casting them aside; before taking his hands and slowly massaging down the sides of Aaron’s leg.

Aaron let his head lie back on the ground, silent now apart from his own heavy breathing as he felt the lactic acid dissipate to relieve the pain from his cramp. He felt Robert use the heel of his hand to apply pressure up and down his calf, massaging away just as any other coach would do, and just as Aaron had had done to him with perfect innocence hundreds of times in his footballing career.

And yet, he couldn’t help but feel that Robert’s hands on him felt so much more _intense_ than any pitch-side treatment he’d encountered before.

Aaron opened his eyes, slowly tilting his head forwards to lock his gaze onto Roberts again, to find them still staring straight back into his own baby blues.

Robert held his gaze for a second, before looking down to concentrate on the leg he continued to massage. Aaron noticed how Robert’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed down hard, and with the gentlest of movements he felt Robert’s hand massage its way down his calf again; this time his fingertips brushing the back of his thigh, lower than they had ventured before.

Aaron caught his breath in his throat.

He watched Roberts gaze, still focused on Aaron’s leg as he worked his nimble fingers along it – and watched intently as Robert’s expression seemed to cloud over with something Aaron couldn’t quite pinpoint  - and certainly couldn’t reconcile with the man who’d made him feel so small the night before, as he’d sat at a table with his fiancée.

Fingertips traced slightly further down the back of Aaron’s thigh as Robert took his thumbs over the bridge of Aaron’s knee and kneaded his thigh muscle gently, and only then did Robert dare to look down and meet the wanton gaze of Aaron who stared back at him.

It was as if he was asking for Aaron’s permission.

Aaron wasn’t sure yet what it was permission for; but he was pretty sure he would give it to him, whatever it was.

The silence between the two of them was palpable.

Robert’s hands stopped their gentle caress as his breathing started to quicken, eyes fixed solely on those of the man beneath him, and Aaron felt a rousing in his boxers than he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hide from Robert.

He couldn’t find it in himself to care though.

He was sure Robert was feeling it too.

Aaron felt the withdrawal of contact as Robert placed his leg back down on the floor. He prepared himself for the awkward silence, but was surprised when Robert looked him in the eye and beckoned him to raise his right leg into Robert’s hand.

He hesitated, before obliging.

Robert rolled down the long sock covering his calf again, taking off his other shin-pad, using those tantalizing fingers once more to knead his magic into Aaron’s skin.

Aaron’s breathing became more noticeable – quicker – something resembling desire clouding over his features.

He definitely wasn’t getting his wires crossed here. Robert had no need to balance out his massaging skills over both of his legs. He _wanted_ to do so. _Wanted_ to touch him, and to cause the rush of fire that was igniting underneath Aaron’s skin.

The look in Robert’s eyes told him all of that.

Aaron was sure he wasn’t misreading any signals anymore, and he couldn’t hide the lopsided smile which threatened to expose itself to the man looking down on him, mirroring it precisely.

“Robert, darling,” Chrissie called from the changing room entrance a few metres away from where they were, locked into their own world for the merest of moments.

The sound of his fiancée’s voice pulled Robert from whatever stupor he had been drawn into, dropping Aaron’s leg to the floor instinctively as he turned to wave to Chrissie, calling out that he’d be over in a second. Aaron groaned as his ankle hit the floor – unsure why he hadn’t expected Robert to react exactly as he had done – and Robert turned around apologetically as soon as he heard Aaron protest.

“Shit, sorry,” Robert said as he turned back towards him, offering a conciliatory smile in response to Aaron’s dismissive frown. “Sorry, I didn’t, erm, sorry,” Robert finished off clumsily, holding out his hand to help Aaron up off the floor.

Their eyes met again briefly, but the lust had been replaced now with an air of awkwardness as they both stood aware of the fact that Chrissie was making her way towards them, both slowly becoming more aware of the possible implications of the silent admission they seemed to have made towards one another in their brief stolen moment.

“Whatever,” Aaron replied, leaning down to collect together the training cones he had been using, and walking away from Robert as he followed the trail of cones towards the far side of the pitch.

Robert stood for a second, unsure of himself all of a sudden, before Chrissie called out to him and he turned to make his way over to his doting fiancée.

“See you tomorrow,” he called back to Aaron, not even getting as much as a grunt or a nod in acknowledgement.

-s-

Later on that evening, as Aaron felt the healing powers of warm water cascading over him in the shower, washing the day away, he thought back to the way Robert had looked at him during their exchange; at the way he had touched him; at the way he had brazenly beckoned him to give him the slight indication of his desire as he needlessly repeated the massage on his second leg. He could still feel those soft, gentle fingertips trailing down the back of his thigh, and he was sure then that he had discovered something about his new boss that he doubted many others knew.

He may have found it hard to reconcile with the man who had doted over his female fiancée across the table from him at dinner the night before; the man who had quipped mildly homophobic remarks at everything Aaron had said or done during the meal. But he was in little doubt of the promise written all over Robert’s expression as he’d nimbly worked his fingers over him on that training pitch.

The hot heat was rousing something inside of Aaron, and he took himself in his hand as he showered, stroking lazily at first, unsure whether he should be submitting to this state with the thought of Robert Sugden – his new manager – at the forefront of his mind. But before long, the image of his new boss’s dirty blue eyes staring down at him earlier that day had him working himself harder, picking up rhythm as he imagined himself running his hands through Robert’s ash blond hair, dragging his hands over the barely-there definition of his heaving torso and letting his tongue explore the confines of the older man’s jawline, then his neck, then the dip in his collarbone, before travelling over his nipples, grazing his teeth over the sensitive spot and feeling his own body twitching in response to the sounds his movements evoked from the man in his dreams. He thought about the complexity of Robert’s freckles, and the time he could spend kissing each and every single one of them, on his face and his body. He thought about his lips and how they would kiss him, and how they would make their way down Aaron’s defined body, tongue dragging through every dip and groove of his skin, before reaching the place Aaron wanted him the most.

And the mere thought of it was too much.

Too much for Aaron to handle.

He felt the need of his body demand the increase in his pace as he worked himself up; image of Robert at the forefront of his mind; escalating quickly until he was spent; undone.

Coming apart at the scenes for Robert; in every sense of the word.

He let himself fall back against the slippery, wet tiles on the wall of the shower cubicle, breathing heavily, blinking back the droplets of water that trailed down over his eyelashes.

A part of him felt instant regret that he would struggle to look Robert in the eye at training the next day, after what he’d just allowed himself to do.

The rest of him couldn’t ignore the spark of anticipation that flickered in the pit of his stomach; the way he allowed such an unfamiliar feeling as hope to bring a smile to his bitten lips; and the breath that caught in his throat as the thought of Robert’s touch against his body clouded his mind.

He didn’t know if he’d imagined all of it, doubting whether he’d been too eager to read something into the way the blond Adonis had looked at him earlier.

He pretty sure he hadn’t, though.

And one thing was for sure – he couldn’t wait to see Robert tomorrow.


	4. Chapter Four - Match Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some references to homophobia in this chapter.  
> Also as it's Aaron's first game since his coming out, this is a little football-heavy, so apologies if you're not into that - the rest of the story will not contain this much football.

**Chapter 4 – Matchday**

It wasn’t like Aaron to get a lie in on a match day, but for some reason unbeknown to him he seemed able to sleep a little easier last night than he had done in a few days, and seeing as the kick off had been moved back from 3pm to 5.30pm for the live TV broadcast, he decided he was going to take full advantage of having a little more time to himself this morning.

He was resting in that serene, midway stage between being asleep and wakening, aware from the clock on his bedside table that he still had some dozing time left, and his subconscious started to feed him through snippets from his dreams.

His first realisation was that Robert was involved in whatever his imagination had dreamt up whilst he’d slept, and the thought of the blond man left a little smile on his dozing visage. There were bits of memories seeping through piecemeal – none of them connecting together to make any sense, much like dreams rarely do – but he couldn’t mistake the emotions he’d felt throughout.

Happiness.

He’d felt happy, in whatever story his dreams had read to him as he’d slept.

And it was something Aaron Dingle wasn’t exactly accustomed to.

He rolled over onto his back, stretching out in his large double bed, yawning widely, and glancing to the other side of his bed. He didn’t know why – it had been a _long_ time since he’d had another body next to him, and almost as long since he’d even noticed the right side of his bed was empty – but something about Robert’s image buzzing through his sleep drenched state had made him realise how much he could do with a warm body next to his this morning.

And exactly what he’d be doing if Robert was in his bed with him.

“Bro, you decent?”

Aaron jumped at the sound of Adam’s voice directly outside his room, his question immediately followed by the door swinging open – Aaron’s housemate doing his usual and not waiting for an answer, knowing there would be no way Aaron would have anything to hide from him behind his closed bedroom door.

“Come on, sleepy,” Adam teased as he launched himself onto the bed beside Aaron, lying fully clothed above the sheets on his back, next to Aaron, in the space that Aaron had just been imagining Robert occupying.

Aaron grunted and rubbed his eyes gently with his knuckles.

“Thought for a minute you weren’t here, you never sleep in anymore,” Adam teased him, his usual matchday buzz clearly present. “And then I thought, well where would he have gone exactly? It’s Aaron, he’s not gonna have been out socialising without his best mate, is he? And it’s not like he’d have had a date or anything!”

Aaron sighed.

Adam loved to tease him about his complete lack of a love life.

“What are you on about, you muppet?” he said as he shook his head. It was too early for Adam’s level of _awake-ness_ and if there was one time of day Aaron wished his best mate would shut up, it was first thing in the morning.

He managed to put up with Adam’s incessant banter for a few more minutes, before he was telling him to clear off to allow him to get out of bed and get dressed without exposing himself. Adam laughed and left his best mate to it, buoyed by the fact that he seemed to be back to acting his usual self this morning after his performance in training the previous day. He knew Aaron would be thinking about the game this evening – about the reactions of the fans, and the opposition, and the media’s relentless interest in who he shared his bed with – but he was hopeful that Aaron would be able to handle whatever happened by doing his talking on the pitch.

Aaron made his way downstairs and sat down, waiting for Adam to make them their usual high protein pre-match breakfast of a three-egg ham omelette in their extensive, modern kitchen; prepping the ham on the black marble worktop on the kitchen island in the middle of the large room, before focusing back on the range cooker where their eggs bubbled away. As a new build house, everything had been pristine when they’d moved in 3 years ago, and the cleaner they paid for on a weekly basis managed to keep things fairly spotless.

Aaron sat on the stool of the breakfast bar, which divided the room between the kitchen Adam was working away in, and the pool table which lay behind where Aaron sat. He swirled around on his chair, before deciding to use his phone to occupy his thoughts. He let Adam chatter away to himself as he cooked, but felt he didn’t have the energy to entertain him.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it; he was nervous. A few days ago he’d made a pretty huge admission to the world of football, and at 5.30 this evening he would be stepping out to the crowd of 50,000 fans, in front of Sky TV cameras, to be completely at their mercy for 90 minutes.

He had no idea how they were going to react. He was expecting to hear the odd comment – to pick up on the words of a bigot echoing through the stands from the side-lines during a quiet moment, or perhaps to see the odd banner with something written – vaguely disguised as banter but without fooling anybody. He expected the 3,000 away fans to have something to say, too, with Aaron offering himself as an easy target in this environment where supporters would be searching for any reason to have a go.

He was prepared for that, and as much as he knew he shouldn’t have to, he was prepared to deal with it, knowing full well it came with the territory of being the first footballer to come forward and be honest with the press.

What he really couldn’t handle, though, would be to hear the 50,000 home fans – who had sung his name and worshipped him as a hero for years – to turn on him. That would break his heart.

He had to get his mind off it, and there was only one other thing occupying his mind at the moment.

He took his phone out, and decided he needed to find out more about his new boss.

He tapped on Google and typed in _Robert Su-_

Google search bar finished his sentence for him, and he tapped on the first link to appear – his Wikipedia.

He scrolled down, past the _Career_ and _Controversy_ tabs, tapping to expand the _Personal_ section.

_Robert Sugden was born 22 nd April, 1986 in Leeds, Yorkshire, UK. His father was the late Hotten Rovers manager, Jock Sugden, who Robert notes as his mentor in his training to becoming a Premier League manager. His birth mother, Pat Sugden, passed away when he was a baby, and he was raised by his step-mother, Sarah Sugden. He has two siblings – Andrew Sugden, and Victoria Sugden._

_Shortly after his appointment to manager at Dales United, it was confirmed that Robert is engaged to Chrissie White, the daughter of Dales United CEO Lawrence White. They are expected to marry in the summer._

Aaron grimaced involuntarily, scrolling back up to expand the sections he’d scrolled past before. He read about Robert’s youth footballing career, which seemed to – unsurprisingly – blossom at Hotten Rovers whilst his dad was in charge there. He was selected for the first team at 17, giving away a penalty on his debut, but continuing to make 87 appearance for the side between then and his 22nd birthday, during which time he was also called up to the England squad for a friendly against Sweden, although he never made it onto the pitch. His career had ended suddenly when he was 22, after he managed to make an enemy of a member of the Millwall midfield during a night match in the cup, and he’d found himself stretchered off with a shattered tibia. Since then he’d seemed to focus on recovery, and then gaining his coaching badges, and training under the watchful eye of his father until his passing the previous year.

Aaron savoured the information, but realised it wasn’t telling him what he really wanted to know.

Was Robert Sugden interested in men?

He doubted Google was really going to tell him – sure he would have heard about it by now if that had been the case, and common knowledge.

He tapped back on his phone, and selected _Images_ from the options bar on Google.

He was met with the same picture from his Wikipedia page firstly, unable to avoid those blue eyes staring back at him from his 4” phone screen, and smiling as he was able to pick out the slight outline of the freckles that he’d only really first noticed when Robert had been massaging some sort of admission into this thighs in training the previous day.

He gulped at the memory, his skin tingling slightly at the thought of Robert’s nimble fingers working into him, his lungs suddenly feeling the need to grasp for air as he exhaled deeply.

He scrolled through the images – a selected of him stood at the training field this past week; shots from the press conference where he was unveiled as the new manager; screengrabs of the injury that ended his footballing career – those kinds of images you couldn’t look at for too long before you felt queasy. There was the odd paparazzi shot of him striding along in the same blue suit he’d worn at the meal the other day, but Aaron could tell it wasn’t taken then as Chrissie was on his arm wearing an entirely different outfit. There was one picture of the four of them through the window of the restaurant – Aaron noticing the way he was looking at Robert in the picture with what must have been intrigue, and he realised it must have been taken before Robert had got too insulting.

He scrolled further, hoping to see something that would give him a clue as to whether he was imagining what Robert has suggested to him without verbalising it the day before. Pictures of him as a youth team player; pictures of him stood with his father on the touch line at Hotten Rovers; and a lone one of him by a poolside on holiday, which Aaron clicked on without thinking about it. It wasn’t the clearest angle, but Aaron swallowed down at the sight of Robert in his plain black swimming shorts, biting his lip as his eyes traced over the slightly-defined torso, his fair skin reddened by the sun, his smooth body seemingly bereft of hair, just as Aaron liked it.

He took a sharp intake of breath and quickly hit the back button, stopping himself before his thoughts wandered too far.

He almost clicked back out of Google completely and put an end to his uncharacteristic stalking session, but another photo caught his eye.

He tapped it, and with the image enlarged he realised he had seen correctly.

To another eye, it would be insignificant. But Aaron knew better.

It was a paparazzi picture which looked like it was taken outside of a bar, focusing on Robert in conversation with another man inside the bar, smile filling the bottom half of his face, an otherwise innocent hand placed against the other man’s shoulder.

But Aaron knew the other man, and he felt like he knew that smile on Robert’s face too.

Connor Jensen.

England’s number 10; top goal scorer for the nation in the previous year’s European Championships.

The world didn’t know about Connor, but Aaron did.

Aaron had caught Connor’s eye on their first England training session, and he’d made a beeline for the brunette during the squad downtime. He came on pretty strong, and Aaron was left in no doubt that Connor shared the same sexual persuasion as himself.

He didn’t go there, though – he wouldn’t have touched another footballer, all too aware of their reputation and their inability to remain faithful, especially those who may have been repressing their sexuality.

He’d let him down gently, and they’d stayed on amiable grounds, although they rarely saw much of each other unless it was an international break, or if Dales United were playing against the London club that Connor played for.

With very little investigation, Aaron found out that Connor had had a brief loan spell at Hotton Rovers during Robert’s time as a player, and Aaron felt an inexplicable stab of jealousy scratch away at the pit of his stomach.

He briefly returned to the photo, realising that Robert looked much older than 22 in the bar, frowning as he wondered whether there had been something going on between the two of them for years.

His phone flashed, and the notification bar along the top dropped down a new WhatsApp message from an unknown number. He clicked on it straight away.

_Hi, it’s Robert. How are you feeling about today?_

Aaron’s heartbeat increased, and he had a mild panic, not knowing how to reply to the man he’d spent the last 10 minutes stalking online, and who he was sure he’d just found out his secret.

He saw underneath Robert’s name on the message that it said he was _online_ , and Aaron knew full well that Robert would have seen the two blue ticks on his message telling him that Aaron had read his message.

“Fill. Your. Boots!”

Adam placed Aaron’s breakfast omelette down in front of him, looking pleased with himself and his creation as per usual, not realising how Aaron seemed to put his phone away quickly, panicking as if he was trying to hide something.

He would have to reply to Robert later.

-s-

Aaron had been agonising about Robert’s message since he’d read it, wanting to reply to him, but he’d been unable to shake off Adam’s presence next to him for the remainder of the morning, and now he found himself on his way to training in Adam’s matte black Range Rover, all tinted windows and heated seats and his **B4 RTN** personalised plate.

Before he knew it, Aaron was in amongst the rest of the team in the back rooms of the Dales United stadium. It was standard routine before each match – arrive 4 hours before kick-off for a team lunch (always the same slow-releasing carbs involving some combination of chicken and pasta); followed by a team talk by the manager and a discussion of last minute tactics; followed by warm up and training; then getting changed into kits before walking out to the fans and kick off.

Aaron felt a light squeeze on his arm as he stood in the queue for his chicken and pasta, looking to see Robert asking for a word.

“You OK?” he asked, seemingly genuinely concerned for his wellbeing.

Aaron felt himself smile without wanting to make it too obvious.

“Yeah,” he replied, coming over a little sheepish. “Thanks for the text –”

“You did get it then?” Robert asked, but Aaron could tell in his expression he wasn’t annoyed.

It occurred to Aaron that Robert probably still didn’t know if he was back in Aaron’s good books or not following the meal; he couldn’t possible have any way of knowing that his actions on the training pitch the day before had managed to blur out most of the anger Aaron had felt towards him following the meal, replacing it with something else entirely.

“Yeah, sorry,” Aaron admitted, “You caught me just as Adam put my breakfast down, haven’t had chance to reply since.”

Robert nodded, content with that reply. He’d feared Aaron had reverted to ignoring him and being annoyed with him.

“I just wanted to say that I’m starting you, for the game. Obviously.”

Aaron nodded. He didn’t think it was arrogant of him to have assumed that would be the case. He was the top goal scorer for Dales, after all.

“I just, after yesterday, and the press…” Robert trailed off, not wanting to address the way they hadn’t exactly got off on the right foot. “You’re clearly still first choice.”

Robert smiled at him then, and Aaron found himself wishing it wasn’t the team sheet Robert was talking about.

“If it gets too much, let me know, yeah?”

Aaron nodded, and Robert went to walk away before Aaron called him back.

“Um. You ok?” Aaron asked, lowering his voice for some unknown reason.

Robert looked back at him with confusion.

“First game, and that?” Aaron clarified.

Robert was avoiding giving it much thought, but he couldn’t help but smile at Aaron, touched that despite everything that must have been running around the brunette lad’s head, he had still managed to think about how Robert was feeling.

“Yeah, I’m good, thanks,” Robert smiled at him, hoping it didn’t betray the nerves underlying his calm exterior. “You’re gonna score the winner anyway, aren’t you?”

Aaron let out a breathy laugh and smiled, rolling his eyes.

“That’s the plan,” he replied mischievously.

Robert smiled in return, placing a hand on Aaron’s arm in a gesture of support as he backed away, almost clattering into one of the catering team, which draw another laugh from Aaron.

He had no idea why, but he suddenly felt an air of calm overtake the panic that had been setting in about facing the crowd during the game as he returned to the line for his lunch.

-s-

A few hours later, Aaron found himself sat in the changing rooms, fully kitted up, watching the clock on the wall as the minute hand ticked closer to kick off.

5.20pm.

10 minutes to go.

He was rocking without realising, his leg hammering up and down instinctively, jaw clenching as he tried to get himself into the zone.

He could hear the crowds in the stands already – as was usual on matchday – but this time, Aaron seemed to be taking so much more notice of their presence.

He felt a succession of supportive hands on his shoulder from his teammates, clearly having noticed his growing unease.

Robert walked into the dressing room – eyes immediately on Aaron before any other player – and the team took their cue to sit on the benches around the sides of the dressing room.

Aaron concentrated on every word Robert spoke – about how they needed to be ready for the fight because their opposition were willing to play dirty; who their danger players were and who needed to be man-marked to within an inch of their life; who was good in the air and who was most likely to skin you on the wing.

He nodded along, listening to his breathing pattern, reminding himself to keep it steady and to keep his breaths deep; attempting to control the palpitations of his heart as his nervous anxiety increased.

He thought Robert was finished – had given them all of the tactics – but his eyes met Aaron’s across the room and Aaron knew he was about to say something about him.

He clenched his jaw.

He hated the attention being drawn to him; especially when he was trying so desperately to act like this was just any normal game.

“Last thing,” Robert started, ignoring Aaron’s warning glare. “We need to make sure we pull together as a team today. You have to show solidarity. There will be players out there who will be looking to make a name for themselves. The fans will be on your backs. On Aaron’s back,”

He paused, swallowing, realising Aaron was hating every second of this but realising he didn’t care, and he needed his team to hear what he had to say.

“Don’t let them get inside your head. Don’t let them win. Show them what you can do – show them why you deserve to be starting up front for this team. Do your talking _on the pitch_. Silence them – all of you – and Aaron. Grit your teeth, and get through it. And most importantly…WIN the bloody game! Yes?”

A few of the lads jumped up, clapping their hands together, a chorus of _Yes,_ and _Come on,_ and _Get in there_ , and _Let’s smash ‘em_ echoing around the room as they pumped themselves up.

And with that, they walked out of the changing room, lining up in the tunnel, ready to walk out onto the pitch.

Aaron’s face turned to stone as he set his focus dead ahead, ignoring the commotion around him in the tunnel, blurring out the sounds of the opposition team’s studded boots as they clattered down the concrete flooring of the tunnel to line up beside them.

He felt Pete Barton’s hands on his shoulders from where he lined up behind him, bringing him into focus as he realised the teams were walking out onto the pitch, and he felt grateful that Pete left his hands on him as they made their way out onto the pitch, facing the 50,000 strong crowd in the amphitheatre of the stadium with the support of his team-mate visible for the whole world to see. He flashed him a thankful smile as they lined up in front of the home supporters.

The club’s usual fanfare music was playing; stadium announcer reading out the team-sheet, Aaron not oblivious to the feint sound of wolf-whistling around the stadium as his own name was announced.

That was fine; he could handle that. He’d been expecting that.

He knew they’d get bored of that.

The club’s anthem blared out of the speakers around the ground – _Jeff Beck, Hi, Ho, Silver Lining –_ with the music turned down for the title line of the song for the fans to outstretch their arms and replace with their alternative lyrics – _Hi, Ho, Dales United_ – as per every other week.

There was an official introduction for Robert from the stadium announcer – subdued applause from the crowd rippling through the stands as Robert stood a few metres into the pitch and raised his hands above his head to clap the supporters in all four corners of the ground.

It was the same with every new manager – the fans wouldn’t accept you fully until you gave them a real reason to do so – and Robert knew he was doing OK as long as he wasn’t getting boo’s. Which he didn’t, for now.

The players were dispersing around the pitch into their starting positions, Aaron and Adam stood feet apart over the ball in the centre circle ready to kick off.

Aaron looked up at Adam, finding comfort in his longest friend being right beside him.

“Let’s do this,” Adam mouthed to him defiantly.

Aaron nodded, waiting for the referee’s whistle before kicking off the game.

It took all of 8 seconds for the first chant to ripple it’s way around the stadium, and Aaron felt his insides swell at the sound of it, almost choking him up inside.

It was so recognisable to him.

He’d heard it every week, for years.

_“There’s only one Aaron Dingle._

_One Aaron Diiiiiiiiingle._

_There’s only one Aaron Dingle.”_

It continued in a round of 3 or 4 solid verses – admittedly a little quieter than it had been at the previous match, but Aaron found himself having to bite the inside of his gums to stop himself from welling up with tears of appreciation.

He took a fleeting moment to acknowledge it, raising his hands above his head to aim a quick clap towards each stand.

It was seconds later though that there was a chorus of wolf-whistles from the away end, and Aaron knew that was his cue to keep his focus solely on the game, and to try and blur out any further chants from either set of supporters.

He got himself stuck in, chasing down every ball, a higher determination to prove himself than he’d ever felt before. He could hear a few murmurs from the crowd – the away end attempting a chorus of _Does your boyfriend know you’re here,_ followed by _We can see you holding hands,_ although the boo’s aimed towards those fans from the home supporters drowned out the volume of their homophobia.

He went to take a corner in front of the away fans, and he could hear individual hecklers stream torrents of abuse towards him – some met with chuckles from the young-and-eager-to-impress hooligans-in-waiting that surrounded the bigots; others met with disapproving looks from the silent-but-unwilling-to-speak-out majority.

Thirty minutes in, and Aaron had found himself settled into the game; his frustration at the crowd’s increasingly frequent bouts of abuse – albeit restricted to the minority of fans – starting to weigh heavy on his shoulders.

He could hear their words – could sense that the focus of everything was on his actions – could imagine how the TV pundits would be discussing it in their commentary and analysing his play at half time to see if his personal life was affecting the game.

He hated being talked about; hated the attention.

He could sense that he was becoming a target – had found himself being tackled more than any of his team-mates, clearly the opposition having been advised to target him, in the hope that his mind would be elsewhere, and they might be able to get him to react and get sent off.

He was determined he wouldn’t let it happen, but with each new tackle he felt more and more victimised, and his patience was wearing thin.

He heard his teammates words of support – checking he was OK when each new chant rippled through the away end – or helping him back onto his feet in a show of support after each tackle, and he appreciated it.

But it didn’t stop the tackles from coming, or the away fans from cheering each time he was brought down.

He needed to stop them.

And he needed to shut the crowd up.

He needed to score– had been desperate for it with every ball snaked through to him, and every free kick gifted to his team on the corner of the box.

His focus remained on the ball at all times, and he saw Adam feed him through a dream ball over the top of their midfield, finding Aaron’s path to pinpoint perfection. He was surging forwards to continue his run towards the goal – sure he could get this ball in the net – when he felt the sharp pain of studs against his knee, tumbling to the ground, feet failing beneath him, groaning with the pain as his body slammed into the ground.

He looked down to his knee – already seeping with blood over the white shorts of the Dales United kit – and he looked across to the opposition player in blue who had struck him down intentionally.

He recognised him – McFarlane, or something – and he knew he had a reputation as a nasty piece of work.

“What the fuck?” Aaron shouted to him, shrugging up his shoulders.

The home crowd were roaring in outrage, but Aaron wasn’t oblivious to the cheers from the away crowd, interspersed with wolf whistles yet again.

The referee had blown his whistle and was making his way towards Aaron and his assailant, along with the other team members.

McFarlane stretched a hand out to help Aaron up, which Aaron knocked away defiantly in protest at the clearly intentional dangerous tackle.

“Queer,” McFarlane muttered under his breath, fulling intending for Aaron to hear him.

Aaron jumped to his feet, ignoring the pulsating pain in his left hip and knee, hands outstretched as he lunged towards McFarlane, shoving him forcefully.

“Say that again,” Aaron seethed, threatening.

The crowd erupted – an indecipherable mixture of cheers and jeers and wolf-whistles – and Aaron felt hands on his chest, pulling him away from his newly found nemesis to stop him doing anything to get himself sent off as players from both teams surrounded each other, hands in chests and the heated exchange of insults, pointed fingers in faces before the referee intervened and separated the teams, deciding to take no action for fear of exacerbating things, fully aware of the background behind each of the players on the pitch.

The players walked away from each other, getting themselves in position for the following free kick, Aaron’s frustration growing when the ball was easily cleared by their defence and the match remained goalless.

He was so desperate to get one over on them, especially now.

It was nearing 45 minutes, and the fourth official indicated 1 added minute before half time. Aaron kept out of anybody’s way, counting down the time until the whistle and storming down the tunnel as soon as he heard it.

Robert immediately followed behind Aaron, having watched him intently throughout every second of the game – smiling as the fans had got behind him in the first few minutes; then wincing with each tackle that he’d suffered; and biting down on his lip every time the murmurings of the bigots in the crowd became audible over the home fan’s chants for their team. He followed his path through the tunnel – water bottles flying down the end of the corridor in his wake as he’d kicked them on his way past – and through the changing rooms, finding him alone in the physio room, palms gripping onto the seams of the leather on the physio chair, head dipped down, breathing deeply as if to manage his frustration.

“Aaron,” Robert said to get his attention.

He stood behind him, unsure whether he should have been reaching out to place a hand against his back.

He didn’t; moving to stand to the side of him instead so he could see his face.

“Aaron,” he repeated, louder.

Aaron glanced up to look at him, and Robert couldn’t stop his stomach from flipping over at the look of distress on Aaron’s face.

He looked ready to snap; or break.

Robert wasn’t sure which.

He acted instinctively, needing to get through to him.

He grabbed Aaron’s hand placed closest to him, pulling onto it so that Aaron had to turn to face him, and he brought his own hands up to Aaron’s face, forcing the younger man to focus on him as he held his head in his hands, palms cupping his strong jawline, stubble prickling his hands, fingers trailing down along his hairline.

“Aaron, listen to me,” Robert ordered, bringing his face within inches of Aaron’s, moving so that Aaron couldn’t avoid his eye contact.

God his blue eyes were beautiful.

He exhaled, and could feel Aaron’s breath against his skin, too.

“Aaron, you are better than them,” Robert reassured him. “If you want me to take you off, I’ll take you –”

“I don’t want you to take me off,” Aaron asserted without hesitation.

“Good. I’ll make a change and get Ed on to block that dick that keeps laying into you, pave the way for you get through on goal, okay? And you go back out there and you show them what you’re capable of, okay? And you shut those wankers up in that crowd, okay?”

The words were tumbling out of him, and Aaron was listening, nodding with each of his commands, jaw clenching repeatedly so that Robert could feel the pulsing of it from the angular point at the back of his jaw where his hands held onto Aaron’s face.

Robert blinked.

His mouth was watering, and his breathing was getting shorter; sharper; and all he could feel was an inexplicable pull towards the man in front of him; the man who was so close he could feel his ragged breath on his lips with each exhale.

There was a bang against the door, as if something had been thrown against it, and Robert took a step back on instinct, dropping his hands back down to his sides.

“Take five minutes,” Robert ordered, waiting for Aaron’s nod in return before he opened the door and made his way out to the rest of his team waiting in the changing room.

There was a mixture of frustration and deflation amongst his players.

“Right, Ed, you’re coming on for Danny – make sure you block that idiot that keeps going for Aaron,”

“Yes, boss, just get me out there” Ed replied in a heartbeat.

“Ross,” Robert continued, hesitant, before he realised they needed to give as good as they got. “Give them fucking hell – show them if they wanna play dirty, we can play dirty too.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Ross nodded.

“Just **don’t** get yourself sent off,” Robert added. “The rest of you, we need this win. This is bigger than football, now, this is about sending out a message, about shutting up those bigots in the crowd and letting football have the last say. Are you with me?”

Their consensus was vocalised in a manner of forms, but it was undeniably consensus – the whole team wanted to get back out and show what a team looked like.

-s-

Robert’s second half tactics seemed to be working, and 20 minutes in, Ed and Ross had managed to put paid to the constant stream of tackles against Aaron. They were playing well – attacking at every given opportunity, their advances causing the crowd to focus more on backing their team, rather than singling Aaron out.

It wasn’t a complete overhaul, but it was definitely better than the first half.

And Aaron knew he needed to capitalise on his renewed determination.

The clock was on 77 minutes when Aaron found himself charging forwards, stepping over the ball twice; three times; to get past their left back as he advanced towards their penalty box. He glanced up, saw Adam had snaked his way inside the box, and he instinctively crossed the ball into Adam’s path. It caught his head with perfect precision; Adam connecting with the ball and directing it safely into the back of the net.

1 - 0 Dales United.

Aaron stood still on the spot where he’d crossed the ball. He could hear the crowd erupting all around him, celebrating their goal, and Adam was advancing towards him, arms outstretched, grin spreading wider as it covered the bottom half of his face.

Aaron didn’t feel much like celebrating.

He just felt relief.

Adam reached him, jumping up and wrapping his arms around him, wrapping his legs around him for a brief moment in a standard show of elation. Aaron held him, feeling the rest of the team crowding around them, joining in on their celebrations.

Aaron stood in the middle of the team hug, hearing the stadium announcer reporting Adam as the goal scorer, and the crowd renewing their cheers yet again, but he still felt nothing besides a sense of calm taking over him.

The team dispersed away, Adam dropping himself back down to the ground, and grabbed Aaron’s face in his hands – the second person to do that to him today – cheering in Aaron’s face as he pulled their foreheads together, drawing a smile to Aaron’s face.

“Get in there, you beauty,” Adam smiled at him, giving him a celebratory kiss on his forehead before running back up the pitch.

Aaron smiled.

He knew exactly what Adam was doing – knew he needed the world to see that he wasn’t going to shy away from being just as tactile with his best mate in his goal celebrations as he’d always been, regardless of Aaron’s public coming out earlier in the week – and he appreciated it.

He knew there had been rumours on some of the less scrupulous gossip sites that Adam and Aaron had been lovers – their only shred of evidence seeming to be that they were seen out together a lot in public, and that they lived together. Said gossip mags often failed to clarify that it was pretty common practice for footballers to live in pairs, especially the younger ones who were more likely to be single, because they usually get assigned shared housing provided by their clubs when they first sign a deal. That had happened with Adam and Aaron, and when they’d started earning a consistent Premier League salary, they’d decided to put together to get a house because they didn’t see the point in splitting up a good team.

Aaron knew Adam had seen the stories, and that he’d had to field questions about it in the press, and he hadn’t taken for granted the fact that not only had Adam not embarrassed him by bringing up the subject, but also that Adam had never once tried to distance himself from Aaron, in or out of the public eye.

He really was an exceptional best friend.

The realisation kept him upbeat for the final ten minutes of the game, during which Dales managed to mainly keep possession, buoyed by the noise of the crowd as they sang their way through the club chants, and the player chants one by one.

There was another round of _Only one Aaron Dingle,_ followed by a full stadium rendition of their version of _Magic_ by _Pilot_ , with their amended lyrics:

_Oh, oh, oh, it’s magic, you knooooow._

_Dingle and Barton score goooaaallssss._

Aaron smiled to himself.

He liked that one.

The full time whistle blew, and Aaron felt his body release its tension somewhat, blood rushing to his head as he started to feel dizzy, leaning himself forwards to touch the ground, bending his knees to steady himself as he took in deep gulps of air to recirculate the oxygen into his bloodstream.

His team mates passed him, patting him on the back, and when Adam came over he held out his hand, pulling him up to his feet again and into a strong, brotherly embrace. Opposition team members approached him individually, shaking hands in the common post-match display of sportsmanship; although Aaron realised a couple of their players didn’t feel the need to approach him and offer him their hand.

He ignored it, though – he didn’t need their respect. He had all that he needed.

And the crowd had been manageable.

He felt positive.

He felt like he could cope with this, and the realisation brought with it further relief.

He wasn’t quite ready to speak to the nation though, declining the interview with the Sky TV presenters on the pitch, grateful for Pete Barton who stepped in alongside his half-brother Adam to give them their interview.

Aaron listened as they analysed the game and as they questioned them on the conditions in the game, asking if they felt like they had a point to prove today.

“Yeah, we did,” Adam admitted. “You know, we did just wanna come out here and play like every other game, but they made it about more than that when a couple of their players decided to target our Aaron. But, you know, we finished on top, so,” he shrugged, not needing to finish his point.

“I think most of our fans were great,” Pete stepped in, putting his two pence in, “They got behind the whole team – Aaron included – and that’s what we want to see. There were a few things we didn’t want to hear though, and that minority of fans should be ashamed of themselves. This is the place for football, and nothing else, and hopefully they can get used to it, because he ain’t changing.”

Aaron smiled as he listened in, watching as Adam was presented the Man of the Match champagne, the cameras following Adam as he walked away from the interview and handed the bottle straight to Aaron as they walked back down the tunnel.

-s-

Aaron lay in bed, giving himself an early night following the emotional rollercoaster of the day.

He felt a bubbling of pride that he’d managed to get himself through it.

He remembered something which had stuck with him when he’d first come out to his family – _It Gets Better_ – and as much as he’d cringed when he’d first heard it, he often found himself referring back to it to help him through.

And right now, it really felt like that was the way it was going to go.

His phone buzzed on his nightstand.

He looked at the screen – the unknown number again – but now he knew it was Robert.

He smiled.

_Hi, me again. Just wanted to say you should be proud of yourself today. You handled it like a pro. Keep your head up, and it’ll get better. R._

He frowned slightly at the coincidental symmetry in their thoughts; that it would get better.

He decided not to ignore him this time, taking a second to save his number into his contacts before he replied.

_Thanks. And thank you for your chat at half time. It meant a lot._

He took a second to look at Robert’s profile icon – a beautiful selfie shot, clearly taken on a summer’s day with the sun’s rays glistening through his blond hair – slightly longer than it was now – and his blue eyes staring directly down the camera.

Aaron caught his breath, realising he hadn’t had chance to congratulate Robert on his win in his first game.

_Congrats, btw, on the win. Hope we keep on winning!_

He cringed, both at his double text and at the embarrassing way he’d ended the text like a 13 year old teenager.

Robert’s reply was almost immediate.

_Thanks. We make a good team, I reckon. Night Aaron x_

Aaron placed his phone back on charge on the nightstand and let himself sink into his sheets; drifting off to sleep thinking about whether Robert had intended that goodnight kiss in his text message or not.

He really hoped he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters seem to be getting longer and longer - sorry for that!  
> If you're on tumblr please come and say hi or just flail about Robron with me - wellyfullofale


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone for the kudos/comments. It honestly means so much :)

**Chapter 5**

 

Robert woke up the day after the game and immediately checked his phone – a list of emails and a voicemail from Lawrence, but nothing from the one person he wanted to see flash up on his phone screen.

He doubted Aaron would be up yet, anyway.

He quickly flicked through the list of emails – invites to interviews or to comment on winning in his first game as _Dales_ manager, and he felt the flash of relief drain through him as the memory of the win the previous day came back to him.

It wasn’t going to silence his critics; but it went a lot further at doing so than a loss or even a draw would have done.

He flicked through the emails, making a mental note of which ones he would reply to and which he would ignore, when one in the list caught his eye – an invite from one of the Sunday papers to do a joint interview and photoshoot with himself and Aaron – _Dales Most Wanted_ – in light of the spike of media attention on both of them in the past week. He pictured how that would go, briefly allowing his mind to wander down a own dangerous pathway; the two of them getting changed together into some cramped dressing room, limbs touching unintentionally; a fashionably obtuse photographer pandering over the pair of them as they sat with each other for hours – all eyes on them, but their own eyes only on each other – laughing as the photographers assistant rearranged them into all sorts of positions before taking each shot.

He laughed to himself.

As if Aaron would ever think of agreeing to something like that.

And he knew Lawrence would never agree to them doing it anyway with his inherent dislike of any unnecessary media presence around the club.

He made a mental note to bring the suggestion up in conversation, though, just in case his assumptions about both Aaron and Lawrence were wrong.

He thought back to the game the day before; realising his admiration for the way Aaron had endured being targeted by the opposition players and their fans alike, and how he’d come through it with his head held high.

Aaron had been so strong; so defiant throughout. Didn’t even entertain the thought of being taken off at half time – wanted to fight his battle; win his war – had been almost offended when Robert had suggested letting him run away and hide from what he was being subjected to by being taken off at half time.

He was stronger than Robert had given him credit for.

And Robert liked that about him; certainly.

He didn’t want to think about why he’d been so relieved for the lad when he’d first heard the crowds chanting his name; had felt his breath catch in his throat, as if he’d been _proud_ of him, or something. He didn’t know if he had the right to feel that; but his emotions betrayed his rights, and he felt it regardless.

And then the taunts of their opponents had grown as the match had gone on, and Robert had felt himself becoming more and more irate; had felt their words like a dagger bursting that bubble of pride he’d dared to feel, leaving a fusion of twisted nerves and anger in its place.

He’d watched as Aaron had torn down the wing of the pitch to set up the goal, and Robert’s reaction to the goal – that had been played over on loop on Sky Sports News since the game – had unintentionally been equally for his own achievement as a manager as much as it had been for Aaron.

It was completely unfamiliar; this idea that he would care for anybody else’s happiness above his own, or even alongside it, and if he sat and thought about it for too long he would realise that he didn’t feel all too comfortable about it.

He made a pact with himself that he needed to stop himself from sliding down this slippery slope again. It had been so long since he’d been tempted – in fact, he wasn’t sure he’d ever been _so_ tempted before – but all he had to do was take a look around at what he’d managed to build for himself in the past few years and he hoped it would give him the motivation to stay away from Aaron.

He knew his Dad would be proud of him. Right now, with everything he had before him – the job his father always wanted him to have, following in his own footsteps; the chance of achieving greatness and infamy through his work; and the girl on his arm that left everybody gaping in her wake as she passed.

There was no room for Aaron in any of that.

There couldn’t be.

He sighed as he put his phone down and dragged himself out of bed to get ready for the day.

He didn’t want to acknowledge the cloud of dread forming over him at the realisation that he needed to keep himself away from Aaron Dingle.

He couldn’t ignore the niggling doubt in the pit of his stomach questioning whether it was even possible, either.

 

-s-

 

Aaron was thankful they had training today.

He needed something to occupy his thoughts; something to stop the incessant nagging voice in the back of his mind that wanted him to read the press articles and check his social media accounts and reassure himself the world wasn’t against him.

And he knew that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to go in.

His usual Sunday morning routine after a match on a Saturday was to spend the morning checking through twitter to see the links to news articles about the game; re-watching highlights to see what Gary Lineker and his cronies had thought of this pass or that tackle or a goal, if he’d been lucky enough to score one; responding to fans tweets about how excited they were following a win. He’d read the Sunday papers – him and Adam having arranged for all the nationals to be delivered to their doorstep on a Sunday – and he’d start at the back cover, ignoring whatever political crisis the world had found itself in on the front page and indulging himself in the sports comment only.

He’d marry it all up along with a bacon sandwich and a black coffee, before spending the day chilling in front of the TV or on the Xbox if Adam was around.

He couldn’t do that today, though.

And not just because they’d been called in for extra training.

He couldn’t face what the media had to say about him, and he couldn’t face what the trolls would no doubt be firing in his direction on social media if he’d dared to look. He’d glanced at the back page of one of the Sunday papers as it had rested on the breakfast bar – saw a full page image of himself clapping the fans at the end of the game, with a clear view of a rainbow flag being held up by supporters in the background. He smiled to himself – he had been so preoccupied that he hadn’t noticed it during the game – but it was warming to see there was support for him; and even more so that the press were using the image in a clear attempt to give him the backing he needed.

He still couldn’t face the rest of it, though – the editorial comment about his personal life; or the analysis of his match performance _in the light of_ his personal circumstances; or the albeit infrequent bigoted comment from some ignorant troll that his mind would no doubt spend hours focusing on above and beyond the thousands of messages of support that he supposed he would also receive.

He couldn’t face any of it.

He needed a distraction today.

And so he was thankful that the rarity of a midweek match on Tuesday night meant the players were called in for extra training.

He usually hated having to come in to training on a Sunday after a big game – his muscles never thanked him for it, and he always felt it did more damage than good in not allowing him to recover before the next match – but today, he wanted to.

And, if he could even admit it to himself, it wasn’t just that he wanted to be able to spend the day escaping from the media circus that had surrounded him over that last week and focus on the football; on something that he knew he was good at.

He wanted to see Robert.

He knew it was a bad idea, and he knew there was no hope of anything happening between them seeing as Robert had a fiancée at home waiting for him.

But it didn’t stop him from _wanting_ to see him; to talk to him.

To see that look in his eyes that he wasn’t sure Robert even knew he was giving him.

To feel something like what he’d almost let spark inside of him the other day.

To want to push himself to be in the best form he could be so that Robert could see how good he was.

And so he turned up half an hour early for training that day, and for the following two days as well.

Adam had thought he was mad each time, refusing to part with his bed half an hour earlier in order to get ready on time to leave with Aaron, so he’d driven in by himself for the past three days and hoped to catch a glimpse of Robert before the rest of the team turned up.

He was disappointed each day, though, as Robert seemed nowhere to be seen until the start of training, presumably locked away in some office somewhere dealing with Lawrence or the press or one of the other hundred commitments that surely came with being a manager.

So Aaron had to settle with just their interactions on the training pitch for three days – his presumptions about there being _something_ between them eroding away as each minute passed as he realised Robert was giving him nothing at all. The lingering looks; the eye contact; the special effort to look out for Aaron’s well-being – there had been none of it.

He’d spent the three days feeling a range of emotions – hope; anger; frustration; resentment – but eventually came to the realisation that he must have imagined whatever he thought was lingering between them.

He needed to forget whatever it was about Robert Sugden that had caused this heat to burn through him, ever since they’d met the week before.

He needed to accept the realisation that Robert Sugden was a pipe dream; a fantasy.

That Robert Sugden was not _his_ reality.

However much he knew he really wanted him to be.

 

-s-

 

Robert was finding it increasingly hard to remain focused on anything other than Aaron Dingle.

It had been only three days since he’d lain in bed the morning after the match and made a pact to himself that he wouldn’t jeopardise everything he’d worked to achieve for the sake of giving into a slip of temptation.

He’d told himself it wasn’t worth it.

He’d told himself it would be easy to put an end to that look Aaron had in his eye when he first looked at him in training on Sunday morning after the game.

Damnit.

He’d only known the guy a few days, but Robert felt like he could read him already – could see that his expression towards him in the past week had developed from disinterest to disgust and distrust, and now it seemed to be something else altogether.

Desire, perhaps.

He had to fight it.

He used all of the willpower he could summon over the next three days to avoid any eye contact with the lad; to avoid watching him at the expense of the rest of his team during training; to avoid picking up his phone and texting him to see how he was doing.

He fought the urge to pull him back after training each day with the pretence of checking he was coping, all the while knowing he just wanted to _talk_ to him; to _interact_ with him in some way; to let him know there was something there.

But he couldn’t let himself do it.

He _had_ to fight it.

He’d spoken to him two or three times during training over the past few days – only ever to give him instructions about where he should be positioning himself on the pitch, or how he should aim to cross the ball through to Adam – and he was sure he saw Aaron’s reactions to him change over the three days. Where he’d been almost playful in firing jokes his way on Sunday, he’d been focused with him on Monday, and he’d go so far as saying he was distant with him again on Tuesday, almost to the point of loathing.

Something clouded over in his mind at the thought of having lost whatever it was he’d built with Aaron in those few days before Saturday’s game, but he couldn’t let himself get distracted by him anymore.

_He had to fight it._

But his ability to crush down and attempt to extinguish the reality of his emotions was wearing thin; diminishing minute by minute.

By the time Tuesday’s game came around, Robert felt like he needed to physically restrain himself from going to Aaron and checking up on him; explaining to him exactly why he’d changed towards him; letting him know why he’d realised he needed to stay away from him.

It wouldn’t have been fair – couldn’t imagine Aaron would take it well if he’d explained that _he did feel it too, but he needed to repress it for the sake of his father’s expectations._

He couldn’t imagine it would have gone down well.

So he continued to keep his distance in the run up to the game, avoiding him during the pre-match meal, and referring to him by surname only during the team talk; unable to look Aaron in the eye as he dished out his instructions before the game.

It was more professional, he told himself, and he tried to keep that at the forefront of his mind as he saw Aaron’s distant expression, with the touch of resentment behind his sullen eyes.

It killed him to see Aaron so cold towards him.

It didn’t stop Aaron performing on the pitch, though.

It was almost as if he had a point to prove; as if he needed Robert to see what he was capable of.

The game had been less eventful than the game on Saturday, without the buzz of the TV cameras watching everybody’s every move, and with the opposition this time being a newly promoted team from the South coast who seemed to bring with them sets of families draped in flags, cheeks adorned with cheap face paint in their team colours; in stark contrast to the knuckle duster wielding fans from Saturday’s opposition.

The crowd had sung Aaron’s name again, and their players didn’t have the ability to get anywhere near Aaron, even if they’d wanted to target him, and for a short while on the pitch again – playing the game he fell in love with as a boy – Aaron felt like things were getting back to normal again. Or that they could do, given time.

Dales had won 4-0. Aaron had scored twice – once in each half.

Robert had felt the urge to grab him in celebration at the full time whistle.

He kept his urges suppressed.

He had to.

He’d dealt with the media after the game – the press conference keeping him away from the dressing room and therefore from Aaron – and by the time he went back down to see the players an hour after the full time whistle, there was only Adam and Pete to be seen.

“Alright, boss,” Adam smiled at him, still on a high following their win.

“Hi,” Robert raised his eyebrows, glancing around the room in hope that his eyes would find the short, dark-haired sulk that had occupied his mind for an unhealthy amount of time during the day.

“You the only ones left?” he asked.

Adam nodded at him casually.

“Yeah, bro, who you after?” he replied, questioningly, features forming into a frown.

“Oh no one,” Robert lied. “Just wanted to say well done to you all, but I errr… guess I missed everyone? Press conferences, eh.”

Adam laughed lightly, patting Robert on the shoulder.

“Yeah, boss, you have,” Adam told him with a smile. “Most of them have gone on to that new cocktail bar in town to celebrate the win.”

There was a moment of awkward silence between the three of them as they stood, hands in pockets in the changing room, Adam and Pete exchanging a questioning look between them.

“Join us?” Pete invited warily, as if forced to extend the invitation after Adam had let slip their plans.

Even Robert could sense his reluctance.

He remembered what it was like as a player; knew they probably couldn’t imagine anything worse than having your manager join you for a drink after a game – second only to your parents coming along and cramping your style.

“Thanks, but, I’ll give it a miss,” Robert conceded.

As much as he understood their reluctance, he couldn’t ignore the stab of rejection. Not so many years ago he’d been a player himself, and he still missed every second of the game – post match celebrations included. He didn’t easily make friends, but the team surrounding him made sure he never felt lonely, even if he couldn’t profess to have ever made friends quite like Aaron could with Adam.

He wouldn’t let himself acknowledge it, but he couldn’t help feeling quite alone.

He’d just won his second game as Dales United manager – convincingly, too – but even his own team didn’t really want to celebrate with him.

And he seemed to have successfully pushed away the one person he really wanted to speak to.

He deflected the threat of feelings overclouding him.

He made his way back up to the offices, conceding to spend the next few hours watching footage from the match and analysing the performance of his players in preparation for the next game at the weekend. The players had a day off from training the next day, but he needed to make sure he was ready to prepare them for the game when they returned on Thursday.

Besides, he had nothing else to do, did he?

 

-s-

 

Robert looked at his watch as he sat in his office at the stadium – it was approaching midnight. He was still on his first glass of whiskey, making it last as he knew he had to drive home.

He was replaying the match to try and analyse it, but had only made it so far as Aaron’s first goal at 10 minutes into the game, when he’d paused the screen during Aaron’s goal celebration.

He smiled to himself.

He was so _masculine._

On the paused screen Aaron was making his way towards the crowd to celebrate his goal. He was mid-run, and Robert hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away from the definition of his muscular legs, remembering how they’d felt under his touch as he’d massaged them the other day.

He knew he’d taken it too far, on that training pitch.

But he knew he couldn’t help himself.

And he knew – deep down – he wouldn’t be able to stop himself for much longer.

He looked at Aaron’s face; at the sheer elation emanating from his expression; that beautiful rare smile brightening up the whole of his features; fists clenched in front of him in celebration.

Robert wanted him.

He couldn’t deny it – not when he’d spend the best part of 20 minutes with Aaron’s image paused on the screen in front of him.

Not when he’d used up every ounce of energy over the past three days in trying to avoid giving him any sign of the turmoil churning through his insides at the thought of him.

Not when he wanted nothing more than to make his way to that cocktail bar that Adam had mentioned and drag Aaron straight out the back with him; away from prying eyes.

He wanted him.

And the whiskey he’d just finished was making him weak.

He grabbed his phone, without giving it a second thought.

He’d always been impulsive.

Act first; think later.

Sometimes he thanked himself for it; sometimes he didn’t.

He didn’t know yet which of those categories this text would fall into.

_Well done today. Enjoy your night out. R x_

He sent the text without hesitating.

Hesitation didn’t get you anywhere, after all.

 

-s-

 

Aaron thought he’d imagined it when he saw Robert’s text appear on his phone.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed to him that he’d quadrupled the amount of times he checked his phone over the past few days, always hoping to see that one name.

He thought he must have been imagining it when he finally saw what he’d been checking for relentlessly.

He exhaled after reading it; sure he’d forgotten to breathe for a short second.

He knew the other lads on the team had carried on for a drink, but he’d declined the invitation, still not sure he was quite ready to attract any extra media attention on top of what he was already being subjected to; and certain he didn’t want the press grabbing a hold of some picture of him chatting to another guy and assuming he had a boyfriend or something ridiculous.

He left it a few minutes to reply to Robert; didn’t want him to suspect that Aaron’s heart rate has increased quite as dramatically as it had done.

He typed out his reply, re-reading it and changing the wording of it multiple times before he settled on a reply that he thought sounded just the right balance of _interested_ but _not-too-interested_ all at the same time.

_Thanks. Bet you’re happy too. I’m at home didn’t go out with the lads. Can’t face it yet. X_

He pressed send, before cursing himself for so blatantly leaving a kiss on the end of his message when he remembered he was meant to be keeping some distance between himself and Robert, in response to how Robert had been so distant with him all week.

He waited for the reply, assuming Robert would try to offer him some sort of supportive statement in response.

But nothing came.

Aaron watched the minutes pass by – re-reading the message back and cursing himself for not asking him a question or something to let him know he expected a reply.

That he wanted _more_ than one single, paltry text from him. After three days of nothing, he _needed_ more than that.

He was going out of his mind second guessing every one of Robert’s moves – every look, touch, instruction fired in his direction – and it was draining him.

He wasn’t even sure Robert was worth this self-flagellation

Something told him he was, though.

He wasn’t even sure he would be able to stop it if he tried.

Twenty minutes passed as he lost himself in his battling thoughts, watching the same news stories on loop on Sky Sports News, catching that glimpse of Robert’s smile after Aaron’s goal on the headlines that reported their win that night.

Aaron realised his internal battle would be a lot easier to extinguish if Robert Sugden hadn’t been so beautiful; or if his blue eyes hadn’t been filled with so much promise whenever they dared to look his way.

He exhaled in frustration, closing his eyes and trying to erase the image of Robert looking down on him the other day from his memory.

If he was going to get over this _feeling_ he had for Robert, he needed to forget the way he’d looked at him that day.

Except there was only one thing he wanted to do when he closed his eyes and thought of Robert Sugden, and as he sat on the sofa in their living room, alone, he allowed himself a moment of weakness to give in; to do to himself what he’d done each night this week with the thought of Robert on his mind.

His hand travelled down his body, slipping under the waistband of his tracksuit bottoms and inside his boxers, realising he was hard before he even started. Robert’s face flashed across the TV screen again on the rolling headlines, and he swallowed down hard as he stroked himself – ”

The sound of the doorbell startled him.

He jerked his hand out of his boxers and checked the time.

Who the hell would be ringing his doorbell at 12.27am?

“Robert?” Aaron questioned as soon as his front door swung open.

He couldn’t supress the smile on his face, and he knew Robert saw it.

He hoped Robert knew why it was so wide.

“Um. What you doing here?” Aaron asked.

He was more than a little confused as to why Robert Sugden was stood on his doorstep in the middle of the night; but confusion wasn’t his prominent emotion.

He had just been about to make himself come apart at the seams with the image of Robert in the forefront of his mind, after all.

Robert answered him with a one-sided smile that made Aaron’s heart leap into his mouth as the rest of his insides dropped to the floor.

He had that same look in his eyes that he’d had last Friday.

Only now Robert’s fiancée was nowhere to be seen.

Or at least Aaron hoped she wasn’t.

Robert raised his hand to unveil the bottle of whiskey that he’d been hiding behind his back.

“Wanna share one with me?” he asked breezily, as if there was nothing odd about him turning up on Aaron’s doorstep at this time of night.

Aaron wasn’t oblivious to the way that Robert’s eyes travelled down over his body. He was still wearing his club tracksuit bottoms – black with his initials in white on his left hip – but he’d replaced the club tracksuit with a black round neck t-shirt and a black zip-up hoodie. He couldn’t have been in starker contrast to the suit trousers and jacket that Robert wore; white shirt and blue tie noticeable underneath the navy jumper he wore beneath his suit jacket.

Robert swallowed as he drank in the sight of Aaron before him.

He couldn’t even try to deny how much he wanted him.

“You gonna invite me in, then?” Robert teased, unsure why he was still stood out in the cold.

Aaron huffed out a laugh in reply, unable to stop the smile creeping over his face.

He realised that he could spend hours questioning Robert – wondering why he’d been so cold with him over the past few days, or why he thought it was appropriate to turn up on his doorstep with a bottle of whiskey in the early hours of the morning when they’d hardly gotten to know one another yet – but he knew he didn’t want to.

So he stepped back and opened the door wider, gesturing with his hand to invite Robert in.

 

-s-

 

They were three glasses in (large measures; Robert had poured) and Aaron started to look at Robert in a whole different light. They moved onto discussing the flurry of stories being made to sound a lot more exciting than they were on Sky Sports News; analysing the merits of Liverpool having started an understrength team for the FA cup game in the week. Robert purred about how much he loved the magic of the FA cup, and how much he loved it when the smaller clubs got drawn against the big clubs and got absolutely thrashed.

“What?!” Aaron laughed, incredulous, “I thought you said you loved the magic of the cup, surely that means the underdogs winning _against all odds_ and all that bollocks, not getting put back in their place!”

Robert smirked, biting his lip mischievously.

“You mean like when Dales United got knocked out last year by…who was it again?”

Robert had known exactly what he was doing, Aaron throwing his head back and closing his eyes, unable to hide his smile, fully aware he’d set Robert up for that one.

“Yeah, yeah, we lost to Harrogate,” Aaron admitted.

It had been the giant killing of the competition, AFC Harrogate in the 4th tier of English football managing to topple over their local Premier League counterparts in a shock 1-0 victory.

Aaron laughed but it still stung.

“To be fair, though, mate, I didn’t play,” Aaron explained, not wanting Robert to think for a second that he could have been responsible for the defeat. “So, clearly, that explains it.”

Robert nodded, still with that glint in his eye.

“Hmm, yeah,” Robert pondered. “Guess I’ll have to make sure I play you at all the cup games this year then?”

“Yeah, you will,” Aaron laughed without hesitation.

He loved playing in the cup; and winning it, for that matter.

 “OK, let’s make a deal,” Robert smiled, genuinely, straightening himself up on the sofa and raising his whisky glass up to Aaron. “I’ll make sure you’re on the pitch for every cup game this season, as long as you promise to score in each one.”

Aaron laughed, again.

He didn’t realise how giddy he could become in Robert’s company.

“Deal,” Aaron smiled at him, clinking their glasses by way of sealing the promise, eyes meeting for the briefest of moments in such a manner that made Robert’s cheeks flash with such heat he had to turn and look away.

They’d sat in palpable silence for a few moments after that, the sound of the TV filling the room, both of them trying to avoid addressing in their own minds how the look they’d just shared seemed to cause some kind of shift in the atmosphere; and whether the other felt it too.

Aaron downed his drink.

“Another one?” Aaron offered, pointing at Robert’s empty glass.

He needed a reason to break the silence; and slightly more so he needed a reason to keep Robert in his front room a little longer.

He didn’t want to think about why; or what he was hoping for.

He just knew he didn’t want him to leave.

He looked at his watch. It was nearing 3am, and Adam would surely be back soon.

He realised he didn’t care.

He just didn’t want Robert to leave.

“Yeah, why not,” Robert replied, holding his glass up to Aaron who took it from him, walking to the drinks collection at the back of the room.

Robert took the opportunity to check his phone whilst Aaron wasn’t looking. He saw 3 missed calls from Chrissie, and a text demanding to know his whereabouts.

He didn’t know why he hadn’t wanted Aaron to see, but something about their evening made him not want to bring up his fiancée’s name.

He quickly text her back.

_Will be back late, having a drink with some of the team. I told you not to wait up._

He locked his phone and slipped it back into his jacket pocket as Aaron returned with his drink, sure Aaron noticed him slip it away but he was grateful he didn’t bring it up.

Aaron sat back down, grabbing the TV remote as he did so and flicking through the TV guide as they sat together in amiable silence. Robert hadn’t been oblivious to the fact that Aaron had shifted ever so slightly closer to him when he’d sat back down on the sofa; their knees knocking together; electricity pulsating through his body at the closeness of Aaron’s thigh to his; at the heat he could  feel from Aaron sitting so closely to him.

He realised that Aaron knew exactly what he was doing.

He also realised the whiskey was making him ignore the voice in the back of his head that told him he was on dangerous ground.

Only, he had no interest in listening to that voice right now.

He turned to face Aaron, watching the way the light from the TV reflected images of blue and white against his face in the darkened room. He saw Aaron’s lips twitch into a smirk, aware he was being watched.

Aaron chose to put on a replay of an old episode of _Only Fools and Horses_ before turning to face Robert.

He let their eyes connect for a few moments before breaking the silence – aware the expression on his face was probably telling Robert everything he needed to know without the need for words.

“What?” Aaron whispered suggestively, aware his heart was about to explode in anticipation of what he was sure was about to happen.

His words lingered in the air between them for what felt like a lifetime.

“Nothing,” Robert smirked before looking away, noticing what Aaron had decided to put on the TV and disapproving. “Seriously?” Robert asked him with an eye roll.

Aaron feigned offence in his expression.

“Erm…it’s a classic,” he argued, drinking in the sight of Robert’s tongue as it brushed against his bottom lip, unable to ignore the way his groin twitched at the sight of it, drunk with the thoughts of what he’d like Robert’s tongue to be doing to him instead.

Robert smirked, like he knew exactly what he was thinking.

Quick as a flash, Robert leaned over Aaron and took the remote control from his left hand, snatching it away and flicking up to the next channel.

Aaron glared at him – smirk still drenched over his face with the way Robert’s touch against his skin had ignited a spark that fizzed its way throughout his body. Robert’s expression was playful in reply – fully aware of the effect his touch had had over Aaron – and he quickly raised his right hand to take the remote out of Aaron’s reach.

He knew there was an advantage to their height difference; allowing him to hold the remote high enough that Aaron had no chance to snatch it back from him.

He was laughing – the kind of laughter he wasn’t sure he’d experienced in a long while – and Aaron was mirroring his mischievous smile, turning to face Robert on the sofa now to try and battle with him to get the TV remote back. Robert stood up, aware he needed to play dirty to stop Aaron winning in their little game, and Aaron followed him, reaching up to grab the TV remote back from him but not being able to get his hand as high as Robert’s.

There were only a couple of inches of difference between them – in height, anyway – but it allowed Robert to make full use of his advantage to hold the remote out of Aaron’s reach.

“Robert,” Aaron warned playfully, advancing towards him slowly, one hand outstretched to try to get to the TV remote and the other held up against Robert’s chest as if in preparation to shove him in mock outrage, which he may have been tempted to do had he not been so turned on by the way his body was edging closer to Robert’s as the blond walked backwards, both hands holding the remote up in the air.

“Nope,” Robert laughed, his back hitting the wall with a jolt as he came to a stop next to the doorway between the lounge and the hallway, feeling Aaron’s body press up against him for a split second before he swayed backwards slightly, relishing the heat from his body, could feel it tingling from his thighs all the way up to his chest.

Aaron stayed close, less than a centimetre between them.

Robert watched as Aaron’s expression changed. His playful smirk dropped; seduction and lust pouring from him in waves instead; eyes flicking between lips and eyes; lips and eyes; lips and eyes.

Robert knew he was mirroring Aaron’s wanton desire; deepened even further when Aaron took a step forward so that his body was pressed up against Robert’s, could feel his chest heaving against his own from the short, sharp breaths the younger man was forced into taking; delirious with the feel of his hardening length pushing against his boxers; sure Aaron rolled his hips forwards slightly to leave Robert with no doubt that he wasn’t the only one feeling turned on as he pushed his erection up against his thick thighs.

Robert was ready to tear Aaron apart at the scenes; neither of them willing to break the heated eye contact when they jolted slightly at the sound of the TV remote hitting the laminate flooring.

Robert hadn’t even been aware that he’d let it drop from his hands as they’d relaxed against the wall and dropped to his sides; Aaron’s hands clenched now to the material of his jacket on his biceps.

Robert felt Aaron’s breath against his lips and reached out instinctively, grabbing Aaron with both hands around the waist and pulling his body closer to him to leave no doubt about whether Aaron was hard for him.

He groaned involuntarily; watching the way Aaron’s expression darkened at the sound of it.

He swallowed down.

He knew if he closed the gap between them and crashed their lips together as he so desperately wanted to he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

He knew if he started this right here, right now, he might never be able to end it.

And he also knew he couldn’t find it in himself to care about the rest.

He took one more look into Aaron’s eyes, as if asking for permission, and he got the answer he needed.

The sound of a key turning in the door stopped him.

He saw Aaron’s expression turn to panic in the blink of an eye; aware his own reaction must have been identical.

Adam was home.

“Shit,” Aaron whispered, stepping backwards.

He picked up the TV remote from the floor, Robert feeling the lack of contact as Aaron peeled his body away from him; forgetting to breathe for a split second as his body felt the withdrawal at the moment he needed anything but.

“Hide,” Aaron whispered again, nodding towards the sofa along the wall behind him that would have kept him out of view from Adam if he’d walked in.

Robert took a second to regain his composure – needing a moment to recover from the shock of the lack of Aaron’s touch, when he’d been so sure he was about to take everything he needed from him.

He managed to snap out of it just in time to move himself behind the sofa, lying on the floor behind it, wedged between the back of the sofa and the wall.

“There’s only one Aaron Dingle!”

Adam was chanting as he stumbled into the lounge; his booming laugh having a complete lack of respect for the time of night.

“Shhhh,” Robert heard Aaron warning his friend.

Adam laughed, and Robert heard Aaron join in after a few moments.

“You’re pissed,” Aaron joked, and Robert heard Adam try to formulate some sort of sentence unsuccessfully before Aaron vowed to take him up to bed.

“Try to get upstairs and I’ll bring you up some water,” he heard Aaron tell Adam, before some shuffling around and gentle encouragement as Robert assumed Aaron persuaded his housemate to leave the room.

Seconds later he felt a nudge against his foot and took it as his cue from Aaron. He shuffled back out from his hiding place behind the sofa and brushed himself down.

He took one look at Aaron and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ssshhhh!!” Aaron mouthed, no noise escaping him as a mixture of panic and amusement covered his expression.

Robert wasn’t sure if it was the whiskey or the heady excitement at having felt Aaron hard for him moments earlier, but he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face.

“Let yourself out as soon as I’ve taken him upstairs,” Aaron ordered.

Robert nodded.

“Ok,” Robert agreed, feeling a tinge of regret that they had been interrupted. “See you later, yeah?” he asked, full of expectation.

Aaron smiled at him.

“Night, Robert,” he purred, wanting nothing more than to close the space between them and carry on where they’d been before Adam had interrupted them, but all too well aware that the moment may have passed, and suspecting deep down that if he started he wouldn’t be able to stop, and they weren’t alone any more.

As much as the idea of fucking Robert on the lounge floor with Adam upstairs appealed to him, he didn’t think his boss would feel the same.

He was wrong, of course.

But it seemed tonight was not their night.

Robert hesitated for a minute, until the sound of Adam banging into various walls along the landing made them aware yet again that they weren’t alone.

He made his way towards the door, looking backwards to fire a wink in Aaron’s direction, opening the door quietly and leaving, body aching with regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr - wellyfullofale :)


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez the chapters are getting longer! Thank you again for reading/kudos/comments - it honestly means so much.  
> Hope you enjoy this one ;)

**Chapter 6**

Robert sat in his car outside Aaron’s house.

“Fuck.”

He whispered it to himself.

He was giddy with the whisky he’d drunk – far too much for him to be contemplating driving home – but he was heady with the memory of what had just nearly happened with Aaron in his front room, too.

He’d been less than a second away from crashing his lips against Aaron’s, and he had no doubt that the beautiful brunette had wanted exactly the same thing from him that he’d wanted to take. And take; and take again.

He rested his head back on the seat, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as he bit against his bottom lip, imagining what Aaron would have tasted like against his lips, how his tongue would have felt against his own.

There was something about the glint in Aaron’s eyes whenever he got close enough to _really_ look into them that told him Aaron would be worth every second of graft and every bit of risk if he ever managed to get him on his own.

He wanted him; so badly.

He knew he had to try and get Aaron on his own again. He didn’t know how long it would be – aware there was always the team around them at training; and that him and Adam were pretty much joined at the hip outside of training – but he would persist.

He would find a way, and when he did, he would take everything he wanted – _needed –_ from Aaron, and enjoy every single second.

He took out his phone, not thinking twice as he sent a text to Aaron.

_Had a good night ;) Sleep well Aaron. X_

He didn’t think he would have ever sent it sober – may have never let himself be so open and vulnerable and admit that he had wanted Aaron so much.

But the whisky was making him loose.

His phone flashed with Aaron’s reply.

_Me too. Night._

He noticed the abrupt ending, but the smile filled his face when his phone flashed again seconds later.

_X_

How could one single letter have Robert grinning from ear to ear?

Probably because he knew the fact that it came a few seconds after Aaron’s first reply meant that he’d made a point of sending him a kiss, and that seemed to hold so much promise knowing that minutes earlier he’d been millimetres away from getting one for real.

He was nowhere near sober, but he was 10 minutes from home, and he was on such a high from spending the evening with Aaron that he didn’t think he could care, so he started his engine and slowly drove the short journey back to the house he shared with his fiancée, a plan forming in his mind along the way.

 

-s-

 

When Aaron awoke the following day he had a brief moment of realisation that he’d so very nearly kissed his boss the night before, and he groaned to himself.

How could he have let himself gain such an _infatuation_ for somebody who should be so _off-limits_?

Even if he hadn’t got a fiancée – which should be enough of a reason in and of itself – he should have heeded the warning bells from the fact that getting with Robert Sugden could quite easily put his whole career in jeopardy, and not to mention the media circus that would erupt should anybody ever find out.

And yet, he couldn’t deny that in Robert’s presence, he became helpless.

He couldn’t resist the way Robert looked at him – not always, but often enough so that he noticed it – like he was the only person in the room. He couldn’t ignore the fact that he salivated at the mere thought of Robert’s touch, let alone how his whole body had sparked into life the night before as he’d stood so close he could taste Robert’s breath on his lips.

He shuddered at the thought of it; his skin prickling with wanton desire.

Why was his heart suddenly racing?

Damn Robert Sugden.

He was bad news, and Aaron knew it. Robert was a terrible idea.

But he also knew there was no way he could stop himself if Robert were to come calling again.

And he had a sneaking suspicion that would be exactly what Robert would do.

In fact, he was so confident, he picked up his phone and decided to suggest just that.

_Morning. You free today? X_

He sent it without letting himself think twice.

He assumed Robert wouldn’t need any explanation as to why he wanted to see him.

Aaron lay back on the bed, allowing himself to smile, realising his insomnia seemed to have become a distant memory in the past few days, and today he’d managed to sleep in well past his usual time, even on a day off.

What he wouldn’t give to have had training today, though.

He clicked the side button of his phone, just in case the LED light for notifications had stopped working.

It hadn’t.

Maybe Robert was still asleep.

When he’d managed to haul himself out of bed and get showered and dressed, Aaron was surprised to see Adam awake in the living room.

And by awake, what he really meant was that he barely had his eyes open as he lay flat out on the couch that Aaron remembered he’d clinked glasses and knees with Robert on the night before.

And nearly lips, too.

Chance would have been a fine thing.

He quickly checked his phone in his pocket again, just in case.

Nothing.

“You look like you need a strong, black coffee and a bacon sarnie,” Aaron smirked as he stood over Adam, looking down on him and laughing at his hungover state.

Adam smiled, then winced as his headache clearly thickened in response to his minor movement.

“That would be a dream,” Adam purred, trying to keep his movements to a minimum.

“Well, you know where the kitchen is,” Aaron smirked as he tapped Adam’s legs to encourage him to make room for Aaron on the sofa.

“Ahh, mate, please,” Adam begged, refusing to move his legs to make way for Aaron. “I will love you forever. Pleeeeaaassseeee?”

He sounded so pathetic that Aaron couldn’t help but smile.

This was meant to be one of the finest sportsmen in the country – if only the press could see him in this state they’d have a field day.

He couldn’t argue though – he’d been there enough times himself.

“Fine, but you can wash up, Barton,” Aaron conceded; knew he was going to have to give in if he wanted any chance of making himself breakfast without having to listen to Adam whining.

He was halfway through cooking the bacon when the coffee machine finished Adam’s coffee and he took it through to him.

“Ere y’are,” he placed it down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, realising then that his and Robert’s whisky glasses were still on the table from the night before, looking suspicious as hell.

He hoped Adam hadn’t noticed them yet.

When he returned 10 minutes later with both of their bacon sandwiches, he realised he hadn’t been so lucky.

Adam had a smirk on his face as he moved – slowly, admittedly – so that he was sitting up on the sofa with room for Aaron to plonk himself down next to him.

“So,” Adam started, glancing over at Aaron with a glint in his eye as he squirted a healthy dollop of HP sauce onto each side of his bacon butty.

Aaron gave him a wide-eyed questioning look as he took a bite of his own sandwich.

Adam laughed, his gaze turning towards the two empty glasses on the coffee table.

“You had company last night, I see.”

Aaron’s heart fell to his stomach.

How the hell was he going to get out of this?

He was a terrible liar, and Adam knew it. He could always read him like a book.

“Surprised you’re not feeling rough like me!” Adam joked further, unable to let the silence lie for too long.

Aaron grunted.

“Nowhere near as bad as you, you muppet,” Aaron muttered, trying to take the opportunity to steer the conversation away from Aaron and his company from the night before. “You were stumbling all over the place when you got in last night. You tried to sleep in the bath at one point. I nearly left you there.”

Adam was laughing, denying all knowledge of his drunken antics, slapping his knee as Aaron told him how paralytic he’d been. 

When his laughter died down, Aaron flicked the remote on the TV in the hope that Adam had forgotten his previous line of inquiry.

He hadn’t.

“Don’t think I’m gonna forget you haven’t answered my question,” Adam smirked, crust off his sandwich hanging out of the side of his mouth as he took a bite too large to fit into even a mouth of his size.

Aaron rolled his eyes and noticeably ignored the remark.

His refusal to explain lingered in the air between them as they sat finishing their breakfast; the only sound coming from the news anchor on the TV dissecting through the previous night’s results.

The reporters moved on to show the contenders for goal of the month.  They made it to Option 6 – the second of Aaron’s goals from the night before, which even he would admit himself was an absolute screamer. A volley from the edge of the box, which had landed perfectly in his path after Adam had had his own shot deflected back in Aaron’s direction from one of their defenders.

“Niiiiiiice!” Adam cheered as they replayed it from three different angles. It was the first he’d seen of the goal on TV seeing as he’d spent the night pouring shots and pints of ale down his throat.

Of course, Aaron had seen it a few times the night before.

His heart leapt when he remembered how Robert had been visibly impressed when watching the highlights.

He shrugged his shoulders modestly, trying to suppress the smile on his face.

He subconsciously checked his phone again.

Nothing.

“So go on, Dingle,” Adam punched his arm playfully again now that he’d finished his sarnie. “Who were you entertaining without me?”

Aaron groaned.

“No one,” he muttered, picking up their plates and walking back through to the kitchen.

He hadn’t expected Adam would follow him – seeing as any slight movement had seemed to cause his hangover headache to worsen moments earlier – but he could feel the presence of his best mate behind him as he clinked the plates down into the sink, and he sighed.

“No, don’t give me that!” Adam pushed. “Go on, what’s with the secrecy?”

Aaron leant back against the worktop; arms folded.

“S’Not secret,” Aaron insisted quietly with a shrug. “Just, not important is it.”

Adam looked at him like he was waiting for more of an explanation, wide eyed and questioning.

“Just an old mate,” Aaron lied. “Nothing like what you’re thinking.”

Adam’s face told him he wasn’t buying one bit of it, but maybe he was ready to concede defeat.

“Yeah, yeah, likely story,” Adam nodded with a hint of sarcasm. “You clearly don’t wanna tell me about your secret love life, you dirty dog.”

Adam giggled, leaning in to tickle the spot on Aaron’s waist that made him weak, but Aaron saw it coming and batted his hand away, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Shut up,” Aaron smirked, and he knew then the game was up; that he couldn’t deny that Adam had twigged about something.

It didn’t meant he was going to tell Adam about Robert, though – he hadn’t even worked out if there was actually anything to tell, yet – but he couldn’t risk whatever it was between them ending before it had even begun by telling Adam; aware of his best mates loose lips after he’d had a few ales.

He couldn’t risk ruining things with Robert.

Even if he was insisting on ignoring the blatantly suggestive text Aaron had sent him that morning.

He checked his phone again; still nothing. It had been at least 2 hours now.

Adam noticed, smirking and shaking his head.

“You’ve definitely got something going on, bro,” he shook his head in mock outrage. “Whatever, just look after yourself, mate.”

“Shut up,” Aaron frowned, as usual when anybody tried to show him some form of affection.

Adam winked at him and let the subject lie; albeit briefly.

Aaron spent the rest of the day fielding questions from his best mate, listening to him tease Aaron about his secret lover as they chilled out on the sofa watching Pointless and The Chase; Aaron suggesting the odd game on the Xbox so that he could beat Adam as usual, in between checking his phone for messages from Robert.

His face had lit up at one point when he’d heard his ringtone, and his lapse in concentration had allowed Adam to score against him on Fifa. To make it worse, he registered it was his mum’s face on the screen when he lifted his phone up, and not Robert’s, and he hated how that made his internal organs sink.

His mum had quizzed him, wondering why he was so short with her on the phone – said she could always tell when something was worrying her little boy – and Aaron had cringed with the way she always called him that, even if it did warm him deep down.

He’d told her it was nothing – that he was just tired after having had 2 games in 4 days and with the media circus surrounding him – and she’d bought it, at least, telling him he she loved him and she was proud of him.

He knew it – he didn’t need her to tell him; but he kind of liked it when she did – even if he usually recoiled into himself and told her to _shut up_ affectionately whenever it happened.

He couldn’t tell her the real reason he’d got a cloud over him all day. A cloud that was growing darker with each passing minute as Robert’s reply never came.

He couldn’t tell her, or Adam, how he felt himself tumbling down a black hole he feared he might never escape from.

 

-s-

 

 

When he got to training the next day, Aaron was determined not to let Robert see how much his non-response the previous day had got to him. He hadn’t made a conscious decision to feign nonchalance towards the blond man who’d made him pace through rooms and snap at everyone within his breathing space as he obsessively checked his phone the previous day, but it hadn’t taken long for him to realise it was exactly what he was doing.

He resented how Robert had turned him into that person.

But it wasn’t like he could pretend that all of the resentment and anxiety didn’t blur out to make way for an unquenchable thirst for Robert Sugden as soon as he appeared on the training pitch.

And he may have feigned indifference towards him – may have been able to plaster a look of disinterest over his face in Robert’s presence – but he couldn’t ignore the fire that raged in the pit of his stomach when his eyes set themselves in Robert’s direction.

And when Robert caught his gaze, Aaron felt like his heart beat started rising exponentially.

He bit the inside of his cheeks in an attempt to stop his body’s natural reaction from exposing itself onto his facial expression.

As Robert called the players around at the start of training, he had the audacity to offer Aaron the kind of glance that made his body ache.

It was a look which seemed to promise something – but Aaron had spent the last 24 hours becoming increasingly agitated with the presence of Robert in his thoughts alongside the absence of him in his WhatsApp messages, and he could almost convince himself that he wasn’t interested in whatever it was that Robert was promising.

_Almost_ convince himself.

He focused on the pain of his teeth digging into the inside of his cheeks in order to preserve the look of disdain that he so desperately wanted Robert to see in response to the brazen look Robert was still offering him from the other side of the group of players.

Robert broke his gaze to give his instructions to the team; Aaron unable to concentrate on whatever it was Robert was saying as his mind raced with memories of their moment – _so close –_ just two days ago; and then the radio silence from Robert since then.

He could see Robert trying to catch his eye then for the rest of the training session, but all Aaron could feel was a bubbling anger in the pit of his stomach. What made Robert Sugden think he could turn up at his house unannounced and flirt with him shamelessly for hours, only to treat him like he didn’t exist the very next day?

And then turn it all back on again the next time they saw each other, and expect Aaron to just comply at his whim?

He could only assume Robert had been too drunk to know what he was doing the other day, and the realisation the following morning must have brought with it an overwhelming sense of regret that kept him from bringing himself to reply to Aaron’s embarrassingly blatant booty call.

That’s what Aaron assumed, anyway.

And Aaron wasn’t about being treated that way.

He didn’t have the time to be messed around – much less by someone who seemed intent on hiding who he really was from the world whilst he strung along his gullible fiancée  – and he’d be damned if he was going to let Robert Sugden turn him into someone who waited by the phone all day for a measly text message.

Aaron briefly thought to himself how he’d need something – or someone – to take his mind off it, and vowed to take himself out to that new bar in town after training to rectify that _lack-of-human-touch_ situation that he seemed to have found himself in.

That must have been the reason why he’d let himself get so _obsessed_ over the blond-haired, blue-eyed, freckle-faced manager of his so quickly.

That must have been the only reason, he told himself.

Unwittingly, he cast a glance over in Robert’s direction mid-way through the training session, catching the blond already looking his way.

He wondered how much time Robert had spent watching his every move in training; or if it had been some coincidence that Robert had been looking his way on the one opportunity he’d taken to glare in his direction.

Coincidence.

It must have been.

He felt the stab of resentment rising inside of him again, more so at the fact that he’d let his thoughts once again become occupied with his new boss and that he’d let the ball glide straight past him on the training pitch, receiving a tirade of expletives from his teammates telling him to _concentrate_ and _stop daydreaming._

Damn you, Robert Sugden.

Seconds later he felt the ball connect to his feet, but his head was still in a different world altogether when one of the youth team players – Jacob, he thought his name was – managed to take advantage of his mind being clearly distracted as he tapped a foot on the ball at Aaron’s feet to let it trickle between Aaron’s legs.

He flashed Aaron a wink as he rounded him to collect the ball the other side, whispering “Nutmegs!” to his older teammate cheekily.

Aaron could hear the jeers and catcalls of his teammates, clearly impressed with the skill of the young lad and his level of _banter_ as they called out to him.

Any other day, and Aaron would have surely joined in and applauded the lad on his skill.

But Aaron wasn’t in the mood to be made a fool of today.

Not by a little kid.

And not in front of Robert.

Without hesitation, he turned on his heels and sprinted up the field, following the young lad who had taken the ball from him.

He sped up as he caught up with Jacob – who remained unaware of Aaron’s retaliation – and as Aaron got close enough he launched himself into a sliding tackle from behind, studs up and showing as Aaron felt them connect with the young lad’s calves, bringing him toppling to the ground unceremoniously.

Aaron could hear the outcry all around him from his teammates as he untangled his legs from Jacob and pulled himself back to his feet. He saw their expressions – saw how they ranged from shock to disdain and anger – but he played it off as nothing and held out a hand to Jacob to help him up.

“Sorry, mate,” Aaron muttered to him without any hint of sincerity. “That’ll teach you to try and do one over on me, eh?”

He felt a tinge of regret as he looked at the lad sprawled out on the floor looking up at him as if someone had just killed off his childhood hero.

For all Aaron knew, he just had.

Jacob knocked his hand away and picked himself up, brushing his kit down and adjusting his shin-pads from where they’d felt the full force of the impact with Aaron’s football boots.

“Fuck you,” Jacob muttered as he brushed past Aaron.

It was enough for Aaron to see red.

He turned and grabbed Jacob’s elbow, pulling him back so that they were face to face, baring his teeth at him in preparation for the warning he was about to give him, before he was being pulled backwards all of a sudden, hands dragging him back from his shoulders, aware of his teammates surrounding him and breaking the fight apart.

“Aaron!”

He could hear Robert’s voice above the haze of his teammates trying to calm the situation down.

He hoped it was because Robert shouted louder than the rest, and not because he was wired to tune into the sound of him at the expense of everyone else.

“Aaron, stop it!” Robert demanded, making his way through his players and moving to stand himself in front of Aaron, grabbing onto his forearms for the briefest moment before Aaron realised he was holding onto him and shrugging Robert’s touch away.

“Right, make yourself scarce, Dingle,” Robert ordered, his eyes searching Aaron’s face to try and find some semblance of rationality in between his flashes of anger. “Go on, do some drills on your own and clear your head.”

Aaron scowled at him, grunting by way of begrudged acceptance, shrugging off whoever’s hands were on his shoulders trying to pull him away from Jacob and retreating away from the group of his teammates who’d gathered around.

“And you can make your way up to my office once training’s done,” Robert called out after him, aware he was under the watchful eye of the rest of the team and hoping they took his disciplinary tone to show his intention to punish Aaron.

He hoped his voice hadn’t betrayed what he really wanted to do to him.

“Whatever,” Aaron grunted under his breath as he turned and jogged off to another part of the training pitch to complete his drills alone.

 

-s-

 

Aaron had waited for the rest of the team to leave the training pitch and given it a good few minutes afterwards for them to get showered and leave the changing rooms before he’d pelted the ball up the other end of the training pitch and made his way indoors.

He’d heard them chuntering as he’d walked away earlier – had known his name was mud again thanks to his outburst against the young lad Jacob – but he had needed to lash out against someone, and Jacob had been there, laughing in his face.

He couldn’t take it out on the one person who’d made him so _on-edge,_ so he’d taken whatever other opportunity he could find to express the rage and uncertainty that was tearing through him.

He showered and changed alone – the rest of the team having filtered off before he’d even left the training pitch – and he contemplated ignoring his bosses orders to make his way to his office after training; realising he wasn’t in any mood to listen to Robert attempt to discipline him about the way he’d reacted to Jacob on the pitch.

He didn’t think he could stand there and take Robert speaking to him like he was just any other member of his team; like he hadn’t been seconds away from pressing their lips together in Aaron’s front room less than 48 hours ago; as if he’d imagined the feel of Robert’s hardened length rub up against his own as they’d pushed their bodies up against each other in their drunken haze.

He didn’t want to see Robert pretend none of it had happened.

Or, even worse, he couldn’t bear to hear Robert tell him that he’d imagined that spark between them – that it was a mistake, and that Aaron should forget all about it.

Aaron didn’t think he had the ability to do that.

In fact, he knew he didn’t.

And he didn’t have it in him to take a bollocking from him either.

He left the changing room, finding himself at the junction of the corridor – the left option taking him back out to the car park and the right option taking him in the direction of Robert’s office.

He’d turned left before he’d even given himself the opportunity to think it through.

To hell with it.

If Robert Sugden wanted to appear at his front door at midnight, almost kiss him, and then ignore him like it was nothing, then Aaron was going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Or so Aaron thought.

As if Robert had sensed his defiance, Aaron felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

_Have you forgotten I wanted you in my office?_

Aaron let out an incredulous laugh; shaking his head in disbelief and feeling that stab of anger towards Robert Sugden rising in the pit of his stomach again.

He noticed the lack of Robert’s usual text sign off – if two texts could count as establishing a pattern – and assumed Robert wasn’t messing around.

He exhaled sharply.

As much as he wanted to defy Robert’s orders and carry on walking towards his car, Aaron knew deep down that it was in no way a good move to make an enemy out of his manager – aware that his future success as a footballer lay in Robert’s hands.

He gritted his teeth and turned on his heels to make his way towards Robert’s office.

He knocked the door with vigour when he made it to his destination on the top floor of the hospitality suites, at the end of the long corridor of plush rooms.

Aaron paced outside the door, noticing the blinds had been closed on the windows which usually allowed complete transparency into Robert’s office.

Maybe he’d gone home, Aaron thought.

He leant his ear up against the door, listening in to the feint sound of murmurings on the other side.

Did Robert have someone in there with him?

And why was the thought of that causing some kind of jealousy to prickle over his skin?

He banged furiously on the door again.

If Robert was going to try to exert his power by punishing him for something he knew full well was his own fault, he’d be damned if he was going to make him wait outside his office for ages in anticipation of it, too.

His fist was raised to the door to bang it down again when the door swung open, Robert stood the other side with the phone to his ear.

Aaron briefly let his eyes scan the room, realising the sounds he had heard were Robert on the phone and not Robert with a visitor.

Robert was all alone.

He raised an eyebrow at Aaron and stepped backwards to let the younger man into his office, swinging the door shut behind him.

“Yes, I’ll sort it,” Robert insisted to whoever was on the other end of the line. “I know, it’s not ideal but I don’t know what….”

Robert rolled his eyes in exasperation, hoping Aaron would sense the good humour in his expression and relax a little from the way he seemed to be pacing around his office, his expression set into one of anger and resentment.

Robert frowned.

Sometimes he really couldn’t work out this man he’d quickly become so attached to.

He gestured towards the chair next to his desk to encourage Aaron to sit down, but he stayed rooted to the spot he was stood on, glaring at Robert as he bit on his bottom lip.

When Robert broke his eye contact away and made his way back towards the desk, Aaron allowed himself to take in the surroundings of Robert’s office from where he stood against the door.

Robert hadn’t been with the club long, and Aaron noticed how the office was much more _sparse_ than it had been under their previous manager. It was a large room – one of the side walls to Aaron’s left adorned with the largest TV screen Aaron thought he’d ever seen, currently on pause on what looked like the lead up to Aaron’s first goal from the midweek game.  There was enough space in the room for a sofa to be placed in front of the TV, with Robert’s desk sitting a little further back and facing towards where Aaron stood. Behind the desk was a wall of windows, overlooking the pitch, on which Aaron could see the groundsmen working away.

The rest of the room was empty; save for the desk itself which had various bits of paper sprawled over it and Robert’s laptop next to a small collection of coffee cups.

No photos; Aaron noted.

In fact, there was very little _personalisation_ of any sort to his office.

Although he’d not been there long, he supposed.

Aaron sighed, glaring back in Robert’s direction. He was still on his phone call, clearly getting more and more frustrated with whomever he was talking to, catching Aaron’s eye and making a sarcastic gesture with his hands in what Aaron assumed was a futile attempt to make him smile.

Only Aaron didn’t feel like smiling. He hated being kept waiting – much less so when he knew he was about to get some kind of warning for his actions on the training pitch – and he had nothing but a deep seated pit of anger inside him which stopped him finding any form of humour in Robert’s clearly exasperated state.

He needed him to finish his damned phone call, so Aaron could give him a piece of his mind.

He locked his eyes onto Robert and watched as he moved around the room – sauntering near his desk as he gesticulated in symmetry with his protestations on the phone. He seemed to be trying to get rid of whoever he was talking to, at least, and Aaron felt his eyes wander over Robert’s form as he turned his back to him momentarily; glaring over the shape of him; wondering how he would feel against Aaron’s body.

His indigo jeans were smart enough to class as professional wear, and tight enough that Aaron could quite perfectly make out the thickness of his thighs and the roundness of his arse; good enough to grab onto. He was wearing some kind of floral shirt – the jumper he’d had on for training slung over the back of the sofa to Aaron’s left – and Aaron could see the curve of his biceps in the arm that was holding his phone up to his ear.

Robert turned to face Aaron; caught him looking.

He smirked, and Aaron didn’t want to let himself believe the voice in his head that told him Robert had no intention to discipline him at all.

He clouded it over by reminding himself of the way Robert had so blatantly ignored him all day yesterday, and he wasn’t going to let Robert turn him into someone who sat around waiting for a phone call from some bloke he hardly knew.

“I said, I’ll sort it Lawrence, OK,” Robert said, and there was an air of finality about it, finally. “I’ll call you later with an update….I know….Yes that’s fine… Bye Lawrence.”

The phone was finally peeled away from his ear as Robert ended his phone call.

“Jeez, that man can talk –”

“Look, Robert,” Aaron interrupted, and his voice was hoarse and full of intention, and he was desperate to let know Robert exactly what he thought of the way he’d completely ignored him the previous day. “I don’t know who you think you are, right, but you’ve got absolutely no right to stand here and have a go at me about today when my head’s all over the place and part of that is _your_ fault.”

Aaron accentuated his statement with a pointed finger in Robert’s direction, shifting on his feet as he realised Robert was – what was that – _smiling?_

Arrogant prick, Aaron thought, and it made him see red.

“Don’t you fucking stand there and smirk at me, Robert,” he continued, and now Robert was walking towards him, sure of himself, and Aaron’s breathing was getting sharper as his teeth were grinding together, and he could feel the angry tears prickling at the back of his eyes and he _hated_ his incapacity to really make a point like this without his propensity for tears rearing its head, and he blinked them back and bit inside his gum to successfully draw his senses away from the tears that threatened to expose him. “You’ve been hot and cold with me since we met and with all the other shit that’s going on I just haven’t got time for it, Robert.”

Robert was getting closer, his smile widening with each step in complete contrast to the emotion Aaron was trying to summon from him.

“So come on, then,” Aaron tried to taunt him, but Robert was advancing closer still, “If it’s gonna make you feel big and powerful to stand here and _punish_ me for being a dick in training you go right ahead, Robert, but don’t you stand there smirking, lording it about near me –”

Robert’s lips ripped the words from his mouth; the sound of his anger drowning in the vacuum created by Robert’s mouth against his own, and Aaron could feel the push of Robert’s hands against his chest, grasping at the material of Aaron’s white t-shirt and the zips of his open hoodie as he coerced him backwards a few steps before Aaron felt his back hit the closed door, and Robert’s body reverberated against him with the impact, and their lips parted with it too.

Aaron looked into Robert’s eyes.

He realised he wasn’t angry anymore.

His breathing wasn’t rapid from the resentment coiling in the pit of his stomach any more, but instead it was the presence of Robert within such close proximity to him; his body pressed up against Aaron’s once more as he found himself wedged between Robert and the door behind him; Robert’s eyes searching his expression, looking for something he assumed was consent, or acceptance, or the reflection of his own desire.

The smile that crept onto Aaron’s face registered for less than a second before Robert leaped on it as an indication of the approval he’d been looking for, and his eyes closed as he leant in again and pressed his lips to Aaron’s, this time feeling the brunette responding to him in equal measure, feeling the push of his lips up against him, and his resistance had disappeared now as he tilted his head, hungry to deepen the kiss further, and he could feel Aaron’s hands now grabbing at the material on the bicep of his shirt, and it was ragged and desperate, and he knew he needed it just as much as he did.

Robert released the material at the chest of Aaron’s t-shirt as he slid his hands up to Aaron’s neck, his nimble fingers tickling Aaron’s hairline as his hand held his jawline with a gentleness that couldn’t have contrasted further with the kiss that they were so desperately exploring between them.

The movement allowed Robert to push his whole body up against Aaron’s, connecting all the way up from their thighs to their chests, and Aaron was sure he could feel Robert’s heart racing in his chest; or it could have been his own; he wasn’t sure.

It gave him a renewed surge of desire, and he pushed back against Robert’s body and he was guiding Robert backwards now, hungry to take everything he could from Robert, _desperate_ for more, _needing_ to take, take, take from this beautiful man that was making his skin prickle and his mouth water with excitement.

He was hard – harder than he thought possible from _just_ a kiss – and as Robert’s backside connected with the edge of his desk and his body doubled back against him, Aaron could feel Robert was hard for him, too, letting out a groan at the sensation because this was _too much_. Aaron hadn’t let himself consider how much he’d wanted this – _needed this_ – but it was clear to him know; crystal clear. He felt Robert’s hands leave his neck, grabbing at the shoulders of his hoodie and pushing the material off him, Aaron dropping his grip from Robert’s arms to let his hoodie drop to the floor, and their lips parted agonisingly for the briefest of seconds as Robert grabbed at the hem of his t-shirt and whipped it over his head, throwing it to the far side of the room.

Aaron saw Robert’s eyes travel over his body – saw the way his sight clouded over with _lust_ and _desire_ and _want_ and _need,_ and he recognised it because it was exactly what he suspected Robert saw reflected back in his own eyes, and his smile mirrored Roberts as they leapt back in, tongues and teeth and lips and groans as they took what they needed from each other.

Robert was pushing back against him again, his hands travelling over his skin, the coolness of his touch leaving a trail of goose bumps over Aaron’s skin; Robert’s palms coming to rest against the solidity of Aaron’s hipbone, pulling him closer, encouraging Aaron to roll his hips against him; to feel the solidity of Aaron’s length grind up against his own, and it was too much to handle, and he couldn’t wait any longer.

He had to have him.

Robert broke their kiss, aware of Aaron’s groan at the lack of contact, could feel his taut body keening into him as he turned back, pushing the papers off the desk to make room for him to take their place. Aaron’s lips had moved to his neck, and he was heady with it, and he stilled as Aaron licked against that sweet spot that made Robert lose all focus, could hear the smash of a coffee cup as it careered across the desk and fell to the floor; couldn’t find it in him to care though as he felt Aaron’s hot breath against his ear, his hands working down the buttons of his shirt now as the sensation of Aaron’s moans against his ear made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Fuck, Aaron,” Robert moaned, and it was involuntary, and Aaron seemed to like it, increasing the pace with which he unbuttoned Robert’s shirt and returning his lips to Roberts, kissing him with a renewed vigour; a thirst he couldn’t satiate.

Robert felt the coldness of the air in the room hit his torso as Aaron finished working on his buttons, and within seconds Aaron’s lips had left his own and were working their way along his jawline, back to that place on his neck that made him weak, and then down further still, hands making a pathway for his lips as they caressed down the softness of Robert’s skin, and Robert knew what Aaron wanted then, and it made him dizzy with anticipation.

He couldn’t help himself, leaning back onto the desk, feeling the sharp shock of the cold glass against his back, could feel a rogue bit of paperwork stick to his back as he shuffled up slightly, and he ripped it away, to hell with its importance.

Aaron knew what Robert was doing, pushing himself between Robert’s legs as he parted them to allow Aaron to get closer; to lean in over him and continue his descent down and over Robert’s senses, lips kissing the dip in his collarbone, working their way down to his pecs; Robert flinching as Aaron reached his nipples, licking over them before blowing his cool breath onto the wetness left behind, the sensation of it heightening Robert’s senses, increasing his need to get Aaron to make his way further south – closer to where Robert really needed to feel his mouth.

Aaron bit gently onto Robert’s nipples, eliciting a carnal groan from his boss.

“Fuck, Aaron,” Robert breathed out, hands running through the loose curls of Aaron’s hair. “Fuck, you feel so good,” Robert encouraged him, looking down at the beautiful boy, eyes connecting with Aaron’s deep blue gaze as he looked up at him through his eyelashes, and Robert _needed_ Aaron to know how good he felt; how much he wanted to feel his body against his own.

Aaron’s hands made their way to Robert’s waistband, lifting his body up to let his hands get into the gap between them and unbuckle Robert’s belt, as his lips turned their attention to Robert’s neglected left nipple, eliciting a similar response from this blond Adonis he’d got writhing underneath him.

Robert’s office phone started to ring, and Aaron took his lips off Robert’s skin at the sound of it, his hands stilling as they were about to pull Robert’s belt from its metal loop.

“Ignore it,” Robert pleaded, sure it would be nowhere near as important as what he was currently doing.

Aaron obeyed his orders, smirking as he returned his attention to dragging his lips over Robert’s chest, happy that he seemed to be Robert’s priority in that moment.

Aaron had loosened his belt and was starting on the button and fly when he stilled again, the sound of Robert’s mobile phone the culprit this time.

“Fuck, ignore it Aaron,” Robert groaned, desperation seeping through his tone, breath hitched in his throat. “I need you, Aaron, I need –”

He couldn’t muster the will to finish his sentence because Aaron had managed to work open his jeans, and his hand grazed over the length of him through his boxers. Aaron ran the tip of his finger along the waistband of Robert’s tight boxers, letting out a breathy laugh as he watched Robert’s expression darken; saw the way his body responded to his proximity to the place Robert _needed_ him so badly.

“Aaron,” Robert begged him, reaching out for Aaron’s hand, but Aaron was set on teasing him, letting his palm brush over the outline of Robert’s cock lightly, squeezing gently, and Robert’s head was spinning with it, bringing out a wide smile over Aaron’s face as the object of his affections tore apart beneath him, at his touch.

His smile dropped when Robert’s office phone rang again.

“Fucks sake,” Robert cursed, exhaling in frustration as he shuffled up the desk, pulling himself away from Aaron’s touch agonisingly.

“What,” Robert snapped as he picked up the phone.

Aaron smirked.

He slipped his left hand under the waistband of Robert’s boxers, intending to make it the most difficult phone call Robert had ever had.

Robert sunk into this touch for less than a second.

“What, now?” Robert snapped down the phone, quickly recoiling away from Aaron’s touch, feeling the loss of the contact he was about to make with the part of him that ached for Aaron the most, but the panic had started to reverberate around him, and the satisfaction than had poured from him was replaced with anxiety in the blink of an eye.

“Where is she?” Robert barked at whoever was on the phone, and on hearing her reply he scrambled back to his feet off the desk, hanging up the phone and leaving Aaron with a frowned expression, wondering what he was missing.

“Fuck, Chrissie’s coming,” Robert snapped, wincing as his erection pressed uncomfortably against his jeans as he zipped them back up and started working on his belt, hands shaking somewhat with the panic that coursed through him.

“What?” Aaron questioned, eyes fixed on the picture of distress that plastered over Robert’s face.

“She’s here,” Robert snapped as he did up the buttons on his shirt. “Fuck, she’s here, Aaron, get yourself fucking dressed.”

Aaron tutted and shook his head as he glanced around Robert’s office, the evidence of their embrace clear for anyone to see, but he couldn’t find it in him to care when he was too busy growing in frustration at the way Robert was ready to drop him like yesterday’s news at the mere mention of Chrissie’ name.

Robert hadn’t aligned his shirt buttons properly, so he was hurriedly undoing them and doing them back up again properly as his eyes searched around the room for Aaron’s t-shirt and hoodie, picking them up off the floor and throwing them in Aaron’s direction as he stood motionless in the middle of the room.

“Get dressed, Aaron,” Robert ordered. “Fuck’s sake.”

Aaron obliged resentfully, pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing his arms into his hoodie.

Robert’s attention turned to the paperwork he’d flung over the floor in his desperation to get Aaron’s lips on his body, and he cursed at the broken cup on the floor by his desk chair.

Aaron stood still, unsure if Robert wanted his help.

He picked up the waste paper basket to his left and held it out to Robert who had started picking up the ceramic that lay on the floor.

“Go,” Robert ordered as he grabbed it from him, filling it with the shards left of the coffee cup. His voice was cold all of a sudden, in a way that made Aaron shudder.

Robert looked up at him, his eyes filled with the opposite of what he’d seen in them mere moments earlier.

“I said GO!” he almost shouted.

Aaron exhaled, shaking his head and tutting.

“Fine,” he muttered under his breath as he turned on his heels and made his way out of the office, slamming the door behind him as he left to show Robert exactly what he thought of his dismissal.

He took a second to lean back against the door of Robert’s office; mind buzzing with confusion over what had just happened.

He exhaled sharply, rubbing his hands against his face; fingers tracing over the lips that had just explored Robert’s body; aching for more.

He had no idea what to feel.

He was angry with Robert for the way he’d just ended things so abruptly – _livid,_ even; but another part of him couldn’t ignore how he’d felt _alive_ for the first time in a long time at the touch of Robert’s lips against his own; Robert’s hands against his skin.

He pushed himself away from the door and tried to physically create some distance between himself and the person who was turning out to be the biggest _headfuck_ he’d ever encountered.

He’d barely turned the corner in the corridor when he nearly collided into Chrissie.

“Ooh, careful,” Chrissie chastised him; affronted with the way Aaron hadn’t even tried to apologise to her.

“Whatever,” he sniped as he pushed past her; jealousy coiling in the pit of his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that ;) Just wondering (and *spoiler alert* but surely you all know this is coming lol) whether people would prefer all out explicit smut when it comes to it, or less explicit-ness but a kind of ‘fade to black, camera spans away’ kind of thing – if that makes sense? Let me know, in comments or on tumblr (wellyfullofale). The plan is smut but didn’t wanna shove it in your face if you don’t want it. Thanks!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've made you wait for this one - I struggled to get through it. But next chapter should be sooner!  
> Thanks so much for all of your lovely feedback, as ever. It honestly gives me the motivation to keep writing :)  
> P.S. I think smut won in that vote from the last chapter ;)

** Chapter 7 **

It had been three weeks since Robert kissed Aaron in his office like the world’s existence depended on it.

Three weeks.

Three weeks without a single mention of it from Robert; save the one, singular, gut-wrenching text Aaron had received less than an hour after leaving Robert’s office.

He’d been back at home, sitting anxiously on his sofa, alone. His leg had been jittering, and he’d chastised himself for smiling with the memory of Robert’s lips against his own – how he’d felt his body spark into life for the first time in so long; and quite possibly more so than it had done in forever. He’d found himself running his tongue against his lips instinctively; hoping he could still get a taste of Robert as it lingered there. He’d been partly in shock about the fact that his suspicions had been confirmed about Robert; and half in denial that his boss would actually risk everything he had in his life for someone like Aaron.

And then there’d been that other part to him – a small, seedling of some emotion Aaron had long given up expectation of finding; had resigned himself to a life without it. He couldn’t label it – the feeling so unfamiliar that Aaron didn’t know what name to attach to it – unsure if it was _hope,_ or _expectation,_ or _lust._ Or something altogether bigger, entirely.

That four letter word he wouldn’t dare let enter his thoughts.

It was far too soon for him to be letting those thoughts enter his mind, and yet his subconscious had unwittingly already gone there.

He’d felt the smile creep over his face as he’d imagined being back in that room with Robert; picturing in his mind how events could have unfolded had Robert’s phone never rung; had Chrissie never interrupted them.

It had left him with a fluttering in his stomach and a groan low in his throat, thankful he was on his own as he toyed with the images in his head of Robert in all sorts of positions over his desk.

And then his phone had vibrated in his pocket, and the smile had been wiped clean off his face.

**_Robert:_ ** _Today was a mistake. I love Chrissie, and I don’t know what I was thinking. Let’s just forget it ever happened._

It had felt like a stab to his stomach.

Like the glimmer of hope he’d given rare permission to surface had been snuffed out before it had even had chance to see daylight.

Aaron had felt the crushing realisation lie heavy over him in the moments which followed, and he’d blinked back the tears that stung in his eyes as he’d stared blankly at the moving images on the TV screen, none of which were registering anywhere near his conscious mind.

When Adam had come to join him on the sofa, he’d tried to lay into him about his choice of TV programme, before realising Aaron was spaced out and not registering a word he had said to him. He’d passed some comment about Aaron seeming like he was away with the fairies, which received no response, and when Adam had asked if it was to do with the ‘mysterious old friend’ Aaron had entertained the other night when Adam had been out, Aaron had glared at him before storming off to his room.

The following day Aaron had woken up with the brightness shining through his thin curtains more so than usual, and sure enough when he’d looked outside he’d seen the thick coating of white snow lying across the rooftops of the houses in the distance. It had looked beautiful – trees balancing the inch of snow atop their narrow branches; birds fluttering out of their embrace and sending thick wads of snow tumbling to the ground in their wake; delicate trails of pawprints embedded into the thick coating of snow on the ground from where a cat, or a fox, had clearly made its path through their back garden.

He’d realised though that he couldn’t find it in himself to summon the usual boyhood excitement that came with the sight of snow.

He’d checked his phone; perhaps hoping there would be some grovelling message from Robert begging him for forgiveness after he’d taken him to the doorway of heaven and then closed the door firmly in his face the day before.

There had been a text message there, but it had been from the officials at the club.

_No training today with the snow, will update on status for the match tomorrow._

Aaron had been thankful that he wouldn’t have to face Robert at training, and he’d spent the rest of that day trying to push the memory of Robert to the back of his mind as he’d feigned excitement about the snow with Adam, the pair of them teaming up against Pete and Ross in a snowball fight in their back garden before the four of them teamed together in an effort to build the biggest snowman that the Yorkshire Dales had ever seen.

They’d given up after the snow ball they’d been rolling had collapsed in on itself, and they’d settled for warming up inside with a few beers and the Xbox.

Aaron had felt cripplingly alone, despite being amongst his friends.

The next day the game had been cancelled, and Aaron had struggled to find things to take his mind off Robert all day.

It had only gotten worse for the three days that followed, when the snow fall refused to cease and Aaron found himself snowed in at home with training cancelled day after day, and no prospect of seeing or hearing from Robert at any point.

One of the nights him and Adam had decided to have a few beers, and he’d hoped it would make him relax a little, but his efforts were futile, and he’d found himself just staring at his phone, contemplating reaching out to Robert in the blindly optimistic hope that he might be sat at home waiting for Aaron to contact him.

Aaron hadn’t replied to Robert’s last text, after all.

Adam had noticed, and he’d asked Aaron what had been making him so distant.

“Nothing,” Aaron had lied.

“Bro, don’t give me that,” Adam had encouraged him, concern in his tone. “I can tell when there’s something wrong, because you get that twitch in your eye. Come on, bro, this is me.”

“Just…drop it,” Aaron had pleaded, but he couldn’t deny that wallowing in his own vicious cycle of self-doubt and loathing all by himself wasn’t helping.

He’d just never been very good at talking things through.

“Is it about the guy you had over the other day?” Adam had asked, after a hesitation that Aaron had assumed was due to him second guessing whether asking Aaron about it was a good idea.

Aaron had paused, realising it would take some of the weight off to talk to Adam about it.

“Sort of,” he’d admitted quietly.

“Who was he?” Adam had asked him.

Aaron wasn’t sure Adam would even believe him if he’d told him the truth.

“Just, someone,” Aaron had answered him. “Or no-one,” he’d corrected himself; lied to himself.

Adam had paused, aware he didn’t want to push his friend; aware this was as close to _opening up_ as Aaron Dingle ever got.

“What happened?” Adam had asked, quietly.

Aaron had sighed, arguing with himself about whether it was really a good idea to tell Adam anything.

He’d realised he couldn’t go on battling with it all by himself, though.

“Nothing, really,” Aaron had shrugged. “Well, something, actually, but then his wife called him and it turns out he’s just a spineless, closeted cheat and I was stupid to think he was any different.”

It had felt good to get at least that much off his chest.

“Jeez, sorry mate,” Adam had comforted him with a hand squeezing his shoulder.

“Cheers, I’ll live,” Aaron had thanked him. “Just wish I could forget how much I fancy him.”

He’d muttered it under his breath, and he’d intended it as a joke to lighten the mood, but he’d realised the truth behind it immediately.

The next week had been torture. The snow had taken ages to clear, and the lack of a distraction for Aaron had meant his thoughts had surrounded Robert for much of the time. The club had arranged for the team to train at a new indoor facility closer to the centre of Leeds, aware that the players needed to stay on top of their game seeing as they had four games in the space of twelve days over the upcoming Christmas period.

Aaron hadn’t been able to stop himself from scouring the cars on the car park when he’d arrived at the training centre with Adam, desperate to see Robert’s car parked up alongside the Range Rovers and sports cars.

His heart had skipped a beat when he’d seen it there on that first day back at training.

His eyes had locked on to Robert’s as soon as he’d made his way into the changing rooms.

Robert had held his gaze for an agonizing second, grinding down on his teeth so hard that Aaron had been able to see the clench of his jaw, before he’d torn his gaze away and whispered something to Bob, his newly appointed assistant manager.

Bob had looked surprised, but nodded at Robert nonetheless, before Robert had walked away. That was the last Aaron had seen of Robert that day, and for the rest of that week.

Robert hadn’t been at training for the few days that followed – leaving Bob with strict instructions whilst he looked into scouting a few potential new signings for the club in the January transfer window.

That had been his excuse, anyway.

Aaron suspected he knew precisely why Robert was staying away.

Before long, their next match had come around, and the snow had cleared enough to make sure that the game was back on.

The atmosphere in the dressing room had been heightened – more players than just Aaron having reason to feel a little aggrieved at their boss, seeing as he’d seemed to desert them over the week leading up to the game.

Robert had apologised, sincerely, in the dressing room, and had then done his usual good job in geeing up the team and getting them ready for the onslaught of the game.

Aaron had noticed that Robert avoided his gaze throughout.

It stabbed like a thorn in his side.

They won the game; Aaron got subbed off at half time. He’d barely touched the ball all game; not a single shot on goal.

His mind had clearly been elsewhere, and Robert had taken him off.

Aaron had warmed down, showered, and changed before the game had finished, and he’d skulked off without having to face Robert or the rest of his teammates.

The following days brought little reprise for Aaron. It was always a busy time for footballers over Christmas – and the days had come and gone without drama. Aaron had never been a big fan of Christmas, and Robert had only made Aaron’s anxiety grow more deep-seated with every training session, where their interactions remained as limited as Robert could make them. They’d had a lot of games in quick succession, so training had been short and targeted, focused on precisely what needed to be done, with little time for anything more than barked orders across the pitch and succinct instructions given to the group of players as a whole.

Robert had arrived to training late each day, and left early – leaving Bob to pick up most of the flack when it came to directing the team around.

The games came and went, too – two wins and a draw – and with each passing day Aaron was slowly getting used to seeing Robert and having him give him the cold shoulder – having him treat him like any other member of the team; cold and distant and stark in contrast to the way he’d looked at him and touched him with such warmth and desire in his office not so long before.

He’d gone through dealing with the rejection, and he’d tried to feign indifference when faced with Robert’s complete lack of acknowledgement, or apology, or whatever it was he felt he was owed by him.

He felt like he’d worked his way through the whole spectrum of emotions in relation to Robert – all the way from lust to resentment – but never anywhere near indifference. And now he didn’t know how to feel.

Now, he suspected, he needed to try and get on with his life without Robert.

So he found himself here, sitting in the middle of some packed, pretentious bar in the middle of Leeds on New Years Eve; surrounded by his teammates yet feeling more alone than ever. They had a game in a couple days, so the alcohol consumption was kept to a minimum, and it only made Aaron’s inner turmoil worsen, without being able to dampen it with the numbing sensation of alcohol.

The past three weeks had been torture for him.

He’d taken a couple of days to move past the darkness of his initial reaction to Robert’s torture – refusing to label it as _heartbreak_ – because it couldn’t possibly be that serious after only a few moments together.

Once that darkness had cleared, Aaron moved onto the bitter stab of rejection that coiled in the pit of his stomach, second guessing every conversation he’d ever had with Robert, sure he must have misconstrued how much Robert had wanted him.

He’d moved through the feigned indifference stage; pretending to himself and to others that he was fine.

He just wished he could have also moved past the longing for Robert – the nights when he’d stayed awake and touched himself as he’d thought of his boss – the way he’d kissed him, and the way his body had felt close to him, and the way he’d smelt, and the way Robert had called out his name and cursed him all at the same time, coming undone at the seams at the feel of Aaron’s touch against him.

It had been three weeks, and despite having wanted to move onto the indifference stage, he couldn’t get those thoughts of Robert from his mind.

He checked his phone, to see how much longer he’d need to endure his surroundings before he could make his way home.

It was 11.50.

He sighed, realising as soon as midnight had passed he would be able to make his excuses and drive himself home.

He phone screen lit up as he held it in his hand, and his heart leapt at the name which appeared on his screen.

**_Robert:_ ** _Happy New Year, Aaron x_

He stood and stared at his phone in disbelief, before it lit up again.

**_Robert:_ ** _I’m sorry x_

And Aaron couldn’t explain it, but the only thing he felt in response was the resurgence of the emotion he’d let fester unacknowledged over the previous three weeks.

Anger.

 

 

-s-

 

 

Robert felt arms circling around his waist, and he quickly slipped his phone back into his jacket pocket.

“Guess who?”

He sighed, recognising Chrissie’s voice, ignoring the devil inside of his head which reminded him how much he wanted to feel Aaron’s arms embrace him in that way.

“No idea,” Robert joked, turning himself around and placing a chaste kiss against Chrissie’s lips.

“Sorry for ignoring you all night,” Chrissie purred, looking up at her fiancé sheepishly. “Dad’s been dragging me around to introduce me to all of his associates.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine,” Robert lied, kissing her forehead and pulling her into a hug.

He wasn’t going to admit to her that he’d been bored out of his mind all evening at the New Year’s party he’d been forced to attend at Lawrence’s house, and it had meant his mind had unwittingly wandered to thoughts of the dark haired lad he’d been so busy trying to forget about for the past three weeks.

He wasn’t going to admit to her that he’d been so bored he’d managed to get himself a little further than tipsy, and it had weakened his resolve, and he’d given in to the temptation to reach out to that same lad who was etched into his subconscious.

He wasn’t going to admit to her that all he wanted to do was check his phone to see if Aaron had replied.

Instead, he accepted her request to dance with him at midnight, and he kissed her when the clock struck 12, and he carried her up to bed that night after the effects of too much champagne rendered her legs useless, and he waited until she was softly snoring next to him to check his phone again.

His heart sunk when he saw Aaron hadn’t replied.

He opened up their messages again, wincing at the sight of the text he’d sent Aaron after their _encounter_ in the office three weeks before.

No wonder he wasn’t replying.

He lay in bed and he thought about precisely why he couldn’t blame Aaron for ignoring him.

He remembered how he’d sunk back into his office chair as soon as Aaron had closed the door behind him, flinging his head back against the chair and letting out a growl of frustration with himself; how he’d managed to ruin the moment between the pair of them.

He’d surveyed the room quickly, checking everything was in its rightful place, and he’d been shocked with how soon after Aaron had left that Chrissie arrived.

His stomach had dropped slightly with the realisation of how close she’d been to catching them.

She’d invited him out to lunch, and he’d made his excuses about having too much work on, and she’d left him there in that office, and he’d had to take a moment to collect himself after the panic had subsided, and he’d glanced over at the TV screen that still stood paused on the moment before Aaron’s goal in their previous game.

He’d been so torn up.

He couldn’t believe the way Aaron had made him feel in the moments before he’d been sent into disarray with Chrissie’s imminent arrival. The way Aaron had made his body pulse; the way his breath had hitched in his throat with the promise Aaron had kissed into his body; the way his hands had trailed a path over his skin and made the hair on his body stand to end; the way his lips had left a trail over his skin; the way he’d teased him when he’d stroked on the material of his boxers.

He’d felt his heart start to race all over again as he’d sat in his office, dumbfounded by the hold Aaron seemed to have over him after such a short space of time; unfamiliar with the way he’d seemed to make his way under Robert’s skin so easily; skin that had been still alive with the feel of Aaron’s touch over his body.

He hadn’t been comfortable with it.

He’d played away before – felt the anticipation of something sordid brewing between himself and other men or women he’d met for one night stands; enjoyed the time with it whilst it lasted; and been able to blank them straight from his mind as soon as they left a room.

It wasn’t like that with Aaron.

Aaron had been a constant feature in his mind ever since he’d set eyes on him.

And he knew it hadn’t helped that he’d almost taken what he’d wanted from him moments earlier but been interrupted.

Maybe if he could find a way to just _be_ with him – just once – and feel himself come undone under Aaron’s seemingly expert touch – he’d be able to forget about him and move on.

He’d laughed to himself with that thought.

He’d seriously doubted whether the way to forget about Aaron Dingle was to give himself to him completely and hope that would quench his thirst.

He seriously doubted he’d be able to stop at just one.

There was something different about Aaron. Robert hadn’t been able to place exactly _what_ , but the fact that Robert couldn’t just _walk away_ from him was disconcerting.

And he’d known then that he couldn’t let himself be so weak in front of him again.

He’d realised he had too much to lose – he’d got everything in his life that he needed. He had Chrissie, the beautiful wife-to-be who his father would be proud of; who would leave nobody with any questions about his sexuality when he had her on his arm. He had the job he always wanted, and the respect of Lawrence – his boss and father-in-law to be. He had money, the house, and the car. He was successful.

But it was all linked to Chrissie.

All linked to the one person he would lose if he couldn’t find it in him to control himself around Aaron.

And so he’d known right there in that office, that he didn’t have a choice. He _couldn’t_ let it go any further.

He’d have to stop this thing – whatever it was – in its tracks; before it properly started.

And so he’d picked up his phone, and he’d called Chrissie, and he’d told her that he would join her for lunch after all. He’d spent the entire car journey to the restaurant deep in thought, fighting a battle with himself, the devil on his shoulder reminding him of the way Aaron had touched him; the promise in his eyes as his lips had worked their way down his body; the softness of his hair as he’d run his fingers through it; the lines of his body as he’d stood in front of him in his office; the prickling desire that had run over Robert’s body; the way he’d been so hard for him so quickly; so in need of what Aaron was about to give to him.

He’d been sure it would kill him, but he had to put an end to it.

He’d picked up his phone as soon as he’d parked his car in the car park at the restaurant, and he’d typed out 5 versions of the same message to Aaron, and he’d fought against every nerve in his body which ached for him to not press send; and he’d never felt regret quite like it when he saw the two blue ticks appear to let him know that Aaron had received and read his message.

_Today was a mistake. I love Chrissie, and I don’t know what I was thinking. Let’s just forget it ever happened._

He’d left his phone in the car then, and he’d bitten down on his lip to help himself to forget; and he’d walked into the restaurant and sat down with Chrissie, and he’d ignored the realisation that it was Aaron’s face that flashed through his mind when he’d closed his eyes to kiss Chrissie.

He’d been thankful for the snow the next day, giving him an excuse to keep away from Aaron.

He’d been more than aware of the fact that it hadn’t stopped his mind from plaguing him with memories of Aaron in his office the day before, though.

Chrissie had kept him busy with jobs around the house – not that Robert was ever any good with things like that, but he’d managed to muddle through – and he was relieved too when the club made the decision to cancel the game the following day.

When the snow kept falling and training kept being cancelled, he’d found himself getting worked up more easily with every passing second – constantly checking his phone; itching to reach out to Aaron. He hadn’t been sure what he’d say – whether an apology would even be welcome after what he’d sent him after their _moment_ in his office – but his mind frame had been becoming increasingly more agitated with thoughts of the way Aaron must have hated him, and he’d yearned to see him.

He’d known that he couldn’t reach out to him – couldn’t be so weak as to give in to his temptation just days after having the strength to break away from him – but he’d wanted to. He’d wanted it so badly.

He’d urged Lawrence to find somewhere the team could train indoors as the snow kept falling, and he’d found the place by himself, and he’d wanted to see Aaron more than anything as he’d made his way there early on that first day back at training.

He’d been in the changing rooms waiting for the team to arrive, and then Aaron had walked in, and Robert’s breath had caught in his throat.

He’d locked eyes with him.

He’d had to clench his jaw tightly to stop himself from bursting into a grin at the sight of him; or to stop himself from launching towards him to kiss those lips he’d spent days thinking about.

But instead of seeing any form of promise reflected back in Aaron’s eyes, all he had seen was anger, and resentment.

And he’d known then.

He’d blown it.

He hadn’t been able to take it, so he’d told Bob to handle the training session, and to make sure they put into action everything they’d discussed in their meeting the previous day, and he’d stormed out of that changing room, livid with only one person.

Himself.

He’d kicked the cones that lay in the corridor outside of the training room, and he’d walked away with a heavy heart.

So he’d kept away.

He’d managed to persuade Lawrence that he needed to go and scout players that the club could look to buy in the January transfer window, and he’d made himself scarce for those few days in the hope of getting Aaron Dingle out of his system.

He’d known it was futile the second he’d set eyes on him again.

He’d been aware too of the shift in the dressing room when he returned – that the rest of the team were less than impressed at Robert’s disappearing act – and he’d realised that he hadn’t even passed a thought towards the remainder of the squad; or the upcoming games, either.

He hadn’t been able to focus on anything besides Aaron.

He’d forced himself to barely acknowledged Aaron at training though. He’d wanted nothing more than to be able to take him by the hand and drag him somewhere more private and apologise to him in the best way he could think of, and he’d dreamt about the sounds he could tear from Aaron’s filthy mouth as he made him know exactly how sorry he was.

But he couldn’t do that.

He couldn’t _let himself_ do that.

So he’d been as professional as he could be - only addressing Aaron to give him directions for training, and letting Bob do the majority of the work in the training sessions so that he could avoid the way that Aaron looked at him like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe – and he’d actually let himself think that he was coping with it.

He’d been turning up to training at the last minute in order to avoid bumping into Aaron beforehand; and he’d left without saying goodbye to avoid the death stares Aaron had seemed to become so fond of shooting in his direction.

He’d been in a silent state of turmoil since he’d tried to convince himself that he could live without taking what he needed from Aaron.

A constant state of _want,_ and _need,_ and _dissatisfaction;_ mouth dry with a thirst he hadn’t been able to quench.

And yet he’d let himself believe that it would get better; that this yearning for Aaron would diminish and cease in time.

But now it was New Year’s Eve.

He was stood in the middle of a room full of people he had nothing in common with, and no inclination to spend any time getting to know, and he was four whiskies in and his judgement was starting to cloud.

He was starting to question the likelihood of him being able to keep away from Aaron, indefinitely.

And he was starting to question whether he really _wanted_ this life he’d been so desperate to protect.

He thought about the hell he’d put himself through trying to keep himself away from Aaron, and he realised he wasn’t sure it was all worth it. He knew he’d spent so long trying to build this life for himself with Chrissie, but he hadn’t been able to shake the thought that when he’d been in his office with Aaron, he’d felt something he didn’t think he’d ever be capable of, and something he’d never felt with Chrissie.

Something like _belonging._

His heart was racing, but he knew he couldn’t pretend for a second longer that he was capable of keeping himself away from Aaron.

He made his way into Lawrence’s kitchen where he could have a little peace and quiet, and he took his phone out of his pocket.

He hesitated.

He wanted nothing more than to call Aaron. His resolve was weakened, and he wanted to hear his voice, and he wanted to tell him he was sorry – for everything – and he wanted to hear Aaron tell him that he forgave him.

But he wasn’t sure it would go like that.

In fact, he was pretty sure it wouldn’t.

He couldn’t face the sound of Aaron rejecting him; the anger seeping into his voice as he did so.

So he chose the somewhat easier route to letting Aaron know he was sorry.

He quickly typed out a text message to him, trying to keep it as casual as possible.

_Happy New Year, Aaron x_

He pressed send, and instantly winced with how _heartless_ his words seemed; especially being the first time he’d reached out to Aaron since his previous text three weeks ago, which he winced as he read in the message thread above.

He knew he owed Aaron an apology.

So he sent him one.

His heart flipped when the word ‘online’ appeared below Aaron’s name at the top of their message thread.

He saw those familiar two blue ticks appear next to the message, letting him know once more than Aaron had read his messages.

He watched the screen with intent for a few minutes as nothing changed; and then his insides sank to his feet when Aaron went back offline without replying to him.

And that’s when she appeared, circling her arms around him,

“Guess who?”

There she was.

The reason he’d had to push Aaron away.

He felt the stab of resentment towards her, and he it knew then.

He was in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst :/ I figured there wouldn't be enough for us this week...


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry you've had to wait for this one (especially after I said last time the update would be sooner - oops!). I got a little preoccupied with Robron Week fic.
> 
> Will try and update again in the week :)
> 
> Thanks as always for comments & kudos you lovely bunch x
> 
> Oh, and an angst warning here btw :/

** Chapter 8 **

Aaron’s New Year’s Day hangover only vaguely masked the whole different kind of pain coursing through his veins.

He refused to label it, but his subconscious poked away at him relentlessly over the course of the morning to remind him about the ache inside of his heart, and precisely who’d inflicted it upon him.

He hadn’t text his boss back the night before – in fact, he’d left the bar as soon as he’d seen Robert’s text, 10 minutes before midnight, and without saying goodbye to anyone. He’d driven home at one level above boy racer, and he’d drowned himself in whisky when he’d got home in a desperate attempt to let himself sleep, and he’d thrown his phone across the room as he’d lain in bed in a desperate attempt to stop himself from replying to the messages.

A part of him resented that one feeble attempt from Robert to reach out to him had him feeling so helpless; so unable to resist.

When he’d woken up, he’d gone to salvage his phone from where it lay abandoned at the foot of his bed, and his heart skipped a beat at the 12 message and 3 voicemails on the screen.

He scrolled through them, but the reluctant bubbling excitement inside of him died down when he saw the succession of messages from Adam, Ross and Pete – and nothing more from Robert.

“Dick,” he said out loud, to nobody in particular.

Perhaps it was aimed at himself.

He felt that resentment surfacing again inside of him.

He tried to ignore it – tried to direct his thoughts towards anything other than Robert Sugden – but every fibre of his being seemed to want to defy him.

He stripped and went to take a shower, feeling the warm water cascading over him, washing away the remnants of his despair from the night before; cleansing his pores from the alcohol that seemed to seep out of them.

He winced through the thud of his hangover headache, full of regret with the fact that he had to go to training in an hour and face Robert.

He shouldn’t have drunk anything the night before – and he’d been so good all night, sticking to orange juice as he knew he was driving, and the rest of the team had been on shandy too, with tomorrow’s game in the forefront of their minds.

He only wished he’d been able to stick to orange juice once he’d got home.

He closed off the water, grabbed a towel and dried himself, before tying it low against his hips.

He was padding back along the carpet on their landing when he felt the cold air circle him, followed instantly by Adam’s booming laugh as he realised he’d been shed of the towel hiding his modesty.

“What the fu-“

“Sorry mate, couldn’t resist!” Adam laughed as Aaron turned to face him – hand hiding his modesty.

Aaron grabbed the towel back from his best mate, who stood doubled over in laughter in the door to his bedroom. He whipped the towel against Adam’s shoulder playfully before quickly wrapping it back around himself to protect his modesty once more.

It was a typical Adam move, and seeing as they’d spent years in the showers of changing rooms together he could hardly admit to being embarrassed about being naked in front of his best mate.

Still, it’s not what you expect at 9am on New Year’s Day when you’re nursing some godawful hangover you’re not sure was caused more by the half bottle of whiskey you managed to sink in the early hours, or the constant reminder circling around your mind that the man you’d spent weeks avoiding had tried to worm his way back into your life the night before.

“You’re such a dick,” Aaron admonished his friend lightly, smirk playing out over his face.

He retreated back to his room, but soon realised Adam had followed him through and was leaning up against the door frame as Aaron sifted through his drawers and wardrobe to find his training gear.

“So what happened to you last night?” Adam questioned, almost reluctant. “Almost worried you’d been kidnapped in the boot of a car by some psycho until I realised it’s you and you’d probably just gone off in a huff somewhere.”

There was a lightness to his tone, but Aaron shot him a frown nonetheless.

“Was not in a huff,” he muttered.

“Oh right, so where did you go then?” Adam questioned him with a roll of the eyes. “One second you were there, and then I tried to find you at midnight for the little song thing and you’d disappeared.”

He was met with silence in reply.

“Meet someone for a smooch when the clock struck 12 did ya?” Adam teased.

He got a pair of socks thrown at his chest in return.

“Get lost,” Aaron answered him, sardonically.

“Aww, what’s up, have I hit a nerve?” Adam was laughing, but he had no idea how close he was to the truth.

“Just piss off and let me get dressed, yeah?” Aaron rolled his eyes. “I know you’re desperate to see me naked again but I ain’t getting dressed with you there so off you go.”

Adam threw the socks back at his best mate.

“Fine, if you don’t wanna tell me but I will find out, Dingle,” Adam teased, a promise behind his words as he retreated back to his own room to finish getting ready.

“No you won’t,” Aaron muttered to himself.

“I heard that! And I will!” Adam called back down the hallway, and there was an air of conviction to his tone which made Aaron’s stomach sink.

He knew Adam had a way of getting information out of him, and he knew he couldn’t tell him the truth about him and Robert, and whatever it was that was happening between them.

He sighed, and quickly dressed in his training gear before popping a couple of Anadin and steeling himself for the day ahead.

He took one more look at his phone, and hesitated over his message icon.

He thought better of it, and slipped his phone back into the pocket of his tracksuit bottoms before making his way down to the kitchen in search of bacon.

 

 

-s

 

 

Aaron was fully expecting the cold shoulder from Robert at training. He’d ignored the texts Robert had sent him the night before, and he had nothing else to go off other than their jilted fumble in Robert’s office three weeks ago and then Robert’s persistence in avoiding Aaron in every situation since then. He was expecting some kind of backlash from Robert – some disbelief that Aaron could have the nerve to ignore him like he did; like he should have been falling down at his feet in thanks that Robert was reaching out to him last night or something.

What he wasn’t expecting, was for Robert to look straight up at him and to smile in his direction as soon as he walked into the changing rooms.

Well, that was a turn of events.

And damnit, why did he have to be so gorgeous?

Aaron tried to pretend his heart hadn’t lurched into his throat at the sight of it – that he hadn’t felt the fizzle of anticipation rising inside his stomach at the suggestion in Robert’s smile; that he wasn’t having to force himself not to get lost in those blue-grey eyes and with the memories of the way his eyelids had blinked back at him in awe when he’d had Robert pinned to his desk all those weeks ago.

He tried to pretend that one small smile in his direction didn’t dissipate any shred of anger he’d had lingering since the night before; since three weeks before.

Aaron glared back, biting the inside of his gums to stop himself from returning the smile like it seemed his instincts felt compelled to do, and he tore his gaze away from Robert as quickly as he could, focusing on changing into his football boots with his gaze fixed firmly to the floor.

He could feel Robert’s presence in the room the whole time; could sense his gaze flittering in his direction every few seconds; sure he could hear Robert’s heart beating from the other side of the changing rooms, louder even than the rest of his teammates shredding banter at one another in their usual way.

He hoped his veil of disinterest had masked the fact that his whole body seemed to be sparking into life with something he’d spent weeks aching for; spent weeks willing himself to forget about.

He glanced up, and saw through the assembled groups of his teammates in the changing room that Robert was looking back in his direction, and their eyes met across the room.

He noticed how Robert’s lips curled up into a smile, and Robert flicked his head to the side, in some sort of invitation for Aaron to meet him outside; away from prying eyes.

Aaron felt his lips threaten to twitch upwards, so he sucked his bottom lip in and bit down on it roughly and felt the clench of his jaw, and he broke Robert’s gaze without a hint of a response to his invitation, and he sat back down on the benches in an act of defiance.

He wasn’t going to let himself get played like this.

He couldn’t.

He wasn’t going to deny that being with Robert the other week hadn’t felt like some slice of heaven on earth, and that he hadn’t been desperate for a repeat of it for so long since then.

But he wasn’t going to be treated like a fool.

He wasn’t going to stand for being dropped like yesterday’s news, or ignored for weeks on end, only to be picked back up again whenever Robert felt like it. Even if he let himself believe he could handle being a _bit on the side_ in some sordid affair, he wasn’t going to lower himself to that standard for a man who couldn’t even admit to himself who he was.

Aaron Dingle didn’t get _used_ like that.

Certainly not by Robert Sugden.

Aaron sensed movement in his peripheral vision, and glanced up to see Robert making his way over to him.

He darted out of the changing room and onto the training pitch quicker than he realised he was capable of moving – especially with his lingering hangover – but his intent on avoiding any kind of interaction with Robert seemed to allow him to move at a quicker pace.

He told himself it was because his increasing levels of anger towards his boss meant he didn’t trust himself to speak with him or act in a way which could be considered professional.

He ignored that his subconscious tapped him repeatedly on the shoulder, reminding him it was a wholly different kind of unprofessional behaviour he didn’t trust himself to refrain from.

The thought spiralled through his mind throughout the training session.

Training seemed harder than usual, and Aaron realised precisely why all of the coaching staff at the club were so insistent on restricting alcohol intake in the run up to a game – he could tell his performance was off, and he refused to believe there would be any other reason he was getting put off his game.

His movements were more laboured that usual, and his reactions completely off. He’d misplaced his passes all through training, and he hadn’t been able to beat Ross Barton in his defensive run when he’d usually wipe the floor with him. His muscles started to tire far quicker than usual, and he knew he’d be aching within a few hours of practice finishing.

It made him dread the game the next day, knowing he wouldn’t have time for his body to fully recover before then. The crowds at the games had been better – his coming out becoming old news, somewhat – but he was desperate to avoid anything that could trigger a backlash from the fans. Anything short of a spotless performance, and he knew either set of fans would feel they had some ammunition to target him; single him out and use his sexuality as an excuse to try and get on his back.

He resented that none of his teammates had to deal with the same concerns.

He was strong enough to deal with it, though, and he knew he had weathered the worst of the storm so far.

The lack of his usual finesse on the field hadn’t gone unnoticed by his teammates, though, and he’d been the brunt of their jibes throughout the training session. He’d heard Robert shout over a few orders during the training match, but it had only made him less motivated to do as his boss told him.

He was thankful when Bob blew his whistle and Robert called the team in for some feedback and a warm down at the end of the training session; he wasn’t sure his body could take any more of the suffering.

He kept his head down in the team talk, as usual, and he avoided trying to figure out if Robert was playing hot or cold with him, and he thought he’d managed to successfully slink off at the end of the training session, until he heard his name called out from behind him as he walked towards the changing rooms.

“Aaron!”

The sound of his voice was unmistakeable, and it made Aaron unwittingly clench his jaw and inhale through his gritted teeth.

“Aaron, a word?” Robert called out to him again, his voice closer this time as if he was making his way towards Aaron.

“Fucks sake,” Aaron muttered under his breath, and Adam shoved him playfully on the shoulder.

“Probably in for a bollocking about being a hungover mess, you muppet,” Adam teased him. “Good luck!”

Aaron rolled his eyes in return and shot him an unimpressed look as Adam disappeared back into the changing rooms with the rest of the team.

Aaron turned to face Robert, glancing around the pitch to realise it was just the two of them.

Robert Sugden gets what he wants again, it seemed.

“What?” Aaron snapped as he sauntered towards Robert.

Robert stood with his hands in the pockets of his burgundy body warmer, long sleeved blue jumper covering his impressive biceps.

It wasn’t exactly training ground gear – not like the regulation club-issued trackies and t-shirt that Aaron wore – but then Robert Sugden wasn’t exactly one to break a sweat during training.

“That’s no way to speak to your boss, is it?” Robert smirked back at him, and Aaron felt that anger bubbling up inside of him again at the arrogance of this man.

He grunted in return; needed Robert to know he wasn’t impressed, and he certainly wasn’t going to fall back at his feet again in a hurry.

Robert frowned, realising he had his work cut out.

He knew Aaron was going to be mad at him – he may not have been able to claim to know the inner workings of Aaron’s mind yet, but one thing he did know for certain was that Aaron Dingle wasn’t the kind of guy you could mess around and get away with it.

He stood his ground, and expected the best in people, and he’d call out anyone who offered him anything less than that.

If Robert was going to be honest with himself, it was one of the qualities that was drawing him closer and closer into Aaron’s orbit each time he saw him.

That, combined with the way he looked at him sometimes with those bright blue eyes, and the way his hands had sparked his body into life in a way Robert hadn’t fully experienced in years – if at all – when he’d taken his body to pieces in his office those weeks ago, leaving behind nothing but a thirst for more of what he’d started.

Robert knew he’d made a mistake that day – and that every rational part of him would tell him the mistake had been to give in to the temptation of Aaron. Except, it felt in his heart like the biggest mistake had been that text he’d sent Aaron afterwards; that he’d let himself have a taste of Aaron and then he’d pushed him away again; that the real crime had been to turn his back on whatever feelings Aaron had managed to summon up inside of him.

He’d known it, deep down, ever since he’d pressed send on his text message.

He’d been angry with himself, and he’d told himself it was because he’d let Aaron kiss him the way he had done, but he’d known, really – in the recesses of his soul – that he was mad at himself for pushing Aaron away.

He knew it was a pretence he wouldn’t be able to keep up.

He’d been reminded of it every time he’d had to walk out of a room that he could feel Aaron’s presence in; and he’d known it every time he’d stayed away from training through the fear of having to confront everything about himself that Aaron made him question; and he’d known it every time he’d watched Aaron from afar in training, and how his insides had lurched when his top had ridden up to expose the definition of the muscles on his torso, and how much he wanted to run his tongue along the indent of his thigh muscles each time he watched him run for the ball.

He knew resistance was futile.

It had just taken a few weeks to get his head around it.

But he’d stood at that party the night before – surrounded by Chrissie and Lawrence and a plethora of other faceless business associates he had absolutely no interest in entertaining – and he realised there was only one person he’d wanted to see at midnight.

And he knew it might have been the drink talking the night before, but when he’d woken up the next morning and immediately checked for a reply before his conscience had even stirred awake, he realised he couldn’t stop himself any longer.

He needed Aaron.

He needed to quench this thirst he had for him.

And he knew it might take more than once, but he had to let himself give in to what his whole body was crying out for, otherwise he’d send himself insane with denial.

He might have his work cut out, but he had one thing on his mind, and he was currently stood before him in the middle of the training pitch, arms folded, kicking at the mud with his football boots.

“Are you just gonna stand there?” Robert asked, with some misguided sense that it was Aaron that needed to start this all off.

He’d apologised to Aaron the night before, after all.

Aaron looked up at him with a frown, huffing out a laugh in disbelief and shaking his head at him.

“You want me to start?” Aaron asked him, incredulous.

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened,” Robert offered, taking a couple of paces forwards to close the distance between them.

Aaron took the same number of paces backwards, away from him.

“Yeah, I got your text,” Aaron said dismissively, as if it meant nothing to him.

Even he didn’t believe it.

“Oh right, except you didn’t text me back?” Robert questioned, exposing the undercurrent of disappointment.

Aaron shook his head again and laughed lightly.

“So, what is this then, Robert?” Aaron questioned him, holding his gaze suddenly, hands out to his sides as he waited for Robert’s explanation. “Let’s start again and forget anything ever happened? Let’s wipe the slate clean? New year, new us, eh? Let’s keep it professional? Let’s pretend you’re not avoiding me every time I walk into a room –”

“No,” Robert stopped him mid-rant.

Aaron kicked the ground at his feet, shaking his head.

“It’s not any of that, Aaron,” Robert admitted, and he stepped forwards again to close the gap between them once more, encouraged that Aaron stayed in position this time instead of backing away from him.

Aaron looked up at him, holding his gaze and relaxing his arms to his side.

“What is it then?” he asked, quietly, and there was an air of vulnerability about it that made Robert’s insides jolt with some urge to protect the man stood before him.

Robert sighed, swaying on his feet as if he was looking around for the words he couldn’t seem to muster.

It wasn’t like him.

“I just…” he paused, unaware of how he was exactly going to phrase this. “I just wanted to say sorry, I guess.”

Aaron grimaced, returning his gaze to his feet on the ground.

 “Well, I got that with your drunk dialling last night, didn’t I?” Aaron muttered.

“I wasn’t drunk dialling, Aaron,” Robert lied, but the sentiment was true. It might have been alcohol giving him the courage to reach out to Aaron, but he was only saying what he’d spent the sober part of the last three weeks wanting to say. “Didn’t reply, though, did you?”

Robert was testing the water, smiling as he tried to tease Aaron, but the expression he got back in return told him he’d misjudged it.

“You can’t leave me hanging for three weeks and then drunk text me Robert, and expect me to come crawling back,” Aaron snapped at him, and it was cold and distant. “You can’t treat people like that.”

“Aaron, I meant it, and I wasn’t drunk dialling,” Robert insisted, voice soft and genuine, and it felt unfamiliar to him. “I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done what I did –”

“Which part, Robert?” Aaron interrupted him, and there was venom in his words now, and he edged forwards to get up in Robert’s faced as he continued. “Which part, eh? The part where you insulted me over dinner with your fiancé? Or when you made it pretty obvious you fancied me right on this training pitch with your wandering hands? Or when you kissed me in your office and nearly let me blow you on your desk? Or the part where you completely ignored me for three weeks because you were scared I’d run off and tell your little wifey?”

“She’s not my wife,” Robert interjected.

“Oh, and that’s the part you decide to respond to!” Aaron laughed, flinging his arms up and turning away from Robert as if he was appealing for support from some imaginary audience.

“I’m done,” Aaron spat the words at him with vitriol, before turning to walk back towards the changing rooms.

“Aaron, please,” Robert called out after him, picking up the pace until he caught up with Aaron and pulling him back by his arm. “Please, can we just start over?”

Aaron laughed at the audacity of it, shrugging his arm out of Robert’s grasp as he stopped and turned back to face his boss again.

“Are you for real?” he asked him in disbelief.

Robert didn’t know how to answer.

“Look, we’ve got to work together,” Robert reasoned, greeted with an Aaron Dingle eye-roll in return. “We need to draw a line under it and move on.”

Aaron scrubbed a hand against his face.

“Oh right, OK, yeah, sure,” Aaron shrugged, unable to ignore the stab of disappointment that settled inside of him; not able to deny that on some level he’d hoped this conversation would have been Robert’s way of trying to seduce him again.

As if he’d read his thoughts, Robert closed the distance between them once more, and ran his arm down Aaron’s side.

“Come on, Aaron, please,” Robert pleaded, and his voice was soft now, and it made Aaron have to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Don’t be like this.”

Aaron flinched away from Robert’s touch – couldn’t let himself be weak against the undeniable pull Robert held against him. He pulled back from Robert’s touch, ignoring the goose bumps that had ridden down his forearm from where his boss had lain his hands on him.

Aaron looked behind him instinctively; checking nobody had seen the tiny shred of intimacy between them; fully aware of the consequences of someone finding out about them.

It would certainly mean they could never let it happen again, and even in his state of resentment Aaron wasn’t sure that was something he really wanted to have to face.

Aaron sighed, and allowed himself to look up at Robert, standing slightly taller than him and inappropriately close.

He let his eyes lock onto the blue-grey of Robert’s gaze, and he exhaled in anticipation of what he thought Robert was about to say.

No words fell from him, but Aaron felt like his eyes told him everything he needed to know in that moment, and he didn’t want to break away.

He could see it – he was sure he could see it – somewhere deep in the gaze they held between them in that moment.

The same sense of longing, and wanting, and needing that he felt towards Robert, reflected right back at him from Robert’s gaze.

He bit his bottom lip, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat, and he let Robert reach out and place a hand against his forearm again, and he didn’t flinch away from it this time.

“What is this Robert?” he whispered out, and they were close enough that Robert could hear every word.

“What?” Robert responded, as if he wasn’t stood in the middle of the training pitch inappropriately close to one of his players, fingers subtly stroking against the hairs on Aaron’s forearm.

“This,” Aaron asked, gaze flicking to Robert’s hands against his skin momentarily before returning to meet Robert’s eyes once more. “Is this you trying to make it happen again?” he asked softly, expectantly.

He saw Robert clench his jaw and look away from him.

He took Robert’s hesitation as a denial of his intentions, and it reminded him all over again why he’d spent the last three weeks in a state of flux over this man who seemed intent on playing with his emotions.

“Or is this you trying to keep me sweet so I don’t run off and tell Chrissie exactly why I was so pissed off when I ran into her in the corridor outside your office the other week?”

Aaron’s words stabbed through their embrace like a knife, and Robert pulled away from him slightly, letting go of Aaron’s arm as he retreated.

“What?” Robert frowned, taken aback by the quick switch in Aaron’s tone.

“You heard,” Aaron muttered under his breath.

“You wouldn’t,” Robert replied; half-questioning, half-asserting.

“You sure about that?” Aaron taunted him, holding his gaze in some kind of stand-off.

The tension between them was palpable, but neither of them made a move to leave; clear they hadn’t finished with each other yet.

It was Robert that broke first, glancing around to check they were still alone before closing the distance between them again and hesitantly bringing his hands up to Aaron’s chest, stroking at the cheap polyester material of his club jersey.  He half expected Aaron to tense up and push him away on instinct, but he visibly noticed the way that Aaron turned in to his touch, his shoulders falling slightly as if Robert’s palms against his chest had relaxed him in some way.

“Aaron, please don’t be like this,” Robert pleaded softly, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

“Like what, Robert?” Aaron questioned, as if he was immune to the mutual longing between them.

Robert huffed out a laugh.

“Like this, Aaron!” he repeated, “I’m not on my own here, I know I’m not.”

Aaron could see it in Robert’s eyes then; was close enough to be able to read his expression, and he knew then he couldn’t question that Robert wanted him just as much as he wanted Robert.

“I’m not following, Robert,” he lied, attempting to retain some essence of coyness despite fearing his body was giving away his need for Robert to push him; despite his heart beat no doubt giving away his emotions with its increased rhythm against his chest where Robert’s palms lay.

“I can’t get you out of my head, Aaron,” Robert admitted, quietly, almost apologetically. Aaron’s breath hitched in his throat with the admission. “And I’ve seen the way you look at me, Aaron, and I know you feel it too.”

Aaron broke their gaze to shake his head in disbelief.

“You’re so arrogant, do you know that?” he stated, and there was only a hint of distaste in his words. “You’re unbelievable.”

Robert smiled, and Aaron swallowed down as he felt Robert’s left hand creep up towards his neck, and hold his jawline gently; Aaron leaning into his touch instinctively.

“You gonna deny it then?” Robert asked, and his voice was so full of promise that Aaron couldn’t stop the small smile from breaking out over his face.

Aaron couldn’t deny it; didn’t even feel the need to try.

“Come on, Aaron,” Robert purred as he slid his other hand around Aaron’s waist and pulled him closer, eyes full of lust and longing.

Aaron was tempted – more so than he’d ever been before in his life – but he couldn’t help but be hesitant. There was a reluctance burning through him; some underlying doubt about Robert’s true intentions; some hesitance telling him that this was a really bad idea, and that he knew he couldn’t ignore.

He already couldn’t handle the way Robert made him feel; already helpless in his ability to resist the pull he felt towards Robert Sugden, and a voice inside of him reminded him of the past three weeks, and how he had been to hell and back trying to forget the way Robert had made him feel when they’d kissed.

He wasn’t sure he was ready to put himself through experiencing that again, only to lose it all over again.

He knew Robert was engaged, and knew there was nothing that was going to change that.

He knew he had to try to be strong, to save himself.

He knew he had to resist.

He knew Robert’s face was closing the distance between them, and he knew exactly what he wanted to take from him as Robert’s finger traced lightly against the stubble on the side of his cheek, but he knew that there was lingering doubt inside of him that reminded him that Robert would be back in Chrissie’s arms as soon as he was done with him, and the reminder of it made him turn his lips away from Robert’s kiss with just millimetres between them; so close that he could feel the soft touch of Robert’s kiss against the stubble of his cheek as he turned away from him.

“Don’t,” Aaron begged, and there was a desperation in his tone that he was sure he’d never heard on his own lips before.

Robert exhaled, and leant forwards to rest his forehead against Aaron’s cheek in realisation that Aaron had denied him the one thing he wanted – _needed –_ more than anything in that moment.

“Why?” Robert whispered out, and there was such desperation behind it that Aaron felt a stab of regret deep inside of him, and an urge to turn his face back around and to push his lips against Robert’s.

He resisted the urge though, and he pulled himself out of Robert’s embrace, and he took a step backwards to create some physical distance between them, as it seemed the emotional distance was becoming more impossible.

“Aaron, please,” Robert begged as he tried to pull Aaron back towards him, but Aaron recoiled once more, adamant in his refusal of Robert’s advances.

“You don’t get it do you Robert?” Aaron admitted, and his voice was low and pleading, and he caught Robert’s gaze and knew for certain he didn’t get it.

The pause between them was heated and heavy with the weight of everything they needed to say to one another.

“Get what?” Robert questioned, giving up the game and letting his hands fall back down to his sides.

“It’s not a game –”

“Who said it was?” Robert interjected, unsure why Aaron would have that impression.

“You’re not the one being played though, are you, Robert?” Aaron admitted, and there was a coldness to his words that made Robert flinch and retreat away from him slightly, returning his hands to the pockets of his body warmer.

“Do you know what it’s like to get _used,_ Robert?” Aaron continued. “Picked up like some play thing and then dropped when it’s not convenient anymore? It feels pretty shitty, Robert, and I ain’t gonna let you mess me around –”

“I’m not messing you around – ”

“Well it feels a lot like you are!” Aaron insisted, shaking his head. “You’re all hot one minute and cold the next, and you’re only after one thing here, let’s be honest, and then what have I got to look forward to? Another three weeks of being frozen out like it’s nothing. I don’t want that, Robert, and I won’t stand for it.”

“Don’t be like this, Aaron,” Robert replied, and there was something dismissive about his tone that raised the hackles on Aaron’s back.

“Don’t be like what?” Aaron questioned, affronted.

“All…sensitive,” Robert replied, condescendingly.

The frown on Robert’s face only served to cement his smug disapproval of Aaron’s words, and it was enough to make Aaron see red; for the anger he’d been battling with over the past three weeks to flood out of him; for that coiled resentment to spring forth from him and fire itself in the direction of this arrogant man stood before him.

“Sensitive?” Aaron raged at him, and there was a bitterness to his tone that took Robert back slightly. “Sensitive? Fucking hell, Robert! You’re a joke. All over me like a rash until we nearly get caught, and then you’re bricking it thinking she’s gonna find out? You’re meant to be getting _married_ Robert, isn’t that meant to mean something? Or is everything just a big game to you? You want me to be your bit on the side, yeah? What happens when she finds out? And she will, Robert, I promise you that –”

“What’s that meant to mean?” Robert interrupted him, eyes narrowing in response to the sudden fit of rage that Aaron seemed to be in the midst of.

“You know,” Aaron taunted him, snarling.

“No, go on,” Robert pushed, his own tone turning to one of anger now. “That’s the second time you’ve brought up telling her. Is that meant to be a threat?”

Aaron laughed under his breath, curling his lip in disgust at the fact that Robert clearly didn’t see how his constant concern over keeping his secret was only igniting the fire of rage within Aaron.

“Take from it what you want, Robert,” Aaron seethed at him. “I haven’t got time for this. I’m not interested, and it’s never happening again, so you can take your apology, and you can shove it wherever the fuck you like, Robert, and don’t even think about coming begging me for more like this again because I won’t hesitate to wipe that smug smile of your face, do you understand?”

“Aaron, don’t you –” Robert ordered.

“Leave it!” Aaron dismissed him; patience finally worn thin.

And with that, Aaron turned on his heels and walked away, leaving Robert stood in the middle of the training field with a seething pit of rage bubbling inside of him.

 

 

-s-

 

 

Robert had paced out on the training field for a good few minutes in an effort to calm himself down.

He’d been confused about the way Aaron had flipped at him so suddenly, and he didn’t want to believe that Aaron could hate him enough to tell Chrissie about the two of them, but he couldn’t get the lad’s venomous expression out his mind; couldn’t ignore the fact that Aaron Dingle was a man of principle, and that maybe exposing Robert as a cheat was one of the principles he was intent on keeping.

He was spiralling – mind working a mile a minute to try and quell his panicking state; anxiety creeping through as he tried to picture Chrissie’s reaction, and what he’d need to say to convince her it wasn’t true; how he’d have to tell her Aaron was angry with her for some reason, and that he would be making up lies about him in some desperate attempt to get revenge on him for something.

Only, why would Aaron be angry with him?

He couldn’t tell her the _real_ reason, so scoured his mind, trying desperately to come up with some plan, to find something that would be believable enough that Chrissie wouldn’t question Aaron’s need to get revenge over him.

His brain kicked into gear as he realised what he could use, recognising a plan as it formed in his mind. He knew there was one thing that was more important to Aaron than anything else; one thing that Aaron would be incensed at the thought of losing; one thing that Robert had the power to take away from him.

Football.

Robert needed to drop Aaron from the team.

He’d put his plan into action before he’d even had a chance to think about the consequences – to hell with them – he knew he needed to do something drastic to make it believable to Chrissie.

And he knew if Aaron got the news before he’d had a chance to tell Chrissie, then this would only serve to remind Aaron how much power Robert had over him, and how he should think twice before double crossing his manager like he was clearly planning to.

He didn’t usually submit his final team sheet until the morning of the match, but he had it on his desk already, and he took his pen and quickly wrote out the usual list of names.

When it came to Aaron’s usual spot, he grimaced as he wrote out the name of one of the usual substitutes, and then filled their place on the subs bench with a new signing from the academy team.

He left Aaron’s name out of the team completely.

He photocopied the team sheet quickly, and left his office to distribute the copies in all of the usual official places – one with Lawrence, one in the referee’s room, one with the media team, one with the stadium announcer, and one in his assistant manager’s office.

As he left the training ground for the day, he tried desperately to ignore the growing feeling of dread that roused up inside of him; a growing realisation that he knew he’d made a terrible mistake.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to dedicate this chapter to the amazing smugfacesuggle who created an amazing art work for this fic - thank you so much lovely! 
> 
> Sorry it's been such a long time coming - basically you should never trust me when I say I'll update soon! Also sorry that this is a ridiculously long chapter = I should have broken it into two really, but I thought I'd just give it to you all at once!
> 
> Spoiler alert - bit NSFW towards the end ;)

** Chapter 9 **

“You’ve not had your latte yet this morning, have you?”

Robert frowned.

He looked over at his assistant manager with a mixture of confusion and disdain, unsure why he was being questioned about his caffeine intake when he’d only just walked through the door.

And of course Bob had got his coffee choice wrong, again.

“The teamsheet,” Bob clarified in response to the frown of confusion he read on Robert.

“I don’t follow,” Robert lied, as if he hadn’t spent all night questioning his own actions.

“You’ve left Aaron off it, you numpty. Not even put him on the bench –”

“That’s right,” Robert interrupted him, not keeping eye contact with Bob long enough to see his reaction, but well aware that he would most likely be stood, mouth agape, trying to understand just what could have cost Aaron his place on the team.

“But – why? I don’t get it,” Bob questioned innocently. “I know he’s been a bit off but you can’t just –”

“I can do what I want,” Robert cut him off again.

He was fighting with the devil on his shoulder – or was it his conscience – which repeatedly insisted he’d made a mistake. He ignored his one opportunity to renege on his actions of the previous day, letting the selfish side of his own mind cloud his judgement; letting it block out the voice in the back of his mind which urged him to change to his mind and to put Aaron back on the teamsheet.

He had a fleeting moment where he pictured Aaron’s crestfallen face at finding out he’d been dropped, and it was almost enough to make him change his mind. He opened his mouth to speak, battling between the good and evil that lay within him.

But then he let himself take a second to remember why he’d done it – why he’d been forced to do it; left with no option but to make Aaron pay for the way he’d threatened him on the pitch the day before. He didn’t want to believe that Aaron was the kind of person who would want to hurt him like that, but he just couldn’t risk it.

He couldn’t risk losing everything he had – the success, the position, the power; the life which would have made his father proud.

The life that being with Chrissie gave him.

He’d do anything in his power to protect that, and dropping Aaron from the teamsheet was his way of showing that damned lad that he wasn’t someone to be messed with; of making sure he toed the line and kept his mouth shut.

And if he defied him, it at least gave him the semblance of an excuse to spin Chrissie with – to explain why Aaron would be so angry as to make up lies about him.

_Lies._

If only.

“You sure this is the right thing to do?” Bob questioned him again, breaking him out of his spiralling thoughts, and Robert could tell there was genuine concern in his assistant manager’s tone.

“Don’t question me, Bob,” Robert told him in defiance, almost resenting the way that Bob seemed to be giving him as many opportunities as he could to change his mind.

He wanted to – _god knows_ he wanted to not have to do this across Aaron.

But Aaron had left him with no choice.

“You saw him in training,” Robert explained when Bob seemed adamant to question him on it further. “He’d clearly been out drinking. I can’t allow it Bob – nobody on this team is above being dropped, I don’t care how good they think they are.”

Bob sighed as he shrugged his shoulders, reluctant acceptance that Robert’s mind wasn’t for changing.

“Whatever you think is best then, boss,” he conceded with a forced grin.

“Yeah, I would hope so,” Robert asserted.

“I’ll just get you that coffee then,” Bob offered in conciliation.

“Yeah, thanks,” Robert replied as Bob picked up his clipboard – Robert’s final teamsheet decision attached – and turned to leave the room.

Robert was still shaking his head in frustration when Bob’s head reappeared behind the door again.

“Latte, was it?” he questioned.

“Americano,” Robert barked back at him.

“Right-o,” Bob smiled back as he shut the door after him.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

 

“Robert! Robert! Robert, wait! Just what is this?”

Robert sighed and rolled his shoulders at the sound of Lawrence on the approach behind him in the corridors of the club’s offices.

No prizes for guessing what he was referring to.

“Let me guess,” Robert replied sarcastically.

“Where’s Dingle?” Lawrence questioned as he waved the A4 sheet of paper with Robert’s scribbled team sheet in the direction of his face.

“Dropped,” Robert asserted with conviction. He was bored of confirming himself this morning – this had been the fifth time he’d been questioned on it.

“Why ever would you do that?” Lawrence frowned, his complexion turning a deeper shade of red as his voice rose; clearly Robert’s decision was affecting his blood pressure levels.

“Because it’s my team, and I make the decisions,” Robert answered him vaguely, before turning on his heels to walk away from him.

He felt Lawrence’s firm grip against his bicep, pulling him back around to face him.

“Why?” Lawrence questioned, removing his hand from Robert’s arm when Robert glared down at where he gripped him and looked back up at Lawrence, expression drenched in warning.

“I don’t need to give reasons, Lawrence,” Robert asserted, shrugging with that deep-seated arrogance that he wore so well.

Lawrence closed the space between them to allow himself to talk in more hushed tones, watching as one of the admin staff passed by them in the corridor and waiting for him to be out of earshot before he continued.

“You do realise how this looks, Robert?” Lawrence reminded him, and Robert had to take a second to understanding his meaning.

“I don’t care,” Robert replied, eyes shifting up and to the right slightly, betraying him.

“Well I do, Robert,” Lawrence replied, urging his future son-in-law to change his mind. “The press will have a field day with this – it sends out the wrong message, Robert, and I need you to change –”

“I’m changing nothing,” Robert interrupted, holding out his palm in front of Lawrence in an effort to make him stop insisting he change his mind. “And I don’t care how it looks, Larry. He turned up to training hungover, and it’s unprofessional, and I’d do the same thing to any of my players who did what he did, and I’m not going to treat him any differently just because he’s gay, now, am I?”

Lawrence sighed, tilting his head in exasperation.

“I’m pleading with you, Robert,” he started, but Robert shrugged and rolled his eyes, and Lawrence knew there was no getting through to him.

“No point, Lawrence,” Robert replied dismissively. “My mind is made up.”

He turned to walk away with that swagger of self-confidence that he had so well practised.

“Does he know yet?” Lawrence called after him.

“Nope,” Robert called down the corridor, not turning to face Lawrence for fear that the older man may be able to detect the hint of unease which flashed over his expression at the thought of having to tell Aaron he was dropped from the team; at the thought of having to break his heart that way.

Lawrence opened his mouth to reply – unsure what exactly he had to offer – but Robert had already swung through the double doors at the end of the corridor, and it appeared their conversation was over.

Lawrence made his way back to his office with the situation playing over in his mind. He couldn’t reconcile it – something didn’t seem to make sense. He was sure he was missing something.

He wasn’t going to be the one to break it to Aaron – lord knows he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that certain wrath – but he needed to speak to him; needed to know if there was something awry which he wasn’t aware of.

He made it back to his office and called down to the front desk, asking them to direct Aaron up to his office as soon as he arrived for the game.

He leant back in his chair, and scoured his mind for the possible reasons Robert could have for sabotaging the result of the game so maliciously.

He knew Robert Sugden was only motivated by self-preservation.

But there was more to this; he knew it.

Maybe Aaron would be able to shed some light.

 

-s-

 

Aaron knocked on the door of Lawrence’s office sheepishly, poking his head through the gap left with the door slightly ajar.

“You wanted to see me?” he questioned, still oblivious to the reason for Lawrence’s sudden interest in him, having made his way straight up to Lawrence’s office as instructed.

“Ah, yes, Aaron,” Lawrence smiled at him, ushering him through the door with a wave of his hand as he sat at his desk along the back wall of the large room. “Come on in.”

Aaron closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly just inside of the door. Lawrence stood up from behind his desk and ushered Aaron to sit down on one of the two expensive looking tan leather sofas at the side of his expansive office.

“Please, sit,” he encouraged, perching on the arm of one as Aaron sat himself down on the edge of the opposing sofa.

“You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you up here,” Lawrence started, and Aaron was all too aware of the older man’s inability to look him in the eye.

It made him more uncomfortable in Lawrence’s presence than usual.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Aaron shrugged, frown forming over the top of his brow.

Lawrence exhaled, as if he was unsure of his words.

“Tell me,” Lawrence started; cautious with every word. “How are you getting along with Robert?”

The question threw Aaron a little, and he coughed to clear his throat before stumbling over his answer.

“Erm, er, fine, I guess,” Aaron stuttered, feigning ignorance as he became aware of his cheeks burning. “Why?”

A flash of unease waved over him as he noticed how the frown in Lawrence’s expression deepened, and for a blinkered second he actually thought Lawrence had found out about them.

There was no logic or reason as to why or how he could have known anything; but Aaron couldn’t stop the panic from rising inside of him regardless.

“I was there, at the meal, Aaron,” Lawrence explained, and it was perfectly obvious to Aaron that he was uncomfortable with his own line of questioning, but he forced himself to continue nonetheless. “Robert was, well, like _Robert_ I suppose, and I know it must have upset you.”

Aaron shrugged off Lawrence’s suggestion, sure he felt a wave of relief pass over him as he realised his suspicions about Lawrence knowing about them were likely wrong.

“I weren’t bothered,” he insisted, nonchalantly.

“Well, regardless,” Lawrence continued. “Robert has a tendency to let the power go to his head, so to speak, and to make life very difficult for people if he wants to. I would hate to think he could have done that to you. He’s not the most rational of people.”

“He’s been fine,” Aaron replied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

He didn’t want to address the flash of anger that had seeped past his defences when Lawrence had bad-mouthed Robert, as if some innate part of him felt a ridiculous need to defend the man he hadn’t been able to get out of his mind for best part of the past month.

Despite everything they’d said to one another the previous day, something didn’t sit right with him about the way Lawrence was attacking Robert behind his back, and he bad to bite down on the inside of his gum to stop himself from making some snide comment at Lawrence’s expense.

“Good,” Lawrence nodded, but the inquisitive look in his eye told Aaron he hadn’t finished with him yet; that he hadn’t quite got what he wanted. “So there’s no bad blood between you? Nothing I’m missing?”

Aaron sighed, shrugging as he searched for the words he thought Lawrence wanted to hear.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he replied casually. “He’s decent, the lads like him. We’re winning. He’s doing a good job if you ask me.”

He left out the bit about being desperate to shag him on his office desk the other week – and every day since then, pretty much – but he realised he needed to stay professional and not let this _thing_ between them – whatever it was – spill over into their work.

He was blissfully unaware, of course, that Robert hadn’t been blessed with quite the same thought process.

 “Good, that’s great then,” Lawrence nodded as he stood up off the sofa and made his way over to the door of his office and held it open for Aaron to leave. “I’ll let you get on,” he smiled.

Aaron couldn’t quite shake off the subtext of the older man’s smile; couldn’t help but feel like it was masking something. Disappointment, maybe; or was it unease?

“You sure there’s nothing else?” Aaron questioned as he made his way towards the door. “Only Nicola seemed pretty convinced I had to come up here before going anywhere else?”

Lawrence couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Yes, that’s all,” he replied with his gaze fixed firmly to the floor.

Aaron knew something didn’t add up, but he thought better than to question it.

“Sound then,” he muttered as he made his way out of the office and into the brightly lit corridor. “See y –”

The door slammed shut in his face, and Aaron let out an incredulous laugh at the audacity of it.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something Lawrence wasn’t telling him.

He brushed it off, picking up his kit bag from where he’d left it in the corridor outside of Lawrence’s office, and made his way down to the hospitality suite where the rest of the team would be having their pre-match protein-fuelled meal.

He fished his phone out of his pocket as he made his way down the corridor, stopping in his tracks at the sight of Adam’s text message lit up on the screen.

_Mate, I’m so sorry. U OK?_

Aaron laughed; confused. He struggled to type out his response one-handed as he negotiated the double doors along the corridor with his kit bag in his other hand.

_You sent me that by mistake or have you broken another one of my phone chargers?_

He reached a junction in the corridor, and realised if he turned left he could cut through and take a shortcut through the media room where he’d held his press conference the other week.

_Fuck, he’s not told you?_

Aaron stopped in his tracks, shaking his head with confusion as he read Adam’s reply.

“What are you on about?” he muttered out loud to himself; still unable to shake the feeling that he was missing something.

He glanced to the left, attention drawn towards the TV’s in the corner of the media room where he was sure he heard his own name blaring out.

It wasn’t uncommon, of course, with the sports channels running a constant update on the team news for the upcoming games, but it was strange for his name to be repeated so many times in one report.

He walked inside the media room, trying to focus his eyes on the banner running across the bottom of the news report as he advanced closer to the TV.

“Eh, turn that up, mate,” he called out to one of the social media team as they scuttled around the back of the room.

He did as he was told, looking up at Aaron sheepishly to add to the feeling of unease he’d carried around with him since he’d arrived at the stadium.

He had to wait for the news cycle to run its course and to roll around to the start again on the banner running along the bottom of the screen.

And then he saw it.

_Aaron Dingle dropped from Dales United team for their game today. Dingle is also not featured on the bench. Club cites ‘professional reasons’._

Aaron felt his stomach turn over; his heart starting to race as he dropped his kit bag to the floor and advanced towards the TV screen.

“What the FUCK?” he reacted out loud; to nobody in particular and to anybody who would listen.

He looked around the room for someone to share his anger and confusion – saw the lad who’d turned the volume up for him scuttle off behind the advertising boards, presumably well aware of the cause of his outburst.

Everything suddenly slotted into place – the _chat_ with Lawrence; Adam’s text; the feeling that everybody had been looking at him with that pitiful kind of smile ever since he’d arrived.

He almost couldn’t believe Robert had done it to him.

_Almost._

He didn’t need to speak to him to ask him his reasons – he knew precisely what Robert was playing at.

He knew this was a warning; some kind of twisted way of getting out a message to Aaron; of letting him know that he held the future of his footballing career in the palm of his hand, just like he knew Aaron held the future of Robert’s marriage in the palm of his own.

For a glancing second, he considered using his knowledge as the best form of revenge against what Robert had done to him, but in truth he wasn’t sure he had it in him to go that far.

Before he could allow the rage and confusion to twist around inside of him, he overhead the sports news anchor introducing their reporter at the Dales ground, and he gritted his teeth when Robert’s face appeared on the screen.

He wanted to throw something at the screen.

He felt his breathing quicken at the sight of him; only he couldn’t quite decipher what emotion made him react as he did.

_“Robert, thanks for joining us, surprising team news for today’s game…”_

Aaron listened intently as the reporter asked Robert to explain his absence from the teamsheet.

 _“Well, I don’t want to go into specifics,”_ Aaron listened in as Robert spoke into the microphone thrust in front of his face. _“Professionalism is very important to me, and the message needs to be sent out to all players in my team that they cannot take their place on my team for granted.”_

Aaron couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.

Was Robert for real?

_“So are we to infer Dingle has been dropped due to his behaviour in training?”_

The reporter continued to question Robert, and Aaron could see it on his face – it was so slight, almost unnoticeable to someone who wasn’t looking for it or wasn’t aware of the nuances of Robert’s expression like Aaron seemed to think he was – but it was there.

Hesitation.

Like there was some part of him telling him not to do what he was doing; like he knew he would come to regret his actions.

Aaron could read Robert like a book, even now.

It didn’t stop him though.

 _“You can infer from that what you like,”_ Robert responded, with conviction.

With that the reporter switched back to the studio, and Aaron felt the rage bubble up inside of him.

Who did Robert think he was?

Talking about _professionalism?_

Like Robert wasn’t the one to be the _most_ unprofessional when he kissed the life out of Aaron in his office the other week; or when he made it pretty obvious he wanted to do it all over again out on the training pitch the day before?

Like Robert wasn’t the one to have overreacted to some flippant comment from Aaron the day before and use his _career_ as a weapon against him?

Who did he think he was?

And Aaron had just _defended_ him to Lawrence, too.

And the penny dropped, then, for Aaron – why Lawrence had been so eager to talk to him, to find out if there was any bad feeling between himself and Robert.

Lawrence must have known.

Aaron’s mind was spinning.

He was in a blind rage; couldn’t see past the flash of red that had descended over his vision; couldn’t stop to think through his actions or restrain himself from acting on impulse; from _reacting_ on impulse.

He turned back on himself – left his kit bag in the middle of the media room because he didn’t have the clarity of thought to remember to take it with him – and he made his way back to Lawrence’s office.

He shouldn’t have been mad at Lawrence – the man was a coward, for sure – but it wasn’t Lawrence that had decided to drop him.

Still, he needed someone to hear his rage.

He flung the door of Lawrence’s office open – not waiting to be invited in – and saw Lawrence jolt upright in his seat at the shock of the invasion.

“You _coward,”_ Aaron spat out at him, teeth gritted and face reddened with the rage that coursed through him.

“Aaron – I – ” Lawrence tried, stuttering.

“You knew!” Aaron interrupted, pacing towards the desk Lawrence sat the other side of, finger pointing out as he laid into him. “You _knew_ he’d dropped me, and you didn’t think to tell me? What did he tell you, eh? What excuse did he spin you? Because I bet you’d _love_ to know the real reason!”

Aaron inhaled sharply, retreating back on his heels slightly as he heard the words he’d just spoken, as if he’d been caught unawares by what he was about to say.

“I tried to change his mind, Aaron,” Lawrence pleaded with him, and Aaron almost believed him by the look of sympathy etched onto his face.

“And what?” Aaron snapped back at him. “And you couldn’t _make_ him change it? Because I’m pretty sure as CEO you could make him change anything if you _really_ wanted to!”

“It doesn’t work like that, Aaron,” Lawrence patronised.

“Well it’s bullshit!” Aaron called back. “And I don’t think I wanna play for a team that lets this kind of bullshit happen.”

Lawrence’s expression dropped at that suggestion.

Aaron hadn’t realised he’d said it, but once the idea took a hold of him, he knew it was what he needed to do.

“You don’t mean that,” Lawrence insisted, standing to his feet with the shift in the atmosphere.

“I do, Lawrence,” Aaron nodded, feeling the sense of conviction wash over him. “I don’t wanna spend a single second longer around _him,_ and his smug little face.”

“Aaron – ”

“You can expect to hear from my agent tomorrow, Lawrence,” Aaron told him through a twisted smile. “And he’ll have my transfer request for you. I’m not playing a single second longer under _that_ selfish, arrogant, idiot.”

“Aaron – ”

He turned on his heels and then slammed the door behind him on his way out, vaguely aware of Lawrence’s protestations from the other side of the door.

He was nearing the end of the corridor when he heard the door open and Lawrence call down the corridor to him.

“Aaron, stop,” he called out after him. “Don’t be rash, Aaron. Aaron!”

He burst through the double doors at the end of the corridor, biting down on his bottom lip as he tried to supress the rage inside of him, leaving Lawrence stood in a state of panic outside of his office as he watched the figure of Aaron Dingle retreating down the corridor in a fit of rage.

For a second Aaron committed himself to finding Robert; to letting his fist feel the outline of his jaw; to letting him know precisely what he felt about this display of dick-swinging that Robert seemed to have engaged in him with.

But as he made his way back through the media room to pick up his kit bag from where he’d left it – TV still blaring out with the various startled comments from the pundits and the interviews from the incensed fans – he realised he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

He didn’t want Robert to _know_ he’d done what he wanted; that he’d won.

He didn’t want Robert to see him this on edge; this _affected_ by his actions.

Robert would be getting enough stick from the fans today, anyway.

And the rest of the team, he hoped, too.

Robert’s just desserts could wait.

And Aaron had just the thing to get payback on the man who’d forced him to turn his back on the club he’d loved since childhood.

Aaron had _knowledge._

Knowledge that could tear Robert’s life apart.

And as he made his way back through the front doors of the stadium – past the confused receptionists, and past the drabbles of those wealthier fans turning up for their pre-match meal in the hospitality boxes; and past the few reporters assembled outside who relished his passing with the incessant flash of their cameras and the click-click-click of their shutter buttons; and along the railings until he reached the privacy of the team car park, out of sight of the glare of the public and the media – he toyed with the thought of the look on Chrissie’s face as Aaron blew her world apart.

He flinched with it though.

He highly doubted he seriously had it within him to do it.

He bounded towards his car – needed nothing now but to be away from here; away from _him_ , and away from the stadium, and away from the sound of the fans as they chanted in the pub down the hill; and away from the glare of the world on him in that moment.

He needed to be away from it all.

He needed to be able to process his growing anger, resentment, and _hurt_ all by himself.

Because – and he daren’t really let himself admit it – at the bottom of it all, he couldn’t help but feel hurt.

Robert had done this on purpose.

Robert had _wanted_ to hurt Aaron; to make him react the way he had done.

And Aaron couldn’t reconcile the man who was capable of making him feel such excitement, and longing, and desire; with the man who could also tear his heart in two with a smug smile on his face.

He clenched his jaw with the realisation of it; with the knowledge that beyond being angry with Robert, he was just the tiniest bit gutted that the man he was so drawn to could treat him like this.

He knew he couldn’t let him get away with it.

But he knew he couldn’t face him in the state he was in – a mess of confusion about how he felt; flitting from anger and betrayal to hurt and devastation in the blink of an eye.

He talked himself out of returning back to the stadium – couldn’t face that crowd of fans and journalists again – so he resigned himself to this spiral of anger and despair as he fished his car keys out of his kit bag and unlocked his car.

He threw his kit bag into the boot, and only then did he realise who had parked next to him.

His lip curled instinctively.

He half-wondered if Robert had done it knowingly, like he’d seen Aaron’s car and needed some proximity to him and his belongings.

More likely he wanted another reason for Aaron to be unable to erase him from his thoughts.

He sneered at it; as if the heap of metal had feelings.

It was the kind of car that only idiots like Robert Sugden thought they could pull off.

The kind of car that screamed money, and status, and authority.

Low-riding, and white with black details, all leather interior and looking more like a hybrid of a racing car with something roadworthy.

 _It could really do with some extra details_ , Aaron thought to himself.

He clicked the button on the side of his own car keys – the one that released the metal key for the ignition – and he walked from the boot of his own car up to the driver’s door, pressing the metal protrusion from his keys into the side of Robert’s car as he went.

He admired the metre-long scratch that he’d indented into the side of Robert’s car, and let a small smirk play over his expression.

It had felt good.

 _Not good enough, though,_ Aaron realised.

He flicked the key out again, and dragged it back along the side of the car once more, to make another scratch parallel to his first.

He huffed out a slight laugh of satisfaction.

This kind of destruction felt strangely good, he realised.

Impulsively, he clenched his fist and swung it forcefully towards the wing mirror above where he’d left his scratch.

He bit down on his smirking lip as he felt the force of the connection of his fist to the mirror, relishing the cracking sound that seemed to echo around him as the metal bent backwards; distorting on its return.

“Just a bit more,” Aaron whispered to himself, taking his foot to the wing mirror this time as he kicked it with force until it was left hanging from the side of the car.

Aaron stood back and admired his handiwork, content that he thought it put across the precise message he was intending it to.

And with that, he climbed into the seat of his car, started the ignition, and drove off without so much as a glance back in the direction of what he’d left behind.

 

-s-

 

Aaron hadn’t been able to watch the results come in on Sky Sports back at home.

He’d had to try and keep himself busy; failing in every attempt to take his mind off what had happened.

His phone had been on fire all afternoon – emails, and texts, and voicemails galore; friends, teammates, his mom, his agent, media contacts – everybody wanted a piece of him.

He ignored them all.

He watched a few snippets of the comments coming through on Sky Sports News, realising as the pundits did that he hadn’t once been dropped from the Dales United team before today – apart from through injury. He’d been a steadfast member of the team for years.

They were confused – the pundits; the fans; the team.

Aaron shouldn’t have been – he knew exactly why Robert did what he did – but even Aaron felt confused that Robert was willing to stoop so low to hurt him.

It didn’t make any sense to him.

He’d tried everything to take his mind off it all afternoon.

He’d managed to annihilate the darts board in their living room for a good hour, and he’d felt the tension in his shoulders dissipate slightly with the force he’d allowed himself to use as he potted ball after ball on their pool table; then he’d managed to distract himself by kicking a football up against the side of their house for a good forty minutes before he’d felt the cold winter air seep through to his bones and he’d given in to the warmth of their front room.

He’d managed to avoid the scores, but as he dared to check his phone he couldn’t help but notice that Dales had managed to draw 0-0 against a team that should have been an easy win for them.

He couldn’t feel smug about it though. He loved that club, and he loved that team.

If he was really honest with himself, there was nothing that would make him want to leave. His words to Lawrence in his office reverberated around his mind, but as much as he may have meant them in the rage that had descended over him in those moments, he knew deep down there was nothing that could really make him hand in his transfer request.

Even if one look at his emails told him it seemed to be what his agent was suggesting.

 _No wonder_ , Aaron thought to himself.

The commission his agent would get off his no-doubt multi-million pound deal would be enough to set his agent up for a comfortable retirement.

He skimmed over various other emails from media outlets – one from Lawrence in between the various interview requests and Groupon newsletters – and he ticked the box to select and delete the lot of them.

He checked back into his messages – a few of his teammates reaching out to check if he was okay, or to tell him they gave Robert a bit of a verbal dressing down in the changing rooms before the game in his honour.

Adam topped the list – he’d sent at least 15 messages, Aaron counted – and he smiled with the concern his friend showed for him.

He replied only to Adam.

_Mate I’m fine ok. Teach me to go out and get pissed before training won’t it._

He resented how he felt like he was protecting Robert, even after all that he’d done to him.

He wanted so much to be able to tell Adam exactly what was happening – to be able to talk to his best mate about what was going through his mind; to hear his perspective on him and Robert.

But he couldn’t do it; he couldn’t risk anybody finding out about the two of them. He’d never let himself admit it, but he knew – deep down – that if their dalliance became public knowledge, Robert would never look in his direction again.

And as much as he had a pit of rage burning inside of him at the thought of that blond hair and those blue eyes and those freckles and that jawline; he couldn’t shake off the other emotion that Robert summoned; the one that had no right to be there after what Robert had done across him today.

The feeling that simmered and flickered deep inside of him; refusing to be extinguished.

The feeling Aaron was sure would be his demise; his downfall; his Achilles’ heel.

The feeling he was spending hours desperately trying to suppress into the recesses of his heart and mind as he paced around their living room, when Adam finally burst through the door a while later.

“Buddy, come here,” Adam comforted him as soon as he walked through the door, and as much as Aaron was usually averse to any kind of physical contact, he accepted the brotherly embrace with a kind of gratitude he could only ever feel for his best mate.

Adam told Aaron about the reaction to Robert in the dressing room, which had escalated from mildly frosty before the game to completely freezing him out after the lacklustre display without Aaron in front of goal.

Aaron tried to seek a little comfort in the fact that he’d been missed by his teammates, but his emotions were still too overwhelmed with the rage and confusion that had been simmering for the past few hours to fully acknowledge how much his team had been willing to stand up for him.

“We missed you out there, if that makes you feel any better?” Adam told him comfortingly.

Aaron let out a slight laugh.

“Yeah, well it probably should do,” Aaron replied as he flicked up his eyebrows. “If I could get past how pissed off I am.”

Adam smiled – the kind of smile that let Aaron know he could see through his defences; that maybe he could laugh it off with anyone else, but his best mate would always be able to tell how much this must have gutted him.

“Look, how about I cancel this date I’ve got tonight,” Adam offered with a sympathetic smile. “Me and you can chill out with a few tinnies and play Fifa – or whatever else you wanna play – until we’re so pissed we can’t see straight? How about it?”

Aaron smiled back at his friend, hiding the way his heart had dropped for a slight second with remembering that Adam was going to be out for the night. He’d forgotten about Adam’s date.

“Nah, mate, honestly,” Aaron replied with a forced shrug. “I’m not in the mood for it,” he lied. “I’m just gonna have an early night.”

He ignored the creeping doubt inside of him; reminding him he’d been going out of his mind all afternoon on his own and that the prospect of doing the same all evening was enough to make his stomach churn with anxiety.

But he wasn’t about to let Adam see that.

He couldn’t let himself ruin Adam’s night; not when he’d spent the last couple of days bleating on repeatedly about this mysterious girl he’d met in the lift at the club after training, and how she’d slipped him her number without so much as telling him her name, and that he hadn’t been looking forward to a date this much for years.

“You sure?” Adam asked, as if he needed his permission.

Aaron could read the look in his eyes – knew Adam wanted Aaron to let him go; knew he would have been secretly crushed if Aaron had asked him to stay home with him.

“Honestly, mate, go,” Aaron smiled at him, urging him to believe that he would be fine left home alone. “I can’t deal with another second of you going on about this mystery woman, anyway.”

Adam let his face fill with that winning smile he was so loved for amongst the female fans.

“You sure?”

“If you ask me again I’m gonna have to shut you up,” Aaron threatened light-heartedly. “Go and get ready, you muppet.”

Adam gave him a playful punch against the shoulder.

“Cheers bro,” he beamed before turning to take the stairs two at a time. “I better go and get this sex machine ready for some action!” he called down the stairs as he reached the landing.

“You’re a twat,” Aaron shouted up after him, smiling when he heard the booming laugh in reply.

“You love this twat,” he shouted back down the stairs.

Aaron laughed warmly; genuinely.

He retreated to the fridge and cracked himself open a beer before deciding he could try and face watching the goals from the day’s games on the highlights round up on TV.

He’d been absorbed in the highlights for at least an hour when Adam reappeared in his dark denim jeans and black shirt, with a fitted grey blazer.

“Will I do?” he asked playfully as he posed up against the door frame.

“Gorgeous,” Aaron replied in a higher pitched voice with an exaggerated roll of his tongue.

Adam laughed in reply.

They sat and had a beer together as Adam waited for his taxi to arrive, reacting together to the goals and the offsides and the penalty shouts from the highlights that rolled around on Sky Sports.

After a while Adam’s phone buzzed as his taxi arrived.

Aaron felt the dread rise within him, aware of the fight he’d probably be having with his inner demons whilst left on his own for the rest of the night.

He’d never been good on his own in a crisis.

“You sure you’re gonna be alright?” Adam asked.

Aaron could hardly say no when he was stood before him dressed as he was, and with the vaguely overpowering stench of Paul Smith following him around the room.

“Just piss off, will ya,” Aaron smirked playfully, playing down the anxiety that threatened to take over him.

Adam shot him a winning smile.

“Don’t wait up!” he called out excitedly as he slammed the door behind him.

Aaron shook his head and returned his attention to the TV, hearing the taxi pull off the drive seconds later.

He sighed to himself, eyes flicking around the room as if they were looking for something that would occupy his mind for the next few hours.

It was barely 8pm; there was no way he could go to bed yet. He’d never be able to sleep.

He stood up to get himself another beer from the fridge, when he jumped at the sound of a heavy-handed knock on the door.

His immediate assumption was that Adam had forgotten something, but as he sauntered towards the door he questioned why Adam wouldn’t be using his key, and with his interest piqued he answered the door with a smirk on his face.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he scorned as soon as he saw Robert stood the other side; a scowl immediately taking over his expression.

He slammed the door shut and turned away.

He wanted to punch the door; and the man behind it.

Robert must have been waiting for Adam to leave, he realised, and it only made his hackles rise further for some reason.

He reminded himself to breathe as he took a glance at himself in the mirror hung by the front door; saw the way his eyes were filled with doubt and how the twitch in his jaw was in full flow.

He let the doorbell ring continuously, and he could hear Robert knocking repeatedly on the window of the front room as he tried to avoid him by scuttling upstairs.

The resentment was coiling in the pit of his stomach, and after five minutes of Robert’s incessant knocking – along with the constant calls to Aaron’s phone – he relented, making his way back down to the front door, pulling it open in exasperation.

“Leave it!” he demanded as he faced Robert once more, but this time Robert was inside before he had the chance to shut him out, and he had his hands fisted in the material of Aaron’s hoodie at his chest, and he was pushing Aaron backwards down their hallway until his back connected with a wall.

“Don’t you dare touch my car again!” Robert seethed; face red with anger, teeth gritted together.

Aaron responded with a heavy handed shove against Robert’s chest, his hands pushing Robert away from him, disconnecting his fists from Aaron’s clothing.

Aaron shoved him again – harder, this time – sending him stumbling backwards.

The front door had almost closed itself, and Robert felt his back connect with the door as his body pushed it back the final inch to make the lock click into place.

“Who do you think you are, Robert?” Aaron asked him through his own gritted teeth, face invading Robert’s personal space as his finger pointed into Robert’s chest. “Pulling a stunt like that today, I _really_ didn’t think you would go that low –”

“You’re the one keying my car!” Robert retorted with disdain.

They squared up to one another, anger coursing through Aaron’s veins as he took in Robert’s expression.

“You’re pathetic!” Aaron hissed at him, pausing for a heated second to allow himself to take in the blue of Robert’s eyes, before he dropped his grip on Robert’s leather jacket; turning and walking back into the front room.

He didn’t know what he expected of Robert in this situation – didn’t know him well enough to understand this side to him – but his assumption would have been for him to scuttle off silently, spineless in the face of Aaron’s wrath, just as he had been in the face of Aaron’s lust weeks earlier.

Except he’d underestimated Robert Sugden.

“You think you’re so _good,_ don’t you Aaron,” Robert appeared at the doorway to the lounge – the one where they’d been so close to having their first kiss just weeks ago.

Aaron turned to face him with a scowl.

“What?” he questioned, incredulous.

“You’re all _out_ and _proud_ and you have no idea what it’s like for me!”

It wasn’t the remark Aaron had been expecting, and his face must have told Robert exactly that.

Robert walked slightly closer to where Aaron was standing at the back of the room, close to the pool table.

“You swan around here, looking like you do, looking _at me_ like you do, and I’m meant to be able to ignore you and pretend there’s nothing there. Do you have any idea what these past few weeks have been like for me?”

It made Aaron see red all over again.

“FOR YOU?” Aaron shouted, suddenly further enraged. “ _For YOU?”_ he repeated, closing the gap as he advanced back across the room towards Robert.

Robert was taken aback by the force with which Aaron’s words escaped him.

“I’ve been in _hell_ here, Robert, since you kissed me! I haven’t been able to think of ANYTHING but that day in your office,” Aaron admitted, realising it was maybe the first time he’d accepted it himself, too. “And you’ve been totally fine! I bet I’ve not even _crossed your mind_ , whilst I’ve been here going out of mine, imagining you all shacked up cosy with your fiancé and I’m here praying you’re gonna think about me long enough to send me one fucking text message to explain to me what the fuck you were thinking and how the fuck I’m meant to act around you at work all day!”

Aaron couldn’t quite believe he’d said the words himself; realising Robert looked just as stunned to be hearing them.

The air between them fell thick with their silence; both unsure where the next move lay.

“And then you pull that move today?” Aaron’s voice was shaky as he continued, needing to address the way Robert had made him feel. “You were so over the line, do you know that? I _defended_ you this morning – I bet you didn’t know that, did you? Huh? Lawrence called me into his office hoping I’d slag you off, and I defended you! And then I walk out and find out you did _that_ to me? You used that power to screw me over – ”

“You said you were going to tell Chrissie!” Robert interjected, as if it was reason enough to explain his betrayal.

“And you actually think I would do that, do you?” Aaron shouted back at him. “That I could _actually_ wanna hurt you that much?”

“I don’t know,” Robert conceded, rubbing his hand against his neck as he realised the mistakes he’d let himself make. “I don’t know, Aaron! I panicked, and I knew I shouldn’t but once I did it I couldn’t stop myself –”

“Like you even tried!” Aaron interrupted.

“Look, I’m sorry, I fucked up!” Robert shouted back at him, stopping Aaron in his tracks. “It’s what I do! It’s what I always do!” he continued, rubbing his hand against his face as he tried to hide the tears that threatened to fall.

Aaron closed his eyes, chewing on his tongue as he watched Robert intently. There was something in the way he said it – something in the way he sounded so desperate with it – that made Aaron retreat back slightly, and left his anger in a state of reluctant retreat.

He thought back to the way Lawrence had spoken about Robert earlier that day – how he’d been so quick to talk ill of Robert behind his back; to try to get Aaron to do the same – and a part of him wondered if that was how it always was for Robert; always having people second guess his good intentions; waiting for him to screw up.

It made Aaron’s shoulders drop slightly as he watched Robert struggling with the consequences of his actions; the weight of everything between them filling the silence in the room as they both collected their thoughts.

“Don’t leave,” Robert’s gentle request punctuated the silence; his voice so quiet it was almost apologetic.

Aaron let out a huff of disbelief.

“What?” he asked Robert, needing him to clarify the exact nature of his request.

Robert took a step closer to Aaron, breathing heavily as he struggled to bring himself to look Aaron in the eye.

“Don’t leave the club,” Robert clarified, allowing his eyes to fall in line with Aaron’s gaze properly for the first time in weeks.

Robert felt his heart lurch inside of him.

He’d spent so much time over the past few weeks putting himself through the wringer – he’d been trying desperately to forget about what had happened with Aaron in his office that day; and he’d been overcompensating with Chrissie out of guilt, and he’d put his walls up around Aaron in training in a desperate attempt to hide away from the way that Aaron made him feel; and he’d filled his mind with thoughts of anger whenever Aaron had been close in an effort to train himself out of the other feelings that occurred to him so naturally when in Aaron’s presence, and he’d hated himself for those few moments of weakness that he’d had around Aaron.

It was like he couldn’t help himself.

He’d spent the last 24 hours trying to convince himself that he could justify the self-destructive side of him which wanted Aaron to pay for the way he’d rejected his advances the day before, and to feel threatened by the power he could use over him to be able to prevent Aaron betraying him with the knowledge he could so easily share with the people who could take everything he’d worked for away from him.

But now he was stood here in Aaron’s front room, and he knew his resistance was futile. He allowed himself to feel it – to sink into the feeling that Aaron’s presence surrounded him with; to succumb to the way his body ached for him to close the gap between them and to let himself _feel_ something like what Aaron had made him feel in his office three weeks ago; to feel more like himself than he ever had done with anybody else before.

There was a part of Aaron that made Robert want to be better; to do better; and he was finding it harder and harder to ignore it.

“I thought you’d want me gone,” Aaron admitted, his gaze dropping towards the floor as if the admission was too much for him.

Robert’s stomach dropped with it.

“I don’t,” he admitted quietly, and it caused Aaron to look back up and meet his gaze again.

“I don’t want you to leave, Aaron,” he continued, feet edging closer towards Aaron with each beat of his heart. “I don’t know what this is, and I don’t know what to say to you. I’ve been an idiot, and I should never have treated you like I did. I’m sorry.”

Aaron offered a quick nod in response, mind actively trying to take in what Robert was saying to him; what he thought Robert’s meaning was; what the look in Robert’s eye was really telling him.

He hoped he was assessing it correctly, because if not then the anger that had seemingly melted away from him like an icicle in the midday sun was in danger of solidifying again deep inside of him.

“It’s not OK, Robert,” Aaron explained, working against his instincts to try and keep his voice measured. “What you did today –”

“I know, Aaron,” Robert interrupted, voice soft and pleading. “I…I panicked. I’m sorry –”

“Don’t you ever treat me like that again, Robert, or I swear – ”

“I promise you, I won’t,” Robert assured him, with a desperation to his voice that they both so clearly wanted to believe.

“Can we start again?” Robert asked gently, and Aaron almost let a smile form in response, until Robert continued. “As mates?”

Robert held his hand out to Aaron, as if to shake it; as if this was some form of business transaction for him.

Aaron frowned at his choice of words.

“You what?” Aaron questioned; realising the anger was rearing its ugly head once again.

Robert looked down to his outstretched hand, and back up at Aaron expectantly.

“You wanna be _mates_?” Aaron asked him, and it was as if he had spat the words out on the ground as they left him.

Robert felt a wave of panic wash over him as he pulled his hand back from where it lingered in the space between them.

“How the fuck are we meant to be _mates_ , Robert?” Aaron continued. “What, you wanna come round here and have a few beers with me and Adam and the rest of the lads and pretend there isn’t this _thing_ between us? You want me to come round to yours and Chrissie’s for dinner parties? You sure you’re not gonna freak out and give me that death glare I’ve been on the other end of for the past 2 weeks every time you see me and her talking, wondering if I’ve told her about that time you nearly fucked my mouth in your office, huh?” 

Robert advanced towards him, trying to place his hands on Aaron’s shoulders to calm him down, but Aaron reacted to him, pushing his hands away and giving him a little shove backwards; needing to keep his distance from Robert as best he could.

“Don’t you _dare_ try and touch me, Robert,” Aaron ordered, baring his teeth to show him he meant it, before turning his back on Robert and retreating away.

He felt Robert’s arms pulling him backwards, and before he could shrug his boss away, Robert had pulled him close to his body, and his lips were on Aaron’s again, and they were soft and pliant and his hands were on his face, holding him close, and Aaron wanted to sink into it more than anything, but his demons weren’t hidden, and they surfaced in reaction, and he was fisting at Robert’s jacket, pushing him away.

“Robert!” Aaron lamented, breathing heavily in the space between them, Robert retreating backwards.

Aaron took one look into Robert’s eyes, and in that moment he realised he saw everything that had plagued him over the past few weeks reflecting back at him – confusion, and desire, and longing, and _needing._

And in that moment – more so than he had done before – he thought he might have been able to understand.

Robert was feeling it all too.

The longing; the needing.

The confliction.

He could see it all reflected back in the way that Robert looked at him, and his ability to resist eroded away in the blink of an eye.

He urged forwards, and sunk into the sensation of his lips pressing against Robert’s once more.

He realised he was helpless in the face of it.

He felt Robert’s body lean into him; felt the rush of heat envelope him as Robert’s arms wrapped themselves around him; felt the press of Robert’s body up against his own.

He couldn’t stop himself – grabbing at the shoulders of Robert’s leather jacket as he pushed it down off his shoulders, aware of Robert’s hands fisting at the material of his hoodie as he followed suit and did the same, their lips refusing to part as they deepened the kiss; tongues exploring one another all over again as if they were reuniting.

Aaron grabbed at the buckle of Robert’s jeans, fiddling awkwardly with the fastening as he tried to manoeuvre the two of them back towards his sofa, pushing Robert down onto the chair with force when they made it there.

Aaron pulled at the soft cashmere of the blue jumper Robert wore; complete disregard for the chance that he could misshape the expensive material as he pulled it up and over Robert’s head; and Robert realised he couldn’t find it in himself to care either as he watched Aaron fling the sweater over to some unknown part of the room.

Aaron pulled away, taking a second to lift his own t-shirt up and over his head, before wasting no time in climbing on top of Robert and pushing his lips against him once more; straddling his thighs as he felt Robert’s hands firm against his shoulder blades, pulling their bodies together with the same desperation that Aaron needed; with the same need for skin on skin as their chests connected and their bodies filled with the warmth of each other’s body heat up against them.

“Fuck, I want you,” Robert moaned in between kisses.

Aaron responded with a needy groan – wasn’t big on the talking but felt his dick stirring with the sound of Robert’s voice low and husky as the expletives rolled off his tongue and into Aaron’s mouth.

“Grind on me,” Robert begged, and Aaron responded immediately, bucking his hips to feel that friction of his own body against Robert’s, manoeuvring to find that perfect position to allow his hardening cock to rub up against Robert’s length behind the material of Aaron’s tracksuit bottoms and Robert’s jeans.

Aaron needed to feel more of him – desperate for what he could have taken from Robert all those weeks ago in his office – and he slipped a hand between them and he finished unfastening his belt and opened the fly of his jeans, feeling his hand brush against the warm solidity of Robert’s erection behind his boxers.

“Please, please,” Robert begged at the sensation of Aaron so close to where his body ached for him, and Aaron’s whole body came alive at the sound of it.

He worked his hand over the waistband of Robert’s boxers, and wrapped his fingers around the width of Robert’s velvet-smooth cock; Robert groaning into his mouth with such desperation that he broke their kiss apart, letting their foreheads rest together as they stared into each other’s eyes, mouths wide open, lips brushing against each other as Aaron slid his hand all the way into Robert’s boxers, pulling the material down to expose him fully.

They could both feel each other’s ragged breath against their lips, Aaron leaning forward and pushing his lips back against Robert’s kiss, Robert responding back with vigour as they bruised each other’s lips in their desperation to take what they needed from one another.

Aaron worked his hands into a rhythm, laughing into their kiss whenever Robert jolted underneath him with the sensation of it; tongues battling against one another as Aaron felt the ache burning his biceps as he switched hands.

“I want your mouth,” Robert begged him, and Aaron pulled back from him for a heated second, licking his lips as they formed into a smile at the thought of it.

“It’s all I’ve thought about,” Robert whispered into the space between their kiss, and Aaron didn’t need him to explain; knew precisely that Robert was referring to their interrupted time in his office.

It’s all he’d thought about too, if he was honest.

“Where do you want it?” Aaron teased, shuffling himself backwards slightly in anticipation as he continued to press kisses against Robert’s lips.

“Everywhere,” Robert teased, smiling as he leant back in to kiss Aaron again, before letting his lips work across his jaw and to that soft spot on his neck that seemed to make Aaron shudder with pleasure above him.

Aaron shuffled further backwards until his knees had no more sofa to work with, and he let his lips work a trail down Robert’s body in the direction of his torso.

He grazed his teeth over Robert’s nipples on his descent, nipping gently and laughing against Robert’s golden, freckled skin as he groaned and squirmed with need underneath his touch.

Aaron manoeuvred himself so that he could kneel on the ground between Robert’s legs, pulling down slightly on the waistband of Robert’s jeans and boxers to give himself proper access to the goods; Robert lifting his bum up off the sofa momentarily to allow Aaron to pull his trousers down and to let his cock spring free from the restraint of his clothes.

Aaron let his eyes devour the sight of it, his body feeling an intense rush of desire at the thought of feeling Robert’s cock inside him; his own cock jolting with the anticipation of what he hoped was to come.

“Please, Aaron,” he heard Robert beg, and he was helpless in the face of it.

He wet his lips, and let his hand start off the assault before he let himself wrap his lips around his solid length, and let his warmth swallow him down, deepening his assault with each dip of his head.

Aaron felt Robert buck up underneath him, fucking up into his mouth, pushing himself deeper until Aaron was sure his gag reflex would kick in with the length of him, relieved when it didn’t and when Robert relented and surrendered control as Aaron pushed down against Robert’s hip in a word of warning.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Robert encouraged him, as Aaron worked away expertly, hands building up delicious friction as Aaron’s tongue licked patterns along the head of his dick, teasing him expertly, building into a rhythm with hands and lips and tongue that drove Robert wild with each second.

Robert felt his orgasm rising within him; could feel it growing in intensity as he watched Aaron’s mouth taking him in such expert fashion, hands working in perfect unison with the push and pull of his lips and the playful flickering of his tongue.

Robert squirmed with desperation as Aaron’s hands toyed with his balls, driving him wild with the sensitivity of it, before Aaron glanced back up and caught Robert’s eye line, and that was all Robert needed.

The sight of him was more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen before in his life.

Cheeks hollowed, mouth full of his cock as he worked it perfectly, piercing blue eyes staring up at him through those flickering lashes.

Without realising he was doing it, Robert let his hand reach up and stroke his fingers through the soft curls of Aaron’s hair, and the sentimentality of it was too much for him to take.

“Uh…’m gonna,” he warned breathlessly, unsure if Aaron would want the warning.

The way Aaron’s eyes darkened lustfully as they held his gaze told Robert exactly what it was that Aaron wanted.

And so he gave it to him.

He submitted to him; allowing his body to release to the pleasure Aaron had summoned inside of him; feeling every synapse in his body come to life as his cock pulsed with his orgasm.

Fuck; it felt so good.

Robert watched every second of Aaron’s reaction – held his gaze as Aaron swallowed him down, loving the taste of him on his tongue, his lips twitching up into the filthiest of smiles as he pulled Robert’s spent cock from his mouth; gently running the back of his hand along his bottom lip, then licking his hand clean.

Robert felt something constrict inside of his chest, and he realised the sight of Aaron devouring him like this might be the most beautiful thing he’d ever witnessed in his life.

Aaron leant up, shuffling until he had worked his way back up Robert’s body and pressed a kiss against Robert’s lips.

He could taste himself on Aaron’s kiss, and it made his breathing quicken and his dick twitch ever-so-slightly, jolting with the aftermath of his orgasm anyway.

Aaron pressed another quick kiss to Robert’s lips, before pulling back and kneeling on the floor between his legs, his waist nudging against Robert’s open knees. He picked up his beer from where he’d put it down on the table behind him, and turned back to face Robert as he took a long gulp of his drink to wash down the taste of Robert on his tongue.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

He knew Robert would be watching him.

He couldn’t take his eyes off him – kneeling topless before him, trackies slung low against his waist; his smooth torso on display especially for Robert, his head turned to the side and gulping down the cool beer from the bottle.

He looked like something out of the bloody Diet Coke advert.

Robert almost laughed at the thought of it, but he was stopped in his tracks when Aaron’s gaze turned towards him, and he realised how completely involuntary it was when his breath caught in his throat, and his heart started beating so much faster than it had been.

A strange sense of panic started to draw over him, and he shifted slightly in his seat as he tried to rub it out; tried to ignore it.

Aaron pulled the beer away from his lips, and laughed as a dribble of the cool liquid spilled over down the side of his chin, and he wiped it away with the back of his hand as he held Robert’s gaze.

Robert looked back up at him; helpless.

He watched the way that Aaron’s smile seemed to bring a lighter aura around his whole being, and how Robert couldn’t help but conclude that this was the happiest and most carefree he’d seen Aaron in the whole time he’d known him.

It suited him.

He was so beautiful.

He was _special_ , Robert realised.

Only, instead of the realisation making him feel warm inside, he felt a panic rising within him that he couldn’t suppress.

It made his breath hitch in his throat, and his heart clench in his chest, and his dick stir as it lay sated against him, still heady in the aftermath of Aaron’s expert touch.

He was panicked.

And he’d never panicked like this before.

He’d been with other guys – had had one night stands of varying degrees – but he’d never felt like he was ever in _trouble_ like this before; never felt helpless in his ability to stop himself taking what he needed and walking away at the end of it all; never had the instinctive feeling that he would live to regret giving in to his temptations, that he wouldn’t be able to walk away.

It shook him, and he felt the wave of some unfamiliar emotion wash over him.

He knew what it was – even if he wasn’t prepared to admit it to himself yet – and it scared him.

And so in that moment – when he should have been sweeping Aaron up into his arms and taking him upstairs – he did what Robert Sugden did best.

He listened to the devil on his shoulder – who reinforced the need to suppress his feelings; to push down whatever it was bubbling up inside of him – and he suppressed away those feelings about Aaron until he could extinguish the fire that raged in the pit of his stomach.

Without giving it another moment’s thought, he tore his eyes away from Aaron as he stood up and adjusted himself back into his boxer briefs, eyes avoiding the undoubted look of confusion on Aaron’s face as they scanned around the room, looking for the sweater that Aaron had thrown away in his haste to get his lips onto Robert’s body mere moments before.

“Robert, don’t,” Aaron pleaded, seemingly aware of precisely what Robert was doing.

“Where did you put my top?” Robert asked, coldly, ignoring him.

Robert sighed as he felt Aaron approach him from behind, trailing his fingers down each of Robert’s upper arms, causing him to stop in his tracks for a second as he started to lose the battle he was having with himself whenever Aaron was present.

His breathing quickened again, and he wanted so desperately to allow himself to turn around and to melt into Aaron’s embrace, to be able to accept the kisses that Aaron was peppering along the top of his shoulder and the base of his neck.

But something stopped him – something ingrained so deeply within him that he didn’t even know how to go about fighting it – and he clenched his teeth together as he took a step forwards and moved away from Aaron’s gentle touch.

“I need to go,” he told Aaron abruptly, unable to even look in his direction, let alone hold his gaze.

He spotted his top in the far corner of the room, and advanced towards it, pulling it on quickly without regard for whether it was inside out or back to front. He spotted his leather jacket on the floor by Aaron’s feet, and hesitantly walked towards it, brushing past Aaron as he leant down to pick it up off the ground.

He quickly threw the jacket over his shoulders, and reached inside the pockets to find his car keys, walking towards the door with his back to Aaron.

He stopped as he reached the doorway.

He chewed down on his bottom lip, before glancing back in Aaron’s direction.

He couldn’t look him in the eye – couldn’t bear to see his gaze filled with what he was sure would be anger and resentment at him walking out on Aaron once more.

He wished he didn’t feel like this; wished there was some way that he could be brave like Aaron and face the way that he was feeling.

But he couldn’t.

He needed the life that he had – the one with Chrissie, and with the job at the club, and with the power and the authority that came with all of that.

He needed the life his father would have chosen for him.

He didn’t need _this,_ whatever _this_ was.

Something that would make his father turn in his grave; something his father would label as _wrong_.

Even if, for Robert, it felt more _right_ than anything he’d ever known before.

He still couldn’t face it.

He couldn’t be the man that Aaron needed.

He couldn’t be the man that allowed himself to _feel_ what he was pretty sure he’d been in danger of feeling before he’d torn himself away from Aaron seconds earlier.

He couldn’t do it.

So he covered the last few steps towards the door, and he left, without so much as a glance back in Aaron’s direction.

Aaron’s heart sunk as the door clicked shut behind Robert, picking up the nearest object he could find and launching it aggressively against the front door.

He couldn’t believe he’d let himself get used again.

Only, it had felt so much _different_ this time.

He didn’t want to let himself believe it, but he couldn’t ignore what he was sure he’d seen in Robert’s expression as he’d been in a rush to leave.

He recognised it, because he remembered when he’d felt the same thing too, all those years ago.

He daren’t let himself hope, but if he was right – if it really was _fear_ and _panic_ he’d seen in Robert’s eyes – then he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at him.

Not anymore.

He only wanted to help him.

He knew he might need to be patient, but one thing was for sure – Aaron was helpless to resist in the presence of Robert Sugden, just as it seemed Robert was helpless in his presence, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, basically, Robert falls in love with Aaron's blowjob technique ;)
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr - wellyfullofale.
> 
> Link to the AMAZING artwork mentioned above - https://wellyfullofale.tumblr.com/post/158600212493/smugfacesuggle-yaay-finally-got-to-do-a-little


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsie, I might have gotten a bit carried away with the word count on this one again...Sorry!
> 
> A massive thank you to everyone who read/kudos'd/commented. You are my lifeblood and I adore you all, when I'm midway through a 13k update it's reading those things that push me to carry on!
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy!

**_Chapter 10_ **

Aaron wanted to hate him.

Well, he wanted to _be able to_ hate him.

He supposed there was a difference.

He told himself so, anyway.

Not that it _really_ mattered.

What did matter was that even if he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

 

-s-

 

“How was the date?” Aaron asked the next morning when Adam finally dragged his sorry arse down stairs.

Adam’s face lit up like a Christmas tree as he exhaled, shaking his head as he struggled to find the words for it.

“That good, eh?” Aaron surmised, amused.

“Mate, honestly,” Adam stuttered as he grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge and drank it straight from the carton, sitting down on a stool at the breakfast bar across from his best mate.

Aaron waited for the follow-up as he glared at Adam wide-eyed, eyebrows raised; anticipating the usual detailed explanation of what he’d got up to and where.

It didn’t appear to be materialising as he realised Adam’s mind had already drifted off.

“Oi, mate,” Aaron summoned him back, throwing a corn flake at him to get his attention. “Details, come on!”

Adam laughed back at him.

“Where do I start?” he questioned, genuinely. “She is something else, bro, honestly.”

“Yeah?” Aaron replied, more than a little of Adam’s excitement rubbing off on him as he smiled warmly.

He listened on as his best mate told him all about his night – about how beautiful his date was, and about how she’d laughed at his worst jokes, and teased him for all of the things that Aaron found so endearing about him too. He listened on as Adam told him how feisty she’d been – how she’d been cheeky, and not afraid to call him out on his cheesy lines; how she’d been fun, and that he’d taken her to an expensive restaurant, and she’d turned down dessert in favour of a Crème Egg McFlurry from the Drive Thru on their way home.

He watched on as Adam’s eyes lit up at the thought of her, and the smile never once left his face.

“You’ve got it bad, mate,” Aaron teased him when he finally stopped gushing over her.

“Shut it, you,” Adam giggled back at him, playfully back-handing his best mate on the arm. “Anyway, how did your night go?”

Aaron’s smile dropped, and he returned his attention to the rim of cereal bowl.

“Fine,” he answered; nondescript.

Adam raised his eyebrow, so well aware of the nuances of Aaron Dingle’s facial expressions.

“What?” Aaron huffed in response to his silent question.

“Don’t give me that,” Adam insisted, watching every movement of Aaron’s eyes. “Not when I saw that car with its headlights on but suspiciously without a driver waiting at the top of the drive when I left, and then watched it pull right down the driveway as my taxi drove off.”

Aaron looked up at him and hesitated.

“Strange how the car managed to drive itself down the road without a driver,” Adam added sarcastically, aware that he’d be touching a nerve.

Robert must have hid from sight as Adam’s taxi drove past, and driven down the drive without waiting for Aaron’s taxi to get out of sight.

“Go on you dirty dog who you had round, then?” Adam beamed, his eyes alive with anticipation, sure his best mate had gotten just as lucky the night before as he had.

“No one,” Aaron dismissed him, nonchalant.

“Is it the same bloke from the other night?” Adam pushed, sure he was onto something and unwilling to let it drop.

Aaron sighed.

He didn’t have it in him to lie, and he knew he could spin the truth to ease Adam’s suspicions.

“No,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulder. “No, it was…It was Robert,” he admitted gingerly.

“Robert?” he questioned, surprised. As far as Adam was concerned, Robert should have been public enemy number one, and the least likely to turn up on Aaron’s doorstep after the previous day’s events.

“Yeah, Robert,” Aaron confirmed as if it made perfect sense.

“What did that weasel want?” Adam frowned, more than a little confused as to why Robert would turn up after what he’d done to Aaron that day; and even more so as to why he would hide at the end of the driveway until Adam had left.

It made much more sense for Robert to want to talk to Aaron with a third party witness present, surely.

“Don’t,” Aaron replied, instinctively defending Robert.

Despite it all, something didn’t sit right with him at Adam being so derogatory towards him.

“Don’t what?” Adam questioned, frowning.

Aaron stood up from his stool, suddenly a little uncomfortable with the direction the conversation seemed to be heading in.

“He was just apologising,” Aaron lied with relative ease. It was at least believable, and Aaron didn’t want to admit to Adam that he’d taken his anger out on Robert’s car at the stadium. “And he meant it, I believed him, so we’re sorted,” he added, hoping that would round up the whole sorry affair.

Adam nodded as his eyes watched Aaron traversing the room, placing his breakfast bowl into the dishwasher and pouring himself a strong black coffee, before trying to saunter past Adam and to find some solace away from this interrogation.

“Sorry I asked,” Adam sighed, a little confused at Aaron’s short fuse but deciding to drop the topic before he alienated his best mate any further. “Seems like his sister got the best genes in that family, anyway,” he added, watching for Aaron’s reaction.

Sure enough, his friend turned to look at him, eyes narrowed with confusion.

“Robert’s sister?” he questioned, unaware that the man he’d been unable to remove from his thoughts for the past few weeks even had a sister.

 “Oh, yeah, didn’t I mention,” Adam half-grimaced, half-smirked. “You can’t tell anyone about me and Vic. She’s kinda Robert’s sister.”

Aaron hesitated, pausing for a second to let this new information sink in, before he let out a slow, unsympathetic laugh.

“You’re fucked!” he told his friend, revelling in it a little.

He couldn’t begin to imagine Robert’s reaction at finding out Adam was screwing his sister.

He wondered cynically whether Adam would get dropped from the team then, too.

 

 

-s-

 

 

Aaron had deliberated over texting Robert for the two days since he’d appeared at his front door in a rage and had pretty much managed to pass his way through every given human emotion in the hour he’d been in Aaron’s front room, before leaving in a blind panic.

Two whole days.

Two days without training, and without any reason for him to contact Robert, besides the fact that his mind was spinning with the memories of the emotions Robert had evoked within him; the feelings he’s stirred and awoken.

Two days deliberating whether it was up to him to break the ice, or not.

He decided he should take the high road, and reach out to him.

He just didn’t know what he should say.

Actually, that was a lie. He’d written the text out numerous times – the same words each time – but he’d not once sent it.

_Are you OK?_

It’s all he could think to say to him; and it’s all he really needed to know.

He couldn’t get the image out of his mind; the look on Robert’s face after he’d given himself over to Aaron; the way his eyes softened in a way Aaron hadn’t seen before, and the way his expression seemed to glow with something Aaron thought he only recognised because he felt something similar himself.

And then he’d panicked and run out on him, fleeing the scene of the crime.

Only Aaron recognised that instinct, too.

He’d been there himself – a long time ago, but he’d been there – and it was only then he realised that Robert didn’t need a punch in the face, or an argument, or to be made to feel bad for the way he was feeling.

He needed help.

And Aaron knew he could be the one to give it to him; he just didn’t know how to get it all down into words.

Words had never been his strong point, after all.

Still, he realised he would be seeing Robert at training later on, so he had to break the ice, and he’d much rather do it via text message without the excruciating discomfort of face-to-face interaction with the quite likely subsequent rejection.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle that in person.

He took out his phone and hovered over his message thread to Robert.

_Are you OK?_

He typed it out again, the words so familiar they appeared in the suggested text on his phone’s keyboard before he’d even typed them.

He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to force his way through the uncertainty.

His thumb tapped the send icon, and his heart jumped into his throat as his phone let out a whoosh noise as if it was taunting him, letting him know his dignity was eroding away into the stratosphere along with that text message.

He put his phone down, leaving it on his bedside table on charge as he swung himself out of bed, flinging on his grey dressing gown and making his way down to have the breakfast he could tell Adam was making downstairs.

He returned to his phone half an hour later, after having thought of nothing else the whole time he’d been down entertaining Adam’s inane chit-chat over bacon and eggs.

He saw the blue LED light flashing, and a new message from Robert.

His heart did that leaping thing again.

_I’m fine._

His heart did that sinking thing again.

Is that all he got? Is that really all Robert had to give him?

He thought back to the way Robert had left him that night, and he tried to picture once again that look of fear on Robert’s face – the one that had made Aaron’s anger dissipate in a millisecond.

Maybe he’d imagined it; he realised.

Maybe it had only been fear that Chrissie would find out.

Maybe he didn’t need Aaron at all.

He sat and stared at the message for a few minutes, thumbs hovering over the screen, questioning whether he should be replying to that; questioning whether Robert was worth this much effort.

He decided against it, throwing his phone back down on the bed before getting dressed for training.

He felt the fog descending again; riddled with confusion over his feelings for Robert.

He was so exasperated with the back and forth between them – with the way he crumbled so easily in Robert’s presence, and with the way Robert seemed to have a habit of doing or saying something which would get Aaron’s back up, to the point where he’d swear blind he wouldn’t let himself go there again.

He was so constantly conflicted – caught up in the predicament where on the one side, he felt like he could see Robert struggling to accept himself, and he _wanted_ to help Robert; wanted to be the person to see the good in him, and to be there for him to help him to work through his feelings. But then, he wasn’t so sure that he really _trusted_ Robert; that his boss wasn’t just playing with his emotions, taking what he wanted from Aaron and then dropping him at the first opportunity.

The brevity of his reply certainly fuelled the latter of Aaron’s theories.

He chewed down on his bottom lip as he quickly checked his phone once more, in the hope that maybe Robert had followed up his reply with something a little more enlightening.

He hadn’t.

Well, at least he’d reached out to him.

At least he’d broken the ice a little, Aaron told himself.

At least that would make training a little less awkward tomorrow, Aaron told himself.

 

 

-s-

 

 

Training had been awkward.

It had been awkward that day, and the four days that followed.

The first day, Aaron had had to contend with the rest of his teammates huddling around him, patting him on the back and offering words of support with raised voices as they’d looked back over at Robert, making sure he’d heard them; making sure Robert was fully aware of where their loyalties lay.

Aaron had shrugged them off, told them he was fine, that he’d been asking for it when he turned up hungover, and he’d ribbed them back about their inability to score without him on the pitch. He’d glanced over at Robert midway through, and he couldn’t help but notice him turn to avert his gaze towards the ground, so painstakingly obvious that he’d been watching Aaron.

He’d wanted to go over to him then; hadn’t known what he wanted to say, other than that he wanted to say _something_ ; hadn’t known which part of him would emerge when he came face-to-face with Robert.

It could have been the part of him that wanted to shove Robert up against a wall and give him a piece of his mind about the way he’d abandoned him _again_ the other night, without so much as even returning the favour.

Or, it could have been the part of him that recognised that fear and panic he’d seen Robert drenched in as he’d run out of his front door. The part of him that couldn’t find it in him to hate Robert, when there was so much of him that he felt he understood, all of a sudden.

Or, it could have been the part of him that still wanted to jump Robert’s bones at every given opportunity, although he tried to keep that as suppressed as he could manage.

That seemed to be proving the hardest part.

 

On the second day of training, Robert had been even more distant than the first. He’d whispered orders into Bob’s ear, and let his assistant manager run the training session for the day as he’d lingered on the sidelines. Aaron had tried to get his attention throughout, missing several passes from his teammates in the process, but he found his gazes met with nothing more than the top of Robert’s head as he’d focused on kicking away at the astroturf beneath his feet. Robert had been visibly avoiding him – Aaron even concerned that one of the lads might end up noticing – but he knew they’d assume their friction was caused by the team selection for the last game and nothing else.

 

 

The third day had been much the same, until Aaron had decided he’d had enough of their stolen glances at one another across the training field. He’d waited around after training, grabbing onto Robert’s arm as he left he changing rooms; the last person to leave.

“Robert, please,” Aaron had pleaded as his boss had glared down at the hand Aaron had against his elbow; Aaron quickly removing it and letting his hand rest awkwardly at his side. “Can we talk, or something?”

Robert had raised an eyebrow at him, and Aaron thought for half a second that he was going to follow it up with a smirk and some flirty remark about the _or something_ he’d just offered.

But the moment had been fleeting, and Aaron had been able to physically see Robert’s body tensing up again, as if he’d realised for himself what he had been about to do.

“Don’t,” Robert had pleaded with him, blinking as he’d struggled to maintain eye contact with Aaron in the hallway outside of the changing room.

They’d been interrupted then by Bob appearing down the corridor, and Robert had walked away from Aaron without so much as a glance back in his direction.

 

And so they made it to the fourth day of training, and it was set to be the worst.

It was the day before the game, and they had press to entertain. Lawrence had already called Aaron and told him he’d be expected to show up for Robert’s press conference and to show a united front to the media off the back of the drama of the previous weekend.

Aaron was sure Lawrence had been surprised by how easy it had been to talk Aaron into it, although he’d have no way of knowing precisely why Aaron had been able to come to terms with Robert’s actions the week before so easily.

They arrived together, both at the last minute, shaking hands awkwardly for the cameras. Aaron caught Robert’s eye as their hands connected, vision of the memory of the week before flashing in front of his eyes as his heart beat leapt at their contact, clenching his jaw slightly to try and control himself as he smiled awkwardly in Robert’s direction.

He couldn’t quite read Robert’s expression; sure he saw it overridden with apprehension for what they needed to do; uncertainty about what Aaron might announce to the world’s media.

Aaron flinched with it, couldn’t help feeling a little hurt that clearly Robert didn’t trust him fully, didn’t know that Aaron would never dream of outing him to the press, or even to his wife, in such a cruel way.

He wanted to make sure Robert knew it.

They listened on as Lawrence made a statement, and then it was Robert’s turn to make one.

He talked about the form from the past few games, and about a couple of the signings he’d made in the January transfer window, and then he made the pre-prepared and media-team-approved passing comment at the end about Aaron being dropped the previous week.

“…and it was a mistake, which I accept did cost us points,” he started, glancing over at Aaron as he said it. “I’ve apologised to Aaron, and I’ve apologised to the team. And now, I apologise to the fans. In future, incidents will be dealt with internally, without affecting team selections for the game. That’s all I have to say.”

Aaron swallowed down, chewing on the inside of his gum to keep himself from reacting to the statement in front of the media.

He knew it had been written for Robert by someone on the media team, but as much as he knew that, he could appreciate the indirect apology whilst resenting the indirect mention of some ‘incident’ that the press would probably never know involved the two of them in an extremely compromising position.

The floor was opened up to questions, and Aaron was singled out immediately by a number of the reporters, all eager to know his take on him being dropped the week before.

He coughed awkwardly, glancing quickly over to Robert and seeing the look of panic flash over his face.

“I, er, I wasn’t happy about it,” he started, eyes darting around the room to avoid focusing on anything in particular. “I always wanna play every game. And Robert and I,” he stuttered as he flicked another glance in his boss’s direction. “We had a disagreement, but it’s sorted. I accept his apology, and now I just wanna move on, and concentrate on the game tomorrow.”

Another reporter tried to add a follow up question, but the club’s press secretary insisted they avoid any further questions on the matter now that they’d had statements from both Robert and Aaron, and so the questions took a turn to focus on the game the next day – Robert answering those with much more confidence than he’d shown a few moments ago, and Aaron taking a back seat for most of it, save for insisting he was eager to get back out onto the pitch and to get the club back to winning ways.

They let the press take their final pictures before leaving the stage and hiding away in the room to the back of the conference room whilst the press filtered out, with Lawrence and a few other club officials also finding sanctuary in there with them.

Aaron glared at Robert from the opposite side of the room, his gaze returned only momentarily before Robert did all he could to avoid looking back in Aaron’s direction.

He wasn’t going to let Robert just ignore him.

He made his way over to where Robert stood, slumped against the wall to his left, staring at his phone.

Aaron lent against the wall next to him, close enough so that the others in the room wouldn’t be able to overhear their conversation, even if the nature of what they were discussing would be obvious to anyone watching on.

“Stop ignoring me,” Aaron whispered as he leant in towards Robert.

Robert snapped his head up immediately, glancing at Aaron and then around the room, making sure nobody was within earshot.

“I’m not ignor –”

“Don’t lie to me, Robert,” Aaron replied softly, holding the eye contact that Robert offered him.

Robert sighed, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he slipped his phone into his pocket and turned to give Aaron his full attention.

“Ok, I’m sorry.  I just, I can’t...I can’t be around you, Aaron.”

Aaron clenched his jaw, his whole body tensing up slightly at Robert’s words.

He hated the thought of not being around Robert.

“You thought I was gonna tell them, didn’t you?” Aaron asked him, changing the subject.

Robert’s gaze shifted around the room, his shoulders a little more tense all of a sudden.

“I wouldn’t, you know,” Aaron reassured him, his voice quiet so as to not be overheard; to make sure Robert knew he had no intention of them being overheard.

Robert looked over at Aaron, his blue eyes searching for something in Aaron’s expression; for some sort of reassurance that he was speaking the truth.

“I wouldn’t tell them, and I wouldn’t tell Chrissie,” Aaron continued, willing for Robert to see he was being genuine, hoping the reassurance would go some way to help Robert with the clear confliction in his emotions. “I wouldn’t tell anyone. I promise you.”

He meant it, too.

Robert let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding, his shoulders falling slightly as if a weight had fallen off them.

“Really?” he questioned.

“Really,” Aaron confirmed with a gentle smile.

Robert wished he could have kissed him right there.

But then, that wasn’t the world that Robert was living in.

“Thank you,” he offered instead; it was all he had. “It means a lot to hear you say it.”

Aaron nodded.

“Yeah well,” Aaron said as he turned to Robert with a smirk. “Maybe now you can stop running off after every time it happens –”

“It won’t be happening again,” Robert interrupted, sure of himself.

Aaron laughed in reply; sure Robert must have been joking with him.

“I mean it, Aaron,” he insisted once more. “Whatever this was, it’s done. It can’t ever happen again.”

Aaron frowned back at him.

He didn’t like the conviction in Robert’s tone; how sure he sounded.

How _final_ it sounded to him.

He laughed; defensively.

“You say that now, but – ”

“No, Aaron,” Robert insisted again, crushing Aaron’s hopes once more. “I won’t change my mind.”

Aaron furrowed his brow and almost pouted at what he was hearing.

“OK, until – ”

“Until nothing, Aaron. Nothing,” Robert pressed, turning to look Aaron in the eye and keeping his voice low and measured, conviction behind every syllable as he made sure Aaron was left with no doubt in his mind. “Do you understand?” he continued. “I love Chrissie, and I’m marrying her. You and me, whatever this was, it’s over. It’s done. It’s not happening again. We draw a line under it, and we go back to being nothing more than player and manager to each other. You understand? This never happened, as far as I’m concerned, okay?”

Aaron felt his stomach drop on hearing it; knowing his every hope was being dashed.

He shook his head, feeling the anger rise up inside of him.

“Let’s see how long you last ‘til you come running, eh?” he replied with spite.

“You’ll be waiting a long time, Aaron,” Robert replied with hint of venom in his tone. “I don’t intend on ever making that mistake again.”

It had felt like a stab to his heart, and Aaron instinctively looked around the room to find his nearest escape route.

“Well, good luck with that, Robert,” he seethed, pushing himself away from the wall and advancing towards the door, ignoring the club press secretary who tried to stop him from leaving before all of the press had dispersed.

Robert watched him leave, realising in his gut there was every chance Aaron had been completely right.

 

 

-s-

 

They won the game the next day – the press and the fans quick to point out that Aaron’s return seemed to be the contributing factor – but Aaron could feel his footwork was off all game; knew he’d misplaced more passes than was usual for him.

Robert had done his usual act of ignoring Aaron all day, and he’d resigned himself to the fact that that was just how it was going to be for them now.

Robert had made it abundantly clear that he was intent on keeping his distance, even if Aaron suspected it went against what he was truly feeling.

Aaron guessed he was just going to have to deal with it and move on.

It was just that the whole idea of that made his skin prickle, and his heart drop to his stomach, and a semblance of rage to coil inside of him.

How was he meant to just forget about Robert Sugden?

It had been on his mind all match, and he knew it was the reason he hadn’t scored when he’d been clean through on goal in a one-on-one with the keeper; and why he’d managed to leather that rebound into the second tier of the stand when he’d been inches in front of goal.

Adam had sensed his frustration – he’d created Dales only goal that day by himself and knew Aaron had been frustrated all match about something – and Aaron was thankful that his best mate waited until they were back home after the match and the warm down to ask him about it.

“You gonna talk to me, then?” he’d asked as soon as they walked through the door and closed away the world behind them.

Aaron had shrugged it off to begin with, but now he was two beers in before 7pm and pacing the kitchen as their dinner cooked, and Adam couldn’t let it drop.

“Come on, man,” Adam pleaded, reaching out and placing a comforting hand against Aaron’s shoulder. “There’s been something up with you for ages, mate –”

“Stop it,” Aaron snapped, flinching away from Adam’s palm against his shoulder.

“You’re not doing this, alright,” Adam insisted, rounding himself so that he was stood in front of Aaron, between him and the bolognese he’d been staring into.

“Doing what?” Aaron shook his head, feigning ignorance.

“Blanking me out, again,” Adam explained, expression flinching with some kind of memory. “You know from last time, mate. You need to talk it through.”

Aaron grimaced, closing his eyes and tilting his head to the side with the same memory no doubt Adam had just flashed with.

“Leave it, Adam,” he muttered under his breath, trying to walk past his best mate but finding himself being dragged back by a firm hand on his elbow.

“Listen, is it to do with that guy again?” Adam asked, full of concern.

Aaron shrugged his hand from him.

“Why do you always think it’s about a guy?”

“Because I know you, bro,” Adam insisted, voice calm and careful. “I know you don’t miss a chance in front of goal when you’re in the right headspace, and you’ve been all secretive about who you’ve had round – ”

“I told you that was Robert last week,” Aaron interrupted, not thinking through his words.

Adam looked confused for a second.

“Yeah, I wasn’t on about last week,” he replied, frowning. “I was on about that other time I was out. And why are you talking about Robert, anyways?”

“No reason,” Aaron insisted, forcefully, desperate to find something to try and change the subject, realising he was treading dangerously close to the wire. He realised he needed to change the subject, and he knew what would grab Adam’s attention.

“Yeah OK you’re right, there’s a guy – ”

“I knew it!” Adam smirked knowingly, patting Aaron on the back.

“No,” Aaron flinched away. “It turns out he’s a jerk, anyway. Proper closet case and he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore, so I guess I’ll just have to get over him and move on, right?”

Adam grimaced, sitting himself down on a stool at the breakfast bar in their kitchen, trying to find the words to console his mate without upsetting him.

“Sorry, bro,” he uttered sympathetically.

“No need, mate, I’m over it.”

“You’re clearly not, Aaron – ”

“I am, it’s done,” he insisted as he stared Adam in the face. “It’s over.”

“Fine, ok,” Adam nodded, accepting defeat.

He could tell something was off though – knew Aaron well enough to see that he was still caught up on something, and he watched on as Aaron finished off their tea, plating up their spaghetti Bolognese which seemed to be his speciality these days.

He’d cooked it four times that week.

They sat and ate it in relative silence, Adam only breaking it occasionally to talk about the results of the games that day; sky sports news playing on a constant loop as per usual on their TV screen with the highlights of all of the day’s games.

Aaron’s replies were monosyllabic at best, many of them not getting further than a curl of his lip or a frown in Adam’s direction.

Adam had had enough by the time they’d finished eating, Aaron whipping his plate from under him as he scooped up his last mouthful and taking it to the sink to wash up.

“Look mate, I’ve got an idea. Let’s go out tonight, me and you, like the good old days.”

Aaron frowned, but Adam took a lack of instant refusal as a sign of hope.

“Come on, me and you. Tearing up the streets of Leeds?”

“Didn’t think you’d wanna go out on the pull now you’ve met Victoria,” Aaron replied dismissively.

“Shut it, mate,” Adam smiled broadly, just at the mere thought of her. “And I don’t, but,” he paused, unsure how his next suggestion would be received. “We could always head to Lower Briggate instead?”

Adam let the question linger in the air, knowing that Aaron would be fully aware he’d just suggested them heading to the home of Leed’s gay scene.

“Mate, I don’t think I’m quite ready for that?” Aaron answered honestly, aware that his heart had leapt into his throat at the suggestion.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t comfortable with it – he’d been in plenty of gay bars in his time – but he hadn’t been near one since he’d come out to the press so publicly, and he wasn’t so sure he was ready for the undoubted frenzy that would ensue.

“OK, fine, I’m not gonna push you,” Adam conceded. “But, you know the press would have a field day with it, and whoever it is who’s messing you around would see it...”

Aaron glanced back up at him, one eyebrow raised.

He hadn’t quite thought of it like that.

“What are you saying, Adam?” he questioned, smirking now with the realisation.

“Make him jealous, man!” Adam laughed back at him, encouraged by the smile on his best mates face. “Let him see what he’s missing. He won’t be able to avoid it in the papers tomorrow, I bet. You’re Aaron Dingle, they’ll be all over you as soon as you walk into that bar and you know it!”

“You’re a bad influence, you know that?” Aaron replied after taking a second to think it through.

“Is that a yes, then?” Adam beamed.

Aaron shook his head in disbelief that he was actually agreeing to it.

“Guess we better get changed,” he conceded reluctantly.

“Yes, bro!” Adam wrapped an arm around him, dragging his head down into a headlock and ruffling his hair excitedly, making Aaron laugh as he fought him off in the brotherly way they were so used to.

 

 

-s

 

 

Adam had been right – the press did have a field day.

Their usual delivery of all the Sunday papers arrived along with their hangovers the next day, and Aaron grimaced as he saw the photo Adam had uploaded to Instagram plastered on the front page of at least three of the nationals.

“Man, we look good,” Adam teased as appeared behind Aaron, looking over his shoulder as Aaron sat at the breakfast bar.

“Shut up,” Aaron laughed.

He couldn’t deny it though – they did look good. Adam had insisted on having three separate attempts at the selfie, though – making sure they both looked their best – and Aaron couldn’t not notice how the lighting (or was that a filter? He wasn’t sure – it’s not like he ever bothered with any of that) made his eyes pop blue and his complexion seem a little more tanned than usual.

He’d decided to wear his black shirt, and he noticed how the material strained slightly over his muscular biceps in the picture.

He looked good.

He grimaced slightly at the caption Adam had written underneath it – and which the papers had left in their reprint on the front pages.

 **adambartonofficial** Out and proud with this one in Leeds tonight – evening fellas!!

It had already racked up over 100,000 likes, and Aaron’s head was dizzy at the thought of it.

He hadn’t been able to ignore how the bar they’d been in had gotten quite a bit busier about a half hour after Adam had uploaded it, and how he’d felt like all eyes in the club had been on him from start to finish. He’d stayed at the bar for most of the night – Adam seeming to enjoy himself far too much as he’d been whisked away to the dancefloor every few songs by another guy, having to let them down gently at the end of each track but enjoying himself nonetheless.

Aaron hadn’t been seen anywhere near the dancefloor all night, keeping his position by the bar, and he’d been approached by a few different guys over the course of the evening. He’d tried to seem interested to begin with – had tried to be civil, and to answer their questions whilst showing some interest – but he’d become bored quite quickly with those who’d pretended to not know who he was, and even more so with those who’d been after a selfie with him more than they had been interested in what he had to say.

He’d let a couple of them buy him a beer, but their conversations had been short lived, and when one blond haired guy had tried to move in too close, he’d backed away immediately and shoved him with a palm to his chest, his message clear.

He’d always known he was fussy with men – not that he had a type, in any way – but there was generally very little that managed to pique his interest, and he could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d been interested in a guy at the first time of seeing him.

His previous boyfriend had been a part of his friendship group for a while before Aaron had found himself gaining interest and enjoying his company. They’d had to be so careful with their relationship, and the strain that placed on them had meant they’d parted ways after only a couple months, and that had been over a year ago.

He rarely _fancied_ people, without getting to know them first.

Robert had been an exception to that though.

Robert had caught his eye straight away.

And he’d barely been able to think of anyone else since then.

He supposed that was why he’d turned down every offer he’d had that night– much to Adam’s amazement.

“That guy seemed nice!” he’d said to him after one of his trips to the dancefloor. “What was wrong with him?”

 _He wasn’t Robert,_ Aaron had wanted to say.

“Just not feeling it,” Aaron had replied instead.

After a few hours, Adam had given up hope of finding someone for Aaron, well aware that his best mate wasn’t having any of it, so they’d decided on calling it a night at about 1am.

It hadn’t stopped the press getting something, though.

Aaron flicked through the back pages, and found himself the subject of a double page spread in one of the tabloids, with five pictures of him clearly taken by a paparazzi photographer from outside the bar.

A couple were him and Adam – laughing in the club, or walking jovially down the road with a pride flag hanging outside one the bars in the background. He liked that one, actually.

The other three were of him stood at the bar with the same guy – the angle making it look like they were getting very close indeed. One of them had Aaron smiling broadly, laughing at one of the other man’s jokes; another had him staring up into his eyes like he was after something; the third with the guy’s hand against his arm. He remembered the guy – knew it must have been earlier on in the night, because he didn’t look quite as fed up as he knew he had been a few hours later. The guy had been bearable, and they’d chatted for a short while, but Aaron had turned down a second drink from him, and he’d got the hint quite easily, leaving a short while later.

Aaron read the news article alongside the pictures, cringing as it explained how he was seen _‘chatting up a string of men as the night wore on’,_ and he couldn’t help but feel the undertones of the article, making out like what he was doing was something seedy; like it was wrong.

He resented it, the insinuation making his lip curl in disgust, and he slammed the newspaper closed as he shook his head.

He knew he’d have to face it – the homophobic rhetoric peddled by the media, phrased in a way that made it less obvious to some but still blindingly clear to Aaron that it was there – but seeing it written in black and white made it harder to stomach somewhat.

He managed to suppress the anger, taking himself back upstairs to shower and get on with the day.

He couldn’t help wondering if Robert had seen the pictures.

He checked his phone; no new messages.

He wasn’t sure if he was expecting any, but he felt a pang of disappointment at having it confirmed nonetheless.

It would be another two days before he’d see Robert at training.

He didn’t know if he could wait that long.

 

-s-

 

“Have you seen this?” Chrissie asked, eyebrows raised and a smile on her face. “Are they allowed to go out and have this much fun?”

She held up the article to show Robert.

He glanced up from where he sat on the sofa, but took no real notice, concentrating instead on re-watching the footage of their game from the day before, trying to pick out areas for the team to work on.

“What is it?” he asked, barely interested.

“Two of your players,” she explained, with a hint of amusement in her voice. “Out drinking last night it looks like it.”

“They can do what they want after a match,” he told her, his eyes still not leaving the TV screen. “Especially if they’ve won.”

“It’s good for him, I suppose,” she carried on, ignoring Robert’s clear disinterest in the conversation. “Putting himself out there, trying to meet someone. It can’t have been easy to come out to the press like that, it’s nice to see him out enjoying himself.”

Robert paused the game; his attention piqued.

He felt something burn up inside of him.

He made his way over to where Chrissie was sat reading the paper at the breakfast table.

“Who was it?” he asked, clenching his jaw.

She turned the page back to the article, and a shiver of dread prickled down his spine when he laid eyes on it.

“That Aaron Dingle and his friend,” she explained, unaware of the way her fiancé had suddenly started breathing a little heavier, and that his whole demeanour had changed in the blink of an eye.

“Let me see,” he demanded, snatching the paper from her as his eyes shifted across the page, taking in the detail of the pictures, focusing on the smile on Aaron’s face, and the other man’s hand on Aaron’s arm.

Chrissie pulled a face at Robert’s reaction, standing up to take her breakfast bowl to the dishwasher.

“Thought you said they could do what they wanted,” she commented, without expecting a reply.

Robert couldn’t hear her, his mind spinning with it, unable to focus above the sound of his heart beating faster inside of his chest, his emotions clouding over with the jealousy that coursed through is veins at the sight of this man touching Aaron’s arm.

 _His_ Aaron.

He didn’t want anybody touching him but himself.

He knew it was selfish, and he knew it was wrong of him to feel it.

But he couldn’t bear the thought of anybody else touching him; of Aaron being with anybody else in the same way he was with Robert only a week before.

His breath hitched with the memory of it, and he knew he was in trouble.

Only – what was he supposed to do with it?

He knew he didn’t have the right to stop Aaron from living his life; knew he couldn’t ask Aaron to save himself for Robert, not when Robert was here sat opposite his fiancé at the breakfast table.

But he couldn’t cope to see Aaron with anybody else.

He needed to have Aaron all to himself.

And it was then that he realised – he’d do anything to make sure that was the case.

He just had to find a way to make Aaron come back to him.

 

 

-s-

 

 

He waited until Tuesday – until it had been two days since seeing those reports on Aaron’s big night out – and decided he needed to speak with Aaron face to face.

It was their first training session since he’d seen the articles, and since he’d come the realisation that he needed Aaron in his life.

Since he’d realised that he’d do anything to make sure he didn’t have to face what he’d seen that morning; the thought of Aaron with another man; with anyone other than him.

He waited out on the training pitch as the team arrived and got ready for training – just as he usually did – but for a whole different reason today.

He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was he was feeling – aware it was something wholly unfamiliar to him – but he knew if he had to put a name to it, it would be nerves.

He was nervous.

And Robert Sugden didn’t get _nervous._

He tried to suppress it – tried to tell himself he was being ridiculous, and that all he was going to do was to give Aaron a glimpse of something that would bring him back to him; something that would leave Aaron helpless in resisting his charm; the charm that had worked so well on all of the other one night stands he’d racked up in the past few years.

He ignored the voice in the back of his head that reminded him that Aaron wasn’t like any of the others.

He didn’t have the courage to let himself accept the truth in that nagging doubt.

He watched as the players spilled out of the dressing room, catching Aaron’s eye as he joined the line of players towards the back, holding his gaze as Aaron looked over at him.

He offered him a semblance of a smile, quickly realising he didn’t get one back in return.

Aaron’s attention returned to the ground, and he seemed to be refusing to look in Robert’s direction as he directed the team into their roles for the training session.

Robert was taking a more hands on approach to training than he had done in a while – even having turned up in his club-issued tracksuit for the first time yet – and he was making his way around the players as they carried out their training drills, explaining to them how they could alter their technique to improve.

He tried to edge closer to Aaron at every given opportunity, but couldn’t help notice the fact that Aaron seemed to edge away from him at the same rate, more than a little reluctant to let Robert enter his orbit.

They danced around each other for the duration of the training session, Aaron avoiding Robert’s gaze that he could feel burning into the back of his head every time he turned, and he thought he’d managed to avoid the awkward confrontation when Robert blew his whistle to signal the end of training, drawing the team in for a quick round up of the day’s events before sending them all back to the changing rooms.

Aaron _thought_ he’d avoided it.

Until he heard his name called back as he made his way into the changing rooms.

He tried to ignore it – tried to pretend he hadn’t heard it – until it was repeated, Robert clearly having moved closer this time as the request came louder, and Ross gave him a shove on the shoulder and told him to stop ignoring the gaffer.

He sighed, turning on his heels to head back in Robert’s direction.

“What?” he asked sharply, expression surly as he approached Robert in the middle of the field.

He could see Bob and a couple of the youth academy players training just behind them, and knew at least that Robert wasn’t going to try anything on with him when they had a potential audience.

“Aaron, can we talk?” Robert asked him quietly, more than a hint of desperation in his undertone.

“No,” Aaron dismissed without hesitation.

“Aaron?” Robert questioned him, genuinely taken aback. “Why not?”

Aaron breathed out a quick sigh of disbelief, lips quirking up into a disingenuous smile as his tongue darted out to lick against his bottom lip.

“Because I’m not interested, Robert,” he replied eventually, but still unable to look Robert in the eye.

“Come on Aaron, don’t be like that –”

“Like what?” Aaron interrupted, cold as ice.

“Mad at me!” Robert replied to him, exasperated. “Please,” he begged quietly, “this isn’t easy for me.”

The atmosphere between them shifted somewhat with his confession, and Aaron closed his eyes and rolled his neck on hearing it, the words tapping into that part of him that had been so reluctant to give up on Robert; that part of him that had recognised Robert’s struggle, and had wanted to help him, regardless of the way Robert had treated him.

It went against everything he’d told himself he’d be doing – forgetting about Robert, and moving on from him – but he gritted his teeth, realising that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hear what Robert had to say.

“Let me guess,” Aaron started. “You saw the papers Sunday?”

Robert shifted uncomfortably on his feet, Aaron able to read easily into his expression that he was right.

“This isn’t about that,” Robert lied, unconvincingly.

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Aaron called him out, stepping a little closer to be able to get his face into Robert’s personal space; to be able to look directly into his eyes. “Because I’m pretty sure you’ve shown absolutely no interest in me over the last week, and the other day you wanted nothing more to do with me , and now I suddenly get all this?”

He held his arms up, outstretched in front of him.

Robert paused, staring into Aaron’s eyes before realising he had to concede.

“OK, yeah maybe it is about that,” he admitted gingerly.

Aaron let out a short sarcastic laugh.

“I knew it,” he sneered. “And what about it?”

Robert rubbed his hand against his face, twisting on his heels and gazing into the distance, half intent on making sure nobody could hear them, despite them being in plain sight of the others still training at the back of the field.

“And I didn’t like it,” he admitted quietly, unable to look Aaron in the eye.

Aaron shrugged, letting his eyes train onto Robert’s face for a short while, urging him to glance back and meet his gaze.

He didn’t, and Aaron felt a prickle over his skin; something uncomfortable about the way that Robert couldn’t look at him; still couldn’t admit it to his face.

He felt the instinct kicking in – the one that reminded him of the way Robert had treated him over the past few weeks; the one that was more concerned with self-preservation that it had ever been with helping Robert; the one that screamed at him to run a mile and not get involved with a man with all of Robert Sugden’s baggage – fiancée and all.

The one that made Aaron feel like he had the strength to walk away from him.

“Well, tough luck,” Aaron sneered back at him, turning on his heels to walk the short distance back to the changing rooms.

“Come on, Aaron,” he heard Robert call out after him. “Don’t be like this. Please!”

“I’m not being like anything, Robert,” Aaron called out back to him, stopping his march and turning around to face Robert as he approached him again. “You made it pretty clear you’re not interested. So I’m not gonna hang around waiting for you –”

“Please, Aaron –”

“No, Robert, okay,” he cut him off, done with his pleading. “You don’t like what you saw? You don’t like seeing me with other guys? Fine, I’ll stop. As soon as you go in there and tell them what’s going on,” he explained coolly, pointing towards the changing rooms to emphasise his point. “I’ll be yours, Robert, if you really want it. But if you can’t do that? Then, tough. You’re gonna have to deal with it, Robert, because unless you wanna tell the world what’s happening here, then what I do in my spare time is none of your business, get it?”

Aaron took a second to watch Robert’s expression freeze over; to make sure there was no response, nothing indicating Robert would actually be prepared to do that for him; not that he would have ever expected it.

When it didn’t materialise, unsurprisingly, Aaron turned and marched back to the changing rooms, leaving Robert standing out on the pitch alone with only his tortured thoughts for company.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

Robert had been tempted to text Aaron ever since their altercation on the training pitch, but 24 hours had passed since then, and it was getting harder for him to find the words to send to him.

He hadn’t been able to get Aaron’s words out of his mind.

_I’ll be yours, Robert, if you really want it._

The mere memory of it sent a shiver down his spine, just as it had done when he’d heard the words leave Aaron’s lips out on the training ground the previous day.

Because, as much as he might struggle to admit it, he did really want it.

He wanted it more than he thought he’d ever wanted anything before in his life.

He wanted Aaron Dingle, all to himself.

And not just for a one off.

He kicked at the ground as he waited beside the team coach, engine coughing out diesel fumes despite it trying to pass itself off as ‘elite luxury travel’, and he actually let himself admit it.

He really wanted it.

Aaron Dingle was more to him than just a one-off; more to him that those other lads he’d ensnared with his charms over the years and dropped as soon as he’d taken what he wanted from them.

Aaron Dingle wasn’t going to be that easy to work out of his system.

He could feel himself losing a grip on it, before it had even started, but he found himself losing interest in caring about anything other than getting Aaron exactly where he wanted him, time and time again.

The team had an away game that evening – a fairly local game, only about an hour away from them, which meant the team coach was driving them straight there in time for kick off, and returning them back home after the game. The club usually shelled out for a hotel for the team after a midweek evening away game to allow the players to recover fully, but they’d decided to save money this time around, and Robert couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment that he wouldn’t have the temptation of Aaron Dingle sleeping in a room just down the corridor from him for the night.

A few of the team had already arrived and boarded the coach, Robert waiting to count them all on as he stood by the door at the front of the coach.

He felt a pair of familiar, delicate arms embracing him as he waited for more of the team to arrive, turning to find Chrissie stood behind him at the exact same moment that his eyes traced the outline of Aaron and Adam walking towards the coach from the car park in the distance.

He wasn’t sure if it was the worst timing, or just perfect.

“Hi, babe,” he addressed her as he drew her into a hug, eyes following Aaron’s descent down the hill from the car park in his direction, still not having spotted him.

He glanced down at her, drawing her in for a kiss, glancing upwards again part way through to see that Aaron had finally noticed them, and that he glared back as he got closer to the team coach, close enough now that Robert could see the pulse of his clenching jaw and the fire in his eyes.

He pulled away from Chrissie’s kiss, looking into her eyes, fully aware that Aaron was taking in his every move.

“I’ll miss you,” she told him, eyes glazed over with that helpless expression he knew he elicited in her. “I hate it when you stay away.”

“We aren’t staying over tonight,” he reminded her. “Only an hour away so we’re getting the coach back later.”

“Oh, really?” she questioned, a smile playing over her lips as she flicked her long, silky hair behind her. “So I get you back in our bed tonight, all to myself?” she purred.

Robert bit his lip to stop himself from cringing, aware that Aaron had been passing behind them as she’d said it, and that he would have heard her in perfect clarity.

“Get in there, Robert lad,” Adam teased him as they hopped up onto the coach, laughing as he smacked Robert on the arm playfully. “Dirty dog!”

Chrissie burrowed herself into the crook of Robert’s arm in embarrassment, unaware that they’d been overheard.

Robert laughed at her as he would have been expected to, pulling her in close and kissing the top of her head; but his attention didn’t for one second leave Aaron as he followed Adam onto the team coach, and took a window seat which gave him a perfect view of Robert outside.

Aaron glared back at him through the glass, watching as Robert swallowed down, peeling himself away from Chrissie and whispering something into her ear.

She pulled out of his embrace, gently placing another kiss against Robert’s lips as Robert still held Aaron’s gaze.

Aaron felt a shiver run through him; resentment rising up inside of him again; jealousy threatening to take over.

He broke their gaze, unable to watch for a second longer.

 

 

-s-

 

 

The game had been a typical January mid-week match – cold; damp; and only vaguely worth watching. They’d managed to grind out a win, which put them top of the table until at least the weekend, and as the team filtered back into the dressing room after clapping the away fans, there had been a real buzz in the air. The lads were all high fives and pats on the back; music blaring to drown out the sound of the stadium announcements; laughing and joking aplenty as they celebrated, Robert waiting by the door to the changing rooms to shake each player’s hand and to congratulate them on holding out for a win.

Adam and Aaron were the last to leave the pitch, Adam throwing himself over his best mate’s shoulders as they made their way down the tunnel, jumping and singing the chant that the fans had made up for the both of them.

They reached the door to the changing room and Aaron stiffened on seeing Robert before him, arm outstretched ready to shake his hand. Adam stood behind him, more than a little confused at his best mates hesitance to let Robert congratulate him, and as Aaron pushed Robert’s hand away and moved past him, Adam’s face fell into a frown.

“What have you done now?” Adam asked Robert casually, taking the hand that Robert outstretched to him with ease.

His boss looked away, shrugging unconvincingly.

“No idea,” he answered, biting down on his lip. “Probably still mad about being dropped the other week.”

Adam eyed him with a hint of suspicion, nodding as he feigned acceptance of Robert’s excuse.

“Yeah, probably,” he answered back, before dropping his gaze and making his way into the changing room to join the rest of his teammates.

Robert kicked himself.

He hated Aaron being so cold with him; and besides, he couldn’t carry on being so obvious with it, else he knew the team would start to get suspicious about something.

He tried to get Aaron’s attention through the lads in the dressing room, but it was clear that Aaron was making a point of avoiding his gaze, so he took out his phone and decided to try and get his attention another way.

_Can we talk?_

He watched from the other side of the room as Aaron took his phone from his kit bag, reading the text message and freezing for a second, before shaking his head ever-so-slightly and placing his phone down on the bench in the changing rooms, never once looking in Robert’s direction.

_Aaron, please._

Robert sent, trying again.

Aaron’s attention was drawn by the flashing LED light on his phone, but Robert noticed that he made a point of turning his phone over and ignoring the text.

He suspected that Aaron knew he was being watched.

_I just want to sort things out, Aaron. Stay behind when the others go back out for the warm down. Please._

He knew Aaron wouldn’t be checking the phone whilst he was in the room, so he sloped off to face the press waiting in the corridors outside, answering the various repetitive questions in the same repetitive manner, realising he was more than a little on edge at the thought of Aaron rejecting him once again.

He was answering the questions for around fifteen minutes, watching as a few of his players trailed back out of the changing rooms, now in full tracksuits, ready to carry out the short warm down that was customary after a game, once the fans had left the stadium.

He realised he’d seen Adam make his way back out, but that Aaron hadn’t been with him.

He hoped that meant what he thought it did.

He rounded up the last interview, eager to see whether Aaron had stayed behind for him.

His heart lurched into his throat when he walked into the changing room and saw Aaron sat on one of the benches, looking up at him as soon as the door opened.

“We alone?” Robert asked, quietly.

Aaron breathed out a sarcastic laugh.

“Yeah,” Aaron confirmed with a downturn of his lips.

Robert shut the door behind him and walked over to where Aaron sat, hesitating before sitting on the bench opposite him, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Go on then,” Aaron invited him after waiting for Robert to break the silence.

“Go on what?” Robert questioned, as if he hadn’t been the one to ask Aaron to stay behind.

“Go on and say whatever it is you’ve gotta say so I can stop having to sneak around in these weird meetings with you,” Aaron snarled at him, frustrated.

Robert rubbed his face with his hands and leant back against the cold brick wall, banging his head against the wall twice before bringing his eye line forwards again to meet Aaron’s gaze.

“That was all Chrissie this morning,” he explained, guiltily. “I didn’t mean, I didn’t – ”

“You expect me to believe that?” Aaron snapped.

“Honestly, she thought we were staying over tonight,” he explained, and even Aaron could tell he was being genuine. “She wanted to say goodbye –”

“Convenient, though –”

“I wouldn’t thrust it in your face like that, Aaron,” Robert insisted, raising his voice somewhat in frustration.

“Whatever,” Aaron muttered under his breath dismissively.

He wasn’t sure he had ever felt quite so conflicted. There was something undeniable about the way that Robert Sugden made him feel – something that was drawing him back in, time and time again, against all of his better judgement; something that made it so easy to forget the way he’d turned on him so easily in the past; something that made him helpless in the face of it, drawn towards him every time; something that had made him want to help Robert, despite it all, and to give him everything he asked for.

Aaron upturned his lips and let his gaze fall to the floor, trying his best to feign disinterest, despite being so acutely aware that he felt anything but that.

“I wouldn’t, Aaron,” Robert pleaded again as he reached out towards Aaron, placing a hand against his arm.

Aaron flinched away instinctively, with a grumbled _get off_ that made Robert sigh in exasperation.

“Are you done?” Aaron asked as he stood up to leave.

Robert stood up with him in unison.

“Don’t go,” Robert tried to stop him as Aaron made his way towards the door. “I want you,” he admitted, and it was at such as whisper that it was almost unheard.

Aaron’s heart leapt inside of him, and he could feel his resistance dripping away from him; could feel himself losing a grip on his strength in the face of Robert Sugden. It was as if hearing the words broke down a wall inside of him; made him even more helpless to resist than he had been before.

“Get out of my way, Robert,” Aaron insisted as he glared at him, still trying to fight it, attempting to edge past him and towards the door once more, desperate to be able to walk away from what he was well aware was the inevitable.

Robert stopped him again, palms against his chest this time, unable to ignore the pace of Aaron’s racing heart as it beat against his hand, the both of them so very aware of the charge between them, Robert blinking as he held Aaron’s gaze.

He watched as Aaron’s eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips and back again; as his breathing started to gather pace; as his shoulders dropped slightly as his resistance waned, incapable of fighting much longer against everything that his body so desperately needed to take from him.

Robert fisted his palms against the material of Aaron’s tracksuit, so acutely aware of the heat between them, his mouth watering with it as they both found themselves helpless in the face of this electricity that existed between them.

They couldn’t stop it.

They were both powerless in the face off it.

Aaron moved first, Robert matching him instantly, and their lips crashed together with such vigour that Robert stumbled backwards, off balance, his back crashing against the wall as Aaron pushed his body up against him, groaning with it as he wrapped his hands around Robert’s neck, pulling his boss in towards him, swiping his tongue against Robert’s lips until they opened up and let him in, tongues sliding together, stealing the breath they had both forgotten to take.

Robert slid his hands up inside the hem of Aaron’s t-shirt and around his waist, pulling him in closer, kissing him back furiously and just enjoying the sensation of having Aaron’s heat up against him; groaning with the feel of Aaron’s dick rubbing up against him as he felt him stiffening, hard and unforgiving, and he needed to pull him closer; needed to feel Aaron’s body pressed up against him further. He slid a hand down the back of Aaron’s tracksuit bottoms – inside the waistband of his tight boxers – and grabbed at his muscular cheeks as he pulled him even closer, the friction making him whine as their rock solid erections rubbed up against one another; sending Robert dizzy with anticipation.

Aaron was unforgiving in his assault of Robert’s senses, hands tugging at the short hairs at the back of Robert’s head before snaking his free hand around to push in between them, fiddling with the buckle of the belt on his jeans before finding his route inside, grasping at the now familiar solidity of Robert’s cock, instantly working him into a rhythm as Robert moaned breathily into Aaron’s mouth, unable to break himself away from their kiss, desperation taking over him as their tongues reacquainted with one another with such a need for more than they could hardly breathe with it.

Robert shuddered with it, the sensation almost too much for him to bear; more than he’d ever experienced before in his life, and he knew what he needed to do; knew it was his turn to give to Aaron; knew he needed to sink himself inside of this man that just wouldn’t escape from his thoughts.

He squeezed at his arse cheeks as his breath stuttered with the intensity of the way that Aaron was working his dick, and he pulled away sloppily from their kiss as he struggled to catch his breath, all the while sliding his finger up and down the middle of his cheeks, tracing lightly over his hole to tease him.

“Fuck, Robert,” Aaron breathed out, leaning his face against Robert’s cheek as he whispered the words into his ear. “Do it, please,” he begged shamelessly, switching arms to be able to continue his assault on Robert’s leaking dick.

Robert pulled his hands from Aaron’s boxers, sucking at his fingers to slick them up quickly, before returning them back to Aaron’s hole, teasing at the rim gently as Aaron rocked back against him; desperate for it, begging for it with every synapse in his body, and Robert was powerless to hold off in the face of it.

He pushed his finger inside, breaching past the muscle slowly, his own breath hitching at the sound of Aaron’s whimper in his ear; at the feel of Aaron’s body shuddering against him as he pushed in slowly, working back and forth in a gentle rhythm at first, until Aaron begged him for more in the breaks between their kisses, and he let his finger fuck into him at pace, sliding another spit-slicked digit in alongside, grazing against Aaron’s prostate and making him go weak against him each time; scissoring his fingers open to make sure Aaron was fully aware of his intentions.

“Let me fuck you,” Robert whispered into Aaron’s ear, eliciting the most carnal groan from his club captain as he tugged away at his dick and peppered bruising kisses along his neck.

“Uh, please, yes, Robert,” Aaron begged for it, already rocking his body back onto Robert’s fingers as they fucked into him, loosening his grip of Robert’s cock as his ability to maintain his composure crumbled to pieces around him.

He whimpered as Robert pulled his fingers out of him, stepping backwards as he followed their path, desperate to feel full again; aching with the loss of contact for all of a few seconds as Robert pulled away from him, reaching into the side of his bag and inside his wallet to bring out a condom and a sachet of lube; Aaron ignoring why he’d have them so readily available as his mind spun with the heady anticipation of having Robert inside of him.

Robert spun them around, stepping up behind Aaron as he pushed his chest up against the wall of the changing rooms, both still fully clothed until Robert pulled at the waistband of Aaron’s tracksuit bottoms and boxers, letting them puddle to the floor.

Robert snaked a hand around Aaron’s hip, grasping his cock in his right hand and immediately working at it; delirious with the feel of Aaron’s length for the first time, so much bigger than he had anticipated, and _damn_ if he couldn’t wait for Aaron to return the favour of what he was about to do to him.

He gave the condom and lube to Aaron who faced the wall in front of him, watching him tear the wrapping of each one open hurriedly, passing the condom back for Robert to roll it on with his free hand, and reaching behind to let his hands spread the cold lube against Robert’s dick; aware of the groan Robert let out at the touch of his hands against him once more; the kisses Robert placed against his neck making his body feel more alive than he’d ever known.

Robert lined himself up, asking if Aaron was ready and waiting for his begging acceptance before pushing himself forwards, sinking himself deep inside of Aaron’s hole; his forehead falling forwards to rest against Aaron’s shoulder as the sensation of it became all too much for him.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he pushed himself all the way in; Aaron pushing back against him as he whimpered with it, begging under his breath for more, resting one hand against the wall in front of him as he reached behind him with the other, grabbing at Robert’s arse, pulling him in closer with every thrust.

Robert worked his hips into a punishing rhythm, matching it in perfect sync with his hand around Aaron’s leaking dick, resting his other hand up against the wall in front of them as he nuzzled himself into Aaron’s neck, kissing and sucking at his skin to send shivers racing down Aaron’s spine.

It was electric, and it was heated, and they worked up their pace as their bodies slotted alongside each other like two pieces of a jigsaw, and it was everything Robert knew it would be from the first second he laid eyes on Aaron.

And, fuck, did he know he was in trouble.

He couldn’t have cared less though, and he licked a strip up Aaron’s jawline as he felt his knees trembling with the sensation of himself buried deep inside of Aaron; each thrust dragging expletives out of Aaron’s filthy mouth that sent him wild with it; needing to bury himself further, deeper, longer, and for it to never end.

“I’m nearly there,” Aaron whispered as he twisted his neck to catch Robert’s lips into a punishing kiss, and the sensation of his tongue against his own was enough to tip Aaron over the edge, his dick throbbing with it as he rocked his hips, fisting his hands as he slammed them against the wall, riding through his orgasm and calling out Robert’s name in awe as he shot his load over the wall in front of him, Robert’s assault on his dick only ceasing once he’d milked every last drop of his pleasure from him.

Robert pulled his hand away, still buried deep inside of Aaron and closing in on his own imminent release as he bucked his hips furiously, trailing his now free hand up the wall to where Aaron’s hand lay, linking his fingers in with Aaron’s as he tipped himself over the edge, squeezing at his fingers as his whole body tensed up with the intensity of his orgasm ripping through him.

He cried out desperately, his dick throbbing with his release, and he collapsed forwards, resting his whole body up against Aaron’s as he pulsed his hips forwards slowly to try and draw out this feeling for as long as he could.

“Aaron, fucking hell,” he whispered repeatedly into the space between where their lips grazed against each other sloppily, heady with the realisation of what they’d just done, and how they’d just torn one another’s world apart in a way they’d never known before.

“That was…” Robert started, but he didn’t have the words to describe it.

“Yeah, it was,” Aaron replied knowingly.

 _The best they’d ever had_.

Robert leant up against him, both of them helpless now in the aftermath of it, breathing ragged as they floated back down to earth; Robert’s limp dick still nestled inside of Aaron until he could compose himself enough to pull out, ripping off the condom and tying it up, before placing a kiss against Aaron’s neck and peeling himself away from him, finding the bin in the corner of the room and throwing away the evidence of their union.

Robert stood breathless in the middle of the changing rooms, regaining enough composure to tidy himself up and to buckle his trousers back up, smoothing down the crumples that had formed in his shirt after having been pressed up against the back of Aaron’s body.

Aaron took a second to sort himself out too; pulling his boxers and tracksuit bottoms back up and finding a tissue to wipe away the evidence of their encounter from where it had been smeared up against the walls of the changing room.

He turned to face Robert, eventually, catching his gaze and holding it for a short second, the both of them unaware what to say to one another; Robert with his hands on his hips, Aaron with his arms crossed.

After a moment, they both smiled knowingly, and broke out into a mutual sated laughter; oh-so-well aware of what they’d just done to one another.

“You’re fucking incredible,” Robert  told him, almost mesmerised by it.

“This can’t be it,” Aaron said, after what felt like forever.

Robert smiled, taking a second before edging closer to Aaron, standing directly in front of him, close enough that his skin was tingling alive with his proximity.

“No chance,” Robert replied, stroking a hand down Aaron’s bicep. “I can’t…I can’t not feel like _that_ again.”

“I know,” Aaron replied with a smile. “But if we’re doing this, we’re doing this Robert. This coming and going is killing me. None of this blowing me off after every time we –”

“Aaron,” Robert interrupted him. “There is no way I could walk away from you now.”

Aaron smiled, and Robert realised it might have been the most genuine smile he’d ever seen from his centre forward, and he leant in to place a kiss against his lips.

Aaron deepened it, pushing his body up against Robert, the older man responding with every beat of it until they both snapped away from each other at the sound of football studs on the tiles outside as the team came back in from their warm down, Aaron rushing to sit on one of the benches as Robert disappeared into the back room before his team burst back through the door.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

The team had showered – Aaron grateful for the chance to do so for a different reason to his usual post-match shower – and before long they were boarding the coach again for their return back home.

Robert waited at the front of the coach, as usual, to count his players aboard, and Aaron couldn’t control the smile that broke out on his face when he met Robert’s eye as he climbed aboard; Robert mirroring his every emotion, having to bite down on his lip to stop himself from giving them away.

Aaron made his way to the seat next to Adam, glancing up to realise that Robert was still staring back in his direction; his eyes snapping up to his face as soon as Aaron turned around, making it so obvious they’d been trained on something further south as Aaron had walked down the aisle of the coach.

“Everything alright, mate,” Adam asked him as he slid down in the seat next to him, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

Aaron managed to tear his eyes away from Robert to glance over at his best mate, oblivious to his dawning realisation.

“Fine, yeah,” he replied with a shrug. “Why?”

“No reason,” Adam replied, glancing between Aaron and his manager who stood awkwardly at the front of the coach, checking all of his players were present before nodding to the driver to start the short one hour journey back to the Dales United ground.

Aaron nodded, smiling as he stared down at his phone, hovering over his messages icon.

“Where did you disappear to?” Adam asked, biting down on his lip.

Aaron sighed, seeming more than a little exasperated at Adam’s constant questions.

“Just, umm,” Aaron hesitated, glancing back up at Robert. “Needed a bit of physio, I felt a bit tight,” he explained.

The bus started moving off, and Aaron pushed one of his headphones into his ears.

“You want one?” he offered one of his ear buds to Adam.

His friend shook his head, taking out his own headphones and sliding them over his ears.

Aaron pushed the other ear bud into his ear, resting his head back against the headrest, and letting the smile stretch across his face as he closed his eyes, memories of Robert’s body pressed up against him keeping him company for the duration of the coach journey home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please come say hi on tumblr and let me know what you thought - wellyfullofale ;)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your wonderful comments, they are my lifeblood and I am eternally grateful for your love and validation.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one. There's not much plot, really. Just, y'know. Other stuff.

**_Chapter Eleven_ **

**_Robert:_ ** _So, are we good?_

Aaron couldn’t help but smirk as he saw Robert’s text message appear on his phone lock screen.

Not only had he not run away this time, but he was actually texting him too?

He glanced over at Adam who sat on the sofa to the left of him, the both of them watching a round-up of the goals on TV from that night – including their own game – in their usual wind down routine after a night match.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Yep. More than good_

He replied, smiling to himself, before typing out another message and hitting send.

**_Aaron:_ ** _I like it better when you don’t run off ;)_

**_Robert:_ ** _Don’t, please._

Robert’s reply filled him with regret at making light of it.

He waited to see if Robert was going to send him more, before reluctantly sending his apology.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Sorry_

**_Robert:_ ** _When can I see you next?_

His reply made it clear he was keen to move the subject on, and Aaron couldn’t help but tease him.

**_Aaron:_ ** _We’ve got training tomorrow ;)_

**_Robert:_ ** _Not like that. You know how I mean._

**_Aaron:_ ** _I can check when Adam’s out next._

**_Robert:_ ** _Hope it’s tomorrow ;)_

Aaron couldn’t help but smile at that.

Adam noticed, it seemed, his attention piqued from where he sat on the sofa to Aaron’s left.

“What’s making you so happy?” he asked, face etched in suspicion.

Aaron’s face dropped, and he coughed to compose himself.

“Nothing,” he muttered back, feigning indifference; as if his whole world hadn’t been set alight earlier that evening when Robert Sugden fucked him senseless in the changing rooms after the game.

“Don’t give me that, you haven’t stopped smirking since the game,” Adam quipped, poking his finger into Aaron’s ribs playfully.

“Get off,” Aaron shrugged him off, dismissively. “Just pleased with the result, aren’t I,” he lied.

He noticed the LED light flashing on his phone, and waited until Adam’s attention had flicked back to the TV screen for a second before he checked it.

**_Robert:_ ** _Are you alone right now?_

Aaron’s stomach somersaulted.

Adam saw it all in his facial expression as he glanced back from the TV screen.

“Come on, don’t give me that, who’s texting you and got you all in fluster?” he pressed, his tone playful, excited to see his friend happy.

“No-one,” Aaron stuttered, changing it to “My mum,” when Adam gave him the glare.

“Bullshit, mate,” Adam laughed back at him. “Look, is it that bloke you were trying to make jealous? Tell me it worked, please!”

Aaron tried biting the inside of his gum to stop himself from giving the game away, but he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, and he knew that the game was up.

“Maybe,” he admitted coyly, aware that Adam had no idea the man in question was their boss.

“Yes, man!” Adam smiled back, slapping his shoulder playfully, but Aaron could see he was holding something back.

“What?” he asked, frowning a little, unable to properly keep up with his best mates flutter from excitement to concern.

“Well I thought you said he was a jerk?”

Aaron sighed, flicking up his eyebrows.

He couldn’t deny that Robert _had been_ an absolute jerk on occasion, and he hadn’t forgotten the way that he’d treated him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that what he saw in those few moments that they’d been together – _really_ been together – was the real Robert Sugden; the one that nobody else got to see.

Aaron recognised the fear within him; knew the confusion that Robert must have been feeling, and even a little of the self-loathing that had been evident on a few occasions.

Aaron was well aware of what he was letting himself in for – he knew that Robert was engaged, and he knew that this was only going to be short-lived, but he’d passed the point of being able to ignore what existed between them – this simmering tension that they needed to deal with or become prisoners to – and he was done fighting against it.

If Robert wanted this – a bit of fun, no strings attached – then he wasn’t going to turn him down. He’d just let it run its course, and get it out of his system.

That would work.

Surely.

“I might have been a bit hasty,” Aaron admitted in reply to Adam’s concerns. “He’s just a bit guarded. It’s just casual, anyway,” he added, although even he wasn’t convinced.

He knew himself and Robert didn’t have a future – knew he would be marrying Chrissie in the summer – but he felt like he wanted to take what he could get from Robert whilst he could; whilst Robert was willing to give to him.

It wasn’t like he was going to develop feelings for the guy, after all.

“Yeah, well look after yourself,” Adam replied.

Aaron shrugged his concern away, clicking his phone screen and reminding himself that he had Robert’s question to answer.

He tapped out his reply.

**_Aaron:_ ** _No. With Adam._

Robert’s return was almost instant.

**_Robert:_ ** _Find out when he’s out then._

Aaron smirked, enjoying the desperation to Robert’s tone.

“When are you on your next date, anyway?” Aaron asked, coolly changing the subject to get the information Robert was in need of.

Adam’s face lit up at the reminder of it.

“Going to walk her dogs after training Thursday,” he smiled.

Aaron clenched his jaw in anticipation.

“How romantic,” Aaron rolled his eyes, taking out his phone and punching out a message to Robert.

**_Aaron:_ ** _He’ll be out Thursday after training_

**_Robert:_ ** _Looking forward to it ;)_

 

-s-

 

Training on Wednesday had been uneventful, other than Aaron seeming to have found himself in good form, firing home three goals during the training game, and beating all of his teammates during the fitness drills.

If anyone would have asked him, of course he would have denied that it was Robert’s encouraging presence on the side lines which made him step up his game. He would have insisted it was some other outside factor that gave him the boost to do better than he would usually, and not the constant suggestive glare of Robert, or the way that Robert smiled at him when he scored, or the way that Robert’s gaze seemed to follow him wherever he went, or the way that Robert licked his lips and smirked at him when he beat all of the others in the bleep test.

Aaron had been desperate to steal a moment with Robert alone, but his boss had been whisked away by Bob as soon as training had ended, and despite having tried to drag his feet after training in the hope that he’d be back by the time he was done, Adam seemed to be more impatient than usual to get them home, and he’d given in reluctantly without catching a moment with Robert.

His mom had popped around to visit him that afternoon, and she’d nagged him for being too focused on his phone within the first 3 minutes of her arrival, so he’d had to leave it on the side with more than a little reluctance.

“So,” his mom asked as soon as she took the cup of tea from him, eyebrow raised as she regarded him, clearly thinking her son had something to tell her.

Aaron shrugged, widening his eyes in response to her silent question.

“So, what?” he asked, dismissively.

“So, Aaron,” she sighed, smiling. “Are you going to tell me about this fella?”

Aaron coughed as he took a sip from his mug, tea spluttering onto the table as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, before pulling his hoodie over his hand and using the material to mop up the drops of tea on the table in front of him.

Chas tutted at him.

“What fella?” he asked, ignoring her disapproval.

“The one you’re all over the papers with!”

Aaron huffed out a laugh, partly through relief.

His mom was excited, he could tell. She’d always championed him finding someone to settle down with, aware that he’d been burnt in the past, and since his public coming out she’d been on at him to find someone, now that the complication of keeping it secret had disappeared.

He couldn’t exactly tell her that he _had_ found someone, but that he was going to have to keep it quiet all over again, for a completely different reason.

“He just chatted me up in the bar, mum,” he told her casually.

She glanced over at him, expecting more.

“And then what?” she added after a short pause.

“And then nothing, mum!” he laughed, taking a sip of his tea. “We didn’t hit it off, so he walked away, and the papers made it into something it wasn’t. That is it.”

He was aware of the crestfallen look on her face – he knew his mom well enough to know if there was one thing she hoped for, it was for Aaron to be able to find someone that made him happy.

And not just in the way that Adam did.

“When are you going to find someone?” she sighed, in her usual defeated tone.

“Mum, honestly,” he rolled his eyes and shook his head at her. “When are you gonna get off my back about it. I’m fine on my own.”

“Except you’re not, love. None of us are. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am,” he shrugged, hesitant. “How can I not be happy, I’ve got the best job in the world.”

“Yeah, unless that Robert Sugden decides to start dropping you again,” she muttered under her breath with a sigh.

He nearly coughed out his tea again at the sound of his name on his mom’s lips, forgetting how mad she’d been on the phone when he’d told her that Robert had dropped him the other week; how she’d been ready to drive over to the ground and give him a piece of her mind, until Aaron had stopped her.

“He won’t,” Aaron reassured her.

“How do you – ”

“He won’t, okay?!” he stopped her in her tracks; couldn’t face having this conversation full in the knowledge that Robert was fast becoming so much more than just his manager.

He daren’t even contemplate what her reaction would be to that.

Mind, it wasn’t like she was ever going to know, was it? They’d just get this _thing –_ whatever it was – out of their system, and keep it a secret, and nobody would ever have to know.

“Well, he’ll have me to answer to if he ever pulls a stunt like that again.”

He nodded, widening his eyes to show his sarcastic approval of her protective tendencies.

Aaron couldn’t help but feel reassured by the way his mum defended him, regardless of the situation; but he wasn’t about to let her know that was the case.

He swiftly moved the conversation on, unwilling to dwell too much on Robert for fear of his mum being able to pick up on the fact that he was incapable of keeping himself away from the man.

His mum stayed for a few hours, talking him through the various bits of news from her life – how her and Jason had just booked themselves a cruise for the summer, and they were trying to persuade Paddy and Rhona to join them.

He checked his phone as soon as she left, disappointed to see nothing from Robert amongst the various other whatsapp messages, emails and snapchats that he’d got lined up on his lock screen.

He resisted the urge to be the first to text Robert for the rest of the night; despite the thought nagging away at the back of his mind repeatedly.

 

-s-

 

Thursday’s training session had been the longest four hours of Aaron’s life.

He’d locked eyes with Robert across the changing room as soon as he’d arrived, drawn in by the smirk on the side of Robert’s face, and by the look in his eye that seemed to promise everything Aaron wanted – _needed –_ to take from him and more.

He’d changed in to his training kit, completely aware that Robert’s eyes were watching him the whole time; that Robert was biting down on his lip whenever he glanced back at him; that Robert was trying to pull his eyes away as Aaron’s pulled his top up and over his head, revealing the definition of his muscular frame underneath.

It wasn’t like Aaron was an obsessive gym-goer, but his footballing career made it easy for him to stay in shape, and he knew that Robert would like what he saw.

Out on the training pitch Aaron was on fire again – leading the team in the drills and aware that he was putting in just that extra it of effort in than he usually would.

Robert watched him intently all session – eyes focusing on the sight of his shorts riding up his muscular thighs as he ran and jumped over the ladder ropes laid out on the floor – thoughts wandering to the way his tongue would feel running up and down the indent of his thigh muscles; how soft and tender the skin would be on Aaron’s inner thighs.

Robert had to stop himself from staring – had to remind himself that he needed to pay attention to the other players he had before him; that there was more than one man out on the training pitch in front on him.

Except, there was only one out there that he knew he was going to devour as soon as training had finished.

And god, he couldn’t wait for it.

He’d spent the past two days in a stupor, Chrissie having questioned his mental whereabouts on numerous occasions as he found his thoughts wandering, preoccupied completely with the memory of Aaron, pliant under his touch in the changing rooms the other night; coming apart at the sensation of Robert inside of him.

He was so desperate for it again.

He’d barely thought of anything since; had had to physically restrain himself from reaching out and texting Aaron at every given opportunity; had to pull himself from his thoughts time and time again as the hours had passed by.

He realised he needed to check their after-training liaison was still going ahead; no idea what he’d do if Aaron had to cancel and make him wait any longer for it.

“Aaron!” Robert called out, grabbing Aaron’s attention from where he stood in the far goalmouth.

“Aaron, over here a sec,” Robert shouted again. “Need to just have a quick chat.”

Robert feigned nonchalence, aware that the other players out on the field were glancing in his direction.

Aaron jogged over, and Robert watched as his training top clung to his torso and his biceps, definition of his body flexing as he advanced towards him with a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye.

Damn; he looked good.

Something fizzled underneath Robert’s skin at the sight of him, and he bit the inside of his gum so as to steady himself.

“Yes, boss,” Aaron smirked as he approached Robert, aware that they were out of earshot of anyone else on the training field.

Robert laughed – a low, guttural noise emitting from him that make Aaron’s skin tingle with anticipation.

“You can keep calling me that,” Robert purred, looking up at Aaron through his lashes as he stood with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Aaron’s smile widened on one side of his face.

“I’ll bear that in mind,” Aaron quipped back, raising an eyebrow in Robert’s direction.

“Still on for after?” Robert asked, losing all hope of remaining casual.

“Try and stop me,” Aaron replied, the look in his eye making Robert sure he could get hard just by looking at him.

Robert had to take a deep breath – sure he’d forgotten to breathe for just a moment in anticipation of what he was going to do to Aaron once training had finished.

“I’ll head to yours when I’m done here then, yeah?” Robert questioned, making plans.

Aaron nodded.

“I’ll text you once Adam’s gone,” he added, before turning to make his way back to the rest of the team.

“Will he be out long?” Robert asked him, stopping him before he started to run back.

Aaron turned back to face him and raised his eyebrows.

“Why, what have you got planned?” he teased.

“I think you know,” Robert quipped back, his voice low and sultry in a way that made Aaron’s stomach flip in anticipation. “What’s he doing, anyway?”

Aaron had a second where he realised that Adam was due out on a date with Robert’s sister, and that there was no way on earth he should be letting that little snippet of information known to Robert.

“Golf,” he coughed on his lie, glancing to the floor. “He’s out playing golf.”

Robert nodded, oblivious.

“Should have a few hours then?”

Aaron laughed in anticipation. He was sure Adam and Vic’s dog walk would be followed with some sort of coffee date, so it was safe to assume they’d have a few hours to themselves.

“Later, then,” Aaron smirked as he made his way back to the training field.

“Later,” Robert repeated, hands in his pockets still as he swayed slightly, feeling like a teenager all over again as his eyes settled on Aaron’s delectable arse as it retreated away from him.

Aaron resisted the urge to turn around and catch him looking; well aware of where he’d find Robert’s eyes lingering.

 

-s-

 

Less than three minutes after Adam had walked out of the door, Robert was knocking it down with such vigour Aaron was left in no doubt who would be stood the other side; swinging the door open with a smirk and a raised eyebrow and his eyes met Robert’s the other side.

“Afternoon,” he welcomed him, desperately playing down the way his heart had leapt up into his stomach at the sight of Robert stood before him, still in his dark blue jeans, light blue shirt and his navy jacket that he wore to training.

Robert hesitated for less than a second before he launched himself inside, catching the door with his left hand to slam it shut behind him as he reached  out with his right hand, pawing at Aaron’s face as he pulled him in to searing kiss.

Aaron responded on instinct, grunting with the force of Robert’s kiss against his lips, tilting his head and opening up to let Robert’s tongue inside, to let the thick muscle of his tongue glide alongside his own, reaching up and grabbing at Robert’s shoulders, pulling him closer, needing him, _needing_ to feel his body against his own, his heat, his desperation seeping from every pore like it was from his own.

He stumbled backwards with the force of Robert’s passion for him, heels hitting against the bottom step of the stairs, hands reaching backwards as he realised Robert wasn’t stopping, wasn’t giving him chance to walk backwards up the stairs and to his bedroom because he was so _fucking desperate_ for him that he couldn’t wait that long.

“I want you here,” Robert slurred in between kisses, palms against Aaron’s chest as he pushed him down, Aaron laughing into his kiss as he slid down onto the third step of their staircase, his back rebounding awkwardly against the step above as he held onto the banister to steady his landing.

Robert was on top of him immediately, Aaron opening his legs instinctively to let Robert crawl in between, arching his back up to catch the kiss Robert pushed against his lips as he loomed over him on all fours.

Aaron could make out his freckles again from this close, aware of his gaze softening as Robert took a second to pull back and to look down at him, eyes darkened with lust, licking his lips with anticipation of what he knew he was about to do.

Aaron’s hands found their way inside Robert’s suit jacket and onto his waist, trailing backwards until his palms were flat against Robert’s back, and pulling the blond man back down towards him; lips reconnecting but softer this time; languid; discovering.

Aaron let his hands wander further south, grabbing at Robert’s arse as Robert pulled his lips away, peppering wet kisses along Aaron’s cheek, down his jawline, nibbling at his earlobe.

“I wanna taste you,” he whispered into Aaron’s ear between kisses, the tickle of his breath against Aaron’s ear sending a shiver through Aaron’s spine and straight to his dick, sure he might have been seconds from coming just off the sensation of it if Robert had carried on; hard now and ready for what Robert had for him, desperate for it.

Aaron groaned, writhing about beneath Robert as he tried to grind up against him, his body searching for the friction he needed to push against but struggling with the angles as edges of stairs dugs into parts of his back and his thighs.

Robert knew what he was after – could feel his own need burning up inside of him – but there was something he wanted more than his own satisfaction; something he’d needed since he’d felt the perfect curve of Aaron’s dick in his hand the other day in the changing rooms; something he’d been waking up in a hot sweat having dreamt about it every night since.

He pulled away from Aaron, aware of the way his body keened with the withdrawal as Robert knelt up in between Aaron’s legs, licking his lips as he smirked down at him; wanton; pleading.

He flicked an eyebrow as his hands pulled at the waistband of Aaron’s tracksuit bottoms, finger trailing around the hem of his boxers, sliding across towards the middle where he could see Aaron’s hard on was pushing up against the dark material.

He let his finger brush against the tip of Aaron’s dick, the velvet smooth tip of it, smiling at the guttural noise that escaped the man below him, at the way his back arched with it as Robert moved his finger along and away from his cock, revelling in the sound of Aaron’s whimpers beneath him at the loss of contact.

“Robert,” Aaron uttered, delirium kicking in as his head spun with the anticipation of what he knew Robert was about to do to him.

“Yes, Aaron?” Robert teased, his mouth aching now for Aaron’s cock, saliva watering his mouth in the knowledge that he’d be tasting Aaron’s need for him in a matter of seconds.

“Please, Robert,” he begged; whimpered; pleaded for Robert’s mouth on him.

Robert swallowed down, detecting the movement of Aaron’s hips as he lifted them up to allow Robert to pull his boxers and trousers down, which he obliged with in one swift movement, Aaron’s bare arse slamming back down on the step as he reached out for the contact he needed.

Robert was helpless to resist, staring down at the sight of Aaron’s pulsating cock beneath him. He’d fucked it with his hands before, but he’d never seen the beauty of it laid out so bare in front of him – thick and solid – and he had the fleeting need to sink himself on top of it; to feel that length split him open and make him beg for it.

But that could wait; he could wait.

This needed to happen first.

He needed to quench his thirst for Aaron’s dick before he could even think about getting himself off; needed to know if Aaron tasted as good as he had done in all of the ways he’d imagined him over the past few weeks.

“Robert, please,” Aaron repeated, begging some more, shameless with it, and it was what Robert needed to hear.

He shuffle his knees back and dropped himself down to the hallway floor, face to face with Aaron’s length, and he pulled his tracksuit bottoms all the way down to his ankles, before letting his hands slide slowly back up his legs, trickling through the coarse hairs, until he was grabbing at those thigh muscles he’d spent the whole training session admiring, and his face was in between his legs before he could stop himself, tongue licking a strip up Aaron’s inner thigh, nibbling at the tender skin as he teased him.

“Just…just…please,” Aaron moaned; the anticipation too much for him now; the need for Robert’s lips on him too great for him to be patient with this torture.

Robert laughed against Aaron’s thighs, the vibrations of it sending a wave of pleasure through Aaron that made him jerk up, make him reach down and take his own cock in his hands; damned if he’d be waiting for Robert to do it.

“No,” Robert warned him playfully, his hands moving up from Aaron’s thighs to pull at his forearms, to separate Aaron’s hands from his own cock.

That was his job.

He leant up and over Aaron’s stomach, pinning his arms by his sides as he held Aaron’s gaze, his chin hovering above the tip of Aaron’s cock where it lay begging and desperate against his stomach.

Aaron shifted his hips up, desperate for some sort of feeling against him, and Robert smirked back at him knowingly, before darting his tongue out of his mouth, locking his gaze on Aaron’s still as he let the tip of it whisper over the skin of his torso.

He couldn’t stop himself any longer, needed to taste Aaron just as much as Aaron needed his lips on him, and he let his tongue continue its path, Aaron squirming with the sensation of it as he reached the slit of his cock, wet with pre cum, and Robert lapped it up, a groan escaping his own lips involuntarily as he let his tongue continue down the length of Aaron’s cock.

“Fuck…fuck,” Aaron breathed out as he writhed around under Robert’s touch, pulsating now with the need for Robert to finish him, to let him fuck into his mouth and to take him whole.

Robert wanted to tease, wanted to drag out the build up to this orgasm as much as he could, but his resolve was weakening, the taste of Aaron making him desperate for it; his shameless begging so unexpected that he knew he couldn’t hold out; knew he was going to give in and give Aaron everything was pleading for in a matter of –

“Please!”

And that was it; Robert cracked.

His carnal need took over, and he let out a groan as he let go of Aaron’s hands and grabbed at his cock, wrapping his fingers around his length and working him into a rhythm as he held him upright, lining up his lips as he licked them slick.

He flattened out his tongue and let himself devour along Aaron’s length, hands working away as he heard Aaron’s breathing quicken, his chest heaving and Robert couldn’t resist, let his free hand smooth over the plains of Aaron’s stomach, sliding under his t-shirt as he reached for his nipple, tweaking against it gently to send a shiver of need and desperation through Aaron’s wanton body; Aaron keening into his touch, groaning through his breathlessness at the feel of it.

He stilled the rhythm of his other hand, letting his mouth take over to do the work as he wrapped his lips around the tip, kissing against it sloppily, sound of the suction of his lips against Aaron’s leaking slit making Robert’s solid cock pulse in his trousers.

He opened his mouth, hand holding Aaron’s cock as he let his tongue circle around the head before closing his lips around him, engulfing him, lowering his head down to take Aaron’s length inside of him, hands working at the bottom half of Aaron’s cock as he worked his mouth into a similar rhythm, spurred on by the sound of Aaron’s gentle moans as he leant his head back against the stairs, hips circling as his need for Robert intensified, the white hot heat of his orgasm circling dangerously close to the surface.

Robert revelled in it; the sound of Aaron begging for him; the ministrations of his hips pushing Aaron closer to him with each thrust, his arse rutting against the carpet on the stairs beneath him; his mouth sloppy with the heady mixture of his saliva with the pre cum leaking from Aaron’s slit, sound of pure filth as he opened his lips wider to take him down further.

He needed to push Aaron over the edge, knew precisely what would do it, pulling his hand away from Aaron’s chest and looking up at Aaron as he moved his fingers up and over Aaron’s collarbone, placing them against his lips, watching Aaron’s expression darken as he realised his intentions, locking their gaze together as Aaron parted his lips and Robert pushed his fingers inside, Aaron’s tongue circling them seductively, Robert’s breath caught short as he watched on, mouth still full of Aaron’s pulsing cock as he slicked his fingers over, movements stilling at the sight of it, his breath hitching in his throat.

He pulled his fingers away reluctantly, bringing them down to where he needed them, picking up his pace again with his other hand around Aaron’s cock, head bobbing again as he felt Aaron’s finger tips carding through his hair and he opened his legs further for him, shuffling forwards onto the edge of the step, fully aware of Robert’s intentions.

Robert didn’t hesitate, lining his spit-slicked fingers up against Aaron’s hole, parting his cheeks as he pushed a digit forwards, teasing at the rim of Aaron’s muscle as he continued with the rhythm of his mouth and his other hand on Aaron’s cock.

He was whining with it, pushing himself down against Robert’s finger; begging; pleading; delirious with it.

“I’m so close,” he breathed out between moans, chest heaving, control lost beyond recapture.

Robert pushed his digit forwards, breaching past the muscle at his rim, Aaron lifting himself up off the step to allow Robert to sink into him, pulsing back and forth, Aaron feeling weightless; messy; fucked out as he grabbed the hair at the back of Robert’s head.

“’m gonna –” he urged out, words caught in his throat as Robert made one final push inside at the same time as he whipped his hand away from his cock and took Aaron deeper into his mouth; root to tip, and he felt it pulsating through him with vigour.

The noise escaping Aaron’s mouth may have been enough for Robert to come untouched; pulsing his single digit back and forth into Aaron’s heat as the effects of his orgasm rippled inside Robert’s mouth; the taste of salt and sex overpowering as he drank it in; the thrumming of his pulsating cock sending him weak at his knees as he pulled it from his mouth; slurping and messy and fucked out and beautiful.

“Fuck, Robert,” Aaron exhaled as he came down from it; head resting uncomfortably against the stairs behind him but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, sure he was going to have carpet burn on his arse as it rested on the edge of the third step up.

Robert lingered between his legs, looking up at Aaron through his lashes as he brought his hands up, palms on Aaron’s stomach, smoothing over his taut torso, fingertips rippling through the muscles heaving up and down as Aaron tried to catch his breath; Robert swallowing down his load and licking his lips afterwards.

He’d tasted just as good as Robert had imagined.

Better, even.

Aaron watched on, holding Robert’s gaze as Robert placed peppered kisses along Aaron’s stomach, working his way up Aaron’s body, grazing over his chest, nipples moistened slightly by his lips as he grazed up over them, his hands bunching Aaron’s t-shirt up above where his nose tickled against his chest.

Aaron needed his lips, reaching down to pull at Robert’s shoulder, his boss taking his gist straight away and moving his attention up from Aaron’s chest, crawling up between Aaron’s legs on the stair case, hands leaning against the edge of the staircase above Aaron’s head as he looked down at him.

“You wanna take this upstairs, then?” Aaron murmured, lips so close to Robert’s that he could feel his breath on his lips; could taste his unmistakeable scent with the proximity of him.

Robert made a noise that could only signal his agreement, before he leant in and kissed against Aaron’s lips; Aaron pressing back against him with need, sliding his tongue against Robert’s lips until he parted them and let Aaron’s tongue slide inside, in this way that was becoming so familiar to the both of them by now.

Aaron could still taste himself on the inside of Robert’s mouth, the sensation of it sparking something inside of him that made him deepen the kiss further, grabbing at the shoulders of Robert’s jacket and pulling him closer; seeping with desperation and need for the man who’d just blown his world apart and awoken something inside of him that had lain dormant for years.

The sound of Robert’s desperation for him reverberated against him – low, hungry groans escaping his lips in between their kisses, and it made Aaron’s heart beat faster in a way the he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for.

He pulled away – reluctantly – but all too well aware that he needed more of Robert; that he wasn’t ready to let this end on the staircase of his house, that he needed to drag this man upstairs to his bed and to watch him come apart for him, spread out over his bedsheets, wanton and fucked and desperate for everything that Aaron wanted to give to him.

“Upstairs,” Aaron purred against his lips, watching Robert’s face as he noticed his boss’s eyes were still closed; still savouring the sensation of Aaron’s kiss.

“Deal,” Robert whispered back, opening his eyes and meeting Aaron’s gaze then, a promise in his eyes that made Aaron swallow down hard, before he pulled himself away and stood up at the bottom of the staircase.

Aaron saw the way Robert’s eyes traced over him; purposefully paused before he sorted himself to allow Robert to take in this sight of him, spent after Robert’s expert touch,  dick lying flaccid against his stomach, skin red from Robert’s hungry kisses along his chest and abdomen; expression fucked out despite his recovery.

“Fuck, you look so good,” Robert let out, and Aaron felt the sincerity of it rip through him, having to look away as he found himself unable to hold his gaze with those grey-blue eyes any longer.

Aaron shuffled on the stairs, taking Robert’s hand to help him stand up, pulling his trousers and boxers back up and over his arse as his t-shirt fell down.

“I don’t know why you’re bothering,” Robert teased as he moved in closer, snaking him arms around Aaron’s waist as he dipped in and stole a chaste kiss. “I’m just gonna take them off you again.”

Aaron laughed, and moved in for another kiss.

“Come on then,” he quipped back, challenging him with a flick of his eyebrows before Robert pulled away and took the stairs two at a time, leaving Aaron stood at the bottom.

Aaron laughed as he looked up at him, grabbing the banister as he made his way to follow him up, until the pair of them froze with the sound of voices outside the front door.

Adam’s unmistakeable laugh became clear almost immediately, and a panic flooded over the both of them as they realised how close they’d come to getting caught.

“That one, quick,” Aaron gestured, keeping his voice low, pointing Robert in the direction of his bedroom at the top of the stairs just as the sound of Adam’s key went into the lock.

Robert moved quicker than he thought he ever had done before in his life, swiftly hiding himself away in Aaron’s bedroom, too panicked to take in anything around him other than the sound of Adam’s voice in the hallway below him.

“Oh, hiya mate,” Adam greeted Aaron as soon as he walked through the door, his expression questioning; clear that he was a little confused as to why Aaron would be hanging around in their hallway. “You alright?”

Aaron laughed, shrugging it off.

“Yeah mate, I’m fine, why?” he replied, unable to look Adam in the eye.

“You look a bit flushed, pal,” Adam teased, going in with his left hand to punch Aaron in the stomach playfully; Aaron recoiling away from him on instinct at his best mates usual greeting.

“Just, been working out,” Aaron lied, fully aware that Adam would be able to count on one hand the amount of times he’d seen Aaron in the gym that Adam had built in their garage.

“Anyway,” Adam swerved the topic, smiling as he beckoned someone through the door. “I want you meet Vic,” he smiled.

Aaron smiled back, a voice in the back of his mind reminding him that Robert was locked in his bedroom at the top of the staircase, probably listening to every single word of their exchange.

“Hiya,” Aaron welcomed her wide-eyed, raising his eyebrows as he awkwardly held out his hand for her to shake.

She tutted and batted his hand away, pulling him in for a friendly hug instead.

“Nice to meet you,” she beamed with a bright smile as she pulled out of the hug. “Do you know that this one literally does _not stop_ talking about you?” she asked warmly, shaking her head with affection as she pointed towards Adam.

Aaron smiled at them, sure they were too busy looking at each other for either of them to notice the way that he glanced back up the staircase to his closed bedroom door.

“Where’s the dogs?” Aaron asked, sure Adam had said they were out walking them.

“Oh, it was too muddy so we just went for a coffee instead,” Vic explained breezily. “And then Adam told me you had a pool table to so I challenged him to a duel.”

“Told her to prepare herself for my mad pool skills,” Adam chipped in, looking please with himself.

“Yeah right,” Aaron laughed. “The only thing you need to prepare for Vic is the sight of his sad face when you beat him. He’s rubbish at – ”

“Hey! Shut it, mate,” Adam warned him, put out that his best mate was embarrassing him in front of Vic. “You gonna come play with us?”

“Yeah, come join in,” Vic smiled.

Aaron shook his head, glancing once again up to his bedroom door.

“Nah, no,” he turned them down, his voice cracking with the unease. “I should go and shower,” he explained, wafting his t-shirt back and forth as if he needed them to believe he was sweating from his gym work out and nothing more. “Three’s a crowd, anyway, right?!”

Vic laughed, and Adam swotted him with the back of his hand.

“Whatever, muppet,” he teased gently, before gesturing for Vic to walk through into their living room area and around to the pool table.

Aaron could hear him turning on the charm with her in the next room, and only after he’d poked his head around to make sure they were suitably distracted did he pace up the stairs and let himself into his bedroom.

“Adam’s dating my fucking sister!”

Oh, yeah.

Aaron had forgotten that Robert wouldn’t be happy about that.

He laughed, but it didn’t seem to be the response Robert was looking for.

“How long has this been going on?” Robert seethed, pacing back and forth at the foot of Aaron’s bed, his voice filled with rage despite him spitting out the words in a whisper so as not to be overheard. “How long have you known?”

“Alright, calm down,” Aaron placated back at him, frowning at what he judged to be a complete overreaction by Robert. “It’s only their second date.”

Robert stopped pacing, standing still with his hands on his hips, shaking his head with frustration.

“She’s got no idea what she’s doing,” he huffed out. “Footballers are bad news.”

“Erm, what?” Aaron scoffed back at him, put out at his generalisation.

It didn’t seem to be stopping Robert, after all.

“Not you, obviously. You know what I mean,” Robert answered vaguely.

“Pretty sure I don’t,” Aaron snarked back at him. “Adam’s a good guy.”

“Yeah they all are until something catches their eye,” Robert snapped back.

“What like I caught your eye, you mean?” he quipped back defensively.

How Robert Sugden had the right to insult his best mate when he was stood in his bedroom with a fiancée back at home waiting for him, he had no idea.

Aaron could tell Robert wasn’t happy at Aaron calling him out on his hypocrisy, but he ignored it as best he could.

“She can’t know that I know, you’ll have to tell him to finish it with her.”

Aaron couldn’t believe the audacity of it.

As if he would go telling Adam to break up with a girl he really liked for no good reason.

And when was the last time Aaron took orders from anyone else, anyway?

“No chance,” Aaron refused his orders. “He really likes her, and she seems pretty into him.”

Robert sighed, exhaling sharply as he continued to pace around the room. He had always been so protective over his sister, and he’d seen enough infidelity and pain caused on the part of footballers over the years to want to protect her away from any of that.

He didn’t know Adam Barton well enough to know if he was good enough for his sister, but his instincts let him assume that he wouldn’t be; like he assumed they always would do, regardless of her suitor.

He refused to acknowledge Aaron’s reminder of his hypocrisy, too.

“She deserves better,” Robert muttered under his breath as he turned away from Aaron.

Aaron gritted his teeth.

“Go and tell her then,” he muttered under his breath.

“What?” Robert questioned, fully aware of exactly what Aaron had said.

“I said go and tell her,” he snapped back in response. “If Adam’s so bad for her, go down there and tell her to stay away,” he paused as he called Robert’s bluff, before continuing to give him a reality check. “Wait, oh yeah, you can’t, can you, because she can’t find out you’re only here ‘cause you’re sleeping with me behind your fiancée’s back.”

Robert wanted to snap back, but he couldn’t find the words for it, assuming it was the fact that Aaron was completely right that rendered him lost for words.

He shifted on his feet for a few moments as Aaron sat himself down on the side of the bed.

“I need to leave,” Robert announced.

Aaron nodded, realising he’d been seconds away from telling Robert where to go anyway.

“They’re in the living room, you’ll be able to sneak out,” Aaron assured him.

“Good,” Robert nodded, gesturing for Aaron to go first as he opened the door to his bedroom.

Aaron shook his head in frustration, before standing up and making his way downstairs, aware of Robert’s gentle footsteps following him as he reached the bottom and gestured back for Robert to wait on the bottom step to allow Aaron to check that Vic and Adam were still out of sight.

He peered into the living room, saw Vic sat up on the pool able, legs swinging side to side as Adam stood in front of her making some remark that was making her laugh.

They were oblivious.

Aaron slowly opened the front door, turning the lock silently and gesturing for Robert to dart past the living room to make his way outside undetected.

Aaron was about to shut the door after him, when Robert backtracked, hand stopping the door from closing.

“Oi,” Robert whispered.

Aaron panicked, until he saw the smirk on Robert’s face.

Robert stepped forwards, grabbing at the material of Aaron’s t-shirt on his chest and pulling Aaron closer to him, pushing a goodbye kiss against his pliant lips; an apology for the way he’d spoken to him about Vic.

He didn’t want anything ruining the memory of the blow job he’d gifted Aaron on that staircase.

“See you tomorrow,” Robert whispered as he pulled away, leaving Aaron speechless in the doorway as he watched Robert retreat back up their driveway to where he’d hidden his car up on the main road.

Aaron shut the door as gently as he could so as not to be heard, and turned around to lean back up against the doorframe. He brought a hand up to his lips, tingling still with the feel of Robert against them, and let his eyes cast down to look at the scuffed carpet on the third step of their staircase.

He laughed to himself; biting down on his bottom lip.

Robert bloody Sugden.

 

-s-

 

He’d wanted to text Robert all night, but forced himself to try and wait until morning.

He was all too well aware that he’d begged a little too often under Robert’s touch on his staircase earlier that day; he needed to try and save a little face.

It was just gone 11 pm when Robert saved him the embarrassment, Aaron lying in bed thinking about Robert’s tongue tracing down the side of his cock as his phone vibrated on the bed next to him.

**_Robert:_ ** _You up?_

The smile covering his face was completely involuntary.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Yeah, you?_

Aaron cringed as soon as he sent it, realising what he’d done.

Robert saved his embarrassment with his reply.

**_Robert_ ** _: In more ways than one, yes._

Aaron swallowed down, realising his meaning straight away.

**_Robert:_ ** _Are you alone?_

God, Aaron was so ready for this.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Yeah, course I am_

Who exactly did Robert think he would be with?

**_Robert:_ ** _Touch yourself_

**_Robert_ ** _: Think of me_

**_Aaron_ ** _: I already am Robert_

It was the truth – he had been halfway towards his boxers when his phone had first gone off, and he was currently trying to perfect the left handed wank as he typed with his right hand.

It was surprisingly difficult, but he’d persevere.

**_Robert_ ** _: Tell me how it feels_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Feels better when you do it_

He wasn’t lying. Robert’s hands might have been the most skilled he could remember having.

**_Robert_ ** _: Yeah?_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Yeah_

**_Robert_ ** _: Wish I was there to do it for you then_

It was like Robert was reading Aaron’s mind.

**_Aaron_ ** _: Me too_

He worked his cock slowly to begin with, the thought of Robert doing the same making his breath hitch in his throat; making him want to work himself faster and harder; desperate for that release yet again.

**_Robert_ ** _: Wish I was there to do more_

God, if Aaron wasn’t begging for the same.

**_Aaron_ ** _: Yeh_

It was all he could manage to type, his fingers struggling to find the letters now; his body shaking with the vigour his left wrist inflicted on himself, jerking at an unfamiliar angle with his non-dominant hand.

**_Robert_ ** _: You felt amazing today_

**_Robert_ ** _: You tasted so good, Aaron_

**_Robert_ ** _: I can still taste you on me_

Robert knew what he was doing, and it was working, Aaron getting more and more breathless with each new message appearing on his screen from Robert.

**_Robert_ ** _: Can still see feel your cum hitting the back of my throat_

Aaron could still feel the wet heat of Robert’s mouth as he came inside it.

**_Robert_ ** _: Can still hear you screaming my name_

**_Robert_ ** _: You still there?_

He’d almost lost the ability to function, vision blurring through it, but he needed Robert to continue; needed him to finish him off and not for the first time that day.

**_Aaron_ ** _: close_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Keep going_

He was almost there, almost about to push himself over the edge, Robert’s words working as the memories of the way he felt against him earlier spun through his mind.

**_Robert_ ** _: Come for me Aaron_

**_Robert_ ** _: Say my name as you do it_

**_Robert_ ** _: Imagine it’s my hands on you_

**_Robert_ ** _: Imagine you’re fucking my mouth again_

“Please,” Aaron said out loud, hands incapable now of texting back as he felt dizzy with the rush of blood to his dick, his hands frantic as he tugged at himself, picturing Robert kneeling above him; picturing his naked body leaning down over him as he edged closer; closer; closer.

**_Robert_ ** _: Next time you take control_

**_Robert_ ** _: Next time you can fuck me_

**_Robert_ ** _: Next time I wanna feel that thick cock of yours inside me_

And that was it; gone.

He cried out, sure Adam would be able to hear him but he was beyond caring; the thought of burying himself deep within Robert too much; too much for him to be able to hold back; and he gave in to it, let the feeling rip the air from his lungs.

He came in waves, covers pulled back as the white hot heat rippled from him, pulsing in waves over his stomach as he flung his head back into his pillows, laughing as his chest heaved with his breathlessness; as his body recomposed itself; as the thought of Robert Sugden plagued his mind.

He took a moment to compose himself; to allow himself to take in enough air to restore the oxygen levels in his blood.

He reached for his phone – cast aside and nestled amongst his duvet to his left in the midst of his pleasure – and saw three more texts from Robert waiting.

**_Robert:_ ** _Gonna get you between my legs_

**_Robert:_ ** _And ride you_

**_Robert:_ ** _So hard you make me come all over you_

He smirked, bringing up his other hand to let him text a little easier.

**_Aaron_ ** _: Fucking hell Robert_

**_Aaron_ ** _: That felt amazing_

He wasn’t exaggerating – it had been a long time since he’d felt level of ecstasy from his own hand.

**_Robert_ ** _: Did you come?_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Yes. I’m a mess_

He laughed as he wrote it; heady with the after effects of it.

**_Robert_ ** _: Can I see?_

**_Robert_ ** _: I wanna see you fucked out again. You looked so good earlier._

The question threw him; half of him daring to think that maybe Robert was suggesting he come over; the thought of that causing a wave of excitement to thrum through him.

**_Robert_ ** _: Send me a picture_

Aaron’s hopes were dashed, realising Robert’s intentions.

And a hint of unease encroached.

He’d never sent anyone _those_ kinds of pictures before.

It wasn’t like he hated the idea of it – well aware of how turned on he’d be if Robert were to send one in return – but it wasn’t something he’d ever done before, and it wasn’t like he was into the idea of taking pictures of himself anyway.

He’d never even sent anyone a selfie, he didn’t think.

And what exactly would he take a picture of anyway?

His face?

His now-limp dick resting between his legs?

His cum-drenched stomach?

**_Aaron_ ** _: Seriously?_

He had to ask, before he let himself get too caught up on it.

**_Robert_ ** _: Yes_

Aaron paused; tempted.

He wondered if he should ask Robert what he wanted to see.

And there was no way it was going to be one way traffic.

**_Aaron_ ** _: Do I get one back?_

That would be his deal-breaker, he realised.

He was smiling to himself, getting carried away with the thought of it, when Robert’s next text wiped the smile off in an instant.

**_Robert_ ** _: I can’t. Chrissie’s here._

What??

**_Aaron_ ** _: What??_

It was the only response he could muster.

**_Robert_ ** _: She’s asleep, don’t worry_

Was he actually serious?

He’d done all of that with his fiancée asleep next to him?

**_Aaron_ ** _: Fucking hell Robert_

He shuffled up on the bed, grabbing a tissue off his bedside cabinet and cleaning up his stomach; shaking his head in disbelief that Robert had just brought him back down to earth with a bang.

There was no way Robert was getting a picture of that now.

He couldn’t believe Robert had sent all those messages with Chrissie asleep beside him.

He wanted to let Robert know the disgust he felt that he could be so cold and callous to someone he was supposed to love; that he could lie in bed next to her and be sending him the kind of messages he was doing, begging for Aaron to _do that_ to him; pleading with him for pictures, all the while she was lying next to him, sleeping peacefully, none the wiser.

**_Robert_ ** _: Picture?_

Aaron leant over and flicked his bedside light off, plugging in his phone charger as he settled down to sleep; weight of disappointment and regret lying heavy in his heart.

**_Aaron_ ** _: No fucking way_

His refusal was as succinct as it needed to be.

**_Robert_ ** _: I’ll make sure I thank you for it next time I get you on your own._

He still wasn’t getting it; he had to make himself clearer.

**_Aaron_ ** _: Go back to your wife Robert_

He couldn’t pretend to be ok with it. Yes, he knew what he was letting himself in for; and yes, he needed to accept that Robert wasn’t and never would be _his_ ; and yes, there was always going to be Chrissie.

He knew all of that.

And he’d realised that for however long it took to get Robert Sugden out of his system, he was just going to have to deal with it.

But it didn’t mean he could lie here and entertain Robert, knowing his fiancé was sleeping next to him in their bed.

**_Robert_ ** _: Aaron, don’t be like this_

**_Robert_ ** _: And she’s not my wife_

There was a pause, Robert clearly waiting for something back from Aaron, as Aaron glared back at his screen, fighting his temptation to give in to him and almost losing.

He couldn’t give in so easily.

**_Robert_ ** _: Aaron?_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Go to sleep, Robert_

His response was delayed, Aaron assuming it came tinged with disappointment that Aaron had turned on him.

**_Robert_ ** _: Are we really gonna leave it like this?_

Aaron clenched his jaw.

He didn’t _want_ to leave it like this – not after the way Robert had made him crumble apart at the seams on two occasions that day – but he wasn’t going to let their tryst continue over the airways knowing what he knew now.

He wasn’t going to stay mad at him, though.

He couldn’t bring himself to do that anymore.

**_Aaron_ ** _: I’m going to sleep Robert. I’ll see you tomorrow._

**_Aaron_ ** _: You can try me for that picture then._

**_Robert_ ** _: Okay, Aaron._

**_Robert_ ** _: See you tomorrow, then._

**_Robert_ ** _: Night xx_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Night Robert._

**_Aaron_ ** _: X_

Aaron locked his phone, placing it down on the bedside cabinet, and rolled over to sleep.

Not coincidentally, it was the best sleep he’d had in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please come and say hello on tumblr - wellyfullofale. Will spend hours talking fic, plot, Robron, biscuits...


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe this fic is now a reality? Because I can’t! And based on yesterday’s antics I needed to write something for you all – not as long a chapter as usual but I had to get some of the moments from the game into the story, so this is just a shameless attempt to do that!  
> Thanks to everyone who’s been in touch with me to fangirl over the uncanny resemblance of real life to fiction ;) I love you all! And thanks as ever for your amazing feedback on the last chapter.  
> Enjoy ;)

**Chapter 12**

Robert checked his phone first thing.

_Just in case._

Just in case Aaron had woken up in the night and caved in to Robert’s request from the night before, to give him the best kind of morning wake-up call he could hope for.

Needless to say, he hadn’t.

Robert flicked back up through his message thread with Aaron from the night before, fully intending to immediately delete all of the messages through fear of them being discovered by the soon-to-be-wife who still lay sleeping soundly next to him, but he stopped himself as he read back through the conversation.

He felt something rousing within him as his eyes travelled over the explicit words that had poured out of him, at the things Aaron had said back to him – how much he’d wanted Robert’s hands; how he’d been a mess in the aftermath – and god damn, if Robert didn’t have a burning need to see that with his own eyes again.

Something churned inside of him.

He was smiling without having realised; Chrissie stirring next to him and looking up at him through bleary eyes.

He threw his phone down onto the bedside table and gave her his attention.

“You don’t usually smile in the mornings,” she muttered blearily; barely audible as she nestled into his side.

Robert felt a pang of guilt inside of him.

It was unfamiliar; alien to him.

He’d done one night stands before since he’d been with Chrissie – with men, and with women – but he’d never let it trickle over to the second – or third – time with the same person since he’d been with her. In fact, as far as men were concerned, there was only one that he’d ever slept with more than once in his entire life.

Before Aaron, of course.

Maybe that was why he was feeling a little guiltier than usual.

He was always going to find other people attractive, and he consoled himself in the mindset that sometimes he just had to act on it – had to get that _lust_ and _desire_ out of his system if he met someone who he took a liking to – but that Chrissie was the only one he wanted to commit to for his life.

And he promised himself that once he was married, he wouldn’t cheat on her.

So, if anything, it was useful that Aaron had come into his life when he had done – when he had these few months to be able to work it out of his system, and enjoy his last few months of weakness before he committed to Chrissie for the rest of his life.

She had so much to give him, after all – the lifestyle, the job, the money, the status.

He wasn’t going to find anyone else who could provide all of that for him elsewhere.

And it was why he’d tried to behave himself for so long – why it had been over six months since he’d strayed by the time he met Aaron.

He’d tried to convince himself in that time that maybe he’d never do it again.

And then those blue eyes and that fire behind them had caught his eye, and he’d had to have his fill.

And he’d had to make an exception too – had to go back for more. Once with Aaron would never have been enough. Three times still wasn’t, and he ignored the voice in the back of his mind which told him three times wasn’t even close to quenching the insatiable thirst he had for Aaron.

He wouldn’t let himself entertain the thought that this unfamiliar guilt he was feeling in the pit of his stomach was a result of Chrissie being in his bed when all he could think of was Aaron.

That was the wrong way around – he reminded himself – and shook off any suggestion that it was anything other than a drip of confusion.

He was marrying Chrissie, after all.

The beautiful woman lying next to him would be his wife in a few short months, and after that, there would be no more one night stands; no more Aaron.

No more Aaron.

He wouldn’t let himself believe that it was dread piling up inside of him at that prospect.

He just would not let himself believe that, at all.

 

-s-

 

It was Friday afternoon, and Robert was stood in this spot outside the coach by the training ground again, waiting to welcome the players as they arrived for the journey.

They were playing away the next day – and it was a midday kick off against the relegation-afflicted team on the South Coast – so they had a gruelling five hour journey ahead of them and a hotel booked for the night before the game.

Robert had tried to keep his mind focused on the game – tried to appear interested in the conversation he’d been having with Bob all afternoon about their tactics for the game, and taking on the diamond formation for the match in order to maximise possession in the midfield and drive forwards down the wing at every given opportunity, feeding in to Aaron front and centre – he’d _really_ tried to focus on it, and he was pretty sure he had Bob convinced.

It was just that every time Bob had mentioned his name, something had fluttered inside of Robert, and it wasn’t a feeling he could say he was all that familiar with.

Now he found himself stood outside the team coach, breaking into a smile that he tried to conceal by staring at the ground when he saw Adam Barton’s Range Rover pull up onto the carpark with Aaron in the passenger seat.

He was sure he saw Aaron smile back when he caught his eye. Even through the tinted windows.

He waited as they got out of the car – counting Pete and Joe and Dan onto the coach in the time it took Aaron and Adam to park up and walk over – and he had no idea why he was suddenly shifting on his feet with the wave of nerves that flowed through him.

This was wholly unfamiliar territory for Robert.

He didn’t know what was going on with him lately, but he felt like his emotions were all over the place, and his deep-seated tendency towards denial refused to let him connect those moments of uncharacteristic fragility to the times when Aaron was close by.

“Afternoon, gaffer,” Adam grinned as he approached the door to the coach. “Beautiful afternoon to be sat on a coach for five hours, eh?”

He was lying – it was grey and overcast – although Robert could agree that even then he’d rather be stood out in the cold than on a coach journey for that long.

“Alright, boss,” Aaron smirked at him after Adam had hauled himself up the stairs and onto the bus.

He coupled it with such a wanton look in his eye that Robert’s whole body sparked into life.

There was something about Aaron calling him his boss that made him weak, and he realised he never wanted him to stop.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat; words sticking to the back of it as he tried to come up with something clever and witty to say by reply, but found himself helpless in the way that Aaron was looking at him with such promise.

He wondered if it had occurred to Aaron that they’d be staying in a hotel together that evening, too.

Aaron seemed to hesitate – maybe waiting for the witty reply that Robert couldn’t find – before he went to climb onto the coach.

He found himself being pulled back by Robert’s arm on his bicep, and he sunk back to rest up against the side of the coach.

Robert smiled at him, unsure whether he should be saying what he was about to say.

The engine of the coach was chugging away – smell of diesel thick in the air – and with the players like overgrown school boys always deciding to fill up from the back of the coach first, he knew they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Come to my room tonight,” Robert whispered, offering Aaron a smirk as he licked his lips with it.

He felt a wave of excitement even at the prospect of it; despite knowing what Aaron’s response would be, seeing as he’d be sharing a room with Adam, and that there would be no time for him to get away from his best mate with their schedule packed for the evening right up until lights out.

“You know I can’t,” Aaron smirked back, looking to the ground as he kicked the stones around.

“I want to have you in an actual bed, for once.”

“You mean one you fiancée isn’t sleeping in?”

Touché.

Robert looked to the ground, smirk wiped from his face.

“OK, I deserved that,” Robert conceded; that guilt panging deep within him again.

He pushed it away.

“I can’t believe you did that, Robert,” Aaron uttered, exasperated, shaking his head with it. “What if she’d woken up, or something?”

Robert shrugged his shoulders despite the wave of panic that flowed through him at the thought of it.

“Half the fun, isn’t it?” he lied, but Aaron could see through it – could tell he knew how wrong it was deep down.

He sighed, and Robert saw it all in his expression.

“Don’t give me that,” he added.

Robert looked to the ground, realising that Aaron had his card marked already.

“You know how it is,” Robert let out, bringing his eyes up to level with Aaron’s.

Now it was the brunet’s turn to let his eyes travel to the floor.

“Yeah,” he muttered, shrugging to feign nonchalance, despite the look in his eyes giving him away completely.

Robert wasn’t oblivious to that look in his eye.

“If it makes you happier, I won’t do it again,” he offered by way of apology.

Aaron looked up at him through his lashes.

“With her there, I mean,” he added, with a smirk. “I’ll definitely be making a mess of you like that again, don’t worry.”

Aaron licked his lips to try to disguise the smile that he couldn’t suppress.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he muttered under his breath, memories of the way Robert had made him fall apart at the seams without even being present spinning through the back of his mind.

“Good,” Robert smirked. “Tonight?” he added with a raised eyebrow.

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh.

“Robert, stop!” he breathed out lightly. “You know I need kip tonight, and I’ll be in a room with Adam anyway,” Aaron reminded him.

Robert made a mental note to speak to Lawrence about upping their budget for away matches to allow them to stretch to single rooms for the team.

Because; _reasons._

“I’ll settle for that picture then,” he teased.

“Yeah, which I definitely _won’t_ be taking with Adam in the room,” Aaron replied back with a shake of his head.

Robert rolled his eyes and nodded, realising he may have a point.

He glanced up at Aaron and caught his gaze once more.

“We’re good, though, yeah?” he asked, and there was a sincerity burning through his tone that Aaron almost didn’t recognise.

He nodded.

“Yeah,” he replied, matching that sincerity drop for drop. “We’re good.”

“Good,” Robert nodded.

“Good,” Aaron replied, and huffed out a little laugh as he turned to climb the steps onto the coach.

He climbed on board the coach with half a smile on his face, and made his way over to Adam sat halfway down.

“What’s he having words with you for?” Adam asked when Aaron finally slumped into the seat next to him.

Aaron shrugged, getting his headphones out of his kit bag and throwing them around his neck as he shoved his bag beneath his seat.

“Just…talking tactics,” Aaron lied, unconvincingly.

“Oh yeah?” Adam questioned, frowning, trying to read his best mates expression and worrying about the conclusions he was afraid to draw from the way he’d been acting lately.

“Yeah,” Aaron muttered, bringing his headphones up to his ears and drowning out the sound of the world around him.

 

-s-

 

Five hours was a long time.

Aaron knew it was a long time; but it was still a _really long fucking time_.

It was especially a long time to be sat on a group of footballers mouthing off to one another in the name of ‘banter’, when all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and to try and get his head around whatever was going on with his feelings for Robert Sugden.

Wait.

He didn’t mean _feelings,_ like that.

He just meant...the way he felt about him.

Which was different.

Wasn’t it?

 

-s-

 

They’d been all eyes-meeting-from-across-the-room all evening – loaded eye contact over the team dinner that evening; stolen glances during the talk after dinner for Robert and Bob to discuss tactics for the game the next day – and by the time it reached 10pm Aaron was sure he’d spent so long looking over in Robert’s direction that he’d have been able to draw his face from memory; freckles and all.

He couldn’t get over how attractive Robert was sometimes.

And that someone like him would look twice at someone like Aaron.

But he did – and he looked more than twice, in fact.

Robert had watched Aaron leave the room – smirk and a seductive tongue trailing along his bottom lip as Aaron had watched on, shaking his head in disbelief at how obvious Robert was being.

Still, it wasn’t like anyone was going to suspect anything.

His phone pinged as soon as he’d left the conference room, and he knew without checking who it would be.

Sure enough, when he was back in the twin room he was sharing with Adam – and away from his best mate’s prying eyes – he pulled his phone from his pocket and unlocked it.

**_Robert:_ ** _Sure I can’t tempt you?_

Aaron smirked as he launched himself upon his bed, sitting upright above the covers and propping up the pillows behind him.

He was damn well sure Robert _could_ tempt him, actually – but he had just spent an hour being told how he was going to be playing on his own upfront the next day and that the expectation was that he’d be scoring at least three goals, if you listened to the bookies, so he wasn’t going to put himself in a position where he was needing to do that after not getting any sleep all night.

Because he knew that was how it would go.

He had no doubt they’d be doing anything but sleep.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Not if you want a result tomorrow_

He replied.

He wasn’t playing hard to get – he was well aware that the pressure was on him to play and to score in front of the 40,000 fans and the millions watching on Sky Sports the next day – and he’d made the mistake of staying up late the night before a game too many times before to know he didn’t want to do it again.

**_Robert:_ ** _I was hoping for a result tonight_

Aaron smirked.

Shouldn’t Robert have been the one encouraging him to be well rested for the game?

**_Aaron:_ ** _You’re supposed to be my boss you saying you wanna lose the game?_

**_Robert:_ ** _You saying you’re defying the boss’s orders?_

Robert was really trying to make this hard for him.

In more ways than one.

**_Aaron:_ ** _I’m saying I’ve got a match to win and you can wait!_

He laughed as he typed it out, Adam giving him the side-eye suspiciously from across the room, but not asking for details – Aaron was sure he’d bought the story he’d fed him the other night about the guy he’d been trying to make jealous in the bar they’d gone to, and he knew better than to ask questions about the rare occasions someone could make his best mate smile at a text message like that.

“Gonna grab a shower,” Adam declared as he stood and made his way towards the bathroom.

Aaron looked at him and nodded, before checking his phone for a reply.

Nothing yet.

He exhaled, and turned on the TV to flick through the channels, finding Sky Sports News and settling in to catch a few of the pre-match headlines.

He checked his phone again. Still nothing.

Maybe Robert had given up and gone to sleep.

It flicked past 10.30pm, and the half-hourly headline updates rolled around – their game one of the headlines seeing as a win would take Dales United three points clear at the top of the table.

There was a clip of Robert playing on the screen whilst the news anchors discussed their chances in the game tomorrow and the likely starting line-up, and Aaron simpered at the sight of the man on his TV screen.

It was a replay of his pitch side interview after their game in the week – Robert in one of the club’s sky blue training jackets with a casual white t-shirt underneath, his hair styled up in his usual way and those blue-green eyes staring warmly back at the interviewer behind the camera.

He looked so good.

Aaron couldn’t even try to deny it – Robert Sugden was a beautiful creature; faced carved by the gods – but he’d not be caught dead letting Robert hear him admit to that.

Aaron had the sound turned down – couldn’t hear what Robert was saying – but he watched the way his lips moved; remembering the way they had felt as they’d kissed against his own lips and down the trail of his inner thighs on his staircase the day before.

He wanted those lips again.

The best was yet to come though – Aaron watching on as Robert’s tongue darted out momentarily from between his smirking lips; disappearing just as quickly as it had appeared – and Aaron groaned out involuntarily at the sight of it.

He grabbed for the remote – hoping the hotel TV had a rewind live TV option – and he found himself replaying those same three seconds back and forth on a loop.

He knew where that tongue had been.

He knew what that tongue was capable of doing to him; knew what he would let Robert do to him just to feel the sensation of that tongue along his skin again; where he needed it most; where his body ached to feel that wet sensation all over again.

His chest was heaving with the sight of it, his heart beat racing slightly, and he grabbed at his phone again to check for Robert’s reply; more than half tempted to just get up and make his way to batter his hotel room door down.

The knock on the door jolted him out of his stupor.

He grabbed the remote and pressed stop, the TV refreshing back to live time and picture quality suffering from the lack of Robert’s face on it.

The knock came again, and he jumped up off the bed to answer it.

The frown on his face morphed into wide-eyed excitement at the sight of Robert the other side of the door.

“Hi,” he announced loudly, glancing behind Aaron, clearly expecting to see Adam behind him in their room.

“He’s in the shower,” Aaron whispered back, flicking his head to the bathroom at his side where they could hear the water running. “He’s been in there ages though,” he added, as if he needed Robert to know he needed to hurry up.

Robert took a quick glance left then right down the hotel corridor, before catching Aaron’s gaze and smirking.

He couldn’t ignore the look in Aaron’s eyes – sure he’d seen it a couple of times before when he’d been about to do what he’d come here to do – and it reeked of desire and lust as his pupils dilated and his eyelids softened as he looked up at him.

He was powerless to resist that look.

“Good,” he whispered as he urged forwards, hands reaching for the sides of Aaron’s face as he pulled him closer; lips connecting in that way that made all of Aaron’s resolve weaken in an instant.

They were stood in the doorway of the hotel room – far enough inside the room that they couldn’t be seen down the corridor – and Robert walked Aaron backwards as their lips pressed against one another until Robert could hook a leg behind him and push the door closed.

Aaron grabbed at his forearms, pulling at him to bring his body closer to him, losing himself to Robert’s kiss against his pliant lips; forgetting his best mate the other side of the wall.

Robert turned him to the side, pushing him up against the wall separating the room from the bathroom, Aaron hitting the wall with some force and cringing at the sound it made, aware of Adam showering the other side of the paper-thin partition.

“Shhhhhh,” Aaron tried to warn Robert, but he was silenced by Robert’s lips against his own, giving in to him willingly as he felt Robert’s tongue – that tongue he’d been getting worked up over only moments before – swiping along his bottom lip.

He tilted to the left and opened up, letting his own tongue push up against Robert’s, delicious taste of chocolate and salted caramel still lingering on his tongue from their dessert earlier and it was sending Aaron’s heart beat racing; the saltiness making Aaron fantasise about how sweet Robert’s sweat-drenched skin would taste after he’d laid him bare and fucked him stupid.

“I want you so much,” Robert whispered into his mouth between kisses, letting his hand slide down from where it held Aaron’s face and palming over the ripples of his chest and his torso underneath the black t-shirt Aaron wore.

Aaron smiled into the kiss as Robert returned his lips to him, growling under his breath as he felt Robert’s hand reach the waistband of his grey jogging bottoms; fingertips tracing under the elastic, palm flat against the smooth skin of his taut stomach.

Aaron whimpered as Robert pushed his hands lower, grazing the root of his dick as he manoeuvred to wrap his lean fingers around him.

They both jolted at the sound of the water shutting off in the bathroom; lips pulling apart on instinct.

Aaron looked at Robert’s lips, noticing the way his stubble had left a red mark against the sides of his face.

Something sparked within him; he’d always had a thing for leaving his mark.

“Fuck, Robert,” he whispered out as his breathing tried rapidly to return to normal.

“I better go,” he whispered back, leaning his forehead forwards to rest against Aaron’s.

Aaron’s dick was pulsing in his trousers; desperate for that touch that Robert had just teased him with.

“You can’t leave me like this,” Aaron begged; shameless with it; laughing under his breath because he knew full well that Robert had no choice but to leave him.

They could hear Adam clamouring around in the bathroom, and Robert’s eyes were darting around, desperate to make a run for it before they could get caught.

He reached for the door, leaning in and taking Aaron’s lips with his own again before he tore apart from him and swung the door open.

“Score me a hat-trick tomorrow and I’ll make sure you get finished off,” he winked at Aaron, voice all low and sultry and it was enough to make Aaron slump back against the wall behind him as Robert disappeared out of his room.

Adam emerged from the bathroom seconds later.

_Seconds._

He looked at him perplexed.

“What you doing hanging out in the doorway, you muppet?” he asked innocently.

Aaron sighed, shrugging as he offered Adam no explanation and returned to his bed.

He was damn well going to make sure he got that hat-trick, even if it killed him.

 

-s-

 

As it happens, he did get that hat-trick.

A perfect hat-trick, no less.

Right foot, left foot, header.

Two goals in the first half, which led to Robert making a point of encouraging the lads to feed everything forwards to Aaron to be able to get that third so that he could claim the match ball.

And his other prize, of course.

Aaron looked straight at Robert as soon as he headed Adam’s cross into the bottom left corner in the 76th minute; fully aware of the promise Robert had made to him the night before.

Robert smirked and shook his head in reply amidst his celebrations.

They won the game 3-0, and the away fans were in full voice singing their way through their repertoire of player’s chants as the final whistle blew.

Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off Robert as the match ended, joining the rest of the team in the centre of the pitch as they shook hands with the opposition but aware of Robert’s approach towards him from the dugout.

The section of the crowd packed with away support cheered Robert’s appearance on the pitch, breaking into a chant in his honour for the first time.

_Robert Sugden’s Black and White Army_

The inaccuracy of it wasn’t lost on Robert, seeing as they were playing in their away kit colours of Orange and Black, but he felt a frisson of pride ripple through him when he caught Aaron’s gaze and saw the way Aaron pointed up to the crowd, pointing out the way they chanted his name; their acceptance of him.

The team had been on their best form lately, and it was due in no small part to Robert’s leadership, so it was only right that the fans would soon get behind him.

And going three points clear at the top of the premier league table was a sure enough way to do that, he supposed.

Robert turned to wave to the fans, but returned his gaze back to Aaron as soon as was polite to do so; edging closer towards him on the pitch and being gradually more and more taken aback with how _good_ he looked post-match.

He didn’t think anyone could look so good in orange, but Aaron was certainly the exception.

And the way his top clung to him – sweat-drenched and skin tight over his chest and torso as he struggled to catch his breath – it was seriously doing things to Robert that were in no way appropriate in front of a crowd of 40,000 and the Sky TV cameras.

His hair was a ruffled mess – slicked with sweat and all out of place – and Robert couldn’t help but think about the fact that Aaron would look exactly like that if he ever managed to get him to himself for a few hours away from distractions and interruptions and the like.

His stomach fluttered at the thought of it.

A few of his team approached him, shaking his hand as they did, but Robert made a beeline for Aaron, had him in his sights and needed him to know he was going to make good on his promise.

A few of the team were nearby when he reached Aaron, so he could do no more than pat him on the back and offer him a knowing look with a flick of his tongue against his lips as Aaron looked back at him expectantly.

“A hat-trick, mate,” he said with a grin to Aaron. “Well done you.”

Aaron smirked back at him, shaking his head as his attention was caught by the club photographer calling them over.

It wasn’t exactly commonplace for them to have a team photo at the end of each game – they had the professional one taken at the start of every season and that was the one adorning the club website and framed onto the bedroom walls of kids across the country – but their host team that week were new to the Premier League and were making a point of capturing all of their visitors each week, so they made their way over and lined up for the team photo accordingly.

Aaron found himself next to Pete to his right and one of the physios to his left – Robert the other side of the physio – and without realising he shuffled back to move the other side of the physio to allow him to stand next to Robert in the photo.

He didn’t know why he’d done it, other than some urge inside of him that needed to be near Robert at any given opportunity.

He placed an arm around Robert’s shoulder, shiver running down his spine as he felt Robert’s arms around his own waist in return, taking a second to readjust and swap his arm around to slide underneath Robert’s, their height difference making his original stance a little uncomfortable.

He glanced up at Robert, catching his gaze for half a second and smirking back at him, words left unspoken between them because sometimes it seemed they just weren’t necessary any more, and they both turned to smile for the camera; Robert’s fingers tracing light patterns against Aaron’s waist as the flash popped.

Photos taken, the team dissipated, and Robert turned to Aaron to take his hand in a deceptively casual move, patting each other on the back as Robert leant in close and whispered his promise into Aaron’s ear.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” he said with a promise, smirk reaching all the way up to his eyes which glistened in anticipation of what was to come.

“You better not have,” Aaron replied back to him, holding his gaze for a little longer than was appropriate before they broke apart and made their way over to the crowd of away fans in the stand.

They stayed out and signed autographs for the fans who had stayed behind – Aaron watching on with some strange sense of pride that he wasn’t entirely sure he was entitled to feel as Robert found himself the centre of attention, kids scrambling to get his attention and thrusting selfie sticks and autograph books in his face as Aaron watched to the side.

Aaron had spent plenty of time with the fans over his time at the club – he’d always had time to spend with them where possible, and he was sure he could recognise a few in the crowd that he’d met on a number of occasions – so he was happy to let Robert take centre stage and bask in the glory of the fans for once.

He didn’t know why he felt the need to hang around pitch-side whilst Robert finished off the last few autographs, so he decided to make his way back down the tunnel after having taken a few selfies with the fans – the rest of his teammates already back in the changing rooms.

He was halfway down the tunnel when he felt a strong hand pulling back on his elbow, and spun around to see Robert holding onto him, his gaze darting around their surroundings at speed as he looked for an opportunity and to check if they had an audience.

There was a corridor off to their left, and Robert glanced around to check they weren’t being followed before dragging Aaron down the corridor – making their way down to the end of the short corridor and into a recess in the side of the wall, dimly lit and just wide enough to hide the both of them away should anyone have walked past.

“Rob –”

He couldn’t get out his words out before Robert’s lips were on his, his whole body pushing up against him as his lips placed that sweet pressure against him; Aaron finding himself yielding to it helplessly, his questions and hesitance at their public surroundings blurred out by the headiness of the feel of Robert up against him; thick and unmistakeable length of his cock rubbing up against the inside of his leg.

Robert pulled his lips away, leaning his forehead against Aaron’s in that way that was becoming _familiar;_ becoming _theirs._

“You look so fucking good,” Robert almost growled into the space between them, eyes locked onto Aaron’s as he looked up at him; pupils blown wide with passion and helplessness.

Aaron’s hands were fisting at the material of Robert’s sky blue tracksuit jacket, pulling him closer towards him.

“Look at you,” he uttered, before leaning down and grabbing his lips in another searing kiss, Aaron’s head banging off the wall behind him with the force Robert pushed against him with.

They broke off, laughing at Robert’s use of excessive force.

They were breathing in turn, chests heaving as they found the same desperate need for one another reflected in each other’s eyes.

“You did make a promise,” Aaron purred, eyes glancing from Robert’s eyes down to his lips and back again.

“Did I?” he teased back, eyebrows raised and tongue darting back out between his parted lips.

Aaron’s gaze was drawn back down – reminded of his state in the hotel room the night before as he’d watched that tongue on Sky Sports News – and he growled before reaching up to claim those lips and _that tongue_ as his own once more.

Robert’s hand traced down – the sound of movement from down the corridor reminding both of them of their limited time – and he slid his hand inside Aaron’s black shorts and boxers, finding his already hardened cock ready and waiting for him.

“Fuck, yes, Rob,” Aaron murmured, eyes rolling back into his head as Robert gripped him with those nimble fingers and started working him – fast, relentless, desperate and ragged.

Robert took a second to peer around the corner of the recess they were hidden in to check they were still undiscovered – hands still working at Aaron’s cock frantically – returning his gaze to Aaron once he was sure they were still along and as Aaron’s hands grabbed onto the sleeves of Robert’s tracksuit.

Robert watched him – _admired_ him – in that kit that he’d been wearing all afternoon; coming apart at his touch; wanton and desperate and begging for Robert to finish him.

He switched his grip – arm aching somewhat with it but he could tell Aaron was close; knees trembling now as he slunk back a little further against the wall behind him.

Robert watched him like he was some mystical creature – had the fleeting thought that he wondered if he could ever tire of seeing this fucked-out version of Aaron; helpless under his touch and coming apart at the seams; his own name trembling over his lips as he pushed his hips forward, matching the rhythm of Robert’s hands as he fucked up into his grip.

Robert pushed forwards and claimed his lips again - had needed to taste that sweet mixture of post-match sweat and salt and sweetness of Lucozade again – was delirious with the sensation of Aaron’s open and willing mouth; spent and helpless as Robert pushed his kisses against him, sucking on Aaron’s bottom lip as his hands worked away in desperation.

“Rob,” Aaron let out on a breath, “close,” was all he could manage, and within seconds he was spilling over into Robert’s hand, his hips bucking up with it, fist thrust into his mouth to bite down on to stop the groans from spilling from his lips and giving them away.

His body slumped back against the wall behind him, knees giving out on him.

Robert peeling himself away, bringing his hand up to his lips and holding Aaron’s glare as he trailed his tongue along his hand to lick away the evidence of their sordid moment.

Aaron tasted just as good as he had done the day before – salt and musk and everything _Aaron_ – and Robert groaned low in his throat with it.

“You best get in those showers,” Robert drawled, leaning forwards and placing another kiss against Aaron’s pliant lips.

He laughed, finding some of his strength returning as he shifted up and let his feet take his weight instead of the wall behind him; his studs scraping along the concrete floor beneath him as he shifted upwards.

“Don’t go perving,” Aaron teased, his voice betraying the full force of the effect of his orgasm as the words croaked out of him.

He coughed to compose himself, catching Robert’s eye and laughing with him.

“Well, I wouldn’t need to if you’d sent me that – ”

“Don’t start!” Aaron berated him playfully, punching against his shoulder lightly.

Robert couldn’t help but smile at him in return.

Aaron flicked his head to the side.

“Are we clear?” he asked.

Robert peered outside to the corridor, seeing their coast was still clear.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“I’ll go, you follow in a bit.”

“Okay,” Robert agreed, leaning in instinctively to claim a final kiss from Aaron.

Aaron let his lips linger a little longer than was necessary, before pulling away reluctantly.

“Text me later, yeah?” he purred, as Robert peeled his body away from him.

“Yeah,” he confirmed with a whisper, before watching Aaron slink off down the corridor, unable to keep his eyes off the way his arse looked in those football shorts, and the teasing glimpse of those thighs.

He slumped back against the wall, bringing his hand to his face and rubbing against his mouth.

He was still tingling from the feel of Aaron’s lips against him; could feel his skin red again from the stubble rash that he seemed accustomed to now.

He couldn’t help the smile that stretched over his face.

He might try to spend the majority of the time denying it, but for the briefest of seconds he let himself feel it.

He was in way too deep already; and damnit, he was having the _best_ time down there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and let me know what you thought :)
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr - wellyfullofale x


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. Your eyes are not deceiving you. An actual update!!  
> I'm sorry this has taken forever - I had a crisis of confidence and couldn't string a sentence together so this beast of a chapter didn't get going for quite a while! I'm still not sure it's quite good enough but I couldn't keep you waiting any longer :)  
> And to make it up to you I have produced an incredibly long chapter for you! (and there's smut, too!)  
> Hope it's worth the wait and thanks if you have stuck around long enough to keep reading!

**Chapter 13**

It had been three weeks since he’d found himself alone with Aaron for any longer than a few seconds.

Three. Whole. Weeks.

That was three weeks too long, as far as Robert was concerned.

He was desperate for him – desperate in a way he hadn’t been his whole life – his whole body sparking into life every time he saw him across a room, or his phone flashed up with a text message from him.

They’d been in constant contact, and the things Aaron said to him in the privacy of their text conversations had Robert begging for it even more; desperate to make true all the things Aaron had been promising him.

They’d managed stolen kisses wherever they could get them – Aaron lingering around in the changing rooms for the half a second they could get away with before going out onto the training pitch, and Robert had attempted on at least three occasions to call Aaron into his office for a quickie but found it fruitless – either interrupted by a constantly ringing phone, or Lawrence, or Adam who’d insisted on going up there with Aaron on one occasion, and Robert had realised there were only so many reasons he could try to find to need to call Aaron up to his office before people started to get suspicious.

They’d tried to find a little bit of time here and there after training – but there was always one of the team staying late to work on fitness, or Bob needing to speak to Robert, or the PR team calling Robert up for a statement on something.

They’d tried to find opportunity to meet at each other’s houses – but Vic and Adam seemed to be a permanent feature on Aaron’s sofa, and Chrissie had found herself clinging to Robert at every given opportunity over the past few weeks for some unknown reason. Maybe she knew deep down that she was losing him.

They couldn’t meet in public – it wasn’t like they could book a hotel like any other illicit couple – the media being far too savvy to let them get away with it.

They’d even met up in a layby on the side of a country road and attempted to get down and dirty in the back of Robert’s car, until they’d got spooked by some passing ramblers and the surprising amount of traffic on the road they’d chosen and they’d had to give up and make do with leaving it as a make out session.

They both knew the press would have a field day if they’d been spotted.

It _almost_ seemed like it wasn’t meant to be.

Except they both knew that it definitely, _definitely_ was.

And it was going to be so worth it when they finally managed to grab some alone time together, they were both quietly certain of that.

 

-s-

 

It was an average Wednesday morning, but Robert woke up with a smile on his face in the knowledge that he was finally going to have a chance to be alone with Aaron.

They were flying out to Munich for a Champions League game against Bayern, and they were both well aware that the team were staying in a hotel after the game – Robert having insisted on separate rooms for the players this time, having managed to persuade Lawrence that the rooms out there were cheap enough for them to splash out, and that some of the players had their families joining them.

It wasn’t like Lawrence was ever short of cash, anyway.

He reached over for his phone – checking that Chrissie was still sleeping soundly next to him before he clicked onto his message thread with Aaron and typed out the good morning message that was becoming strangely customary for them now.

_Morning. Looking forward to tonight. Finally ;)_

He smiled and he flicked off the message screen and loaded up the Sky Sports News app whilst he waited for Aaron’s reply.

He wasn’t much of a morning person, Robert was starting to realise, and he knew it could sometimes be a while until he heard back from Aaron.

He didn’t want to think about the way it made him feel when he finally saw Aaron’s name pop up on his screen in the mornings.

He didn’t want to let the words like _safe_ and _warm_ and _belonging_ fall into a sentence when he was thinking about another man.

He wanted to stay nestled in this world of denial he seemed to have found himself in, where he could be who he wanted when he was with Aaron, and still come back to Chrissie and his other life at the end of every day.

He didn’t want to think about the emptiness he was starting to feel whenever he was in this place that should feel like home; with this woman who should be his home.

He didn’t want to contrast that with the warmth that blossomed through him when Aaron walked into a room.

So he didn’t think about it all.

He locked it all away in a segment of his mind that he didn’t want to access, and he convinced himself he could continue having his cake and eating it for the rest of his life.

He was starting to worry that’s how long it was going to take for him to get past his need for Aaron, anyway.

His phone vibrated in his hand, and he saw Aaron’s name appear along the banner at the top.

It didn’t escape his attention that the Sky Sports app he’d got running was also showing him a picture of Aaron alongside a write up on their game that evening, as if he needed any further reminders of how gorgeous he was.

_Get me on that plane_

Robert couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face before typing out his reply.

_Can’t you wait until we’re at the hotel?_

He muffled a laugh, a little pleased with himself for his cheeky reply.

_I am not shagging you on a plane full of the lads. You can wait._

He felt the rush of blood to his dick at the thought of it, pleased as well to see confirmation that Aaron was definitely on the same wavelength with his intentions for the post-match celebrations.

It hadn’t really been in any doubt – not since he remembered seeing the look on Aaron’s face when he’d told him that he’d managed to convince Lawrence to part with a bit of extra cash to give the team the luxury of separate rooms in Munich after the game – but it was nice to see his suspicions confirmed.

_You better make it worth the wait then ;)_

Robert slunk out of bed to get himself in the shower, aware that he needed to find somewhere to work out the frustration now that Aaron had got him all worked up with promises for their evening together.

He stripped free of his boxers as he locked the door of the ensuite and leant in to turn the water on, holding his phone to wait for the reply before he let himself succumb to his need to work himself into a mess with his throbbing cock in the privacy of his shower.

_Don’t doubt it, I promise you’ll have the worst night’s sleep you’ve ever had ;)_

_These three weeks have killed me_

Robert smirked. He recognised those sentiments entirely.

And he didn’t really want to let himself think about what that meant.

_Me too. See you in an hour._

And with that promise and its subtext making his head spin, he took his pleading cock in his hand and bit down on his fist as he tried to stop the moans escaping; tried to make sure Chrissie wouldn’t hear him calling out Aaron’s name as he sent himself delirious with the anticipation of their evening together.

 

-s-

 

They tried to keep their distance during the journey to Munich.

It was kind of exciting – the thrill of knowing what they had planned for each other that evening as they were surrounded by the rest of the team who remained completely oblivious to it all; the knowing glances directed across a packed room that only the two of them were aware of.

A part of Aaron almost _enjoyed_ the secrecy of it.

_Almost._

He still had this gutting feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he heard Chrissie’s name – whether it came from Robert, or Lawrence, or anyone else in association with the club.

He couldn’t help the guilt that coursed through him on hearing her name; on realising what he was taking from her – what he and Robert were doing to her at every given opportunity – and what he planned to continue to do for as long as they could get away with it; for as long as Robert would want him.

He knew he wasn’t in a position to try and stop himself.

He knew – deep down – he was already too far gone for that.

He couldn’t let himself dwell on that though – knew that things were casual and that that was all Robert wanted, so he spent the afternoon trying to stay aloof yet suggestive as he eyed Robert from across the coach, airport lounge, baggage hall, hotel reception and training pitch, until Robert had to leave and address the media whilst the rest of the team went through their usual pre match preparations.

He’d almost forgotten that he was excited for the game, too. He’d always loved the Champions League – the glory of it all and the sense of occasion – feeling like he’d actually made it to the top of his profession, playing amongst the best teams in the world. It ranked second only to the feeling of pride he felt playing for England in the Euros and World Cup games, and yet he’d let himself get so consumed in excitement for Robert in his room after the match that he’d almost let himself forget that he had 75,000 fans to play in front of in a few short hours.

He really needed to try and get his head in the game.

He headed to the gym before the game to work out some of his pre-match nerves, and quite possibly some of the anticipation for later on, too, and stayed in there doing a gentle round of weights and circuits until Bob came to take him up for their pre-match meal.

Robert was nowhere to be seen – and he was the first face Aaron looked for in the packed room – but he was no doubt on media duty or something else important.

Aaron didn’t mind – Robert’s absence would help him to concentrate on the match perhaps, and that was what he needed right now.

 

-s-

 

Robert stepped out onto the dugout area and heard the rapturous applause from the spattering of fans who’d already arrived – the eager ones, there before kick-off to get a glimpse of the players in training – and Robert wouldn’t deny that it felt good to see them standing and applauding him onto the pitch, making him feel welcomed into the club at last.

He supposed he could claim to deserve their praise, seeing as they were currently standing at the top of the league table, but he was well aware that it was only mid-February and much could change before the end of the season.

Robert raised his hands above his head to applaud them in return – they had all flown out to Munich to watch the game, so they’d earnt the recognition – and when he looked back to the pitch his gaze happened to land on Aaron, who was looking in his direction with something that looked so much like pride that for a second it made Robert’s heart swell in his chest.

Aaron looked away as soon as Robert caught him looking, but he couldn’t hide the smirk from his face as he returned his focus to the ball at his feet. Robert was so well aware of it, smiling to himself too; the thrum of the anticipation of what was to come after the game rushing through him.

It was like he just couldn’t control his emotions where Aaron was involved.

He ignored and pushed down the voice in the back of his mind telling him he was treading on dangerous ground.

He didn’t want to think about that.

He glanced back over at Aaron – couldn’t help himself, despite being so well aware of their incredibly public location – and smiled again when he saw Aaron glance up at him.

It was a split second later he heard Adam’s call out to Aaron, warning him of the ball fast approaching his head, and Aaron quickly broke his gaze from Robert to turn and jump for the ball, returning it back to Adam with pinpoint precision, but twisting awkwardly on his descent as he fell to the ground, sending his left leg sliding out awkwardly to his left. He jolted with it, before rolling onto his back in agony.

Robert could hear Aaron’s expletive from the other side of the pitch, and his heart jumped into his mouth.

Adam was laughing to begin with, unaware of the seriousness of Aaron’s injury, making his way over to his best mate with a smile on his face. Robert watched on intently from where he still stood next to the dugout, reluctant to appear as if the sound of Aaron’s pain hadn’t hit him as hard as it had done.

Robert noticed the way that Adam’s face fell as he reached Aaron and immediately called over the physio, and his face fell with him unison with the concern Adam clearly had for his best mate.

Robert made his was over, too – heart racing as he let his thoughts get carried away with themselves as he noticed Aaron wasn’t moving at all as he lay back on the ground.

It was completely irrational for him to fear the worst, and he was aware of that.

It didn’t stop him, though.

He remembered the stories passed around in training all those years ago when he was at the youth academy – how one lad had told a story about someone who knew someone else who told them about one time a teammate fell to the floor after a bad tackle and swallowed their tongue, and that by the time anyone realised he’d choked to death.

Robert knew it was one of those stories with barely any truth to it.

He’d always laughed it off as ridiculous whenever he’d heard it, even as an impressionable thirteen year old.

He _knew_ it was irrational.

But it didn’t stop him breaking into a slight jog as he followed the physios across the pitch and in Aaron’s direction.

It didn’t stop his heart lodging itself in his throat the whole time.

It didn’t stop him letting out an audible sigh of relief as he approached where Aaron lay on the ground and saw his knees roll over as his lover squirmed in pain.

It didn’t stop him battling past Adam and Pete who crowded over him, so that he could stand in Aaron’s line of vision and satisfy the desperate urge he had to talk to him; to know he was alright.

“Are you okay?” he asked, trying to remain calm, but the croak of concern in his voice betrayed him, his voice fraught with some emotion he barely recognised.

Aaron glanced up to acknowledge him, eyes darting away almost immediately but resting there just long enough for Robert to recognise the emotion in there.

Aaron was scared.

It wasn’t something he’d ever seen before – fear wasn’t something he thought Aaron Dingle was capable of experiencing – but once he’d seen it flash across his face in an instant he felt like he was seeing another layer to Aaron unveil right in front of him.

The fear seemed to render Aaron speechless as he refused to acknowledge Robert’s question, instead glancing down to the physios who examined him, and jerking with the sharpness of the pain as they pushed against certain parts of his groin and ankle.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Robert asked again, but addressing the physios instead this time, realising Aaron wasn’t going to answer him.

“Looks like his ankle’s a bit twisted from where he fell, and he’s pulled his groin on his landing,” the physio replied as he looked up to catch Robert’s eye. “You’re gonna have to rest him – ”

“No chance!” Aaron snapped, looking between the physio and Robert with a defiant look on his face.

“If you play, Aaron, you’ll risk damaging – ”

“I’m not missing this game,” Aaron insisted, interrupting the physio again.

Robert become aware of the eyes of the group huddled around Aaron landing on him all of a sudden, and he knew he had a difficult call to make.

The physio looked up at him, and Robert knew his unease must have been plastered all over his face.

“If you rest him there’s a chance it’ll turn out to be minor and he’ll only be out for this game – ”

“Which we’ll lose,” Adam muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes as Robert glared at him.

The physio sighed as he gave Adam a disapproving look before turning his attention back to Robert.

“But if you take a risk and play him and it turns out to be the wrong call, he could be out for the rest of the season, gaffer.”

Robert noticed how Adam let his shoulders slump at that point, retreating slightly from his staunch defence of Aarons place on the field after hearing the physio’s prognosis.

Robert looked down at Aaron, aware of the call he was going to have to make and the implications for the two of them.

He knew what he had to do, and he knew Aaron wasn’t going to like it one bit.

He’d been thinking of nothing else but that hotel room for the past week since he’d managed to convince Lawrence to book separate rooms for all of the players instead of making them share, and he was reluctant to do anything that had the chance of jeopardising his plans for the evening by putting Aaron in the frame of mind to slam the door in his face later on.

He’d waited three weeks for it, and it made him feel physically sick to think that he would have to wait any longer when he’d been so certain of their plans.

But this wasn’t just about Robert.

This was also about business.

This was also about needing to win out on that pitch to keep their place in the competition, and knowing Aaron was their best chance of scoring.

This was needing to keep the fans happy when they’d spend a good chunk of their salary to make it out here for this game, with Robert in the knowledge that he had no real, suitable replacement for Aaron on the bench.

This was knowing that Lawrence demanded some degree of success in the Champion’s League if he was going to be in with a chance of proving himself to his future father-in-law, and certainly not being knocked out at the competition at the first opportunity.

This was all of those points; but it was all of them up against Aaron.

Aaron’s health, Aaron’s wellbeing, Aaron’s career.

There wasn’t really an argument.

“Get him back in the physio room,” Robert ordered to the physios, who nodded up at him, seemingly in agreement with his decision. “He’s not fit to play –”

“What? No!” Aaron protested as he tried to pull himself to his feet, wincing as he put pressure on his left ankle and attempting to conceal his pain.

“Adam, go and tell Jake he’s playing,” Robert gave out orders as he ignored Aaron’s protests. “Get him to start warming up and tell him he’ll be upfront with you.”

“I’m playing,” came Aaron’s further protests before Adam could have the chance to accept his orders.

They all watched on as Aaron tried to stretch out his groin, before doubling over in pain as he instinctively reached out and grabbed onto Robert’s forearm for support, before the physios took a hold of him and bore Aaron’s weight as his pain became clearly etched into the grimace on his face.

Robert was aware of the TV cameras honing in on them, picking up on the fact that their biggest threat for the opposition was clearly in a great deal of pain, and he could almost hear what he’d imagine the pundits would be saying as the news reached them – how it would slash their chances of success in the game without Aaron on the pitch.

But Robert couldn’t find it in himself to care about that – not when Aaron was in so much pain in front of him.

“Aaron, you’re not playing,” Robert insisted, aware that the cameras would have been able to pick up on his declaration too. “Fetch him a stretcher he’s in no position to walk back to – ”

“I’m fine,” Aaron insisted, only then looking up and glaring at Robert through narrowed eyes. “I’m playing.”

The crowd assembling around them flicked their eyes between Aaron and Robert, waiting for an answer.

“Do as you’re told, for once,” Robert smirked at him, inviting a puzzled look from the physio.

Robert corrected himself, aware the TV cameras were in dangerous proximity and that his flirtatious undertone had just been more obvious than he intended it to be.

“You’re in pain, Aaron,” Robert continued, attempting to glide over the way he’d just dropped his guard ever-so-slightly. “I can’t have you jeopardising the rest of the season for the sake of one game. Get yourself on that stretcher and concentrate of getting fit for Saturday.”

Aaron grunted, offering him nothing more in response other than to reluctantly sit himself down on the stretcher that had just appeared to take Aaron back into the changing rooms.

He didn’t even look back in Robert’s direction as they carried him away.

Robert’s stomach dropped with the realisation that in making that decision he may have just sacrificed his night in with Aaron after the game.

Robert tried to catch Aaron’s eye again before walking away, but he seemed intent on ignoring his presence, which only made Robert’s stomach drop further as he retreated back across the pitch and let the physios finish up with Aaron.

He assumed the brunet would want Robert out of his face for a while, anyway.

Robert couldn’t blame him – he’d been well aware of how much it meant to Aaron to play in the game – he’d talked about how the Champion’s League was his favourite competition to play in on many occasions over their past few weeks’ worth of text conversations – and Robert was starting to learn that Aaron didn’t take too well to disappointment.

He’d certainly been annoyed every time Robert had been forced to let him down last minute over the last couple of weeks, anyway.

Robert decided to give him some space as he proceeded to break the news to the rest of the team and to update them on their revised tactics for the game. He gave Jake a quick pep talk, too – it would be quite a debut for the young lad, and he’d need all the support he could get.

The fans were starting to fill their seats as the time passed by, and Robert became aware of the news of Aaron’s injury filtering around the crowd by the sight of their disappointed faces, and the various heckled questions thrown in his direction. He answered with a resigned shrug – there wasn’t much he could do about it, after all.

By the time the pre-match training session had drawn to a close with around twenty minutes to kick off, Robert felt an increasing need to check up on Aaron.

He was worried about him after all.

He understood Aaron’s anger on the pitch, but he hoped beyond hope that his impending panic about Aaron using that as a means to cancel their after-match plans were unfounded.

He really hoped Aaron didn’t have a desire to use it as a means to punish him, even if he knew that was a totally Aaron-like move to pull.

He made his way into the changing rooms, noticing the physio door at the back of the room was locked shut with Aaron receiving his treatment on the other side.

He contemplated barging in and demanding the room be emptied, or texting Aaron to test the waters beforehand, but the door opened as he stood in the middle of the changing rooms staring at it, with the physios and Bob emerging from the other side.

“How is he?” Robert asked them, attempting to appear only as concerned as a manager should be and not an ounce more.

“Ankle doesn’t look as bad as we first thought,” Bob reassured him with his eyebrows raised and a friendly hand against Robert’s upper arm, which he promptly shrugged away from. “We’ll pop him in for an x-ray and ultrasound whilst the game’s on, just to be sure, but it should be all clear. Groin looks like a little tweak, will have to see what shows up on the ultrasound there too.”

“Right, good,” Robert replied, before frowning at Bob’s amused expression.

“It was the right thing to rest him, but I’m glad I’m not you right now – I think you just topped the list of Aaron’s most hated!” Bob laughed as he teased Robert, unaware of the way that Robert’s stomach somersaulted on hearing those words leave his assistant manager’s lips.

“What? Seriously?” Robert questioned, shaking his head as he took in a deep breath. “Surely he knows it’s for the best?”

It was more a question for the universe in general, but Bob found the need to answer him.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come round,” he replied with a smirk and a wink. “Eventually!”

“Leave it with me, Bob,” Robert replied with a heavy heart, looking through the crack in the door to the physio room where he could make out Aaron’s calves lying up on the physio table. “I’ll see if I can talk him around. Are you finished checking him over?”

“Yes, all done,” Bob replied. “He’s all yours.”

If only that were true.

Robert nodded and made his way towards the physio room, before stopping in his tracks and turning back to Bob.

“Leave us for a few minutes, yeah?” Robert asked, losing his ability to care about whether Bob’s suspicions would be raised. “I need to try and smooth things over.”

“Right you are,” Bob smiled with a flick of his eyebrows as he left Robert to it.

The changing room may have been packed with his players and staff anxiously awaiting kick off, and the stadium may have been full up with fans eager for a result, and the corridor outside may have been heaving with media desperate to hear Robert’s interview on his last minute team change – but there was only one thing Robert could focus on; only one person who he had any desire to talk to in that precise moment.

Aaron.

He sloped into the physio room, and Aaron glanced up at him through his lashes like a surly teenager as Robert shut the door behind him, the click of the lock reverberating around the silence of the room – this safe haven – in contrast to the hustle and bustle on the other side of it.

“Might have known you’d appear,” Aaron muttered under his breath as he leant back on the physio table, letting his head rest against the cushioned head rest as his eyes fixed on the ceiling. “What do you want?”

Robert let his eyes travel up and down Aaron’s body as he lay flat out on the physio table – knee of his injured leg bent upwards allowing his shorts to ride down his thigh, and Robert swallowed down past the lump in his throat at the sight of Aaron’s exposed thighs.

Robert wanted to lurch forwards and wrap his palms around them, caressing them up and down as he squeezed at the thick muscle, but he didn’t know if he was allowed to any more.

He still couldn’t tear his eyes away, though.

“I wanted to check you were okay,” Robert replied, his voice gentle and soft and a little unsure of itself in a way that Aaron didn’t think he recognised.

“I’d be better if you let me play,” Aaron retorted on instinct.

Robert sighed, moving away from the door to approach the physio table at Aaron’s side.

“You know I can’t let you play,” he reasoned, almost pleading with Aaron to be reasonable. “You know I had no choice – not really.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head to indicate his disapproval, but Robert could see a hint of acceptance in his expression, and he knew he had room to work with.

He circled around the room, stopping at the foot of the physio table as Aaron’s eyes followed him around and shifted up a little so that he was resting back on his elbows, watching Robert’s eyes run up and down his body with admiration.

He couldn’t deny the jolt of _something_ running through him at the realisation that Robert liked what he saw.

He wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at him quite the way that Robert did.

“Where does it hurt?” Robert asked softly, his fingers reaching out and starting to trail patterns over the skin exposed on his left shin, above the bandaging that strapped up his ankle injury.

“Robert,” Aaron attempted to warn him off, half-heartedly he’d admit.

The fingers were trailing up past Aaron’s knees now, over the spot on his inner thigh where he’d pulled his groin muscle, and Aaron wasn’t sure he was really in a position to make Robert stop.

How did Robert manage to take him from angry to frustrated to turned on in the space of a few seconds?

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked in an effort to remain coy, despite being fully aware of the answer.

He felt his shoulders relax at the feel of Robert’s touch against his skin, and he tried desperately to suppress the smile that threatened to expose itself alongside the quiet murmured groans of pleasure that Robert seemed to have the knack of eliciting from him.

The fingers tickled against his skin, inviting a stream of goose bumps up his inner thigh and a groan of pleasure from his lips.

Damnit, why could he not stay angry with him?

Why did he have to be so helpless for Robert’s touch?

“I’m trying to make it better,” Robert whispered, a smile ghosting over his lips as he looked up at Aaron and caught his gaze.

He leant down to close the short distance between himself and Aaron’s legs on the physio table, placing a gentle stream of kisses against the bandaging on his ankle and up his shins.

“You’re not bloody Prince Charming, y’know,” Aaron muttered, but his intention of sounding disinterested came out much more light heartedly than he’d intended.

Robert looked up at him and smiled, and he couldn’t help himself.

He cracked a smile back, and knew his game was up.

“Should I stop trying to kiss it better, then?” Robert flirted back, and Aaron bit down on the inside of his gums to stop his smile from spreading too wide.

“No,” Aaron whispered out just as Robert’s lips made their way past his knees and to the soft, tender skin of his inner thighs. “No, don’t stop,” he pleaded, suddenly past caring about trying to stay mad at Robert.

“I thought you’d say that,” Robert smirked as he continued to pepper gentle kisses up and down Aaron’s thighs, his hands joining now as he let his palms trail up and over Aaron’s knees before pushing down his thighs, grabbing at the juicy muscle as he used the opportunity to push his shorts further down and let them bunch up in the dip where his legs met his hips.

He stilled his hands in that spot – aware how agonisingly close to Aaron’s hardening cock he was – and Robert could feel the movement in Aaron’s shorts as his dick throbbed and shifted as it hardened in his boxers.

Robert continued his assault of Aaron’s senses, letting his lips trail up and down Aaron’s thighs, coarse hairs tickling against his lips as he sucked against Aaron’s skin.

He could tell Aaron’s breathing was quickening – could see the rise and fall of his chest on the physio table as he glanced up at him seductively – and he smirked as he recognised the moment that Aaron gave into it completely, as he flung his head back against the table and brought his hands up to cover his eyes; hips writhing invitingly as Robert’s lips got closer and closer and closer to where Aaron needed them.

“Fucking hell,” Aaron breathed out on a whimper. “Every time,” he added, as if he was attempting to start a sentence, but Robert’s lips moved closer still as his hands pushed up against his throbbing cock, and he lost the ability to function.

Robert arrogantly assumed it would have been some remark about how he manages to make Aaron feel like this every time he touched him.

He certainly hoped that was where Aaron was going with it, anyway.

“Where does it hurt?” Robert asked him again, hands gliding over to massage the thickness of his cock through the material of his boxers and shorts now as his lips kissed against the muscle of his groin, tasting like a heady mixture of sweat and citrus shower gel as he closed in on where he knew Aaron wanted him.

“Higher,” Aaron encouraged him, although Robert was aware he was directing him somewhere different to the groin he’d supposedly pulled.

As much as he wanted to tease, Robert realised he didn’t have the time for it, and with the sound of the crowd filtering through from outside he found a renewed urge to take what he needed from Aaron, and to take it quickly.

He moved his hands quickly to grab at Aaron’s hips, and he jerked him quickly to pull him down the physio table to bring him closer to him, his body sliding easily against the plastic-covered table. Aaron looked down at him and frowned at being man-handled, and Robert thought for a second he was going to kick off at him until he decided to shut him up by thrusting his hand inside Aaron’s shorts and wrapping his hands around the familiar shape of Aaron’s dick, and he looked up to watch the moment that Aaron’s expression went from questioning to pure ecstasy in the blink of an eye.

Robert smirked, aware that that was the effect he had on this man laying before him.

He went in hard – rough and desperate with his attack on Aaron’s senses, tugging at his dick with a ferocity that seemed to match their temperament sometimes – and Aaron called out his name in approval.

“Need to make it quick,” Robert reminded him, as if it wasn’t already obvious that he had somewhere to be imminently thanks to the sound of the fans chanting his name outside in the stadium.

“Do it harder then,” Aaron begged back shamelessly, glancing down and offering Robert a smirk.

“Aaron Dingle, your wish is my command,” Robert flirted back, before tugging at Aaron’s cock with renewed vigour.

Aaron let himself writhe around at his touch – giving in to the sensation of it completely – enjoying his own little warm up to what he knew was to come later on. He thrust his hips up into Robert’s rhythm, groaning with it as he let Robert’s hands work at him furiously, setting the pace so much quicker than he usually did thanks to their limited timescale.

They’d both been so desperate for each other for the last three weeks that Aaron knew he wasn’t going to last long anyway.

They heard a bang against the door – sounded something a boot or something being thrown towards it – and a look of panic plastered over Robert’s face as he stilled for a second.

“Don’t stop, please,” Aaron begged, and Robert did as he was told, despite the reminder of the real world and all of its implications on the other side of the door. “You did lock it didn’t you?” he added, despite remembering hearing the click of the lock when Robert had first walked into the room.

“Yeah,” Robert replied, a panic in his voice that Aaron couldn’t ignore. “Are you close?” he asked with a hint of desperation.

“Yeah,” he breathed back at him.

“Make it quick,” Robert begged of him, having no intention of leaving him on edge when he had to go through the trauma of hospital x-rays in a few moments time, but all too well aware that he couldn’t exactly turn up late to the match without some serious questions being asked.

“Get your mouth on me, then,” Aaron ordered him unashamedly.

Robert hesitated for less than half a second before doing exactly as instructed; pulling Aaron’s cock completely free of his shorts before leaning over and wrapping his lips around the seeping head of Aaron’s dick.

He kept his hands working away frantically as he let his mouth slick over Aaron’s dick, and damn he tasted so good it sent him delirious with it as he kissed and licked and sucked away at his tip.

He was seconds away from taking Aaron root to tip when he felt his hips jutting up into his touch, joined with the sound of Aaron groaning out his name as he tried to suppress his volume with a bitten fist in his mouth, and the hot heat of Aaron’s cum shooting down the back of his throat in waves.

He swallowed down every drop – that taste that he was starting to realise was so distinctly _Aaron_ – and peppered kisses along his groin again as he felt him riding through the aftershocks, chest heaving and hands raking through his own hair as he tried to adjust himself back into the room.

“Any better?” Robert asked after a few moments, when he thought he could see Aaron’s breathing return to normal after his arms flopped down by his side.

Aaron lifted himself up onto his elbows again, raising his head up to meet his eyes with Robert’s as he stood at the foot of the physio table.

“That was….that was…”

“Pretty good?” Robert finished his sentence for him, and Aaron wondered how he had the balls to be so arrogant about something he was in pretty serious denial about feeling.

“Yeah,” he agreed though, deciding not to fight that precise battle right in that moment.

Robert Sugden gave good head.

He was starting to build up a portfolio of examples to prove it.

And he couldn’t wait to add to it further.

“I should probably, y’know,” Robert started as he gestured towards the door and the team the other side of it, rounding the table as he spoke to find himself level with Aaron’s shoulders.

“Hmm, enjoy the game,” Aaron replied, tinged with bitterness that he wasn’t going to be able to play a part in it.

Robert couldn’t help but lean down and place a kiss against his lover’s lips, sure he could pinpoint the moment Aaron tasted himself on his tongue with the way that he groaned into their kiss suddenly.

He pulled away reluctantly, checking his watch and realising he would be about to miss kick-off if he wasn’t careful.

“Good luck at the hospital,” he smiled as he ran his fingers through Aaron’s hair, despite Aaron wriggling away from his touch and swatting him away.

Robert couldn’t help but laugh with affection at his mannerisms.

“Cheers,” Aaron muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes. “Good luck with the game,” he added as he took the weight off his elbows and rested his head and shoulders back against the physio table.

“We’ll need it, without you,” Robert admitted quietly as he unclicked the lock on the door behind him, giving Aaron a small smile as he looked up at him.

 “Whatever,” Aaron laughed and dismissed his comments away.

Robert smiled back at him, before finding the strength to pull himself away.

He had a game to win.

Even if it kind of felt like he had already won, anyway.

 

-s-

 

Robert had barely been able to concentrate all game, and if he’d allowed himself to think about that fact too much, he might have realised he was already too far into Aaron to ever be able to escape.

But he let that thought stay hidden in the recesses of his mind; never to be addressed.

They managed to grind out a 1-1 draw, with Adam scoring their goal from a dubious looking penalty that Robert would realise on a replay they probably shouldn’t have been awarded, but at least it meant they had something to play for in the second leg back at home in a few weeks’ time.

After the game, the post-match demands seemed so much more _demanding_ for Robert than usual – with every media outlet seeming to want a piece of him, and the team needing their post-match congratulations for coping without Aaron on the pitch, and Lawrence wanting a skype call with a rundown of the incidents of the game.

He’d text Aaron to let him know he was on his way back, and was relieved to hear by his reply that not only was he back from the hospital with a decent enough prognosis for his injuries, but that he was waiting up for Robert’s arrival having finally managed to clear Adam out of his room.

It was gone 11.30pm by the time that Robert finally made it back to the hotel – the team having made their way back earlier on in the night without having to address the media like Robert did – and the lobby of the hotel room was quietly deserted.

As desperate as he was to get to Aaron, an idea formed in his mind as he watched a young couple sat in the hotel bar, finishing off the remnants of a bottle between them, and Robert stopped in the hotel lobby and turned on his heels to make his way towards the bar.

He ordered a bottle of champagne, and declined the bartender’s offer to bring it up to his room, instead opting to wait for them to assemble an ice bucket and some glasses.

He had no idea what he was supposed to be celebrating – evading the question when the bartender tried to make conversation by asking the question – but there was something about him finally getting into a hotel room, for a whole night, alone, with Aaron, that was making his body thrum with excitement.

It felt _special._

It felt like an _occasion._

It felt like they deserved champagne.

They had been waiting three whole weeks, after all.

He thanked the bartender and carried the tray over to the lift, waiting with an elderly couple as the lift doors pinged open and they made their way inside.

He noticed how the elderly lady looked over to him with a look of admiration on her face – like she approved of his romantic choices – and he smiled back towards her warmly.

He didn’t suppose her expression would remain quite so approving if she knew he was intending to drink most of this champagne by licking it from Aaron’s fucked out body.

The thought of it made him smirk in the lift, and he got a quizzical look from the lady in return, making him thankful for the lift finally reaching his floor before she’d have the chance to ask any questions.

He followed the signs on the hotel corridors to room 327, rushing slightly in the hope that he could get to Aaron’s room without being spotted and cursing the fact that it seemed to be the furthest room from the lift to make his journey as precarious as it could be.

He wasn’t sure he could really explain the champagne bottle and two glasses should he bump into someone in the corridors.

He sighed with relief as he turned a corner and saw the numbers 3 2 7 in gold lettering on the door to his left.

He took a breath, adjusting himself to make sure he looked his best, before knocking on the door three times.

He heard movement inside the room – aware that with his injuries it may take a little longer for Aaron to reach the door – but his heart jumped into his throat as he heard the handle go and found himself met with Aaron’s eyes once more.

He watched the way that Aaron’s expression softened as soon as he laid eyes on him, and then the smile that appeared slowly as he glanced down to the champagne on the tray Robert was holding.

He let out a gentle laugh as he moved out of the doorway to let Robert through, closing it behind him and turning the lock, just in case.

“Champagne?” Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow as he followed Robert’s movements into the room and towards the table where he placed the tray.

“Yep,” Robert beamed as he turned back towards Aaron. “Thought we deserved it after waiting so long.”

Aaron hobbled back towards the bed, still unable to put much weight on his left leg as he sat on the edge of the bed and watched Robert from across the room.

“Couldn’t you just have got us a couple of beers?” he teased.

Robert took the champagne bottle and unwrapped the foil casing, twisting at the metal and then popping the cork with such ease that Aaron couldn’t help but watch on in admiration.

It looked like he was used to it, like the champagne lifestyle was something Robert Sugden was accustomed to, and born to enjoy.

It made Aaron flinch for a second with the realisation of how different they were, and how he couldn’t ever really expect to be a match for Robert in the real world – that their connection existed only here, behind closed doors, without the rest of the world having any knowledge of it.

Aaron had known that was what he was letting himself in for, but he didn’t want to consider why the thought of not being enough for Robert made something pierce through his insides and manifest itself into a surge of actual physical pain that coursed through him.

He pushed it down; it wasn’t helping things.

And it wasn’t going to stop him doing what he’d spent the last three weeks desperate for.

“Are you always this ungrateful?” Robert teased as he filled two glasses, the liquid bubbling up to meet the rim of the glass as he poured with perfect precision.

He waited for the bubbles to settle before topping up the glasses, and handed one over to Aaron as he sat on the edge of the bed. He held his own glass out to chink it against Aaron’s, them both muttering out a _cheers_ before Robert took a satisfying sip.

Aaron took a gulp, before pulling a face at how dry and fizzy it was.

He really hated champagne, and he wasn’t about to pretend to like it for the sake of Robert Sugden and his over-inflated ego.

“Sorry, but that’s rank,” Aaron grumbled as he leant forwards and placed his glass back down on the table, before reaching for the mini bar and taking out a can of lager.

He turned back to Robert who glared over at him with a mixture of shock and disgust.

“Are you seriously gonna – ”

“Well you should have checked I liked it first, shouldn’t you!”

He was grinning from ear to ear, aware that he’d just turned down Robert’s probably extortionately expensive champagne in favour of a can of 3.8% ABV lager that you’d find on constant promotion in your local off licence.

Robert tried to look annoyed for all of five seconds, but he couldn’t help himself but break into a smile when he took in the way that Aaron looked up at him – striking blue eyes glazed over with something innocent and playful; lips turned up with a hint of the most genuine of smiles that made Robert melt with its beauty.

“You better make it up to me, then,” he purred as he sauntered over towards Aaron, knocking at his knees to make a space for him between them, and he knew by the look in Aaron’s eye that he had every intention of doing so.

“What have you got in mind?” Aaron teased, leaning back on his elbows as Robert stood between his legs.

“I think you know,” he replied, dripping in suggestion. “I think you’ve had the same thing on your mind all day, too.”

He watched as Aaron swallowed down – Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he did so – and his eyes flicked between his own eyes and lips and back again.

He knew Aaron wanted him.

He wanted him back in equal measure.

A part of him couldn’t believe he’d made it through these three weeks and was finally in a hotel room, alone, with Aaron laid out on the bed before him.

He took a second to drink in the features of the man before him – the hint of a smile, those inviting eyes, and the definition of his abs almost recognisable through the thin white t-shirt he wore – and he took a gulp from his glass before discarding it onto the table behind him.

“Sure you didn’t have quite as many clothes on in my plans, though,” Robert quipped, unable and unwilling to control the flirtatious smile that spread across his face.

Aaron bit down on his bottom lip to suppress his smile.

“You’ll have to come here and do something about that then, won’t you?” Aaron teased back, and it was all the invitation Robert needed as he leant forwards and grabbed at Aaron’s t-shirt, pulling him forward to catch his lips with his own.

It was all teeth and tongue and bitten lips with the ferocity of their need for one another, and within seconds they were tearing the clothes off one another; a scrambled mess of limbs as they battled to get to that skin on skin contact that they both craved; lips meeting at every opportunity; hands trailing over biceps and chests and waists to try and fulfil that craving they’d both had for one another in the weeks they’d been deprived of it.

When Aaron was suitably de-clothed he flung himself back onto the bed, ignoring the dull ache in his groin muscle, scrambling to push himself further up to the head of the bed as Robert climbed up the bed after him on all fours, eyes locked in with Aaron’s the whole way.

“I’ve missed this,” Robert whispered as his eyes lowered to take in Aaron’s body beneath him, skin taut over defined muscles that made his eyes water.

Aaron wasted no time, breaking away from Robert’s gaze to lean over and grab the condom and lube he’d already left on the bedside table as he’d waited for Robert to arrive and flinging it on to the bed sheet by his side.

Robert followed his movements, looking back at Aaron with a smirk.

“You’re keen,” he purred, and his voice was low and thick with something that made Aaron’s skin fizzle.

“Just shut up and fuck me, Robert,” he begged; exasperated.

Robert didn’t need telling twice – something about the way those words sounded coming from Aaron’s mouth had him urging forwards and claiming his lips with his own, tongue sliding in against Aaron’s, tasting of cheap lager and something that was so distinctly _Aaron_ that it had Robert groaning into his mouth with it and drawing his hands down his chest until he was fisting at his dick and making Aaron’s hips squirm in appreciation for his touch.

Aaron groaned as Robert pulled his hands away seconds later, fumbling around on the sheets to find the bottle of lube as he deepened the kiss, manoeuvring around down the bed until Robert had himself settled between Aaron’s legs, fingers coated with lube and teasing at his rim.

“Robert,” Aaron begged into his kiss.

Robert usually liked to tease, but he’d been deprived of the sensation of Aaron’s body wrapped around him for too long that his patience was shot and he knew he didn’t have it in him to wait.

He also knew they had all night in this room for plenty of teasing.

He prepared him quickly – one finger to two and then three to stretch him open as Aaron writhed around beneath him, expletives leaving his lips as his eyes rolled back into his head – and within minutes Robert was fucking into Aaron with his fingers as he fisted as his own cock until he couldn’t hold off any longer.

Aaron leant up and tore open the condom open with his teeth, batting Robert’s hands from his cock to roll it on, barely able to function with the way that Robert’s fingers were pulsing into him and grazing past that sweet spot inside of him as his hips bucked up into Robert’s touch and begged Robert for what he needed from him.

Seconds later Robert was obliging, pushing into Aaron, hands grabbing at any part of each other they could reach as he fucked into him, feeling himself coming apart with every plea that left Aaron’s lips as he doubled his assault on the brunet, wrapping his slender fingers around his leaking cock and fisting at it in ragged motion as he struggled to coordinate himself alongside the head-rush of pleasure that made him almost forget his own name.

It was quick, and it was fraught, and it was desperate, and it was everything that could be expected when they’d both been starved of each other for over three weeks.

Within minutes Aaron was bucking his hips up with renewed vigour as he called out Robert’s name and came in short, sharp spurts over his own stomach.

The clench of Aaron’s orgasm as it rippled through his body left Robert following quickly in his wake, sucking on Aaron’s bottom lip as he felt his own release pulsing through him before he collapsed on top of Aaron, head nestling into the space on the pillow above Aaron’s left shoulder, stomach wet with Aaron’s cum as he collapsed on top of it.

He stayed there as he recaptured his breath – aware of the rise and fall of Aaron’s chest beneath him as he battled to get himself down to earth too – the heady mixture of sweat and sex filling the air around them until Robert found the strength to pull himself out of Aaron and roll himself off him to lay in the sheets beside him, stomach smothered with Aaron’s cum and with no inclination to wash it off any time soon.

They made it back down to earth – or as close to it as Aaron thought possible when he was lying next to this man in his bed – and Robert managed to drag himself out of bed to fetch the bottle of champagne that he had no intention of wasting, even if Aaron wanted nothing to do with it.

Robert would find a use for it.

Aaron looked up at him with a glazed-over expression as he returned to the bed with the bottle in his hand, taking a swig straight from the bottle as he settled into the sheets.

Aaron watched the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, licking his lips inadvertently.

Robert caught the look in Aaron’s eye and he laughed with it, almost choking on the fizzy champagne as he pulled the bottle from his lips, a trail of the amber bubbles flowing down his cheek.

In a flash Aaron leapt up and let his tongue lick up the rogue champagne that was flowing down Robert’s collarbone by the time he got to it, and he soaked it up all the way back to Robert’s mouth as he shifted in the bed and hauled himself into Robert’s lap, thighs either side of him as he could feel Robert’s cock against his arse cheeks.

Aaron swiped his tongue into Robert’s mouth, the bitterness of the champagne mixed with the sweat from his collarbone prickling on Aaron’s taste buds and making him groan with it.

Robert laughed, and Aaron pulled away, self-conscious all of a sudden as he dropped his hands from Robert’s neck down to his waist.

“I thought you didn’t like champagne,” Robert teased, immediately putting Aaron’s mind at ease and drawing a smile from the younger man.

“Maybe it tastes better on you,” Aaron flirted back.

His words did something to Robert’s insides, leaving him with an urge he had to fulfil.

He stared into Aaron’s eyes for a few seconds before acting on it, holding the champagne bottle in his right hand as he suddenly pushed Aaron back onto his side of the bed with his left hand – met with the sound of Aaron as close to a giggle as he thought Aaron was capable of reaching – and he rolled on top of him until he was the one straddling Aaron’s thighs as he lay back on the bed, holding his arms down with his free hand.

“If that’s the case I better test your theory out,” Robert purred as Aaron looked up at him smiling, eyes soft and full of something that made Robert’s heart beat a little faster.

Aaron watched on as Robert took another swig of the champagne straight from the bottle and swallowed down brazenly before holding the bottle aloft Aaron’s stomach.

Aaron laughed, the anticipation of what he knew Robert was about to do making him tense his stomach muscles and attempt to fight Robert off half-heartedly.

He wanted it just as much as Robert did.

He watched on as the bottle tipped further and further towards being horizontal as Robert held it above his stomach – looking up and gauging the playful expression on Robert’s face as he held his gaze back.

Aaron shook his head but laughed with it, and within seconds he was flinching as the cold liquid hit his stomach.

“Jesus,” he cursed with the chill of it bringing goose bumps to his skin as it flowed over his stomach and dribbled down past his waist, puddling on the sheets.

Seconds later Robert’s tongue was on him, tracing the patterns of the champagne as he murmured in appreciation, the taste of money and Moet et Chandon mixing in with the taste of _Aaron_ that was still plastered to his skin, and it was intoxicating.

He repeated it time and time again, Aaron flinching a little less each time Robert poured some more champagne onto him, rolling his hips with the rising pleasure that built up inside of him at the sensation of Robert’s tongue roaming all over his body as he poured the champagne and followed it up with his tongue from head to toe.

Aaron groaned with appreciation for the sensation of every second of it, gently stroking his hand through the short hair at the back of Robert’s head as he watched the blond man explore his entire body, tongue dipping into the dip and groove of his muscle and his hip bones and his collar bone, suckling exhilaratingly at Aaron’s neck before licking a strip up to his earlobe and nibbling at it, sending waves of his breath into his ear and chills through his entire body with the sensation of it.

Aaron laughed with the tickling sensation of Robert’s breath in his ear, and Robert pulled away to take in the sight of the beaming smile that he couldn’t get enough of, feeling his heart skip a beat in his chest at the sight of it.

He took another swig from the champagne bottle – draining its contents – and looked down at Aaron wide eyed as he held the liquid in his mouth.

Aaron’s laughter filled the room as Robert discarded the empty bottle and pinned Aaron down playfully by his wrists, straddling his hips still, his hard cock bobbing against Aaron’s stomach as they laughed, aware of Aaron’s erection pushing against his arse cheeks as he sat on his lap.

He wriggled into it a little, smiles fading into lust as they held eye contact; the atmosphere in the room slowly shifting as Robert leant down and waited for Aaron to open his lips obligingly. Robert hovered his lips over Aaron’s inviting mouth and slowly let the champagne dribble from his lips, aware of Aaron’s demeanour shifting – eyes darkening, skin tingling – as he swallowed down the liquid he’d turned down so vehemently when Robert had first turned up in his room.

Robert knew it was doing something for Aaron – could tell with the way his whole body shifted slightly beneath him, and with the way Aaron’s lips leapt up to claim Robert’s as his own as soon as he was out of champagne; with a desperation that Robert felt only too familiar with himself.

He felt a sudden urge for something he’d never had before, and he pulled away from the kiss to ask the question before he lost his nerve.

He stared into Aaron’s eyes for a short second before posing the question.

“You wanna take the lead?” Robert asked, his eyes darkened all of a sudden as he realised he was crossing a line he hadn’t dare cross before.

He didn’t know what made him ask, but for the first time in his life, he felt like he wanted it; wanted to give in and experience the kind of pleasure he’d seen plastered over Aaron’s face moments earlier.

He’d never done it before – had always been the one in charge; the one on top – and he’d never even considered changing that. Had never wanted to, in fact.

Until now.

Until he had Aaron in his bed, and until he realised that he wanted to give this part of himself to the amazing man lying beneath him with that beautiful smile and those piercing eyes.

Until he realised that Aaron made him feel _safe_ , in a way he’d never felt _safe_ before.

And until he realised that he _did_ want it; and he wanted it with Aaron, specifically.

“If you want me to,” Aaron said back, feeling something prickle through him at the thought of it, voice cracking slightly as it betrayed his slight surprise at Robert asking for this from him.

He wouldn’t have assumed that Robert gave up the control that easily.

Aaron had always been versatile with other men before Robert – had no preference and was quite prepared to let Robert take the lead as he seemed more comfortable with doing so from what he’d seen so far – but he’d relish the opportunity to sink himself into Robert if that’s what he was suggesting.

“I want you to,” Robert replied gingerly, before breaking eye contact with Aaron in a move that screamed vulnerability and made Aaron form a lump in his throat.

He questioned it then; wondered whether Robert had ever done that before.

And if not, then why was he deciding to do this now?

“You okay?” Aaron asked sincerely, letting his fingers trace tiny patterns against Robert’s hands as they still held his wrists down lightly.

Robert smiled at him; vulnerability seeping out of him still.

“Yeah,” Robert reassured him, leaning down to take his lips in a gentle kiss. “Be gentle with me,” he purred seductively, pretending to tease, but Aaron could see the apprehension behind his façade.

He leant up to meet Robert’s kiss again.

“ ‘Course I will,” Aaron assured him sincerely. “Are you sure you wanna –”

“I’ve never been more sure,” Robert interrupted him adamantly.

Aaron looked up at him and smiled, biting down on his lip with anticipation.

“Roll over then,” Aaron smirked. “On all fours, boss,” he added with a wink.

Robert broke into a smile and did as he was told, feeling a thrill rush through him at the mere suggestion of Aaron giving him orders to follow.

He felt like it was something he could get used to.

When he called him that, especially.

He listened on as Aaron shifted onto his knees, reaching for the lube that lay discarded in amongst the bed sheets beneath them and anticipating the feel of Aaron’s fingers in and around his rim.

Instead, he felt the heat of Aaron’s body as he approached him from behind, thrilling with the feel of skin on skin contact as Aaron draped himself over the length of his back to whisper into his ear.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, sincerely.

“Yeah,” Robert nodded, without question.

“Just relax, and try to enjoy it then,” Aaron reassured him, pecking a kiss against the nape of Robert’s neck before peppering kisses all the way down his spine.

He could feel the bristle of Aaron’s beard along his back, goose bumps pricking up on his skin that he knew Aaron would feel against his lips as he made his way along Robert’s body, and it sent a thrill through him that he knew he’d never tire of.

Robert guessed what Aaron was planning, and the anticipation of it sent something humming around his body. He knew he was giving something to Aaron that he’d never given to another man before, and as much as he may have tried to convince himself there was no sentimentality in his decision – that it was just timing and Aaron happened to be the guy he was screwing at the point in his life when he wanted to try out something new; that he wasn’t a teenager in a cliché American high school movie – he was quickly starting to resent himself for the constant excuses he told himself.

He wanted Aaron to do this.

He wanted _Aaron, specifically,_ to be the one to do this.

And he couldn’t deny the gravity of that sentiment for much longer.

The feel of Aaron’s thumps between his arse cheeks pulled him from his thoughts – gentle pressure against his rim before he felt the scratch of his lover’s beard against his skin, and the warm, wet, gentle swipe of Aaron’s tongue around his hole.

“Fuck,” he flinched – sensation of it completely unfamiliar but exhilarating all at the same time – and he felt the vibrations of Aaron’s muttered and incoherent response all the way along his tongue.

Robert clenched the bed sheets in front of him with his fists, shoulders tensed up as he felt Aaron’s tongue dancing teasing circles around his rim, thumb applying pressure there still like he knew exactly what he was doing.

Robert wasn’t used to this – hadn’t done this before with anybody – and he’d never understood the appeal of it until now; until he found himself rocking his hips slightly, back and forth on his bent knees, pulsing closer to Aaron’s tongue as it teased him.

He felt the tension dropping from his shoulders as he succumbed to it, his balled fists in the sheets flattening out now, grabbing on only to try and ground him as his head starting spinning with the pleasure of Aaron’s tongue as he felt him breach past the rim and push inside.

“Aaron, fuck,” he cried out, oblivious to his surroundings and the possibility of anybody actually being able to hear them through the walls of his hotel room. “Fuck, that’s…fuck…amazing,” he continued, words staring to fail him as his body responded to the assault of pleasure Aaron was committing to him.

He revelled in the sensation of it as Aaron continued to tease him and take him to the brink, and he knew he was getting close – knew if he gave in and reached down to tug himself as Aaron did this to him that he’d be spilling over the sheets within seconds – but he knew Aaron had so much more to give to him; knew there was one thing he needed Aaron to take and knew how to make him get there.

“I’m close,” Robert whispered out – only half a lie to try and get Aaron where he wanted him – and it worked as Aaron pulled away immediately.

Robert felt the wet heat of Aaron’s filthy tongue trailing all the way down his spine and up to his neck as Aaron leant back over him, shivering with the sensation of it as he turned his neck to catch Aaron’s lips in a searing kiss, tasting heady and bitter and unfamiliar for once.

Aaron’s hands trailed up his waist and the sides of his torso, and then he was using those muscular biceps to flip Robert over to lie on his back.

Robert looked up at him and laughed, Aaron returning the smile with a look in his eye that made Robert’s chest constrict involuntarily.

 “You like being in charge then?” Robert purred, smirking as they shuffled themselves into position – Aaron leaning over Robert to catch his lips in a bruising kiss as he settled his knees between Robert’s inviting legs.

Robert pulled his hands up to hold Aaron’s face as they kissed, fingers tickling the hairs on the nape of Aaron’s neck as Aaron supported his weight on his palms either side of Robert’s head.

Aaron pulled away from the kiss to answer him, lips still touching as the words left his mouth.

“It has its perks, boss,” he purred, the corners of his lips twitching up as he saw the look in Robert’s eyes.

Robert leant up for another kiss but Aaron pulled away to sit up on his knees – acutely aware of the way it made Robert whine for him; at the way he’d been denied a kiss he was so sure he was getting.

Aaron smirked.

Robert pouted.

Aaron had plans that would make up for it, anyway.

He reached for the lube on the bed next to them, coating his fingers in it as he held Robert’s gaze, trailing his hand down to the heat between Robert’s thighs as he leant in and kissed him.

He pushed one finger up inside of him – gently, to begin with – and felt Robert’s body shift up the bed slightly as he took it, moans leaking into Aaron’s mouth as he opened his lips to slide his tongue in and deepen the kiss.

He worked a slow rhythm, exploring inside of Robert, searching for that spot that would send him wild. He pushed another finger in alongside – felt Robert’s hands trailing through his hair as his hips jolted up with the stretch of his muscle – and he grunted as he felt Robert pull on his hair slightly.

As if in apology, Robert brought his hand forwards and trailed it down Aaron’s chest – fingertips bushing against sweat-slicked skin – and circled his slender fingers around Aaron’s length before teasing him into stuttered motion; eliciting a groan of pleasure from the brunet hovering above him.

Aaron opened his eyes – hadn’t even realised the sensation of Robert’s hands on him had sent his eyelids fluttering shut – and found Robert staring straight back up at him, a desperation in his eyes that he recognised too well.

“Fuck me,” Robert begged him, head bobbing with the gentle notion of Aaron’s fingers circling inside of him.

Aaron didn’t need telling twice.

He picked up the pace with his fingers, fucking into him as he’d wanted, stretching him open with every push and every pull to prepare him, fingers grazing so close to his prostate that his head started to spin with it.

Robert picked up his pace in return as he tugged at Aaron’s leaking cock, before leaning over to grab a condom from the bed side table and tearing it open between his teeth before rolling it over Aaron’s impressive length.

“You ready?” Aaron asked him, a hint of concern in his eyes as he grabbed down for the lube again and coated himself in it.

“Can you stop being so soft and just fuck me til I can’t remember my own name?” Robert replied with a smile on his lips and a hunger in his eyes that told Aaron he meant every word.

“As you wish,” Aaron smirked back as he lined himself up with Robert’s puckered hole. “Just breathe through it, and the stinging won’t last,” he winked as he pushed himself in.

Robert winced with it as he lay back and watched Aaron above him, arms that had been stroking up and down Aaron’s biceps now stalling and grabbing on for support as he felt himself fill up with Aaron, fingers leaving white marks against Aaron’s skin with the force of it.

Aaron let the first few pulses of his hips run smooth and slow to get Robert used to it – to the feel of his length inside of him – and worked his hands on Robert’s cock to keep him hard through the pain of it.

He watched Robert’s expression intently, the way he winced to begin with – eyes narrowed and teeth gritting – until he was softening slightly, pleasure taking over with each new thrust of Aaron inside of him, and Aaron smiled with it, taking each flinch of his expression and each groan escaping his lips as a closer step towards the orgasm he couldn’t wait to rip from him.

“Good?” he asked, encouraged when Robert looked up and nodded back at him.

“Really fucking good,” Robert replied, breathless.

It was all the encouragement Aaron needed.

He stripped at Robert’s cock, letting his hands work even faster as he matched the increased rhythm with his hips, fucking into Robert with a renewed force that made the blond groan and beg and reel off a list of expletives in appreciation for the way that Aaron’s body was worshipping him.

Aaron felt himself closing in, the tightness of Robert’s hole making his eyes roll into the back of his head as he listened to the slap of skin against skin as he fucked into Robert.

He wasn’t sure sex had ever felt this good.

“ ‘m close,” Robert breathed out, body writhing around beneath Aaron, hips circling to match Aaron’s ministrations, making sure every thrust pushed him closer and closer to oblivion.

He felt some wholly unfamiliar pleasure ride over him – Aaron’s cock grazing against that sweet spot inside of him – and it made his body jerk into submission, calling out Aaron’s name as his orgasm ripped through him, the white hot heat of it spilling from his cock and over his stomach and Aaron’s hand, and he lost the ability to form words for a minute as his head spun with the intensity of what Aaron had just done to him, and what Aaron had just made him feel, and what Aaron was still doing to him as he continued to thrust into him.

As if his thoughts summoned it, Aaron was groaning out seconds later – calling Robert’s name on a loop as he did so – pressing his hips as far forwards as he could make them to allow him to bury himself as deep inside of Robert as possible when he came.

Aaron fucked him through the aftershocks of it, before collapsing down on top of Robert, nestling his face into the crook of his neck.

They both lay there for a few moments, silent save for the sound of their breathing returning back to normal.

“What the fuck?” Robert laughed after he’d recaptured the ability to function.

Aaron peeled himself away from Robert’s body, kissing at Robert’s lips before he shuffled back to pull his now-limp dick from Robert, tying up the condom as he snapped it off, and rolling over to lie by Robert’s side.

“As good as you expected?” Aaron asked, glancing up at Robert from the side of his eyes, lips turned into a playful smirk.

Robert smiled, looking up to the ceiling as he let his hands drop into the space on the bed between them, finding Aaron’s hand lying there and interlinking their fingers together casually.

“A million times better than I’d ever thought possible,” Robert replied, squeezing Aaron’s hand as he said it.

 

-s-

A few hours later they were four times fucked out and in that blissful haze of loose limbs and looser lips; legs still tangled up in one another; naked skin beneath fresh cotton sheets as they lay side by side, heads propped up on elbows above scattered pillows.

Aaron turned to his side – let his eyes take in the intricacies of Robert’s face before him – the freckles and the blue-grey eyes that watched him back, and the way his lips looked soft and perfectly kissable.

So he leant forwards and kissed them – slow and languid, without expectation of it leading anywhere, but just because he wanted nothing more than to feel the sensation of Robert’s lips pressed up against his own.

He smiled as he pulled away, eyes lighting up as he saw Robert mirroring his expression.

He was losing the will to ignore the way his chest constricted as something blossomed inside of him at the way Robert looked back at him. He was losing the ability to pretend this was nothing more than a physical and casual hook-up for him. He was losing the constant battle with himself to lock his feelings away and ignore them, keeping them separate from the excitement he felt in Robert’s presence.

He so desperately wanted to know if Robert felt the same.

Because – if he really let himself get carried away with it – it kind of felt like he really did.

But he knew that was too big an assumption to even entertain making.

“Tonight’s been nice,” Robert smiled as he felt the need to punctuate the silence between them.

Aaron frowned as he looked up at him.

“Nice?” he questioned, unimpressed.

He could think of a few thousand ways to describe what just happened between them, and he was pretty sure _nice_ was distinctly midway up the list.

Robert laughed, and Aaron couldn’t ignore the way his insides thrummed with something he was starting to recognise, at the sight of it; at the way Robert’s eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled so genuinely.

“Better than nice, then,” Robert teased with a smirk on his face, bringing his hand up to trace patterns down Aaron’s biceps with his fingertips.

“What a glowing review,” Aaron smirked back sarcastically. “I’ll be sure to let my PR team know I’m ‘better than nice’ in bed, eh?”

Robert laughed again as he shoved playfully against Aaron’s shoulder – the kind of laugh that felt _warm_ and _comforting_ to Aaron’s ears as he smiled back at the man he was quickly becoming more than besotted with.

“What do you want me to say, then?” Robert questioned back flirtatiously as he shuffled further towards Aaron in the bed, until he could feel his body heat radiating against his own. “You want me to go all out cheese on you and tell you that you might have been the best shag of my life?” he added jokingly.

Aaron felt the blush creep up in his cheeks as he averted his gaze from Robert for a moment.

“You don’t need to lie,” Aaron let out light-heartedly with a smile on his face as he rolled over onto his back.

Robert let his words linger in the air for a moment, feeling a pull in his chest at the way Aaron had been so quick to put himself down. He’d been joking initially, but now that he’d let himself consider it, he was pretty sure there was a great deal of truth behind it.

He wasn’t sure what it was about being in this room with Aaron – hidden away from prying eyes and other responsibilities – but it was making him want to throw caution to the wind, and to indulge himself in the whimsical thoughts he’d pushed down into the recesses of his mind for the past few months.

He felt the need to be honest with himself, if only for a fleeting second.

He felt the need to put that smile back on Aaron’s face even more so, though.

He knew the two things really went hand in hand.

“Who said I was lying?” he questioned, voice soft and almost at a whisper, as he followed up his question by leaning over to claim another kiss from Aaron’s pliant lips.

There was a sincerity in Robert’s tone that Aaron couldn’t ignore, even if this whole situation should have been making alarm bells ring through his entire body.

He didn’t want to ignore it – not any more.

Robert leant back in and brushed his lips against Aaron’s once more, as if he was trying to tell him something he didn’t quite have the words for.

Aaron reached up to card his fingers through the short hairs at the back of Robert’s head, pulling him closer as he did so as he let himself get lost in the sensation of Robert’s kiss.

Robert seemed just as lost in it as he rolled himself over onto Aaron – legs parting instinctively to let him nestle into that space between them that he seemed to fit so well – and Aaron felt Robert’s cock thickening up against his hipbone as he pulled away and laughed; Robert dizzy in the sensation as he tried to deepen the kiss to no avail.

“Jesus, how much energy have you got?” Aaron teased, laughing as he interlinked his fingers behind Robert’s neck and looked up at him. “I don’t think I can go again, Rob.”

It earnt him a laugh in reply as he stared up into Robert’s eyes.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he admitted brazenly as he dipped back in for another kiss, before rolling back off Aaron’s warm, naked body and settling into the space on his side of the bed, legs resting up against Aaron’s as he lay beside him.

Aaron sighed, realising that what was probably some empty, flirtatious remark from Robert was in fact exactly what Aaron was feeling in the pit of his stomach every time Robert so much as glanced in his direction.

Robert reached over to grab his phone – discarded thoughtlessly on his bedside table earlier in the evening – and clicked the screen to check the time.

Aaron glanced over to see for himself – it was nearing four am – but they both flinched at the sight of a message from Chrissie on Robert’s lock screen.

_Saw you in your interview. I hope that player is okay who got injured. Love you. Night xxx_

Robert swiped the message off the screen, but glanced across at Aaron instinctively, aware that he’d read the message over his shoulder despite Aaron trying to avert his gaze when Robert looked down at him.

“Sorry,” Robert offered genuinely, an unfamiliar guilt coursing through him that made him say the word with meaning for what may have been the first time in his life.

He didn’t want to acknowledge the dawning realisation that the guilt – something wholly unfamiliar to him throughout every one of his previous indiscretions – might have existed for _Aaron_ instead of for _Chrissie._

That he felt like he needed to apologise to Aaron for Chrissie’s existence in his life, and not the other way around.

That she was back at home waiting for him, when all he really wanted was Aaron.

“Doesn’t she have a clue?” Robert heard Aaron ask from beside him, almost so quiet he couldn’t hear it, a clear hesitation and uncertainty in Aaron’s question that told Robert he wasn’t even sure he was allowed to ask it.

“Why would she?” Robert answered him, monotone, as if he wasn’t the one in the wrong here.

Aaron shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in the bed beside Robert, moving slightly away from him under the covers.

“Well, I’m guessing I’m not the first,” Aaron let out in a resigned tone that punched into Robert’s chest.

Robert looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, and Aaron couldn’t help but breathe out a soft laugh.

“Okay, clearly the first for _that_ ,” he blushed, reliving what Robert had let him do to him earlier in the night. “But, you’ve clearly been with…other guys.”

Robert raised his eyebrow even further, before breaking into a laugh.

“Well, you seem to know what you’re doing!” Aaron retorted defensively but with a knowing glint in his eye.

Robert smiled back, before shrugging and putting his phone back down on the side.

He felt like he wanted to give Aaron his full attention, and it wasn’t like Chrissie was going to read a reply to her text at this time of night.

“Not the first,” Robert explained with a sigh, before locking eyes with Aaron across their pillows. “But the first that’s become…a _thing._ ”

Aaron frowned back at him.

“A thing?”

“A thing,” Robert confirmed, matter of fact. “Like, more than a one off.”

Aaron nodded with that as he swallowed down.

“Oh, okay,” he muttered under his breath, trying to appear nonchalant about the fact that Robert had told him something that made his heart set on fire with the inkling of hope that it brought with it.

“I’m not in the habit of doing this, Aaron,” Robert explained to him, and Aaron almost stopped him – almost told Robert he didn’t need to explain himself to him – but he was taken over by the need to hear where Robert was going, so he let him continue.

“I’ve cheated before, yes,” he continued with a sigh, as if he was ashamed of himself but unable to admit that. “Men, women, whenever the urge takes me. But, it’s never been like this, Aaron. I’ve never felt like…like…”

He let the words linger in the air between them until Aaron convinced himself the sentence wasn’t getting finished.

“Like what?” he broke the silence, desperate for Robert to tell him.

Robert sighed, and shifted onto his side to look Aaron square in the eye.

“Like I couldn’t give you up if I tried.”

Aaron watched Robert’s expression as the words left his lips – saw that there was a frighteningly genuine truth to his admission – and he felt his whole body dissolve into the sheets beneath him.

He only realised he’d forgotten to take a breath when his chest started to hurt, and he took a deep inhale as he refused to break his eye contact with the man lying beside him, all but admitting to catching the same kind of feelings he was struggling to suppress.

“Same here,” he whispered back to him, the words having left him before he’d had the chance to stop himself.

He saw his admission have the same effect on Robert as he’d experienced seconds earlier.

He was close enough to notice the tiny flicker of a smile in the corner of Robert’s mouth, and he returned it just as discreetly.

“So don’t,” Robert pleaded as he shifted his head towards Aaron’s on the pillows, until their noses almost rubbed together.

“Don’t what?” Aaron questioned, bottom lip grazing against his teeth as he felt the room spin around him; Robert’s eyes staring back at him the only constant.

“Don’t give me up,” Robert breathed onto Aaron’s lips as he closed the space between them, kissing him with a tenderness that felt so foreign to him, and yet in that moment, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....let me know what you think!!
> 
> I hope the next update will be a little quicker, but I do have my big bang fic to get finished and I go on holiday in 4 weeks but I'm hoping to update again before I go.
> 
> Come say Hi on tumblr if you want to - wellyfullofale


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off - WOW! I was so overwhelmingly floored by your feedback to the last chapter - honestly, totally speechless, so THANK YOU so so much. You are literally all the best, and your feedback is genuinely what keeps me going with this fic, I probably wouldn't still be here without it tbh!  
> On the flip side - I feel like this update is just gonna disappoint off the back of last chapter! So I threw a load of smut in for you to try and make it better lol. It skips forward a little and covers just less than a month or so.  
> Special thanks for Mia on tumblr for her suggestion which i finally managed to wrangle in to this chapter, and also to Vic my love for some...ermm...advice on...logistics ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 14**

They woke up that next morning to a loud knock on the door – naked limbs entangled as if they’d gravitated together during their three hours of sleep – and they both froze in panic when they heard a key in the door and the handle being pushed down.

“Housekeeping!” the small, quiet voice called through the slight gap in the door as the maid pushed it open only an inch.

They stared at each other, speechless and panicked, wide-eyed and rigid as they grabbed at the hotel sheets to cover their modesty.

“No!” Aaron called out, unsure how else you should warn hotel staff that they should probably shut the door and walk away unless they wanted to make things incredibly awkward.

They heard the door shut closed, and Aaron jumped up out of bed to check down the hallway of the room to make sure she had in fact closed the door on her way _out_ and not her way _in._

He turned back to Robert and exhaled with relief, smiling only when he saw the panic drain from Robert’s face as he also breathed out a sigh that quickly turned into a laugh.

“It’s not like she’d have known who we were, anyway,” Robert reasoned with himself after they’d allowed themselves to get over the panic.

Aaron jumped back into the bed as Robert stretched and leant over him to check the time on his phone.

Aaron laughed – still prickling with relief – and then fell into Robert’s kiss as he beckoned him forwards.

“We’ve got three hours until the coach leaves for the airport,” Robert said, words barely audible between the soft, gentle kisses he placed against Aaron’s lips.

Aaron pulled away, resting his head against the pillow and looking at Robert across the bed as he mirrored him.

“You know Adam will wanna come hang out with me in here before then,” he replied eventually, smiling as soon as he saw the pout on Robert’s face.

“Can’t you tell him to do one?” he pleaded.

“Without him getting suspicious? No.”

Robert sighed, rolling onto his back.

“I don’t wanna get out of this bed,” he admitted as he let his hand tickle absentmindedly over Aaron’s forearm as it lay in the bed next to him.

Aaron swallowed down past the lump in his throat, almost in disbelief that Robert would admit to that so openly, feeling a wave of some emotion he wasn’t ready to label rushing through his veins.

“Me neither,” Aaron whispered.

They lay side by side in their silence for a few minutes, each of them just wanting to absorb this blissful moment in each other’s company; minds racing with the memories of the night before; bodies feeling the impact by the kiss-bitten skin and the aching muscles and the stinging stretch and the thrumming excitement coursing through their veins.

Aaron wondered whether life would ever be so good again.

His phone vibrated against the bedside table, and Robert shifted to pass his phone over to him, offering him a whimsical smile as their eyes locked.

Aaron smiled as he read the text, and Robert felt a sharpness in his gut.

“Someone making you smile at this time in the morning? Should I be jealous?” Robert breathed out through a laugh, although Aaron wasn’t completely unaware of the undercurrent of insecurity in there.

He laughed, despite the irony of it being Robert feeling jealous.

It hadn’t even occurred to Aaron that Robert might think he was seeing other people, and he realised from the blond’s last display of jealousy over the tabloid pictures of him in that bar that maybe he could twist the screw a little.

“Yeah, probably,” Aaron smirked as he looked away from his phone and caught Robert’s eye, immediately feeling bad for making Robert believe for half a second that he could be with someone else. “I live with him, too, so you should be really watching your back,” he added with a flick of his eyebrows.

Robert’s whole demeanour shifted with it, visibly relaxing into the pillow.

“Adam?” he asked, just to clarify.

“Yeah,” Aaron smiled back at him. “Of course it’s Adam. It’s not like anyone else bothers texting me,” he added, as if he needed Robert to know there wasn’t anybody else for him; perhaps never would be. “He wants to know if I’m up so he can come over – he’s probably going out of his mind with boredom in a room by himself,” he added affectionately.

“Don’t reply just yet,” Robert purred as he rolled onto his side and trailed a wandering hand across Aaron’s naked torso, fingers dipping up and over the grooves of his relaxed stomach muscles. “He can wait,” he added teasingly, before snaking his hand up and over Aaron’s chest to frame his face, pulling him closer for a lingering kiss.

“What you got planned?” Aaron replied teasingly as he pulled his lips away and held Robert’s gaze; dripping with lust.

“Oh, I think you know,” Robert teased back, leaning in to steal another kiss as his body sparked into life below him.

When he finally made his way to Adam’s room almost two hours later – met with a chorus of questions and complaints about what had taken his best mate so long to come to relieve his boredom – he couldn’t bring himself to regret a single second of it.

 

-s-

 

That first night alone together was imprinted on Aaron’s memory; stored away for safe keeping – nights to never forget. Only, it wasn’t just the physicality of it that lodged itself in Aaron’s memory – although that part had certainly been quite unforgettable – but it was the way that that night had caused something to shift between them; caused them both to accept the inevitability of whatever it was they had between them as an ongoing entity in each other’s lives.

Like they were _together_ , or something; even though they never could be.

Not properly, anyway.

Not in the way Aaron knew he wanted.

He’d realised that by now, and found himself battling with the realisation that he didn’t want to stay away from Robert and that he couldn’t have done so if he tried, alongside the nagging thought in the back of his mind reminding him that Robert would never be his.

That this was _temporary._

That Robert would get bored soon, and go back to his fiancée.

And it wasn’t something that Aaron wanted to accept.

It was something he managed to push down and ignore for the most part, until he found himself alone at the end of each day, wrapped up his duvet.

He much preferred it when he found himself waking up wrapped around Robert’s body, in the rare occasions that it happened.

He wasn’t sure whether it made things worse in the long run, though.

 

-s-

 

They lasted three days after the Munich trip before they couldn’t bear it any longer.

Robert was lying next to Chrissie in bed – listening to the soft sound of her breathing in her sleep as he lay there wide awake, avoiding how his mind was racing with thoughts and emotions that he didn’t want to even contemplate.

He picked up his phone and tapped out his message to Aaron without letting himself think about it too much; without letting himself accept why it was that his body was pulsing with a need that only Aaron could satisfy.

**_Robert:_ ** _I need to see you again._

**_Robert:_ ** _Can I come over?_

He’d given up caring about how desperate he sounded, and Aaron’s reply was almost instant.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Yeah. When?_

He glanced across at Chrissie before typing out his reply.

**_Robert:_ ** _Now?_

**_Aaron:_ ** _Right now? It’s nearly midnight._

He knew Aaron would be surprised, but he also knew Chrissie was a heavy sleeper and that there wasn’t any way she was going to wake.

He knew he could probably get away with it.

So he was going to give it a go, refusing to acknowledge why it was that he was ready to take a bigger risk than he’d ever felt the need to take before.

**_Robert:_ ** _I said I needed to see you. I can’t wait._

He knew it was slightly past the threshold of desperate but he’d given up caring, especially when he knew that Aaron was due to head off on international duty in a couple of days and that he might not get another chance to see him for the next two weeks.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Adam’s here._

Robert groaned out loud at the reply – quickly checking he hadn’t woken Chrissie – before realising he wasn’t going to get cock-blocked by Adam bloody Barton.

**_Robert:_ ** _We’ll have to be quiet then. I’ll wait until he’s in bed?_

Robert carefully pushed himself out of the bed –eyes on Chrissie the whole time – as he waited for the reply. He pulled on his casual clothes and checked his phone again to see nothing still returned, and he pictured Aaron creeping around their house to try and locate Adam’s whereabouts.

He smiled when his phone finally flashed.

**_Aaron:_ ** _No need – he’s already in his room._

Robert smiled, and crept towards the bedroom door as he pulled it open slowly and closed it silently behind him then typed out his reply.

**_Robert:_ ** _I’m leaving now._

**_Aaron:_ ** _You must be desperate ;)_

**_Aaron:_ ** _Text me when you get here._

Robert smiled as he reached the bottom of the stairs, grabbed his car keys, wrote a quick note for Chrissie in case she woke up, and made his way out to the garage.

**_Robert:_ ** _See you in a bit._

He sent it as he turned the key in the ignition and headed for Aaron’s.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later Aaron’s phone buzzed with a message from Robert to say he was outside.

Aaron crept down the stairs, taking a second to rest his ear up against Adam’s bedroom door to check for any signs of movement. He could hear the TV faintly – couldn’t work out if it was an action film or the Lego movie – but he was well aware Adam could barely keep himself awake on the sofa when they tried to watch TV together, so the likelihood of him staying awake whilst watching a film in bed was close to non-existent.

He tip-toed down the stairs, wincing at the creak on the third step from the bottom, vowing to make sure he climbed over that one and reminded Robert to do so on the way back up.

He unbolted the locks as slowly and silently as he could, turning the yale lock and peeling the door open to find Robert stood the other side – wearing his grey joggers, plain white t-shirt and a tight, navy blue zip-up cardigan alongside his mischievous grin.

Robert flicked his left eyebrow as he smirked at his lover stood inside the door in nothing but his plain black boxer shorts.

“Knew this would be worth it,” Robert whispered as he passed over the threshold and went straight for Aaron’s lips, pushing against them as he felt Aaron relent against it willingly, before pulling away with a grin on his face.

“You sure you should be doing this here?” Aaron joked on a whisper, trying to contain his excitement at the thought of what Robert was risking to be here with him; that he’d driven across town in the dead of night to spend time with him; that he’d missed him, and needed to see him so much that he’d have done this.

“I can’t help it,” Robert purred as he leant back in to claim another soft, silent kiss by the front door. “You know this hallway does something to me,” he added with a grin.

Aaron shook his head, before pulling away from the arms Robert had snaked around his waist to make sure the door was closed and locked again before taking Robert’s arm and pulling him towards the stairs.

“Third step’s creaking,” he whispered as Robert followed him, letting go of his arm as he grabbed the bannister and hauled himself up from the second to the fourth step.

Robert followed him, wincing with the pull on his old knee injury, before padding up the stairs behind Aaron and into the room he’d remembered being locked in last time he’d had to sneak around Aaron’s house.

It reminded him briefly that he still needed to talk to his sister.

As soon as Aaron shut the door to his bedroom behind him, any thoughts of his sister quickly evaporated.

Aaron’s lips were on his immediately, and Robert wrapped his arms around him as he felt the younger man push the weight of his body up against the door behind them.

It rattled under the forced of their bodies colliding against it, but Aaron didn’t even flinch as he continued to push his body against Robert’s, clawing at his clothes within seconds, tugging his cardigan off his shoulders and breaking their kiss to pull his t-shirt from over his head.

“How did you get away?” Aaron asked hurriedly, not even giving Robert a chance to answer before he’d got his lips against him again.

“She was asleep,” Robert answered between kisses, hands roaming over Aaron’s body with an urgency he’d never known before.

Aaron groaned at the touch of Robert’s hands over his skin, needing more of that bodily contact as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Robert’s joggers, pulling them down and grabbing a chunk of Robert’s arse as he found the exposed skin.

He pulled from the kiss to smirk at making the discovery that Robert Sugden went commando.

Robert laughed back – immediately aware of what was making Aaron smile so playfully – and letting his hands trail up Aaron’s sides and around his back, flat palms against his shoulder blades as he pulled Aaron back towards him, skin against skin as their bodies touched.

He could feel Aaron’s length thickening up against his own, his lovers thin boxers the only barrier between them and it made his knees feel weak all of a sudden; the unmistakeable touch of Aaron’s dick rubbing up against his own making his eyes roll into the back of his head.

Aaron pulled from his lips, peppering kisses down his jawline and to his earlobe, sending a shiver through him that only worsened when his lips moved down that line from his ear to the dip of his neck; Robert laughing and leaning his head in towards Aaron’s touch as his body sparked at the sensation of it.

He groaned – louder than he should have – and Aaron pulled his lips away immediately to shush him; the pair of them unable to hide their laughter through the excitement and the risk of it all.

“Your fault,” Robert chastised him with a beaming smile, before Aaron put his wet lips back on soft skin and his eyes rolled into the back of his head again.

Aaron moved south – kisses trailing from his neck, over his collarbone, down his chest and along the feint indented line down the middle of Robert’s stomach, skin tasting of expensive shower gel.

“It’s a good job Adam sleeps through anything,” Aaron murmured, each word punctuated with a kiss down Robert’s body, hands gripping onto Robert’s waist as he got to his knees, smiling into Robert’s skin as he felt the tugs of his fingers through the gel-free curls of Aaron’s hair.

Aaron kissed at the skin around Robert’s torso, teasingly close to where Robert needed him, feeling the ministrations of his hips as he begged for it, his name rebounding out of his loose lips on repeat.

He moved further south, focusing his attention on the tender skin of Robert’s inner thighs, hairs tickling against his lips and his cheeks as he moved upwards, letting his tongue dark out and lick a strip up his thigh, then letting it carry on further as he carried on up the ridge of his swollen cock, seeping already with the need for Aaron’s mouth.

Aaron flinched as Robert flung his head back and banged it against the door, tutting as he whispered a “ _Be careful”_ into Robert’s skin.

He couldn’t let himself wait for it though.

Robert’s hands were tugging at his hair as his hips pulsed forwards – desperate, begging, needing Aaron’s mouth on him – and he was hardly in a position to deny it, his own tongue salivating with the need to taste Robert.

He took Robert’s thick length in his hands, working him slowly until he couldn’t wait any longer – until the glistening bead of pre-cum seeping from him needed dealing with – and he let his tongue travel over the whole length of him before wrapping his lips around the tip and slowing down the rhythm of his hands to let himself work up and down with his mouth.

He heard Robert groan a little too loudly, and he squeezed at the older man’s waist with his free hand to try and quieten him down, all too aware of his best mate in the room down the corridor.

He let himself get lost in it – in the rhythm of his hands and his mouth over Robert’s cock, in the sound of Robert’s whimpered, supressed moans filling the air around them, in the taste of salt and something else distinctive on his tongue.

He felt Robert’s knees weakening below him – could feel the tremble against his free hand as he moved it around to grip at the back of Robert’s thick thighs – and the movement of his hips as the jutted forwards told Aaron his lover was close.

But Aaron didn’t want that.

He had other plans.

He pulled away from Robert’s body, the pop of his lips as they pulled free of his cock seeming to echo around the room, mixed in with the groan of pure frustration that fell from Robert’s lips.

“Aaron, please,” Robert begged as Aaron got to his feet, before shutting him up with a searing kiss against his lips; all teeth and tongues and tasting.

Aaron pulled at his elbows, dragging him backwards towards the bed, and within seconds Robert had stopped protesting and was pushing back against him, suddenly aware of Aaron’s intentions and all too willing to give in to him.

He loved this side to Aaron – this version that was in control and demanding; so aware of what he wanted and how he was going to get it.

Wait.

What he really meant was – he really _liked_ this side to Aaron.

He had to correct himself.

That word was starting to get used far too colloquially for Robert, these days.

He shoved the thought to one side as he let Aaron pull him onto the bed, until he was resting in the space between Aaron’s thighs, his own naked body rubbing up against Aaron’s as his tongue dipped back in between his lovers lips amidst the slight laugh that Aaron was letting out.

“Get these boxers off,” Robert smirked as he pulled away from the kiss.

Aaron smiled back at him, shuffling up the bed as Robert pulled at the black material and set Aaron’s cock springing free as he leant over to grab the condoms and lube from his bedside chest.

“You want me inside you again?” Aaron asked, one eyebrow raised as he held Robert’s gaze, saw the exact moment Robert’s memory took him back to that night back in Munich and how good it had felt, and he followed it up with a smile that told Aaron precisely what he needed to know.

“Come here, then,” Aaron pleaded, propping himself up on the pillows at the top of the bed as Robert climbed over him, straddling his thighs as he leant forwards and kissed him, pulling on his bottom lip between his lips as he pulled away.

Aaron laughed into it, before his whole expression darkened when Robert took a hand to his dick and started to strip away at it furiously.

“Fuck,” he breathed out as he held Robert’s gaze, desperate for more of as he felt himself coming apart all too quickly.

He leant forwards instinctively and wrapped a hand around Robert’s length, working him with a rhythm in perfect synchronicity with the way Robert’s hand moved up and down his own dick, and he leant up to push his lips against Robert’s as they jerked each other off hurriedly on the bed.

He couldn’t help the groans escaping him as he tried to suppress the sound of them in the kiss he stole from Robert’s lips, but he found himself losing the ability to care about getting caught.

He took his free hand and grabbed at the lube that lay beside them, and pulled his hands off Robert’s body as he popped the lid and smeared a generous helping over his fingers.

“Move up,” he demanded, Robert obliging immediately and understanding his intentions precisely.

Robert’s body sparked into life as Aaron stroked a finger backwards from his balls, along the sensitive skin of his perineum and over the rim of his hole.

He didn’t hang about – far too desperate to feel the warmth of Robert’s hole encapsulating him – and he pushed a finger inside and worked in and out as he watched the way Robert’s body responded to it, eyes rolling back into his head as he lost the ability to do anything but hold himself up on his thighs and ride himself down onto Aaron’s fingers.

Aaron needed more – and he was pretty sure Robert did too – so he worked his way up, two fingers and then a third slotting up inside, stretching Robert open until he was ready for him, until he was pulsing up and down and fucking himself on Aaron’s fingers with a desperation and a hunger in his eyes that Aaron assumed was mirrored back at him from his own expression, judging by the smile on Robert’s face.

Robert grabbed at the condom flung inside the bedsheets, tearing it open as Aaron relented slightly, slowing down the assault of his fingers and then pulling himself from Robert’s heat as his bosses nimble fingers rolled the condom over Aaron’s cock, before shuffling up with his knees and positioning himself in line with where Aaron needed him.

Aaron took the lube and slicked up his cock, spreading the excess over Robert’s hole as he leant down to kiss at his neck, almost making him lose concentration if he’d needed any; realising this felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Aaron pushed at Robert’s chest until he was sat upright, straddling Aaron’s hips.

“You ready?” Aaron asked.

“Just fuck me,” Robert begged of him, and Aaron guided his hips and lined himself up until Robert could feel the tip of his dick pushing against his rim.

“Lower yourself down and – ”

Robert didn’t need telling twice; didn’t need any further guidance.

He pushed himself down, taking Aaron’s full length by the second push, and he whimpered with the feeling of fullness that came along with it.

He wanted to call out loud; scream Aaron’s name and beg him never to stop; blissful pain of that stretch just overwhelmingly good; too good a feeling to ever let go of.

He looked down at Aaron, saw the way he looked back up at him with a softness in his eyes that would have scared Robert, had he not been desperate for something to cling onto, to let himself believe that he wasn’t alone in all this.

He felt Aaron push up into him, and he let himself grind down against it, delirious with the feel of Aaron’s hip bone against his inner thighs, with the hands against his chest as he rode him.

He picked up the pace, feeling the push of Aaron’s dick against his prostate with each in-and-out of his throbbing cock.

It was instinct when he grabbed at his own length, desperate for release himself, only to find Aaron’s hands batting him out of the way as he took his dick in his hands and stripped at it vigorously.

Robert felt his orgasm rippling up inside of him, angling himself on Aaron’s dick just slightly until that push against his prostate was too much, and he found himself spilling out over Aaron’s chest in waves, pulsing white hot liquid from his spent cock as he felt Aaron continuing to fuck up into him.

He dropped forward, muffling his groans against the soft skin of Aaron’s shoulder as he placed kisses against his skin, Aaron’s name on repeat between expletives as they fell from his lips in a hot mess of emotion.

Seconds later Aaron was trying to suppress his own moan as he came inside of Robert, jutting his hips up as he rode through the aftershocks of it, eyes blurring out of focus with Robert’s name on his lips as he grasped for the air that Robert had just knocked out of him.

 

-s-

 

Aaron’s vision came slowly back into focus, and it was only when he felt the heat of Robert’s body circling around him that he let himself realise that Robert was drifting off to sleep.

He moved to say something – to shove against Robert’s arm and to wake him up; to remind him that he probably needed to leave and get back to his fiancée in his own bed at home – but something inside of him stopped himself, and he gritted his teeth as he glanced around the room, and let himself settle back into Robert’s embrace.

He told himself it wasn’t his fault if he fell asleep in the same way that Robert had done.

He told himself he was doing nothing wrong, and that for all he knew Robert was planning to stay the whole night anyway.

He told himself it was probably fine, that he was worrying for no reason.

It was Robert having the affair, after all – he was the one who should be being careful and worrying about where he fell to sleep.

So he shifted in the bed to wrap himself around Robert’s naked body, and he settled into the pillow with the smell of Robert’s expensive shampoo filling his nostrils, and he let himself drift off to sleep.

Except, his body wouldn’t let him make mistakes like that, would it?

He woke up with a start a little later, checking the time on his phone as he did so – four am – and he sighed as he realised he couldn’t sabotage Robert’s relationship for the sake of being able to wake up in his arms again.

He just wasn’t that person, deep down.

So he gave Robert a gentle shove, until he woke with a start and called out something indecipherable.

His face softened as soon as it landed on Aaron’s and he remembered where he was.

“It’s four am,” Aaron informed him through a yawn, fingertips tracing patterns over his chest as he felt Robert stretch in the bed next to him.

“And?” Robert replied after a pause, his eyes drooping closed.

Aaron frowned, eyes watching Robert as his body moved peacefully with the movement of his chest taking gentle breaths.

“Don’t you need to go?” Aaron asked, despite his body wanting to deny the chance of that happening.

He watched as Robert raised his eyebrows.

“Do you want me to go?” he replied softly, smiling as he turned towards Aaron on the pillow.

“Course not,” Aaron replied, matter of fact and with no hint of hesitation.

“Then I’m staying,” Robert confirmed, as casually as he could, as if he hadn’t got a fiancée asleep in his own bed at home who might be wondering where he was.

He nestled his head into Aaron’s side to try and get himself back to sleep, and Aaron swallowed down past the lump in his throat as he let his arm wrap around Robert and draw his body closer under the covers.

“What about…what about Chrissie?” Aaron stuttered after a heated pause; unsure if he should alter the mood with the mention of her name.

Robert shifted backwards so that he could look Aaron in the eye.  

“I left her a note. She won’t know I’m gone until morning and I’ve told her I’ve gone to the gym before work to clear my head,” he explained before snuggling back down into Aaron’s shoulder.

“So, you’re staying,” Aaron smiled as he let himself believe it.

“I’m staying,” Robert confirmed through a yawn. “I wanted to wake up with you again,” he pecked a kiss against Aaron’s chest. “Just not at four am.”

Aaron breathed out a laugh, before feeling his shoulders relaxing into the sheets below him, ignoring the heat of Robert’s body next to him as he melted even further into Robert’s orbit and let himself succumb to sleep.

This? This, he could get dangerously used to.

 

-s-

 

Four hours later, they were stirring from sleep and waking up together at a much more reasonable time.

Well, that was half true.

Robert was waking up, and he felt a fullness in his chest that he’d never known before as he looked across at Aaron sleeping soundly in the bed next to him.

His eyes were stuck together a little with sleep, and he let himself glide in and out of doziness as he wrapped an arm around Aaron’s back and pulled his body against his own.

He was warm – almost radiating heat in a way that Chrissie never did, and Robert flinched at the appearance of her in his subconscious, forcing himself to push the thought of it away before he found himself ruining the moment of waking up with Aaron.

He nuzzled his nose up against Aaron’s back, placing gentle kisses against his shoulders and the top of his spine until he felt Aaron stirring in the bed, bringing him into some level of consciousness as Robert pulled his body close to his own with a palm splayed across Aaron’s chest.

After a few minutes Aaron shifted, rolling onto his back to let Robert kiss against his shoulder instead, eyes still firmly closed as he straddled somewhere between asleep and awake.

Robert watched him for a few moments; taken in by the gentle movements of his body as he drifted back off to sleep.

He smiled to himself – the kind of genuine, warm smile that felt foreign on his lips.

Aaron really was beautiful, especially first thing in the morning.

He was certainly worth taking the risk for, Robert realised, as he let his eyes travel down over the gentle rise and fall of Aaron’s chest, to where the duvet covered him from just below his belly button, that hint of a treasure trail barely visible but showing Robert precisely where he wanted to go.

He smiled to himself as the idea formed, and he shuffled up onto his knees and pulled at the duvet, bringing it up and over his head as he got up on his knees and positioned himself between Aaron’s legs, gaze unable to avoid clocking the morning glory Aaron was sporting almost proudly as he slept.

He pulled the duvet up to his shoulders, and leant forwards on his hands to lower his lips down onto Aaron’s chest, placing gentle kisses against his warm skin, shifting half an inch lower with each peck until he was where he wanted to be; aware of Aaron’s stirring underneath him as the feel of Robert’s mouth on him brought him out of his slumber.

Robert noticed the slight roll of Aaron’s hips as his body begged for Robert’s touch, even in his dream-riddled state, and Robert took one last look at Aaron as he wavered in and out of sleep before nestling himself underneath the duvet and getting his lips onto Aaron’s length.

He kissed at his cock slowly at first – wanting to wake him with a gentle pleasure – and let his tongue dance in circles over the tip of his now-throbbing cock.

He let his hands squeeze against Aaron’s thick thighs, thumbs able to stroke a whisper against Aaron’s balls as he suckled along the thick ridge of his cock, darting a tongue out to lick him root to tip until he could hear groaning coming from above the covers.

Aaron was waking – Robert could tell by the movement of his hips – and he smiled to himself as he dragged his hand away from Aaron’s thigh to grasp as his cock, working it slowly, before he wrapped his lips around him and took him down slowly.

Robert could feel the gust of air as Aaron lifted up the duvet; could hear the _Jesus Christ_ on Aaron’s lips as he looked up at him, eyes barely open but alive with want all at the same time as they stared back at him, watching as Robert tilted his head and pushed his dick against the wall of his cheek, before pulling his mouth away with a pop of his lips and holding Aaron’s gaze as his cock pleaded for him, anticipating his return seconds later.

Aaron groaned, flinging his head back against the pillow as he brought a hand up to run his fingers through Robert’s hair, letting the duvet drop back over Robert’s head as he bobbed up and down, mouth full and jaw aching as Aaron got close.

Robert realised he’d never tire of the sounds that fell from Aaron’s mouth when his own was full with Aaron’s cock.

His groans were pure, sweet bliss as they picked up in intensity, and Robert knew he was close, knew Aaron would be spilling into the back of his throat with just a few more seconds of work with his hands as they massaged his balls and his mouth as he hollowed out his cheeks and took him root to tip.

His hips were stirring, picking up pace, his name tumbling in a breathy moan from Aaron’s lips, fingers tugging at the short hairs of Robert’s head, until –

A knock at the door, accompanied by a shout of “Dingle, you decent?” and a turning of the door handle seconds later.

Robert heard the _Fuck_ escape Aaron’s mouth as he scrambled up the bed and into a sitting position, dragging the duvet up with him and his cock out of Robert’s mouth as he went.

Robert almost asked him what the hell he was meant to do until he realised they had no time – Adam was coming in, invited or not – so he pulled his feet in from where they’d been hanging off the side of the bed, hiding them under the covers, and he nestled himself into the space between Aaron’s legs as the younger man bent his knees to create a tent with the duvet, and Robert thanked his lucky stars that Aaron had the thickest duvet known to man which might actually be able to conceal his presence from Adam.

“Jeez, it’s hot in here,” Adam scoffed as he walked into the darkened room, unaware of who lay hidden under Aaron’s legs beneath the duvet.

Aaron picked up his phone off the bedside table in an attempt to act natural, glancing down and noticing his clothes and Robert’s strewn around his bedroom floor, although he supposed it wasn’t entirely strange for his room to be a mess, and he had a fleeting moment of thanks for Robert having turned up last night in clothes he could at least pass off as his own.

He wasn’t sure how he’d quite manage to explain away a suit and tie lying on his bedroom floor with any kind of ease.

Adam raised a hand as if to turn the light on.

“Don’t!” Aaron stopped him, voice edged with panic.

They only had a chance of getting away with this if the room stayed partly hidden by the shadows.

Adam laughed, unsure why his best friend was acting so strangely.

“I’ve only just woken up I don’t wanna be blinded,” Aaron added as if by way of explaining his panic.

“You’ve gotta get up, man,” Adam pleaded as he made his way over and perched on the side of Aaron’s bed.

Aaron swallowed, eyes shifting to where Robert would be under the covers, and he shifted himself away from Adam slightly, nudging Robert underneath the duvet.

“We’ve got that interview with Attitude mag before training, remember?” Adam added, completely unaware that they weren’t alone.

Aaron rolled his eyes and groaned; he had forgotten the interview.

It was his idea of torture, but he’d agreed to it a few weeks ago because they’d been more persistent than the others, and he’d just wanted them to stop sending the constant emails. For some reason he’d become a role model after his coming out, and the press seemed to have some weird obsession with his and Adam’s friendship, so they’d agreed to a short, half-hour interview and a photoshoot at home later in the week.

They were going to pitch it as a mock up of some OK magazine couple shoot, or something.

Aaron didn’t get it.

It wasn’t like a straight man and a gay man being best friends and house mates was all that strange or interesting, was it?

“Yeah, fucks sake,” Aaron sighed as he rubbed at his face with his hands.

He flinched then as he felt the tickle of Robert’s finger against his inner thigh.

Fuck.

What was he doing?

“You gonna get your arse out of bed, then?” Adam asked, taking his own phone out of his pocket to check the time.

Aaron’s heart leapt into his throat as Robert’s finger continued to trace circles on the inside of his thighs, dangerously close to the sensitive skin of his balls.

He shifted in the bed to pull himself away from Robert’s touch, but he’d unwillingly managed to shift so that Robert’s mouth became nestled into the precise area he’d been devouring before Adam had walked in, and he had to restrain himself from jolting in the bed as he felt Robert’s tongue trail lightly over the top of his balls and the root of his cock.

“Yeah, piss off then,” Aaron replied to Adam hurriedly, shoving at his shoulder to push him off the bed.

Adam frowned back at him as he got to his feet and stayed standing at the side of the bed, waiting.

“Little bit naked under here,” Aaron muttered by way of an explanation as to why he wasn’t moving.

His voice quivered as Robert’s tongue repeated itself.

Adam let out his cackle of a laugh, raising his eyebrows and wiggling them suggestively as he made his way towards the door.

“Nothing I ain’t seen before, man,” Adam smirked as he made it to the doorway. “It’s nearly half 8 though so you better be up and ready for when the car gets here in a bit. I’m just heading out for some milk, get a move on.”

“Yeah, fine,” Aaron agreed, heart beat racing as he watched Adam retreat away. “Shut the door!” he called out as Adam went to head down the stairs.

“Alright, grumpy!” Adam shouted back playfully as he pulled the door closed behind him.

They listened to the sound of him jogging down the stairs and out of the front door, before Aaron pulled up the duvet covers to find Robert staring back at him, all wide-eyed and mischievous.

“You’re fucking unbelievable!” Aaron whispered forcefully as Robert appeared from under the covers.

Robert did nothing but laugh, whipping the hot duvet off his body and gasping for a little of the air in the room.

“Fuck, that was close, Robert,” Aaron exhaled sharply as he felt his heart rate returning back to normal. “He could have caught us.”

“Did he have no idea?” Robert asked, genuinely curious as to how they’d managed to get away with it.

“No,” Aaron replied, sure of it, aware that Adam would have said something if he’d suspected.  “It’s a good job he didn’t get that light on, though. No way he wouldn’t have noticed something if he had.”

Robert smirked, before bending down and placing sloppy kisses along the length of Aaron’s still-hard dick.

“Fuck, Robert! This didn’t help,” Aaron added as he watched Robert’s eyes light up when he looked back up at him.

“You want me to stop then?” he asked as he pulled his lips away from his pleading cock, smirk glowing all the way up to his eyes as he moved up the bed and hovered above Aaron’s lips.

Aaron breathed out a laugh before swallowing down hard, aware of his pleading cock resting against his stomach, under the weight of Robert’s body.

“Don’t you dare,” he replied, shuffling in the bed with Robert’s thighs between his own, hand coming up to Robert’s head to stroke gently through his hair before pushing down a little against him; intentions clear.

“Oh, right,” Robert teased at the act of impatience. “Know what you want, don’t you,” he smiled.

“Get to it, then,” Aaron ordered shamelessly.

He saw something darken behind Robert’s eyes – lust, and need, and a hunger he more than recognised – before his lips were back against his torso, trailing down to suckle at the tender skin of his thighs.

Aaron’s cock was throbbing – physically aching for Robert’s mouth to get back on him as he rocked his hips up into Robert’s touch, ignoring the gentle laughter from Robert’s lips over his skin, enjoying the teasing more than Aaron could admit to.

He’d been on the edge when Adam had walked in; had been so close to tipping over but unable to bring himself to do it whilst looking his best mate in the eye, and now Robert was making him pay for it.

He felt Robert’s nose brush up and down his cock as he got close, and he rolled his body into Robert’s touch.

He tried to make him wait – teased him for a few minutes with gentle kisses in the vicinity of where Aaron clearly needed him – but Robert wouldn’t admit that he needed to taste Aaron in his mouth just as much as Aaron needed to be inside it, and he gave in moments later as he took Aaron from root to tip; mouth so full; tip of  his cock pushing at the back of his throat and he felt his reflex about to kick in until he slid his lips back over the velvet-smooth skin of Aaron’s cock, groaning at the sound of the pop of his own lips as they reached his head, salty taste of pre-cum tingling against his tongue as he dipped back in.

He could hear Aaron attempting to call out his name in the midst of his delirium; could feel the writhing of his hips drawing up in intensity; could feel the pull of Aaron’s fingers as they grasped at his hair, and he knew he was close.

His lips were back on him, half way to oblivion again when he felt the warm rush of cum hit the back of his throat; the sound of his own name echoing off the walls as Aaron’s orgasm ripped through him, a pulling sensation in his chest that he might have aligned with true happiness if he could ever even consider that a possibility.

He swallowed it all down – taste so distinctly _Aaron_ in a way he was getting so used to – and took his hand down to pull at his own throbbing dick as he pulled away from Aaron’s; watching the younger man staring up at him wantonly as he sat up on his knees between his lover’s thighs and pulled at his own cock, desperate for release.

Aaron’s chest was heaving, up and down with the recovery of what Robert had just done to him, eyes travelling a path around Robert’s body as the smile formed on his face.

That look in his eye.

 _That_ look.

Robert was sure he recognised it – sure he knew exactly what it meant – and the realisation of the mutuality of it all send a shiver through him and pulled the orgasm from his body; sending streaks of white hot heat all over Aaron’s naked torso.

He collapsed against Aaron’s body; spent.

He felt the trickle of Aaron’s fingers up and down his back moments later, and the goose bumps appearing over his skin without invitation.

He couldn’t even let himself deny any more that he was getting in too deep.

He could almost feel himself accepting he was past the point of no return.

And a slight panic rose up inside of him as he realised what that might mean.

He let himself recover – let himself take the time to get his breath back to normal and his cock to stop twitching with it – and he rolled himself off Aaron’s inviting body to lie in the oversized bed beside him.

He could feel the tinglings of panic rise inside him.

He could feel the memories of the previous night flowing through him; realising he’d left his fiancée in the middle of the night to come over here and spend the night with Aaron; that he’d been so desperate for this man beside him that he’d risked everything to be with him.

He knew what it meant, and it scared him.

What he was willing to do for Aaron; to be with Aaron – it scared him the lengths he would go.

And he was just about to let himself get lost in the panic of it all, when Aaron spoke and gave him something else to worry about.

“Will you miss me then?” he asked.

His words were quiet, and a little unsure of themselves – like Aaron was trying to flirt but needed to know the answer anyway.

Robert frowned, turning his head to the side on the pillow as he looked at Aaron.

“When?” he asked, confused.

“International duty,” Aaron explained, shaking his head like it should have been obvious. “I go in two days, got two England games over the next couple of weeks.”

Of course.

Robert hadn’t forgotten, he was just trying to pretend it wasn’t happening.

Dales United didn’t have a game for a fortnight as the league took a break to let the World Cup qualifiers happen, and it meant he wasn’t going to see Aaron for two weeks whilst he was over in France and Italy with the rest of the England squad.

_Shit._

The _rest_ of the England squad.

Robert had a sinking feeling as he realised what that meant.

Connor Jensen.

Robert didn’t think about him often – hadn’t done so for years – but the thought of Aaron spending time with a guy who’d also shared his bed made his head spin.

And it wasn’t like Connor was just _any_ guy to Robert, either.

He’d been _the first_ guy to Robert.

He couldn’t bear that maybe he’d end up being something else to Aaron, too.

He coughed as if it would mask the panic coursing through him, and shuffled himself up in the bed so that he was leaning back against the plush headboard, dragging the duvet up after him to keep his modesty covered; not like it mattered though, really.

Aaron looked up at him, wide eyed and questioning, and Robert realised he was still waiting for an answer to his original question.

He laughed, tried to mask his unease by making it look genuine, but presumed by the slight change in Aaron’s expression that he’d failed.

“Course I’ll miss you,” Robert smirked. “I’ll have to find someone else’s room to sneak into at one am,” he added with a smile to show he was joking.

Aaron didn’t seem to appreciate it.

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” he muttered under his breath.

Robert sighed, before leaning down and placing his hand under Aaron’s chin, gently guiding his face back in his direction to look him in the eye.

“Not gonna happen, okay?” Robert assured him, genuinely.

It took a second for Aaron to smile back up at him, but he could see it had been appreciated.

“Good job I rested you and that injury’s sorted itself out then?” Robert added, trying to change the topic, more than a little smug at having made the right call.

“Do you ever get bored of being smug and arrogant?” Aaron added playfully.

Robert smiled, shaking his head, and it drew a gentle laugh from Aaron.

Aaron had a nagging doubt circling his mind, though, and he needed to find a way to try and ask about Connor – he didn’t know why, but he _really_ needed to know who they were to one another.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to spend the next two weeks with Connor without knowing whether Robert had spent the night in his bed, saying the things he’d said to Aaron, taking the same risks he’d taken for Aaron over the last few days.

Robert noticed the slight shift in Aaron’s expression as he looked away.

“Yeah, it’ll be good to catch up with the other lads, anyway,” Aaron said on a sigh, attempting to make his point seem unintentional, when it was anything but.

He looked up at Robert to try to gauge his reaction; try to see if the cogs would be turning and making the connection that Aaron hoped they would.

“Yeah?” Robert replied on a sigh as his eyes fixed to the bottom of the bed. “Who…who do you get on with on the squad?”

A smile twitched in the corner of Aaron’s mouth.

“There’s a few of them, we all get on really,” Aaron replied vaguely.

He flinched up to check Robert’s reaction, waiting to see any flicker of recognition in his eyes.

There was nothing – but then, Robert was a master of disguise, wasn’t he?

Aaron thought back to the day all those months ago, when he’d been so unsure of Robert’s intentions towards him and he’d found those pictures of Robert and Connor having a drink together during his google stalk, and that along with his knowledge of Connor’s sexuality had all but confirmed Aaron’s suspicions about Robert.

Now he felt the jealousy teeming through his stomach; the thought that Connor might have been in this exact position, and might have known this kind of dazed, post-coital happiness with Robert; that he wasn’t the first to see this side to Robert Sugden, the man he was quickly losing control over his feelings for.

“Who do you bunk with?” Robert asked, and Aaron found himself grateful for having interrupted his spiralling thought process.

Aaron shrugged, lips curled downwards in that way that was so distinctly Aaron.

“Depends who’s on the squad,” he answered, as casually as he could muster. “Usually Adam but he’s not been called up this time because of that chance he missed last time around, the muppet, so I dunno. Could be Jamie, I’ve shared with him before. Or Connor, maybe.”

Aaron watched Robert’s expression, saw the flicker of his eyelashes and the clench of his jaw at the mention of Connor’s name, and it was all the confirmation he needed.

There was something between them.

Aaron could tell, and his stomach dropped at the thought of it.

“Didn’t you two play together?” Aaron added, couldn’t help himself but dig a little further, found a strange sensation bubbling up inside of him, a hunger and a need to know more.

“What?” Robert asked, attempting to remain casual, unaware Aaron was reading his every move.

“You and Connor,” Aaron explained, keeping his voice as level as he could. “Weren’t you at Hotten Rovers together?”

Robert frowned before shaking his head.

“Years ago,” he added non-committedly; frown still present.  “And only for a few months,” he continued, as if he felt the need to explain himself.

“Do you still speak to him?” Aaron asked, hoping he wasn’t betraying his need to find out whether they were still involved.

He hated the pang of jealousy he felt towards a man he’d spent the best part of his international career not trusting, for various reasons.

“Why would I?” Robert almost snapped back, shrugging off the question.

Aaron shook his head.

“No reason,” he muttered under his breath. “Did you know he’s gay?” he added, posing it as a piece of gossip rather than a question he expected Robert to know the answer to.

He felt Robert shift in the bed next to him.

“What? No!” he replied on a laugh, and Aaron could see him attempting to act in the way anyone usually would when handed a piece of salacious gossip.

“Yep,” Aaron nodded, smiling back at Robert, eyebrows raised.

“Find that out when you were bunked up with him, did you?” Robert asked, and Aaron could sense the bitterness underneath his question, despite the wide smile on his face attempting to mask it.

Aaron smirked, tilting his head to one side as he considered stringing Robert along with a lie.

“What goes on tour…!” he laughed, before clocking Robert’s expression and backtracking. “I’m joking, of course not!”

“Whatever,” Robert replied with a shrug of his shoulders; unamused.

“Honestly, Rob, I was joking,” Aaron added to reassure him, leaning up to place a kiss against his lips.

He had no idea why he felt the need to apologise – Robert was lying here with a fiancée back at home, after all.

If Aaron wanted to bang Connor into next week whilst on international break, he was more than entitled to do so.

It’s just that even the mere thought of doing that across Robert made him feel guilt spiralling in the pit of his stomach.

“He came onto me once,” Aaron added by way of explanation. “I’d never go there. He’s not my type.”

Robert seemed to drop his shoulders somewhat, visibly having some kind of weight lifted from him with the confirmation. He couldn’t even bear to think about how awkward it would have been to share an ex with Aaron.

Robert shifted in the bed, shuffling himself down until he could whip a leg over Aaron’s naked body, pinning him down with his hands on his wrists and a smile on his face.

He felt his mouth water with the look on Aaron’s face – smile reaching wider than he was used to seeing it; perfect white teeth peering through bitten red lips – and he felt himself incapable of resisting the kiss that Aaron leant up for.

“What is your type, then?” Robert purred as he pulled himself away from Aaron’s lips.

Aaron smirked, feeling playful.

“Oh, y’know, dark hair, proper muscly, tattooed, piercings – ”

Robert leant in and claimed another lingering kiss from Aaron’s lips, stopping him mid-sentence.

“I’ll stop doing this then shall I?” he teased; could feel Aaron’s smile against his lips without needing to open his eyes.

“Nope,” Aaron teased back. “Don’t ever stop.”

Mornings waking up together were fast becoming Aaron’s favourite part.

 

-s-

 

Twelve days Aaron was away for.

Robert felt every hour of it; mood worsening with each minute that went by.

He noticed himself detaching away from Chrissie, didn’t want to think about what that meant.

He made a conscious decision to take more of an active role in planning the wedding – partly to fill the hours until Aaron came back, and partly to try and convince himself he was invested in marrying the gorgeous woman he woke up next to (almost) every morning.

He still ached for Aaron when he got into bed each night; still pictured Aaron’s face when he fucked her.

He’d never let himself get this deep before.

It was going to kill him to break this off in a few months’ time, before the wedding.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad; maybe he would have had his fill by the time it comes around.

His chest constricted.

The mere suggestion of it left a sour taste in his mouth and a heaviness in his heart that he wasn’t anywhere near ready to acknowledge.

 

-s-

 

It was the fourth day – and only at the second time of Robert asking – that Aaron locked himself into the bathroom of the room he was sharing with Jamie, fisted at his leaking cock, and snapped a picture of himself in the bathroom mirror to send to Robert.

Well, it was probably about the fourteenth picture he ended up sending to Robert, before quickly deleting every single one from his photo gallery, iCloud, and even the one from the text conversation with Robert.

A part of him wondered whether Robert would get the picture seeing as he deleted it so quickly, but he was left with no uncertainty when Robert’s reply came through.

**_Robert:_ ** _Fucking hell_

**_Robert:_ ** _That’s just made it worse_

**_Robert:_ ** _How long do I have to wait?_

Aaron didn’t reply, instead he clicked on video call and gritted his teeth to try and keep quiet when Robert picked up, pixelated image showing him in his bathroom with a smirk on his face.

Aaron smiled back at him, and they didn’t speak a word to each other as they Aaron continued to tug at his own dick whilst Robert whipped off his t-shirt and pulled down his boxer shorts to follow suit.

The look in Aaron’s eye was all the encouragement Robert needed to grab at his dick and work himself into a frenzy, eyes fixed on Aaron’s body on the too-small screen of his phone, watching the way that Aaron made himself writhe around at his own touch.

He could hear nothing but the heavy breathing of Aaron’s panting down the phone, mixed in with the sound of his own sighs as he found himself nearing the blurred state of delirium that it seemed only Aaron could draw from him.

He bit at his tongue to stop himself from calling out, and he rested his phone up against the back of the sink, leaning against the sink with his free hand as he watched Aaron’s movements on the screen intently.

The silence they both had to maintain was tantalising – as much as he wanted to scream out Aaron’s name and to beg him to come home soon to him – it heightened everything, making it exciting somehow, the idea that they both had to hide away to be able to share this with each other.

It only served to turn Robert on even more.

He watched on as Aaron fucked into his own fist with a growing intensity, and heard the shuddered breath and the attempts to stifle his groan as he came over his fist; Robert watching on as he came in waves, liquid pulsing from his spent cock as he looked into the camera to lock eyes with Robert.

He knew exactly what he was doing – knew Aaron would be staring into the selfie camera of his phone in the knowledge that Robert would be able to lock eyes with him as he did so – and within seconds he felt the pull of his need for Aaron ripple through him as he came in a pained silence over his own fist.

He regained his breath, before looking back up at his phone screen to see Aaron smirking back at him.

He laughed silently, and Aaron mirrored it, before winking into the camera and shutting off the call.

Robert let out a startled kind of laugh in disbelief that Aaron had been so cut-throat with him; acting as if he was only after one thing when he had almost managed to accept whatever they had between them was so much more than that.

His phone buzzed seconds later.

**_Aaron:_ ** _You’re a bad influence_

Robert scoffed as he read the text, before grabbing at the roll of toilet tissues and cleaning himself up.

**_Robert:_ ** _You started that by calling me_

**_Robert:_ ** _Don’t try to deny it_

He flushed away the evidence of his antics before returning to his bed; Chrissie stirring as he got into the bed beside her.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Good night Rob x_

**_Robert:_ ** _It was indeed ;)_

**_Robert:_ ** _Good night, Aaron x_

 

 

-s-

 

Eight days in, and Robert made sure he was home well in advance of the game kicking off to be able to watch it live.

Chrissie fawned over him as he arrived back from work, and he kissed her in the way he knew he should as he thanked her for the meal she made him.

He quite easily managed to pass off his sense of urgency to watch the match being due to his interest in the sport itself, and not just on watching the centre forward with the gorgeous thighs.

He didn’t take his eyes off Aaron all game.

He jumped up off the sofa when Aaron scored, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

He watched on as Aaron ran towards the camera in his goal celebration, staring down the lens as he screamed in celebration.

God, he missed him.

 

-s-

 

They made it to the twelfth day and the final game.

Robert couldn’t help himself after seeing Aaron in the pre-match interview – he had to text him.

**_Robert:_ ** _You don’t look bad in that England tracksuit. You can wear that next time I fuck you._

He didn’t hear back from Aaron, and when he got subbed off at half time Robert couldn’t help but wonder if he’d put him off somehow; blaming himself for Aaron’s lacklustre performance on the pitch for no discernible reason other than it was strange for him not to reply to his texts instantly.

He found himself in a bad mood for the rest of that night, unable to concentrate on watching the rest of the match, and almost completely oblivious to it when Connor slotted home a goal in the 89th minute.

He barely even flinched at the sight of him on screen, actually.

His mind was racing with thoughts of Aaron, and what he could have done that might have led to him being ignored all evening.

He watched on as Connor ran towards the crowd in his goal celebration, and something occurred to him – maybe Connor had told Aaron everything.

That would explain it – especially after Aaron had quite obviously brought Connor up in conversation the other day, and Robert had blatantly lied about not knowing the lad.

He groaned as his assumptions ran away with themselves.

He pictured Connor sidling up to Aaron at some point during their training over in Italy, probably sitting far too close for comfort in that way that Connor always seemed to do; in that way that had always made Robert’s skin prickle all those years ago. He imagined how Connor might bring up Robert’s name – all full of the knowledge that he was Aaron’s club manager – and waited to see how Aaron would react.

And, of course, Aaron wouldn’t have been able to lie. Not convincingly, anyway; and not for any length of time.

Not when Connor would have dragged it out of him, no doubt.

Robert pictured Aaron’s face when Connor inevitably would turn around and tell him how he’d slept with Robert all those years ago, and how he’d been the first man Robert had taken that step with, and how they’d met up on three occasions since then and that it had happened again each time they’d met.

How Robert had used him for what he’d needed each time and then dropped him at the first opportunity, every time.

How the last time it had happened – over five years ago – Robert had been so cruel as to also sleep with Connor’s pretend girlfriend at the time, just to prove that he really could have anyone he wanted.

He knew Connor had an axe to grind with him, and the churning anxiety worsened in the pit of his stomach as he thought about whether he’d finally found a way to stick the knife in, by telling Aaron about the two of them.

He questioned whether Connor would really be so cruel as to out him, but he had no doubt that he’d go there if he had a suspicion about what he and Aaron were to each other; that Aaron might already know about Robert’s sexual preferences.

He’d managed to get himself so worked up in the conviction that Connor had told Aaron about the two of them, and that Aaron was ignoring his texts because of it that Robert couldn’t even bring himself to reply to Chrissie as she made her way up to bed, asking if he would be joining her.

He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to distract himself with the warmth of her body.

He was too busy thinking over the conversation he’d had in Aaron’s bed less than two weeks ago – when he’d lied outright about his past with Connor.

He wanted to slap himself – wanted to go back in time and tell that version of himself that he needed to just be honest, that he should just open up and tell Aaron the truth about him.

It wasn’t like Aaron didn’t know he’d been with other men in the past.

He gritted his teeth as he thought about it, realising that he might have screwed things up with Aaron through his own stubborn headed-ness and his inability to be honest sometimes.

He needed to find a way to fix it.

He took his phone from his pocket again – realising it had been at least four hours since the last text he sent to Aaron – and he went to type out a message to apologise to Aaron, and to ask him to let himself explain what had happened with Connor.

His phone vibrated in his hand before he got the chance to write the message out.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Battery died, sorry._

**_Aaron:_ ** _Home tomorrow, I’ll make sure I unpack my tracksuit first ;)_

Robert breathed out an actual sigh of relief.

He almost laughed out loud to himself, at the way he’d managed to get himself so caught up in a panic about something that he had no need to worry about.

Still, the nagging feeling in the back of his mind made him question whether he did actually need to talk to Aaron about Connor, if he was going to avoid being on edge every time Aaron went away for England training.

**_Robert:_ ** _Sounds good. I’m at work all day got a few things to sort but can I see you tomorrow night?_

Aaron’s reply was instant this time.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Yeah. I’ll try and get Ad to go out and you can come round mine._

**_Robert:_ ** _Deal._

 

 

-s-

 

Aaron settled into the sofa, pleased to finally be back at home with all those home comforts – and the absence of a constant media presence as he went about his life.

Being in the same country as Robert also helped.

He’d known Robert was due to be at work all day so that he’d have to wait before he could see him, but he’d been relieved to get home and find out that Adam was intending to take Vic out for dinner that evening, and it had taken him all of 3 seconds to fish his phone from his pocket to text Robert and let him know he’d be home alone and ready to make up for lost time as soon as he’d finished work.

He slipped his phone back into his pocket with a smile on his face, as he settled into the sofa and flicked on Sky Sports, just in time for the 3pm kick off in the League One game they were showing that weekend, with the absence of any Premier League or Championship football due to the international break.

He curled his legs up on the sofa underneath him, resting against the arm of the sofa as he grabbed at the bag of Kettle Chips he’d flung onto the sofa, leaning down to crack open the can of lager he’d allowed himself to indulge in.

He’d just had ten days of intensive training under the media spotlight – he reckoned he more than deserved a couple of cans.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket just as the adverts finished and the title music for the Sky Sports game blared out.

**_Robert:_ ** _I’ll be over as soon as I’m done. Get that tracksuit on, I’ve been wanting to tear that off you all week._

Aaron smirked to himself, feeling a giddiness in his chest as he thought about Robert stuck at home watching the games on TV over the last week; picturing the way his face must have lit up whenever Aaron appeared on screen.

And then by some stroke of coincidence, Aaron glanced up at his own TV set only to find those familiar blue-grey eyes lighting up the screen in front of him – blond hair styled perfectly, freckles that Aaron knew so well now barely noticeable under the studio lights, navy blue suit and sky blue shirt bringing out the colour of his eyes perfectly.

Robert was doing the punditry on the game.

Aaron couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying to the other pundits in the TV studio as he lost himself in the beauty of this man.

 _His_ man.

He flinched, reminding himself of reality.

Still, it kind of felt like Robert was _his,_ sometimes.

Like these times, when he knew he could text him and watch his reaction unfold on screen in front of him.

In fact, that sounded like the kind of thing Aaron could enjoy.

With a smirk on his face, he unlocked his phone, screen bringing up Robert’s previous text to him immediately.

Aaron smiled, realising now that Robert must have sent it during the advert break, and it lit a fire inside of Aaron to know he’d been sat in the exact seat he was watching him in now when he’d sent that text.

He revelled in the thought of all the thousands of people sat watching the game, blissfully unaware of that fact that the Robert Sugden they saw on the screen before them – professional, and wholesome, and full of insight and knowledge on the beautiful game – was probably thinking about nothing other than being balls deep inside of England’s favourite centre forward later on that evening, despite appearances.

He shoved a handful of crisps into his mouth, washing them down with a gulp of lager and brushing off his dusty fingers on his jeans before he grabbed at his phone.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Didn’t know you were gonna be on my tele today._

**_Aaron:_ ** _About how much of this game are you gonna spend thinking about my cock, then?_

He smirked as he pressed send, noticing the flicker of Robert’s eyelashes as one of the other pundits fired a controversial comment around the studio, and Aaron wondered if that was Robert feeling his phone vibrate in the jacket pocket of his suit.

It was a few more minutes until they cut to an interview with the manager of the team involved in the game, and Aaron picked up his phone in anticipation of Robert’s reply, now that he was safely off camera.

Robert didn’t disappoint; his phone buzzed seconds later.

**_Robert:_ ** _Probably all of it._

Aaron smiled so wide he had to bite down on his bottom lip to try and stop himself, realising that Adam was about to make his way through from the kitchen and the last thing he needed was his best mate asking more questions.

He suppressed his smile as he sent through another text, hoping Robert would have time to reply before this manager interview ended and they flicked back to the studio.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Where do you want it?_

**_Robert_ ** _: In my mouth_

**_Robert_ ** _: You taste so good_

**_Aaron_ ** _: Tell me what you’re gonna do with that tongue._

The coverage flicked back to the studio before Robert had a chance to reply, and Aaron felt himself unable to wipe the smirk from his face when he saw the way Robert’s eyes seemed to be dancing with something only Aaron could decipher.

He became suddenly aware of the movement between Robert’s slightly parted lips as he sat in the TV studio between two other famous faces in suits – so slight it was almost unnoticeable – but Aaron watched on as Robert’s tongue darted out from between those perfectly white teeth of his, and trailed along his bottom lip.

The smile fell from Aaron’s face as he watched on, saw the flicker of Robert’s eyes as he glanced down the lens of the camera for half a second, and he felt himself grow hard almost suddenly with the realisation of what Robert was doing; the subliminal message he was sending to Aaron and Aaron alone; the other half a million viewers oblivious to the fact that Robert Sugden was giving Aaron Dingle the come on through the medium of television.

He coughed as Adam sat down on the sofa next to him, and shifted to make sure his erection wasn’t noticeable.

“What’s he doing on here?!” Adam questioned, amused, as he noticed Robert in the TV studio. “Does he even have a clue about League One football?”

Aaron huffed out a laugh, attempting to compose himself as he watched Robert’s tongue between his lips again.

He exhaled sharply, struggling to suppress the want and need that coursed through him, igniting every nerve ending in his body.

Not only was Robert giving him the come-on, but he looked so good in the suit he’d picked out, and Aaron couldn’t wait to tear it from his body, the weeks apart really finding a way to take a strain on his ability to hide his growing feelings.

“Dunno,” he answered his best mate as his question lingered between them. “Probably not.”

Adam leant over and grabbed the packet of crisps from his side, Aaron flinching slightly in the fear that his arousal may be exposed had Adam leant over too far.

He watched as Adam became engrossed in stuffing the crisps into his mouth, before picking up his phone and making sure Robert was well aware that Aaron had caught onto him.

**_Aaron:_ ** _You’re unbelievable_

**_Aaron:_ ** _You better get right round here when you’re done_

A few minutes later the coverage flicked over from the studio to the game with the commentary team, and Aaron picked up his phone in anticipation of Robert’s reply.

It only took a few seconds.

**_Robert:_ ** _I’m counting down the seconds._

**_Robert:_ ** _When is Adam out?_

“What time you going out?” Aaron asked the question instinctively.

Adam raised his eyebrows.

“You trying to get rid of me?” he teased back.

“As if,” Aaron tutted as he took the bag of crisps back that Adam had almost finished off.

“I’m picking Vic up at half 6,” he replied, slamming his feet down on the coffee table as he settled in to watch the game.

Aaron picked up his phone.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Half 6_

**_Robert:_ ** _I’ll come right over_

**_Robert:_ ** _Now leave me alone I’m meant to be paying attention to the game and being professional._

Aaron laughed to himself at that.

**_Aaron:_ ** _I’ll save it for later, then._

**_Robert:_ ** _You better._

 

 

-s-

 

 

It took Robert precisely three minutes to get himself out of the studio once the program finished.

He’d managed to get himself so worked up with the anticipation of Aaron in the build-up to the match that he’d hardly been able to contribute to the half time or post-match analysis, only offering the obvious replies when asked about the prospects of the teams in question and how they could work on their formation.

He broke various speeding limits on his way from the TV studios to Aaron’s house, well aware that it was approaching seven and that Aaron may have already started without him.

He pulled up on the driveway – not parking down the road as he usually would, to hell with anyone seeing his car there, he couldn’t wait the time it would take to walk down from the main road – and banged on Aaron’s door impatiently.

He needn’t have bothered – Aaron had watched him pull up and opened the door almost immediately.

They locked eyes across the doorway, before Robert launched himself in and claimed Aaron’s lips again, pressing his body up against Aaron’s as he walked through the door, and rebounding back against it as Aaron slammed it shut behind him.

He let himself drown in the sensation of Aaron’s kiss – had missed him more than he’d ever let himself admit – and he could tell by the way Aaron’s grabbed onto his waist and pressed his lips up against his own that the feeling was mutual.

“I missed you,” he let out, almost involuntarily.

Aaron pulled away and gave him the kind of smile that made his heart beat pick up ten paces, before he closed his eyes and stole his lovers lips again.

He tilted his head to the side, opening up to let his tongue swipe inside Aaron’s mouth, tongues merging into one up against each other as they reacquainted themselves heatedly.

He grabbed at Aaron’s biceps, turning him around and slamming him up against the front door before he found it in himself to pull away from his kiss, getting onto his knees within seconds and grabbing hurriedly at the material of Aaron’s jeans, pulling the buttons of his fly open and yanking down the denim and the soft cotton of his boxers underneath.

Aaron was already hard – wasn’t sure he’d fully recovered from the way Robert had turned him on through his TV screen earlier on – and Robert didn’t hesitate before locking his lips around the pleading tip of his dick, and swallowing him down root to tip.

He was so big and thick that Robert thought his gag reflex might kick in when he felt him hit the back of his throat, but he knew what he was doing, and he dug his fingers into Aaron’s thighs as he worked back and forth, saliva slicking up his dick as he heard Aaron groaned at the delicious friction of it.

He looked up at Aaron and caught his gaze, blue eyes locked onto blue-grey as he held his attention; lost in the connection between them; sparks flying inside of him.

He could feel his own dick straining in his trousers, desperate to pay it some attention but needing to taste Aaron’s cum down his throat even more so.

Aaron held his head in his hands with a gentleness that betrayed the passion in his eyes, and Robert pulled his mouth off Aaron’s dick for a split second, only to slick up his fingers with saliva, watching Aaron’s expression darken as caught on to Robert’s intentions and widened his legs further.

Robert smirked, before returning his lips to Aaron delicious cock, holding his gaze the entire time and he slipped his hand round to grab at Aaron’s arse, then teased his fingers in between his cheeks and circled the rim with his index finger.

Aaron whimpered with it as he begged Robert for what he wanted – a plethora of expletives falling from his lips as he pushed his hips back against Robert’s fingers and then thrust forwards into his mouth.

“’m close,” he begged as Robert tried to tease him, but he was too far gone to try and make this last, had wanted this since mid-afternoon; since forever.

Robert slipped his digit inside, breaching past the muscle and watching as Aaron’s expression melted with it, legs giving way slightly as he stumbled back against the door behind him, jerking as Robert curled his finger round and found that sweet spot Aaron was desperate for.

He could hear Aaron begging, and his mouth worked double time slipping up and down his cock, just about to slip another finger inside when he felt the stirring in Aaron’s hips, and seconds later he heard his own name echoing around the hallway as Aaron came forcefully down his throat.

He took down every drop, taste so distinctly _Aaron_ on his tongue that it reminded him of his own aching cock in his trousers, and he let Aarons dick slip from between his lips as he got himself to his feet, unbuckling his own jeans with an urgency that was becoming so familiar to him in Aaron’s presence.

He leant in and took Aaron’s lips in his own – responding to the groan of satisfaction as Aaron tasted himself on Robert’s tongue – and Robert grabbed himself in his hand and started to work at himself in desperation for release as he snogged Aaron to within an inch of his life.

Aaron’s kisses were lazy against him, tongue filling his mouth unapologetically, and minutes later he was recovered enough to take over from Robert as he stripped at his dick, his own hips jolting now as he felt that stirring inside of him; that need for release pulsing through him.

He came in shoots over Aaron’s hand, streaking cum up his forearms, dripping onto the laminate floor of their hallway, soaking into the material of Aaron’s hoodie.

He regained his composure, allowed his breath to return to normal, then looked Aaron in the eye and let out a gentle laugh with him.

“Missed you too,” Aaron smirked, as Robert dipped in and kissed his smile up against Aaron’s.

“Where’s the tracksuit?” Robert asked, almost offended by the lack of it.

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh.

“In the wash, Robert. I’ve been wearing it all week.”

“Shame,” Robert pouted. “This’ll have to do, then,” he added before leaning in to claim another kiss.

“I better get something to clean this up,” Aaron added as he pulled away from Robert’s lips reluctantly.

Robert followed him through to the kitchen, resting casually against the worktop as he watched Aaron wash his hands in the sink then rinse out a cloth to take through to the hallway.

“Makes a change not to be hiding away in your room,” Robert noted playfully, met with an encouraging eye-roll from Aaron as he made his way back to the kitchen.

“Well, Ad should be out for a few hours,” Aaron said as he rinsed out the cloth in the sink and turned back to face Robert. “Do you want a beer?”

“I want you,” Robert replied as he moved forwards, circling his hands around Aaron’s waist.

“We’ve got all night, Robert,” Aaron laughed back at him, reaching up to peck a kiss against his lips. “It might be nice to just hang out together for once.”

Robert winced as he pulled away a little.

“What?” Aaron asked, unable to stop his voice from cracking slightly.

“We kind of haven’t,” Robert admitted, begrudgingly. “I have to get back to Chrissie. I can get away with dragging out the time it took to leave the studio but not much more than that.”

Aaron pulled away from Robert’s touch as he rolled his eyes.

Aaron’s heart sunk as he shrugged off his disappointment, making his way over to the pool table and rolling one of the balls over to the far pocket with slightly more force than was necessary.

He didn’t like being second best.

He wasn’t really sure he was quite cut out to be the side-piece; especially not if it was to Robert.

He needed this man all to himself, and it was starting to make his heart hurt with the realisation that it might never happen.

Maybe he should be telling Robert to leave?

Maybe he should be cutting his ties now, whilst he still had a chance of moving past it, of getting over him, before he was in too deep?

Maybe he already too far past that point.

“Hey, look,” Robert tried to comfort him as he followed Aaron over to the pool table, attempting to make amends. “I can stay for an hour or so, at least. We could have a game of pool, if you fancy it?” he suggested, looking down at the pool table Aaron leant up against, before leaning past him and picking up one of the cues.

He stood in front of Aaron, thighs brushing up against him as he ducked in and pecked a kiss against his lips.

“You wanna rack ‘em up?” he asked, and even then there was a hint of suggestion behind it that made Aaron’s insides dance around with butterflies.

He couldn’t stay mad at Robert, though – not with the way he was looking back at him; looking like Aaron actually meant something to him; like this whole _thing_ between them wasn’t just some game to him.

He couldn’t risk giving up on something when there seemed to be half a chance that he wasn’t alone in this.

No matter how much it might hurt if he was wrong; this was too good to ever be able to give up.

“Okay,” he agreed, not quite as reluctantly as he hoped he made it appear. “I’ll break,” he insisted, turning away from him to get the triangle and to set up the pool balls.

They settled into a friendly game of pool, but Aaron found himself getting more and more frustrated as his game was off, and he seemed to be missing every other ball he went for.

He went to pot an easy ball and missed, potting the white instead, and groaned as he slammed the cue down on the table.

Robert laughed back at him, amused without realising how Aaron was getting genuinely frustrated with himself.

 “I’m not usually this shit,” Aaron explained, almost a little embarrassed that he couldn’t show Robert how good he usually was.

It was ironic, really, seeing as the whole reason for being off his game was Robert’s very presence.

Robert raised his eyebrows as he moved towards the table to take his turn, easily lining up the white and slotting home one of his stripes into the middle pocket.

He looked over at Aaron and gave him the kind of smug, arrogant smile that from anyone else would make Aaron want to lash out and show them what he was capable of.

With Robert, it only made him want to jump his bones even more than he had done all evening.

He rolled his eyes at him, though. Couldn’t let him see the effect he was having on him, could he?

 “Do you want a bit of guidance?” Robert smarmed as he moved around the table towards Aaron, waiting for him to take his turn.

“Piss off,” Aaron replied as he leant down and lined himself up for his next shot.

Robert didn’t miss a beat, leaning over him, using his height to his advantage as he managed to plaster every inch of his skin against Aaron’s, thighs up close against Aaron’s, his torso draped over Aaron’s back, arms circling the man beneath him as he tried to manoeuvre his shot.

Aaron almost pushed him away, but he could feel the unmistakable strain of Robert’s hard on pushing against his back, making him feel the heat of his body all over him, and he felt the frustration fizzle away almost instantly as his own body responded, felt himself throbbing up inside his jeans again.

Robert whispered instructions into his ear – well aware of what he was doing, hot air tickling against Aaron’s skin, nibbling on his earlobe, nuzzling at him until Aaron couldn’t take it any more.

He spun himself around in Robert’s arms, his own flinging the pool cue across the table, sending at least four of the balls careering across the pool table, one taking its escape and bouncing off onto the floor, cracking against the wooden flooring as it landed.

Aaron couldn’t find it within him to care.

Not when Robert had his lips on him as soon as he’d turned to face him; not when Robert was pulling at his hoodie and tearing it from his shoulders; not when he was shuffling up off the floor and sitting up on the pool table, grabbing at the suit jacket he’d spent all afternoon staring at and scrambling to undo the buttons on Robert’s shirt, hurried and frenzied and desperate for it all over again as he shoved them down off his shoulders and into a heap on the floor.

Robert moved to undo Aaron’s belt buckle and pull at his jeans, Aaron resting on his hands to take his own weight as Robert whipped his trousers and boxers down, exposing him shamelessly as he sat back down on his arse, Aaron kicking his jeans away from him as Robert got his hands wrapped around his cock immediately, working him up with those delicate, unforgiving hands of his.

Aaron flattened his palms against Robert’s chest – feeling the heat of his body and the tautness of his skin against his chest, and he moved his hands down quickly to undo the buckle of Robert’s belt and trousers, shoving them down with his boxers until he was stood there in nothing but his socks, erection stood proud before Aaron had even got to work on him.

Robert grabbed at the hem of his t-shirt and whipped it over his head, before urging forwards to claim Aaron’s lips as his own again.

Aaron pulled Robert forwards by his waist, groaning with the feel of skin on skin, sweat lingering between them until Robert pulled away sharply.

“Where’s your supplies?” he asked hurriedly, impatient all over again.

“Top drawer by the fridge,” Aaron answered him, just as eager for what Robert was going to do to him, tugging at his own cock as he watched Robert dart over to the kitchen and rifle through his drawers.

Robert returned with a condom and lube, and Aarons hands were straight back on him, working along his length until Robert batted his hands away, rolling on the condom and slicking his fingers up with lube.

Aaron jumped down off the pool table, fisting at his own cock as he turned to back himself up against Robert, feeling Robert’s chest flush against his own back as his hand circled around his waist and pulled Aaron close to him, suckling kisses against the back of his neck that Aaron was sure were going to leave bruises.

It didn’t mean he wanted Robert to stop.

He was pretty sure Robert had realised it too, and yet he carried on marking him regardless.

Robert’s hand snaked down to grab at Aaron’s cock, finding Aaron’s hand already there doing his work for him, and he linked his fingers in with Aaron’s around his length as they moved in time with one another, Aaron so aware of the feel of Robert’s slicked up cock nudging against the top of his thigh behind him.

Robert moved his free hand in between them – still slicked up with lube – and he rubbed in between Aaron’s cheeks, before preparing him quickly, far too desperate to feel himself surrounded by Aaron’s heat to even pretend to tease him.

“Just fuck me, Robert,” Aaron begged, shameless.

He obliged willingly, pulling his fingers free of Aaron’s stretched hole and pushing himself inside of him – slow at first, and then with pace after the first few thrusts – Aaron’s pleading groans spurring him on as he bent him down over the pool table and fucked into him relentlessly.

Robert draped himself over Aaron’s back, peppering kisses down his spine, nuzzling into the soft skin of his lovers neck as his hips bucked up into him with a desperation that betrayed the tenderness of his lips against him.

They were so in the moment that neither of them heard the car pulling up on the driveway.

Neither of them heard the door swing open.

Neither of them heard the footsteps down the hall.

The first they knew of it was the sound of carrier bags dropping against the laminate floor, a tin of some variety rolling along the floor towards the pool table.

Robert stopped still, fear washing over him as he pulled away from Aaron; almost physically recoiling away from him as if in some sort of disgust.

Aaron swallowed down hard and moved to cover his decency as best he could.

Adam stood in the doorway, mouth agape, shaking his head.

“I fucking knew it, man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and let me know what you think on tumblr - wellyfullofale  
> <3<3<3
> 
> P.s. I'm off on holiday for a couple of weeks so may be a little longer for the next update!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath...(finally. soz.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, thank you if you're still here despite the unforgivable wait for an update! Secondly, I can only apologise for leaving this alone for so long...
> 
> The truth is I just fell out of love with writing for a long while - I kind of found myself doing it for everyone else and not for myself any more. And as much as I love you all dearly (I really do you're all awesome <3<3<3) it's hard to spend all your free time on something that you don't love anymore, y'know? Anyway, I gave myself a break from it and it was the best decision because now I'm actually excited to write again and I've really enjoyed picking it back up. Doesn't mean it's any good, mind (probably worse seeing as I'm rusty now, lol) but I hope you can forgive me for leaving you on that cliffhanger all summer.
> 
> At least I managed to update before the reunion on screen - it was questionable at one point which would come first tbh ;)
> 
> Enjoy :)

**Chapter 15**

There was a stunted, shocked silence permeating the room, punctured only by the clatter of the tin cans coming to a stop up against the wooden leg of the pool table that Aaron was desperately wishing he could use to climb underneath and hide away from the world.

“This isn’t…it isn’t what it looks like,” Robert stuttered from behind where Aaron stood, the both of them naked and without any chance of misinterpretation.

“Erm, yeah it is,” Aaron mumbled, more than a little affronted that Robert had been so quick to deny him like that.

Robert ignored the confused looks from Aaron and Adam as he scrambled about on the floor trying to find his clothes, pulling them on with shaking hands as he reeled from the realisation that they’d been caught.

“So you weren’t just fucking him on the pool table, then?” Adam asked sarcastically, directing his question towards Robert before covering his eyes with his hands and turning to give the two of them at least the chance of getting dressed without his gaze on them.

“Adam, don’t,” Aaron begged of his friend under his breath, unnerved now by the panic he could see written all over Robert’s face, with the way he was manically attempting to dress himself and desperately avoiding Aaron’s eye.

Aaron reached over and took a hold of Robert’s forearm, momentarily halting his lover in his haste to get himself decent again.

“It’s okay,” Aaron whispered, catching his eye for a half a second and swallowing down as he saw the ice cold nature of Robert’s stare looking back at him blankly.

All of the warmth he’d gotten so used to seeing in those eyes had evaporated; disappeared.

Robert snatched his arm away from Aaron’s touch; Aaron felt his blood run cold with the loss of contact.

“What were you thinking?” Adam questioned them, confusion lacing his tone, still with his back to the room as he lingered in the doorway. “You’d better sort yourselves out quickly, Vic is gonna be here any second – she was following me in her car.”

“Fuck,” Robert muttered under his breath, aware that now wasn’t really the time to be bringing up his problem with Adam dating his sister.

“Robert, it’s fine,” Aaron tried to calm him again, desperate to get back the version of Robert he’d found himself falling for and not this manic, panicked version of that man stood before him as they found themselves both fully dressed again. “Adam won’t say anything – ”

“How can it be fine,” Robert snapped through gritted teeth as he sharply pulled himself away from Aaron’s touch once more. “Nobody can know about _this._ Nobody can know about _you._ ”

The words felt like a dagger through Aaron’s heart, and he stepped away from Robert as he let him charge towards Adam stood in the doorway.

“You _dare_ breathe a word of this to anyone,” Robert threatened as he made his way through the doorway where Adam stood. “And your career will be over, do you understand?”

“Robert, gaffer, there’s no need – ”

“I said do you understand?” Robert snapped back, his voice razor sharp.

“Yeah, whatever,” Adam dismissed him, glancing over to check on Aaron and noticing the way that his eyes were fixed firmly to the floor, hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Robert pushed past him, making his way outside and into his car, dropping his keys on the floor as he failed to calm his shaking hands. He jumped into his car and started the engine, spinning the wheel on the gravel driveway in his haste to get away from what had just happened.

Adam watched Robert drive away then moved to face his best friend, noticing the way that Aaron shuffled into the kitchen in an effort to get away from him; eyes never leaving the floor.

“Mate,” Adam started, following him through to the kitchen. “Mate, are you okay?”

“Just leave it, Adam,” he waved him away, opening the fridge door and staring inside with the hope it could offer him a distraction.

He felt Adam’s hand against his arm, pulling him around so that they were facing one another, the fridge door swinging shut to their side.

“Mate, you can talk to me – ”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Aaron snapped, holding Adam’s gaze as he chewed down on the inside of his gum. “You know what you saw, that’s all it is, there’s nothing more to say.”

Aaron tried to shove past his housemate, feeling the solid weight of Adam’s grip on his biceps as he held him back, stopping him from walking away.

“This isn’t nothing, Aaron,” Adam insisted, his tone getting more insistent as he spoke. “Do you have any idea how wrong this could go for you?”

“I told you, Adam, it’s nothing,” Aaron insisted through gritted teeth, stepping forwards until he found himself up in his best mate’s face. “So forget what you saw, and drop it, okay?”

Adam held his stare for a few seconds, before stepping back and letting his hands pull away from their grip on Aaron.

“He’s getting married – ”

“I said, leave it,” Aaron warned, his heart racing with the realisation of what Adam had said, with the way that his best mate had managed to hit that spot right where it hurt; where it made Aaron want to double over in pain.

He barged past, making his way through the lounge, grabbing his phone off the side as he found himself slamming full front into Victoria as she walked into the lounge.

“Woah,” she laughed as she recovered herself. “You alright, Aaron,” she smiled, adjusting her top slightly.

“Has he given you a key now?” he asked her with a sharpness to his tone that let her know he wasn’t happy about her being able to let herself into his house uninvited.

He could barely let himself think about what she could have walked in on.

“He said he’d leave it unlocked and to let myself in,” she explained, pointing at Adam behind her. “Sorry, I didn’t think it’d be a problem.”

“Don’t take it out on her, mate,” Adam warned him. “She’s not done anything.”

Aaron swallowed down, letting his shoulders drop slightly as he checked himself.

“Whatever,” he muttered, before turning to make his way upstairs.

“What’s up with him?” he heard Vic asking Adam as he headed towards the stairs, and he fought the urge to run and hide for a second, realising he needed to know if Adam was going to tell her.

He paused on the stairs, listening in on their conversation in the other room.

He grimaced through the unmistakeable sound of their kiss, rolling his eyes as he waited for his best mate to answer the question.

“He’s got a lot going on,” Adam answered her, and Aaron could feel the relief creeping through him. “He’s not usually like that. Well, he is sometimes,” Adam laughed, and there was the sound of another kiss again.

“Was that my brother I passed on the way here?” Vic asked innocently. “He seemed in a right rush, didn’t even notice it was me when he cut me up on the island.”

Aaron felt his heart rate increase again, until he overheard Adam give her an excuse about him having dropped round some news on the training schedules and him probably being in a rush to get to the rest of the team on his errand too.

Aaron sighed with relief, and with some further kissing sounds coming from the lounge, he found his cue to leave and hide himself away in his room for the rest of the evening.

 

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

 

**_Aaron:_ ** _Adam’s not going to say anything, I promise. He’s not like that._

 

**_Aaron:_ ** _Robert talk to me._

**_Aaron:_ ** _Don’t block me out, Robert. I need to know we’re okay?_

**_Aaron:_ ** _Call me, please._

-s-

 

 

Aaron unlocked his phone again for what must have been the fiftieth time that evening.

It opened up on his WhatsApp message with Robert, his string of messages accompanied with the double blue ticks to let him know Robert had seen his desperate pleas and had decided not to respond.

Last seen 22:47.

Robert was ignoring him.

He shifted on the bed that he’d been sprawled on top of for most of the evening, laying above the sheets and still in the same clothes Robert had stripped him of earlier that day and that he’d had to hurriedly redress in after Adam had caught them.

There was some kind of football playing on his TV on the wall facing him – an international game, complete with international commentary from one of the probably illegal additional channels that Adam had had one of his mates configure when they’d moved in – but he realised he hadn’t paid any attention to a single one of the 79 minutes that had played in the game thus far.

He clicked his phone again; still no messages.

He clenched his jaw, fighting back the urge to give in to the mixture of rage and sadness that was swimming around inside of him, a tiny part of him clinging on to the hope that Robert might still reply to him.

He was losing that hope by the second.

He’d already had to find one way to work the rage out of himself – resorting to his right hand to work him through the pent up frustration, not helped in any way by the way that Robert had pulled him all the way to the edge over their pool table earlier and that Adam’s interruption couldn’t have come at a worse time. Once he’d finished he’d been left empty, though; left needing more.

Needing Robert.

It was then that he’d started texting his manager; then that he’d found himself ignored time and time again; then that he’d found a growing unease with the impending realisation that this could be it, that they might actually be over.

He couldn’t resist the urge to try once more, though.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Are you gonna ignore me all night?_

He typed out the message in desperation, as the need for some kind of contact – reassurance of any sort – from his lover overwhelmed him, the lack of it sending his mind spiralling to a place he didn’t want to go.

He waited.

He waited, and waited, and waited.

The football on TV finished, and he heard the sound of voices in the hallway with muffled laughter, before the front door closed shut as he assumed Victoria left.

He sighed, aware that Adam would be on his way up to see him; that he wasn’t going to get away with not talking to him about it.

A tiny part of him – one he’d never acknowledge existed, even if it definitely did – felt a sense of relief that he didn’t have to keep it to himself anymore. Someone _knew._

Adam knew.

Adam – the guy who’d been his best friend and brother for as long as he could remember; who’d been the first person he’d come out to and who’d been such a huge part of the reason he could finally say he was in a position where he was comfortable with his sexuality; the guy who’d never given him any reason to doubt him.

If he couldn’t talk to Adam, he couldn’t talk to anybody.

It was with that realisation he felt himself prickling with relief as he heard the soft knock against his door.

“Yeah,” he said, shuffling over on the bed to make room as Adam pushed his door open.

“Well, I would ask if you were decent mate but I think after today I’ve pretty much seen everything,” Adam laughed as he made his way in, launching himself onto the bed beside Aaron.

Aaron could see the concern in his expression though – despite how he tried to hide it with a joke – and Aaron laughed from one side of his mouth as he felt a wave of relief trickle over him.

“Shut up,” Aaron threatened him lightly, picking up a pillow from behind his back and smacking against Adam’s stomach with it.

“Oi!” Adam laughed.

“No chance of you not wanting to talk about it then?” Aaron asked, a resignation in his tone in the knowledge that Adam wasn’t going to ignore what he’d seen.

“Talk about what?” Adam shrugged, smirk playing at the side of his lips. “Oh, shit, you mean talk about the fact I came home to find you getting it hard across our pool table – ”

“Ad!”

“ – from the gaffer Robert bloody Sugden, no less!”

“For fuck’s sake,” Aaron cringed as Adam laughed next to him, head in his hands.

“What would _The Sun_ have to say about that, eh?” Adam turned to face him, wide-eyed with amusement.

“Don’t you dare,” Aaron warned, completely aware that his best mate was trying to lighten the mood; that his words held no weight.

“Premier League manager caught balls deep in his star centre forward,” he joked as he held his hands in front of him, mapping out the headline.

“Fuck off,” Aaron shoved a fist against Adam’s bicep, his smile disappearing at the fleeting thought of Robert’s reaction to the press getting a hold of their secret.

“Ow!” Adam moaned as he rubbed at where Aaron had hit him, looking up and clocking the way that Aaron’s expression had changed; how he’d moved from being mildly amused at Adam’s jibes to mildly – what was that – panicked?

“Serves you right,” Aaron muttered.

Adam took a deep breath, adjusting himself on the bed to allow himself to sit up on the pillows and lean back on the headboard, mirroring the way that Aaron sat next to him, legs sprawled above the covers in front of them, both of them attempting to make sense of the post-match analysis on the TV in front of them, despite it being in what seemed a lot like Spanish.

“Did you really know?”

Aaron voice was quiet, almost as if he didn’t know if he was ready for the answer to the question.

“What?” Adam replied, looking over to his friend with a frown.

“When you…when you walked in,” Aaron started, stuttered, unsure of himself, palm rubbing against his face as he let the words out. “You said you knew. You said you ‘fucking knew it’,” Aaron added, changing his voice in an attempt to tease Adam for his accent.

Adam sighed, raising his eyebrows.

In truth, he hadn’t known specifically, but he’d known there was something going on between the two of them, and as soon as he’d seen it everything had slotted into place and had finally made sense.

“I’d been trying to work out why you and him always seemed so pissed off with each other,” Adam explained, hands absentmindedly fiddling with the zip on the pocket of his tracksuit bottoms. “And I saw the way you looked at him sometimes, it was…weird.”

“What?”

Panic rose up inside of Aaron – if Adam could see it, did that mean everyone could?

“I only noticed it because I know you, mate. It wasn’t obvious or anything,” Adam explained, attempting to calm the panicked look plastered over his friend’s face. “And I knew you were seeing someone and it was some big secret who, so I guess I was looking out for it. Nobody else could know, I promise you mate.”

Aaron sighed again, allowing the fresh intake of oxygen into his lungs and his bloodstream to steady his racing heart and bring his anxiety levels down slightly.

“No-one can know,” Aaron muttered, swallowing past the words as they sliced through him.

He hated the way that it was so obvious to him; how it was such an absolute given fact that he had to stay as the secret, that there was no way he could let anyone know about himself and Robert.

How he’d always be hidden away, and never able to call Robert his own, never able to do anything other than sneak around with him behind closed doors and away from prying eyes.

It made something painful jolt inside of him, and he felt his throat constricting with the realisation that this might not be enough for him; that being Robert’s bit on the side wasn’t ever going to be enough.

“How long?” Adam asked, pulling Aaron from his thoughts.

Aaron coughed back the lump in his throat.

“A while,” he admitted after a moment.

“As in?” he pushed.

“As in, I dunno, a few months,” Aaron answered, shrugging through it as if it wasn’t important.

“Jesus,” Adam sighed. “So, he’s been the guy all along? The one you’ve been seeing all that time?”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Aaron replied, trying to think back over all of the times Adam had picked up on the fact that he might be seeing someone.

“The one I dragged you out to that bar to go on the pull and make him jealous?”

“Yeah.”

“The one who you’ve been sat here texting with a massive grin on your face almost every night for ages?

“Yes, Adam,” he answered again on a sigh, voice raised slightly in a plea to get his best mate to stop.

There was a pause before Adam looked across at him, stared him in the eye.

“You’re really into him,” he said quietly, a softness to his tone that made Aaron’s eyelids flicker.

It was a statement of fact, not a question.

Adam knew Aaron wouldn’t have got himself so hung up on someone who meant nothing to him.

“Shut up,” he dismissed the idea of it casually, avoiding Adam’s eye.

“Aaron, come on bro,” Adam pushed back. “You haven’t gotta hide it from me. You really like him?”

Aaron scrubbed at his face with his hands, trying to hide behind his palms as he realised Adam would be able to read everything in his expression.

“You do, don’t you?” Adam pushed some more.

“Why does that matter?” he replied dismissively, waving the thought away with his hands, finding himself incapable of denying it.

He _did_ really like Robert, after all. There were moments he’d shared with that man that made him question whether what they had was more than what it appeared; more than what he was trying to convince himself it was – an affair; a bit of fun. Nothing more.

“Do you love him?” Adam asked jokingly, his eyebrows raised in his attempt at making light of what Aaron was telling him.

“Just drop it, Adam, okay?” Aaron threatened, shrugging away the joke.

“Are you serious?” he replied, oh-so-aware that Aaron hadn’t answered his question in the negative. “He’s getting married, Aaron – ”

“You think I don’t know that?” he snapped back, realising it was the same argument he’d been having with himself internally for the past few months. “You think I don’t know it means nothing to him?”

“Well what are you still doing with him?”

“I can’t stop it, Adam!” The words had left him before he could stop to take in the gravity of their meaning. “Okay? I can’t help it. I can’t…I can’t…stop - ”

“You do love him,” Adam made the realisation, the words shocking any kind of insincerity out of him.

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Aaron snapped back dismissively, grimace covering his face in an effort to hide how his heart was racing inside his chest.

“You do,” Adam pressed again.

“I do not,” he replied, attempting to be as resolute as he could muster.

“You wouldn’t be hanging around and putting up with it if you didn’t, mate.”

“Stop it, please,” he pleaded, clenching down on his jaw as he tried to control the expression on his face; tried to hide the way he was really feeling.

“Mate, this is gonna end badly, I’m telling ya,” Adam told him, unhelpfully. It wasn’t as if Aaron hadn’t been telling himself the same thing from the very beginning.

“You don’t need to tell me that,” he muttered under his breath in reply.

He focused his attention on the TV screen, hoping it could take Adam’s attention away from him and Robert and what he’d walked in on earlier that day. It worked for a few moments, and Aaron started to feel his heart rate decreasing as he hoped his best mate would leave the topic alone.

“Is he going to leave her?” Adam asked softly after a few moments of quiet.

Aaron sighed; clearly his plan hadn’t worked.

“No, why would he?” he shrugged, as if it was obvious.

“Well clearly he’s not happy, else he wouldn’t have come after you.”

Aaron couldn’t help the way his stomach flipped a little at the thought of it, at the realisation that Robert had come after him, that Robert had purposefully pursued him.

He shrugged away any hope that it meant something.

“It is what it is,” Aaron replied, let the words roll off his tongue like the rhetoric he forced himself to repeat in his own thoughts time and time again.

“So what, you’re just happy to be his dirty little secret?”

“I’m happy to be whatever he’s offering, Adam,” he replied, exasperated now and ready to end this conversation. “So will you just drop it, because you can tell me to stop seeing him as much as you like but it ain’t gonna happen, okay?”

The silence lingered in the air between them for a few seconds, the gravity of what Aaron was saying settling between them.

“Shit, you have got it bad,” Adam said quietly, turning towards Aaron and letting a smile drift over his face.

Aaron paused, before letting a smile crack over his features and shoving his friend on the shoulder.

“Shut it,” Aaron half-laughed in reply, lingering on that precipice between laughter and tears.

“Bet he’s panicking though, what’s he said?” Adam asked innocently, back in the realm of joking about the revelation instead of attempting to talk Aaron around.

He noticed the way Aaron’s expression dropped immediately, sighing as he picked up his phone and unlocked the screen hesitantly.

Aaron held up the phone to show Adam his string of unanswered messages, raising his eyebrows as Adam looked over at him with a grimace when he realised his best mate was being ignored.

“Dick,” Adam muttered under his breath.

“Cut him some slack, to be fair,” Aaron smirked back at him. “He’s just panicked you’re gonna tell someone.”

“Someone like Vic?” he asked, half in amusement.

“Yeah, probably,” Aaron replied. “But I don’t think she knows about him being with guys or whatever, so obviously you’re not gonna say anything, are you?”

“Mate, obviously.”

“Good. So can we drop it now? I think you’ve been involved enough in my relationship for one day?”

“Relationship, is it?” Adam teased with an eyebrow raised.

“Fuck off,” Aaron laughed as he shoved Adam off the bed, his best mate finding the floor with his feet before hitting it with his arse.

“Charming!” Adam cried out in mock offence.

“Piss off and let me get some sleep, it’s nearly midnight,” Aaron pleaded, aware they had training in the morning.

Adam got himself up off the floor and sauntered over towards the door.

“Try not to cry yourself to sleep over him,” Adam teased as he left the room. “Night!”

Aaron rolled his eyes and let out a long, deep sigh as he rested back on his pillows, checking for any messages one last time before he decided to give up and get himself ready for bed.

He was slowly realising he might be waiting forever for a reply from Robert.

A voice in the back of his head reminded him that he’d probably wait that long for it, too.

He really did have it bad.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

Robert’s heart rate was in overdrive for the remainder of the evening, way past his enraged, speed-limit-defying drive back to his from Aaron’s, and beyond his strained welcome from Chrissie as he tried to hide from her the way that his blood stream was laced with panic.

He’d been jittery all evening, and he hadn’t noticed how much until Chrissie had to clamp a solid palm against his leg as they sat and watched TV together, stopping the constant up-and-down of his thigh as he felt himself spiralling.

“Sorry,” he muttered out as she looked up at him, concern in her eyes.

“What has got into you this evening?” she asked warmly, turning to face him on the sofa and giving him her full attention. “You’ve been on edge ever since you walked through the door.”

Robert sighed, subconsciously checking his phone for a second and noticing another of Aaron’s messages come through. He slid the notification from the top of his screen, realising he couldn’t well open it with Chrissie beside him, for fear Aaron may have written something inappropriate for her eyes.

“I’m fine,” he tried to reassure her, but even he could tell how unconvincing he sounded.

“You can talk to me, Robert. You know that, don’t you?”

Chrissie was looking back at him with worry, her eyes tracing patterns across his face as she tried to work him out.

He took a deep breath, hoping the influx of oxygen would go some way to settle his nerves.

“I know, and thank you,” he smiled at her, holding his arm out towards her and inviting her into his embrace.

She complied willingly, bringing her feet up onto the sofa as she snuggled into his side, furry blanket pulled up over her body, palm lying flat against Robert’s chest to support where her head was resting.

“Your heart’s racing,” she told him, able to feel the _thump-a-thump_ of his vital organ through the palm placed on his chest.

Robert paused for a moment, letting himself take in the intimacy of the moment as he battled to try to find an excuse that she might believe.

“I’m just really starting to feel the pressure,” he admitted quietly, finding a half-truth instead of a lie. “Being in the studio tonight, hearing the way they talk about teams and players and managers, it just got me thinking about what they could be saying if I don’t do the job right.”

“But you’re doing well, aren’t you?” she asked brightly.

“Yeah, for now,” he admitted wistfully. “It’s just…this is all that my dad ever wanted, was for me to follow in his footsteps, lead a team to a title, win some silverware.”

“Your dad would be proud of where you are, Robert,” she assured him, picking her head up to look him in the eye. “You should be proud. I know I am.”

He offered her a smile of thanks, but swallowed past the lump in his throat with the wave of guilt that flashed over him as soon as she looked away. There weren’t many times when he really thought about what it all meant for Chrissie – what him and Aaron got up to, and how it could destroy this woman he cared so much about – but in that moment he was hit with a wave of realisation, and he found the chaos rising up inside of him again.

He thought about it for a while as they watched TV in companionable silence; as he felt Chrissie’s gentle breathing against his chest, and he let his fingertips trace circles against her waist. He did love her, especially in these rare moments when he got to see this soft side to her, the side that she kept so well hidden from others.

It was just that she wasn’t enough for him; she’d never be enough for him.

He’d known it years ago when they’d met and he’d refused to stop sleeping around with the girl who ran the front desk at one of her salons; he’d known it when he proposed to her with an ulterior motive of keeping in with Lawrence White and his influence in football; and he’d known it as soon as he laid eyes on Aaron Dingle in that press conference room all those months ago.

Chrissie had never been able to hold his attention.

Not like Aaron had done.

In fact, Robert realised as he sat there with his fiancée in his arms, he couldn’t think of a single person he’d ever been with – man or woman – who’d ever been able to hold his attention quite like Aaron Dingle had.

The thought of it made him check his phone, reading the messages from Aaron and feeling an immediate spike in his heart rate with the way that it was so obvious in the tone of the messages that Aaron was worried for him; that Aaron actually cared. He let it warm through him for a moment, until reality hit and he felt the pain rush through him as his subconscious gave him a reminder that whatever he and Aaron had between them would have to be over now – that Adam had found out, and that they could never risk going there again.

It was going to have to be over.

The realisation felt like a dagger in his chest, but he couldn’t deny it.

He couldn’t risk it getting out – couldn’t risk Chrissie finding out, and Lawrence finding out, and the world finding out who he really was.

He felt himself exhale a shaky breath, gritting his teeth together in an effort to hide his turmoil from the woman currently snuggled into the crook of his arm.

He felt the unfamiliar urge inside of himself to cry – to let himself give in to his emotions for the first time in years – but he managed to tamp it down, managed to stop himself before he lost himself in the devastation that was coursing through him.

He was going to have to end things with Aaron.

He had no choice, not now Adam knew; not know the man who was seeing his sister knew about it.

He’d let it go too far, and he had to rein it back in, despite it making him feel sick to the stomach to even think about it.

He ignored Aaron’s messages, unable to formulate words into a reply when he had his fiancée in his arms and tears stinging behind his eyes.

Before long he gave Chrissie his apologies and took himself off to bed, vowing to break all ties with Aaron at their training session in the morning, head overruling heart as he fought against every reflex in his body that wanted to reach out to Aaron and promise him that everything was going to be fine.

He knew it couldn’t be further from the truth.

 

 

 

 

-s--

 

Robert had vowed to himself the night before that he’d break things off with Aaron at training, but as he pulled onto the car park at the training ground and noticed Adam’s Range Rover parked up opposite him, it started to feel too real and he realised he was close to losing his bottle.

He knew he had to do it; knew that Adam and potentially Vic were aware of what him and Aaron had spent the best part of the past six months doing, and there was no way that information could go any further and jeopardise everything that he’d worked for.

Only, when he thought things through now, he almost let himself admit that all of the money and status didn’t seem worth it, not if he was going to have to give up Aaron for it.

He meant it when he’d said he didn’t think he could give up Aaron if he tried.

He knew turning his back on what the two of them had was going to be one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do.

Still, he tried to level with himself – tried to remind himself that him and Aaron were always going to be a short-lived thing, that he was always going to have to break things off when he married Chrissie, and he could see their wedding day fast approaching at the end of the season and tried to reason with himself that maybe it was best to be breaking things off with Aaron now before they got too serious.

He laughed to himself, out loud.

Even he couldn’t deny it; they were so far past that point already.

He looked up at himself in his rear-view mirror, catching his own stare and trying to steel his nerves.

“Got no choice, Sugden,” he said to himself, feeling his heart hammering inside his chest as he made his decision, aware of the conversation he was going to have to have with Aaron as soon as he could get him on his own.

He realised it might well be the hardest conversation he’ll ever have to have in his entire life.

He ignored the voice in the back of his head that tried to make him realise that maybe – just _maybe_ – if it was really that hard for him to do, then it wasn’t the right decision after all.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

 

Robert avoided Aaron’s eye throughout the training session, so much so he almost made it too obvious.

He did the same with Adam, too.

After a brief attempt to show an interest in the training session, Robert found it too difficult to stay in the presence of the man he was falling for faster than his heart had ever known, and the other man whose discovery was going to make him have to give that up.

“Take over from here, will you Bob?” Robert asked his assistant.

“They should start paying me your wage, eh?” Bob joked back, smile plastered over his face as he nudged Robert’s arm with his elbow, making it clear he was joking.

Robert didn’t see the funny side.

“Just do your job, I’ve got things to be getting on with,” Robert answered back dismissively, before turning to make his way back inside the building to hide himself away in his office.

“Sure thing, boss,” Bob called after him, rolling his eyes and shaking off Robert’s frustration as he turned and started shouting orders to the players as they worked through their drills.

Robert made his way through the corridors of the club headquarters, slamming the door of his office as he made his way inside to hide himself away from the rest of the world.

He took his phone out of his pocket, scrolling straight into the conversation with Aaron.

**_Robert:_ ** _Come up to my office after training. Bring Adam._

He pressed send and flung his phone across his desk, sitting down in his chair and attempting to distract himself with some paperwork, aware Aaron wouldn’t read his text until after training had finished.

He just had to wait.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

Aaron was showered and ready to leave before he reached inside his kit bag and checked his phone, finding Robert’s message.

He felt his chest inflate at the sight of it.

He nudged Adam, showing him the message on his screen.

“Mate, what d’you reckon he’s gonna say?” Adam asked, keeping his voice low and letting his eyes track around the changing room to check that nobody was listening in.

Aaron rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Knowing him?” he shrugged. “He wants to make sure you’re gonna keep your mouth shut.”

“And what about you and him?” Adam added.

Aaron felt his heart beat stutter, looking up and catching Adam’s eye.

There was something about hearing someone else refer to him and Robert in the same sentence, fully aware now of exactly what they were to one another.

It was almost comforting, in some way.

“I dunno, mate,” Aaron conceded as he slipped his phone back into his jeans pocket, an attempt at disinterest passing over his expression as he tried to play down the way his insides were churning with the possibilities.

“You reckon he’ll end it?” Adam pressed.

“I dunno, but I wish you’d hurry the fuck up so we can go and find out,” Aaron snapped, arms outstretched as he stood with his bag over his shoulder, ready and waiting for Adam to join him.

“Alright, alright,” Adam snapped back. “No need to have a go at me just because you’ve got yourself into this mess.”

“Just shut up and get ready, will ya?” Aaron pushed, his nerves getting the better of him as he watched Adam pulling his hoodie over his head before sitting down and pulling on his trainers, lacing them up quickly.

“Done,” Adam glared at him.

Aaron rolled his eyes and turned to leave the changing room, aware he probably owed Adam an apology for the way he’d spoken to him but equally feeling completely incapable of forming any sort of rational thought in the knowledge that he had been summoned up to Robert’s office for what could well be the end of their _whatever-it-was_ they had between them.

He paced through the corridors, aware of the sound of Adam following behind him, mind racing with the memory of the way Robert had avoided his gaze that morning in the same way he’d ignored his messages all night last night as well.

They reached Robert’s office and Aaron made his way inside, not bothering to knock, and Adam raised his eyebrows with how comfortable Aaron must have felt with Robert to be able to make his way into his office unannounced.

Adam followed Aaron in sheepishly, watching the way that his best mate and his boss stared each other out from across the room.

“Close the door,” Robert instructed Adam, who obliged dutifully.

“So you do remember I exist, then?” Aaron snapped at Robert, as soon as he heard the click of the door closing.

“Aaron, don’t – ” Robert started, but Aaron interrupted him, stepping forwards and leaning against Robert’s desk with his palms splayed.

“Don’t what?” he hissed at him over the desk. “Do you have any idea how it felt to have you ignore me all night last night, Robert?”

“Aaron, don’t do this here,” Robert begged of him, his voice measured as he stood up to get eye level with Aaron over his desk, glancing behind him to see Adam stood there listening.

Aaron noticed the flicker in Robert’s eye, and knew he was referring to Adam being in the room with them.

“He knows everything,” Aaron informed him. “I told him it all.”

Robert went pale, eyes wide with panic, and Aaron felt surprise for a passing moment as he realised the fear in Robert’s expression.

He wanted to reach out and hold him, to tell him everything was going to be okay, but he was so mad at Robert for his reaction the day before that he couldn’t bring himself to do it; he knew they weren’t in that place at the moment.

And he couldn’t help a lingering uneasy feeling about what Robert planned to say to him about the two of them in the wake of Adam finding out.

“Everything?” Robert questioned, his voice breaking slightly as he stepped backwards, glancing over at Adam.

“Relax, he’s not gonna tell anyone,” Aaron sighed, rolling his eyes as he watched for Robert’s composure to return.

“Vic?” he questioned, moving to the side so that he could see Adam properly.

“She’ll never know, not from me,” Adam reassured him, eager to stay in favour with his boss and possible future brother-in-law.

“You better not be lying – ”

“I promise you, mate,” Adam interrupted, his tone genuine as he stepped forward. “You have my word. It’s not my secret to tell, mate.”

Aaron watched on as Robert took in a deep breath, saw some of the unease seem to drift away from him slightly.

“If you dare – ”

“Honestly, Robert,” Adam interrupted again, more than a little annoyed that his boss clearly thought so little of him, “you don’t need to make threats, I’m not Ross. I’m not gonna use this against you, or anything like that. I just want what’s best for Aaron.”

Robert nodded slowly, Adam’s words seeming to calm him even further.

“Okay,” Robert conceded. “But don’t think this means I’m not still gonna watch you like a hawk to make sure you look after Victoria,” he added menacingly.

Adam swallowed down, aware that this might be as close to approval as he’ll get for now, and that maybe his knowledge about Robert’s affair with his best mate may have just handed him a lifeline to be able to be open about being with Vic now.

“You don’t need to worry there, Robert,” Adam assured him. “I think the world of her.”

“Good,” Robert replied with a flick of his eyebrows, before he glanced back at Aaron and gestured towards the door for Adam. “Do you mind giving us a sec?”

“Course, yeah, course,” Adam complied, nodding at Aaron as he turned to leave the room. “Shall I wait outside, or…?”

“He won’t be long,” Robert told him, rounding his desk to follow him towards the door to allow him to close it behind Adam as he left, completely missing Aaron’s crestfallen expression as his words.

Aaron felt like he was being treated like a child called to the principal’s office, or something – not like a fully grown adult in a room with the man he’d fallen in love with.

Wait.

_What?_

He cast those thoughts from his mind, looking up at Robert as he felt the touch of his hand against his own, Robert returning from the door to find himself stood in front of Aaron, looking him straight in the eye.

“Robert – ”

The words were ripped from him, Robert’s lips crashing against his own in desperation, taking him by surprise as Robert’s hands reached up to hold his face in his hands, one trickling backwards to stroke at the soft hair near the nape of his neck.

Aaron hesitated for a moment, taken off balance almost by the shock of Robert greeting him like he was doing, but he relented quickly, reciprocating the kiss in equal measure, bringing his hands up to Robert’s waist and shuffling his feet ever so slightly closer until they were tucked in between Robert’s, his body pressed tight up against his boss’s as he tilted his head, opening his lips to beckon Robert to slide his tongue alongside his own, groaning into the sensation of Robert opening up to him again like this.

He indulged himself in the sensation of the kiss; in the sound of the satisfied moans escaping Robert’s lips between kisses; at the desperate way Robert’s hands clung to the back of his neck , fingertips bound to be leaving marks on his skin; at the way Robert’s lips seemed so insistent against his own.

He’d been so sure Robert had called him up here to finish with him.

It was on that thought that Robert pulled away from him, keeping his eyes firmly closed as he took in a deep breath and rested his forehead against Aaron’s, hands dropping from Aaron’s face to his waist.

Aaron felt breathless for a moment, watching Robert’s pained expression as he seemed to try to breathe in the essence of their kiss for a few moments, as if he knew it might be the last chance he’d get.

And then Aaron realised.

“What was that?” Aaron asked, desperate for Robert to answer in a way which would contradict the coiling realisation in his gut.

Robert took a deep breath, opening his eyes on the exhale and pulling his head away from Aaron’s forehead slightly to allow him to look Aaron in the eye.

“That was it,” Robert answered, his voice faltering in a way he wasn’t even trying to hide anymore. “That was goodbye.”

And with that Robert took another deep breath to steel himself and stepped back from him.

Aaron felt the loss of Robert’s touch all the way down to his toes.

“No,” Aaron let out involuntarily, stepping forwards to close the gap between them again.

“You know it’s over,” Robert pleaded with him, voice almost at a whisper, trying to appeal to the rational side of Aaron that should have known Robert would have to give up on them, that it was always going to end one day and that now they’d been found out he couldn’t risk it any longer.

“You don’t have to do this, Robert,” Aaron tried to say as convincingly as he could, despite the tears starting to flow from him helplessly. “We can be more careful, we can be more – ”

“Aaron, please,” Robert attempted to keep his voice level as he spoke. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. It was always going to have to end.”

It felt like a dagger to Aaron’s heart, and he felt his attempts to remain composed obliterated by Robert’s words.

“Not yet, though,” Aaron tried, aware it was futile. “We’ve got months until the wedding, yet.”

Robert gritted his teeth, stepping away from Aaron’s touch and making his way back to his desk chair. He felt a sense of loss rushing through his veins but he refused to acknowledge it, aware of the facts in reality; that he had to push Aaron away, and he had to end things for the sake of his impending marriage, and for the sake of everything he’d worked for, everything his father had hoped for him. He took a deep breath and tried desperately to push down the feelings that he knew he couldn’t deny from himself any longer, forcing forwards the usual heartless exterior, battling against the pounding of his heart and the yearning of his body to reach out for Aaron, fighting for the power to walk away from this man stood before, this man who had changed his life.

He couldn’t let himself think like that, though. Not any longer. Too much had changed; there was too much at risk. He took a deep breath, levelling his expression once more, and forced out the words he knew would hit Aaron right where it hurt.

“I don’t know why you’re getting so upset,” Robert spoke calmly, now that he’d managed to regain his usual composure. “It was only ever a bit of fun,” he added coldly.

Aaron felt his heart break where he stood on the spot – almost couldn’t believe he could hear those words coming from Robert, the same man who’d told him so many things to contradict everything he was trying to make Aaron believe right now – and with that realisation, a fresh feeling of rage burnt through him to almost eclipse his heartbreak.  Robert was lying to himself, and he was lying to Aaron, and he had the audacity to think that Aaron wouldn’t be able to read his every move. Aaron clenched down on his jaw, his body thrumming with a mixture of heart break, anger and disappointment, and he sniffed in past his tears as he leant down on Robert’s desk again.

“You created this mess,” he hissed at Robert through gritted teeth, pointing at him with conviction. “ _You_ came after me, and _you_ made me fall for you, and now you can sit and pretend like this means nothing to you, but you know exactly what _this_ is,” he pointed between himself and Robert, in case his boss was left unsure what he was referring to. “Don’t you _dare_ try and tell me this meant nothing.”

He noticed the flicker in Robert’s expression, and he knew he’d hit a nerve. Robert’s attempts at nonchalance weren’t fooling him, but it only made his rage burn brighter with the thought that Robert would even try to play this card on him.

“Don’t contact me again, Robert,” he continued in the same bitter tone. “From now on, me and you are nothing to one another, you hear me? Nothing.”

He watched the way that Robert’s throat bobbed as he swallowed down, and he knew his outburst was having the desired effect; knew that Robert was close to crumbling again.

“I’m glad to be rid of you, you’re so messed up you’re even lying to yourself,” Aaron added angrily. “I’m better off without you anyway.”

With that, he stood upright, squaring his shoulders back as he watched Robert’s attempt to maintain his blank expression, and he turned to leave the room.

He half expected Robert to call out after him – wanted him to, despite everything he’d just said – but the call never came, even if Robert’s mouth hung half open behind him with an urge to beg him to come back to him, and Aaron opened the door and slammed it shut behind him, without so much as a glance back in Robert’s direction.

Adam was sat outside Robert’s office, waiting for Aaron, wide-eyed all of a sudden with the way that Aaron had stormed out.

“Mate, what – ”

“We’re going,” Aaron snapped, marching down the corridor without so much as a second glance.

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well then?” Adam tried light-heartedly as he broke into a jog to try and catch up with Aaron down the corridor.

One look from his best mate told him all he needed to know.

“Oh, bro – ”

“And I don’t wanna talk about it, so drop it,” Aaron stopped him, before he could go in too hard with the sympathy.

They didn’t say a word to each other the whole way home.

Aaron was pretty sure he’d be happy to never speak to another person for the remainder of his entire life; certainly Robert Sugden, anyway.

It wasn’t until he was back home later that night and in the safety of his own bedroom that he let himself break down – let the tears flow from his eyes as he tried to bury his head into his pillow to muffle the sound of his heartbreak.

He let himself admit it then; realised there was no point denying it.

He’d never felt for anyone what he felt for Robert.

He’d never loved anyone the way he loved Robert, and he was certain he never would again.

And another thing was for sure – he’d never felt loss quite like this, either.

Losing Robert Sugden _hurt_.

It hurt like hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! Sorry about the ansgty ending :/ (not sorry lmao).
> 
> If it makes you feel better this is only about two thirds of what I'd planned for this chapter but I couldn't wait to update so here it is - I'll be posting the second part asap but it will be a much shorter update than usual.
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @wellyfullofale


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful, lovely feedback to the last chapter! Sorry this update took longer than promised - especially after the ending - although it's at least a little quicker than the last update :) 
> 
> Warnings for a little hint of internalised biphobia in here. Or, Robert struggles to come to terms with his sexuality, I guess.

**Chapter Sixteen**

Robert knew he’d made a bad decision as soon as he felt the reverberation of Aaron’s door slam all the way through his office. He sat back in his chair, scrunching his eyes shut as he played their conversation over and over again on a loop in his mind.

He picked up a pen, attempting to get the paperwork done that was burning a hole in his desk, but he hadn’t got a hope in hell of being able to concentrate, and before long he found himself overcome with frustration again, flinging his pen across the room as he let out a groan of anger.

He couldn’t get Aaron’s words out of his head from earlier, the sound of them haunting him, running through his mind.

_I’m better off without you anyway._

Well that was true; that would always be true. Robert knew that – he didn’t need Aaron to confirm it – but the fact that he had done so had managed to just deepen Robert’s insecurities.

_I’m glad to be rid of you._

That hurt.

Robert prayed that it wasn’t true – that it was said only in anger, in the heat of the moment – but he couldn’t say he’d be surprised if Aaron had meant it.

And then there was one other thing that he couldn’t help but keep coming back to.

He wasn’t even sure Aaron knew he’d said it – was convinced it hadn’t been intentional – but it taunted him now as he sat surrounded by the echoes of the way that he’d lost Aaron.

_You made me fall for you._

That was news.

Aaron had fallen for him.

Aaron _loved_ him.

The realisation hit him with such force he forgot to breathe for a few seconds as his mind spiralled with the phrase on a loop.

 _Don’t you dare try and tell me this meant nothing,_ he’d said, too.

And it had meant something; he could never deny that.

Everything the two of them had done together – from the quick hook ups to the nights they’d stolen together, wrapped up in each other’s arms – all of it had meant something.

Robert had felt himself slipping in too deep for comfort – he’d scared himself with the depth of his own feelings and he’d tried to hide away from them, tried to pretend his feelings weren’t real, that they weren’t really happening to him and he’d found himself unable to deny it more with each time Aaron had looked at him and given him that secret smile that he reserved only for Robert.

It was real; all of it was real.

He couldn’t keep up pretending it wasn’t for much longer.

Aaron had fallen for him.

Aaron loved him.

He wasn’t on his own in this.

He felt a smile break out over his face, before the realisation hit him about what he’d done, with the way that he’d pushed Aaron away so coldly just moments earlier.

How could he have been so stupid?

He picked up his phone, hands shaking with the adrenaline of his need to speak to him again, finding Aaron’s number easily in his recently called list.

He felt a sense of apprehension as he realised that he didn’t know what he was going to say, and he laughed with it.

He needn’t have worried – he heard it dial out for just one ring before it clicked over to voicemail – and he knew then that Aaron was screening his call.

He thought about leaving a message, but he had no idea what to say, so he hung up before the beep and settled back into his chair, slumping into it with the realisation that he’d pushed Aaron away; that he’d been so cold to him that he’d left in a haze of anger, directed straight at Robert.

Aaron loved him.

Aaron loved him, and Robert had let him walk away; had turned that love into something altogether opposite.

He felt a rage burning up inside of him; anger trembling through his veins as he realised what he had done; how he might have lost Aaron forever.

Robert wasn’t one for tears – wasn’t going to let himself cry, over a _guy_ of all things – but he knew he had no one to blame for this but himself, and it was enough to make him groan out in frustration at himself.

He couldn’t believe he’d let himself get there; that he’d talked himself into giving Aaron up.

He couldn’t believe that he’d ever let himself think he could live without him.

He was in trouble; he was in _so much_ trouble.

Aaron had fallen for him, and he wasn’t even going to try and deny that he’d fallen all the way back.

He picked up his office phone and called through to his PA.

“Nicola, take my calls for the rest of the day,” he ordered.

 _“You what?”_ she deadpanned back down the line to him. _“But you’ve got BT Sport ringing you for that interview later, they want to talk about the game on Saturday.”_

“Nicola, listen to what I’m saying,” he interrupted her. “Take my calls, I don’t want to speak to anyone, okay?”

 _“Well are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”_ she pressed in that way that she always did. _“Why have you got Aaron Dingle storming off down the corridor in a blind rage? You haven’t dropped him again have you? Because I can’t be done with that number of phone calls coming through again that was a nightmare last time – ”_

“Nicola, stop asking questions and just take my calls, will you,” he almost shouted in an effort to get her to just _stop._ “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

“ _What about Chrissie?_ ” she asked casually.

“I don’t want to talk to her either,” he snapped at her.

Chrissie.

The sound of her name sent a chill through him.

He didn’t know if it was guilt, but it felt a lot more like resentment.

He _resented_ her.

He resented that she could give him this life that he’d got now – the lifestyle, the money, the cars, the job – but that she was never going to be enough for him.

He resented that she was the reason he couldn’t be with Aaron.

He knew deep down that it wasn’t her fault – all she had ever done was love him – but he resented that she hadn’t been more for him, that he hadn’t loved her the way that he loved Aaron.

He loved Aaron.

He _loved_ Aaron.

_He loved Aaron._

“ _Fine,”_ Nicola agreed, cutting through the spiralling panic of his thoughts, and Robert felt like he could see her rolling her eyes at him through the wall.

He hung up, and within seconds he was on his mobile again, dial tone buzzing in his ear as he called Aaron again, hearing the click through to voicemail after a couple of rings and sighing as he decided against leaving a message again.

He paced up and down his office, his head spinning with the admission that he’d made to himself seconds earlier, and he attempted to distract himself with paperwork as he fought a battle between shutting off his thoughts about Aaron and embracing them with every fibre of his being. He gave up on the paperwork, deciding instead to try and focus on watching re-runs of the match from the weekend before to analyse the team’s performance, but he only found himself indulging in the sight of Aaron in his football shorts as he ran around the pitch; expert at his craft in such a way that made him all the more attractive to Robert.

Damn, he wanted him.

 _He loved him_.

He cursed under his breath; couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid as to push him away.

It had been half an hour since he’d last tried to call Aaron, and with any sense of pride or dignity out of the door he gave in and dialled through to him once more. It went straight to voicemail this time, and Robert realised Aaron must have turned his phone off.

The beep of the voicemail came sooner than Robert was expecting, and he realised he had no choice but to leave a message.

“ _Aaron,”_ he started, feeling the slight tremble in his voice and hoping Aaron wouldn’t be able to notice it. _“Call me, please. We need to talk.”_

He hung up, before realising it wasn’t the most heartfelt of messages, not that it especially mattered seeing as he was pretty sure Aaron was going to delete it without listening to it anyway.

He looked at his watch, remembering the list of things he had on his to-do list for the day, but he knew his concentration was gone and that there was no way he was going to be able to do anything other than try to rectify his mistake with Aaron.

He grabbed his car keys and stormed out of his office, ignoring Nicola’s protestations as he paced down the corridor and away from her, away from his responsibilities, heading for the only person capable of dragging him out of his current mood.

 

 

-s-

 

 

He’d been driving for over an hour and he’d run out of places to look for Aaron.

His first stop had been Aaron and Adam’s house, but he’d found it empty and without any cars parked in the driveway he’d known he wasn’t just being ignored; next stop had been the pub down the road from Aaron’s house, but after showing his face in there and charging around the pub and into each of the cosy sections, getting stared at by each of the groups of people business-lunching or afternoon-drinking in there, he’d found his search fruitless once more. Afterwards he’d tried Aaron’s gym, barging his way through the member’s only entrance and ignoring the protestations of the reception staff as he surged around the expansive gym, through the changing rooms, and around the edge of the pool before giving up and storming back through reception.

He racked his brain for more options as to where Aaron could be, remembering how he’d heard Aaron and Adam talking about their afternoons up at the driving range one time, so he headed over there as a last resort, but found only a couple of groups of lads teeing off and an old retired couple struggling to work the ball dispenser machine.

He was all out of options.

He tried Aaron’s phone again, only to find it switched off every time.

His brain took him on a journey as he tried to find another option, and he found himself making the connection back to his sister and wondering whether he might have headed round to hers with Adam in order to break his world apart and tell her about the two of them out of some misguided taste for revenge.

He felt the panic rise up within him again, despite the sensible side of him repeatedly telling himself that Aaron would never do that to hurt him, but he found himself back behind the wheel of his car regardless, heading towards his sister’s house and praying for the first time that day that he wouldn’t find Aaron’s car when he got there.

He covered the fifteen minute journey in just over eight and half minutes, pulling onto Vic’s driveway and slamming on his brakes before getting out and knocking her door down.

She opened up a few seconds later, face full of concern until she realised it was her brother the other side of the door, and Robert noticed how her face softened instinctively and her arms opened wide before drawing him in for a hug.

He knew then that Aaron hadn’t told her.

He relaxed into her hug, feeling a weight lifting for a second, before she pulled away and held him at arms-length, a comforting grip on his elbows.

“You okay?” she asked, face forming into a frown.

He sighed, realising just how _not-okay_ he actually was.

“Can I come in?” he asked, unable to even pretend to be fine, not with Vic here, not when he knew how well Vic could usually see through him.

“’Course,” she smiled, moving to the side to usher him through and closing the door behind her. “I’ll put the kettle on,” she said comfortingly, following Robert through to her kitchen.

Vic managed to fill the room with her usual stream of consciousness, telling Robert all about how Andy was getting on after hearing from him earlier that day, and that his step-mum Diane and her new man Doug were planning some cruise at some point in the year. Robert lost interest in the content of her ramblings, but he found comfort in the way that she made spending time in her presence so easy; so comforting.

And he couldn’t help but notice how she seemed so much happier lately. He resented the realisation that that might have been Adam Barton’s fault.

He sat himself down on one of the chairs at her kitchen table, smiling with thanks as she offered him a cup of sweet tea – sweeter than he would like as Vic had never got used to the way he’d changed his tea-drinking habits in adult life, but he drank it anyway – and she fixed him with that concerned look that reminded him so much of his mother that it made him smile and filled him with melancholy all at once.

“So, what is it?” she asked, looking up at him with those big, brown, concerned eyes of hers.

He sighed, taking a sip of tea.

He tried to formulate the words in his mind; tried to find a way to get his feelings out, to explain why he’d turned up at her house in a fluster with no logical excuse for it.

“Nothing,” he replied after a longer-than-necessary pause, shaking his head as he looked down to the ground, attempting to brush her concern off and finding himself incapable of offering her anything in the way of an explanation for his dishevelled state.

She reached over and placed a hand against his forearm, grounding him slightly.

“Robert, you can talk to me,” she assured him. “There’s something up with you, I can tell. Since when have you ever just shown up here unannounced when you weren’t after something?”

She smiled with it, and it neutralised the acidity of her words, and Robert couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Is it Chrissie?” she asked, intrigued.

Robert sighed, almost with a laugh on his breath, before shaking his head.

“It’s nothing, Vic, honestly,” he tried to sate her, but she rolled her eyes at him and he knew there was no getting out of it.

“Robert, come on, I ain’t having that,” she pressed, wide eyes watching every nuance in his expression.

Vic waited, giving him all the time he needed, and he found his heart rate returning to the steadiest it probably had been all afternoon as he tried to fabricate enough  of a reason for his current agitated state that she might drop the topic and move on.

“It’s…I’ve…I’ve lost something,” he stuttered out, failing to find anything close to a believable excuse.  “Something important,” he added, Aaron’s face flashing before his eyes as he said it, the words feeling like so much of an admission to him that his pulse spiked once more.

“Okay,” she replied, drawing out the vowel to show her confusion. “So, where did you last have it?”

Robert could see the frown on her face – the way her eyes were narrowed and her head was nodding slowly like she was talking to a child – and he laughed under his breath.

“It’s not like that,” he dismissed her, taking another sip of tea.

“Okay, so how is it?” she asked, not even attempting to mask the confusion on her face. “I don’t understand, why are you talking in riddles, Rob?”

For a second he resigned himself to it, let himself believe that she might be okay with it.

“I’ve been…I’ve…no, god, it doesn’t matter,” he faltered, before putting his cup down and getting up to walk away.

She stopped him; grabbing his arm and pulling him back down into his chair.

“Robert, stop,” she pleaded as she looked up at him, eyes brimming over with concern. “You’ve come here because you need to tell me something. You need to talk to someone, you look an absolute state.  Will you just spit it out?”

He looked over at her, those inquisitive eyes watching his every move, and he felt himself almost draw strength from her. He knew he could trust her, knew whatever he told her wouldn’t go any further, but he knew he didn’t have the strength within himself to say it yet.

He was angry at himself, and agitated, and he needed to see Aaron more than he needed oxygen, but as much as he might have been able to admit to himself that Aaron was _something_ to him – that he was important, and that Robert needed him – he wasn’t at the stage of telling Vic about himself.

That was a whole conversation for another day; a day so far in the future that Robert doubted it even existed.

“I’ve done something stupid,” he admitted eventually, aware there were parts of his truth that he could tell her about, even if it was never going to be the whole story.

He did feel the need to get some of it off his chest, at least.

Vic paused, still with a hold of Robert’s arm, and she looked up at him as she noticed that look in his eye; the one she remembered seeing whenever she mentioned their father; the one that she couldn’t quite read properly, but which told her he needed her comfort. She stood up and rounded the table, wrapping an arm around her brother’s shoulders and drawing him into her side for a hug, feeling him sink into her arms for a second longer than was necessary.

“I’m your little sister, Robert. You can tell me anything,” she told him as she felt his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her in further. “I’m always gonna love you, you know that?”

He felt the warmth of her words run through him as she returned to her chair, her hands still wrapped around his arms, and for a half a second he let himself believe that he might actually be able to tell her it all.

“Yeah, I know,” he answered her with a flicker of a sad smile.

“So, come on then,” she smiled encouragingly. “Do your worst!”

He clenched his jaw and set his tea down on the table, sitting back down and leaning back in his chair as he took in a deep breath.

“Adam hasn’t told you then?” he asked under his breath, looking over at her to gauge her reaction at realising that Robert knew about them.

“Adam?” she questioned, but he could see the way that her eyes went wide with panic for a half second.

“I’m not stupid, Victoria. I know you’re seeing him.”

She seemed thrown off course for a second, before she swallowed down and realised there was no point in trying to hide it.

“It’s new,” she shrugged. “It’s all a bit new. But I like him, he makes me happy. So please don’t come down too hard on him,” she pleaded, complete with her soft voice, head tilt and widened eyes.

He frowned, rolling his eyes at her.

“Did you have to pick a footballer?” he complained, only partly serious.

“I picked someone who’s making me happy, so far,” she told him honestly, cutting him off before he had the chance to pass any further judgement on her choice of men. “And how did you find out about it, anyway?”

Robert paused, realising he could hardly tell her he was seeing Adam’s best mate and had overheard Adam talking about her when he’d been hiding in Aaron Dingle’s bedroom the other night.

“It’s my job to know what my players are up to,” he shrugged, thankful for his ability to find a lie so quickly.

She seemed to accept that fairly easily, before changing the subject back to Robert.

“Anyway, you’re not here to talk to me about Adam,” she narrowed her eyes, cutting straight back to the point again. “You’re here to talk about something else, Robert, so come on and spill, will ya?”

He took in a deep breath again, closing his eyes and only seeing Aaron’s face behind his eyelids, aware that all he really wanted to tell her was that he’d found someone who set his heart on fire and made him feel alive for the first time in his life, and so what if that person happened to be a man?

Only he couldn’t tell her that; he couldn’t get those words out.

“I can’t tell you, Victoria,” he admitted to her, honestly.

“Why not?” she questioned, seeming almost offended by her brother’s inability to just say what was troubling him. “What’s so bad that you think I’m gonna sit here and have a go?”

He thought to himself for a second – entertained it for longer than he’d dared to do so before – that he could actually tell her, say those words to her, knowing it would go no further; knowing she would never tell anyone else.

Adam knew, after all – maybe it was only a matter of time before she found out anyway.

_I’m sleeping with a guy._

That was all it would take; five tiny words; a second of sound falling from his lips, and it would all be over.

But there was something stopping him; there was _always_ something stopping him, the words sticking to the back of his throat, finding himself unable to formulate that sentence, fear clogging his thought process as he realised he didn’t know how to picture her reaction to his admission; had no idea where they go once he’d managed to get those words out.

He couldn’t face her reacting like his dad had done all those years ago.

Would she even understand if he found the courage to say that word he barely understood the meaning to himself; the label he wasn’t sure he was worthy of wearing, even if it was starting to feel like it could actually fit him properly.

_Bisexual._

_I’m bisexual._

And even if she got it – even if she didn’t hate him for what he’d done across Chrissie, and across Aaron, for that matter – even if she didn’t hate him, what was she going to be able to do to help him, anyway?

He knew exactly what she’d say, because it was what that one side of his head was telling him – the side that was controlled by his heart – and it was telling him that he needed to make a choice, and he needed to be strong and to do what made him happy. It was the side of his head that kept reminding him that no one came close to Aaron; that he’d never feel about anyone the way he did about Aaron Dingle.

“I’ve been,” he hesitated, breaking the silence, throwing his head into his hands, covering his eyes. “Oh god, I can’t tell you –”

“Just, tell me Robert,” Vic pleaded, exasperated now by the way her broken brother refused to open up to her. “Look, you’re my big brother. I’m always gonna love you, and yeah, okay, sometimes you do stuff that’s a bit stupid, but Robert Jacob Sugden, I love you and that is all that matters to me.”

He looked up at her – saw that honesty, that truth in her eyes – and he knew he could trust her, with anything.

He just couldn’t say the words.

He offered her a half-truth instead, though.

“I’ve been seeing someone,” he let out quietly.

He regretted it as soon as the words had left his mouth; could see the look of shock and horror on his little sister’s face as he realised he’d let her down.

“Robert!” she lamented after a shocked pause, eyes wide with surprise. “What about Chrissie?”

He groaned as soon as he heard it; knew it would have been her reaction, would be any decent person’s reaction to what he’d just told her.

She pulled her arms away from him, as if she was trying to get some distance from him, and he felt the regret coiling in the pit of his stomach, wishing the ground would swallow him down into some time vortex where he could rewind back to an hour ago and decide against driving to Vic’s in search of Aaron.

“I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” he backtracked, getting himself up to leave. “I knew you wouldn’t get it. Forget I said anything,” he snapped as he grabbed his coat off the side and tried to leave.

“Wait! Robert, don’t go,” she called out after him, following him into the hallway and pulling him back by his arm. “Look, I said you could talk to me, and I meant it. Just sit down,” she pleaded.

He stood stock still for a moment, looking down at his little sister as he tried to ignore the disappointment evident all over her face. He sighed, before obliging with her request despite himself as he followed her back into the kitchen and into the chair he’d just tried to vacate seconds earlier.

She sat back down opposite him, and he could tell she was trying to keep her reaction as measured as she could master.

“Who is it?” she asked after a pensive pause, her voice light as if she was trying to remain as calm as possible.

“No-one,” he said quickly; too quickly. “No-one important,” he lied.

Aaron was the most important.

“Robert, don’t lie,” she sulked, regarding him with an unimpressed look in her eye. “It’s clearly someone important else you wouldn’t be in this state about it.”

There was Vic and her ability to read him, Robert thought to himself, realising she was right. Aaron was possibly becoming more important to him than anyone he’d ever known.

“We got caught,” he said, changing the subject as best he could.

“By Chrissie?” Vic asked instinctively, wide-eyed with suspense.

“No, no, someone else,” he answered her, looking to the ground as the idea of Chrissie finding him and Aaron in the position Adam had found them in the day before haunted him for a second. “Someone at the club,” he added vaguely.

“Oh, and what – are they threatening to tell Chrissie?” her voice was forceful in some way, as if she was ready to go into battle with whoever was making threats against her brother.

“No,” he shrugged her defensive streak off quickly. “No, they’re not going to tell her, they’re not going to say anything.”

“So, I don’t get what you want me to say, Robert,” she admitted after a brief moment’s pause. “You made a mistake and you got caught, but if they’re really not gonna say anything then take it as a warning that you need to sort yourself out and stop being such an idiot, and let yourself move on. Your whole life is wrapped up in Chrissie. Your job, Robert, your home, what are you thinking –”

“I know, I know,” he admitted, raising his voice slightly to talk over her as her reaction spiralled, thoughts flowing from her at a mile a minute without any filter. He was aware that Vic was right – everything rested on Chrissie and Lawrence, but he knew there was one clear reason why he couldn’t just walk away. “I know I’ve been stupid, Vic, but,” he faltered, because he couldn’t finish that sentence without telling her the full extent of it, couldn’t even properly admit it to himself, and there was the painstakingly obvious part that he was missing out from this whole story – that the someone he had been fucking just happened to be a _guy;_ and a guy that she knew as well.

But he was never going to tell her that part, was he?

And he knew that if he couldn’t tell Victoria now – _Victoria_ , of all people – then how was he ever going to be able to tell anybody else; tell the world? How was he ever going to be able to – _what_ – be with Aaron? Was he actually considering that now? Was that where his head was at now?

No chance.

He laughed to himself – more from shame and pity at that aching realisation than at anything actually amusing – and Victoria scrunched her eyes up at him in response, not understanding why her brother had suddenly found a sense of humour in the midst of his agony.

“What?” Vic asked him, frowned etched into her face as she regarded her brother’s expression, unable to decipher it.

Robert looked back at her as his mind wandered; as he thought to himself about what he was doing at his sister’s house; what he was actually considering about himself and Aaron and their chance of a future. It was almost laughable to him – the idea that he could ever have what he really wanted with Aaron; that he could ever allow himself to be _happy,_ and settled with that man in the same way that he pretended he was with Chrissie. He knew, without even having to think about it for any length of time, that any notion of that happening was nothing more than a pipe dream; that he’d never have the strength to give that part of himself to Aaron.

To let the world see him giving that part of himself to Aaron.

He wasn’t capable of that; he knew he wasn’t.

He didn’t have Aaron’s strength, after all.

But _god,_ how he wished he did.

_You’re so messed up you’re even lying to yourself._

Those had been Aaron’s words to him earlier that day.

He couldn’t deny them.

He remembered the pain coiling in the pit of his stomach at hearing Aaron say those words to him, and seeing the look on Aarons face – the disappointment, devastation, heartbreak – etched into every line of Aarons face as he saw him in his office earlier that day.

He never wanted to see that look on Aarons face again.

But he didn’t have the strength to do the one thing Aaron needed him to; to give Aaron that one part of himself that would make him smile again.

He grimaced, clenching his teeth as he looked to the floor.

“What, Robert?” Vic questioned him again, cutting through the pained silence that had fallen between them as Robert got himself carried away with his thoughts.

She frowned, eyebrows knitted together, looking at him like she didn’t recognise the man in front of her.

 _If only she knew_ , Robert thought to himself.

“Robert,” she continued as she realised her brother was still not answering her. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but you’re clearly a mess. Let me break this down for you. You’ve slept with someone behind Chrissie’s back?”

He nodded reluctantly, but he’d already told her that truth anyway, it wasn’t like admitting it again was going to make her think even less of him.

“And you got caught?”

He nodded again.

“But whoever caught you is definitely not going to say anything? To Chrissie? Or to anyone?”

He swallowed down, raising his head to look her in the eye again, before nodding once more.

“So you got away with it, but now you’re panicking because you think it was too close to home and maybe one day if you do the same thing again then Chrissie might find out?”

It was definitely a question, not a statement of fact like the previous three things she’d said, and this time around Robert didn’t nod in response to it. It wasn’t really the truth, after all – he wasn’t in this state because of a fear of losing Chrissie.

He was in this state because of the fear of losing Aaron; or more likely, a fear that he had already lost him for good.

“She won’t find out, now,” he replied to his sister, shaking his head solemnly. “It won’t happen again.”

“What is this then?” Vic almost laughed in response, nearing the end of her patience with him. “A guilty conscience? Do you want to come clean to her?”

“God no,” he replied without hesitation - he had no intention of doing anything that stupid.

“What then?” Vic pushed, her voice betraying how his vague explanations were wearing thin.

He sighed again, rolling his head back on his shoulders as he prepared to make another admission to her.

“It’s just,” he started, hesitating. “The person I’m seeing...I’ve...it’s been…it’s been going on for a while.”

He avoided her gaze as he looked down to the floor, but even so he could sense the cogs turning, could see her reaction forming in his peripheral vision.

Her face widened as she made the realisation.

“Oh, god,” she said, it dawning all over her. “You’re in love with her.”

“What?” he frowned; the question confusing Robert for a second because there was no _her_ in all of his mess besides Chrissie, and he thought that any statement about him loving her should have been obvious.

“The girl you’re cheating with,” Vic responded, her words cutting through him like a knife. “You’re in love with her.”

And there it was.

The truth wrapped up in the biggest lie of Robert’s life.

He was in love, all right, but there was no _her_ – there was only Aaron.

He was in love with Aaron.

He swallowed down; his subconscious deciding to affirm Vic’s question with the slightest of barely-there nods as he felt a swelling inside his chest, realising this was perhaps the point at which he stopped lying to himself; stopped pretending he was anything other than completely, wholeheartedly, besottedly in love with Aaron Dingle.

 “Shit,” Vic replied, mouth gaping wide open in shock. “Robert,” she sighed, rounding the table and instinctively taking him in her arms.

He felt himself crumbling into her embrace.

“I ended it,” he told her, voice muffled as he leant into her pink hoodie. “I panicked, and I ended it, and you should have seen the look - ,”

He stopped himself, realised he needed to be careful not to say Aaron’s name, not to say _he_ or _him_.

“You should have seen the look in their eye as they walked away from me,” he finished, voice cracking slightly. “I had to end it,” he admitted, painfully.

Vic continued to hold him close to her, Robert slowly relenting as he let himself get wrapped up in her comforting arms for a while, until she let him go and made her way back to her chair, looking at him over the breakfast table.

“Robert, have you thought about whether,” she stuttered, seemed as if she wasn’t sure she should have been saying what she was about to say, but she knew she needed to.

“What?” Robert asked, impatient, needing to know what she was thinking; whether she hated him as much as he hated himself.

“Well, this other woman,” Vic started to ask carefully.

His stomach dropped again as the half lie resurfaced.

“If you feel this cut up about having to walk away from her,” Vic continued. “Are you sure it’s the right thing to do?”

Robert sighed, so aware of the sense behind her words but equally as aware of the fact that him and Aaron could never be together; that he’d never see himself in a place where he could stand up and tell the world who he really was.

“It’s like you said, Victoria,” he sighed as he answered her with a heavy heart. “Everything I’ve got is tied up in Chrissie. My home, my job, my _career_ – ,”

“But if you don’t love her – ,”

“I do love Chrissie,” he interrupted her ardently, sure there was a truth to his words despite it all.

“Are you sure?” Vic asked him; frown on her face betraying her disbelief in his words.  “You are sleeping with someone else, Robert. You’ve _fallen in love_ with someone else. What do you think is gonna happen in the future? You think you’ll just get over this other woman and then, what? Marry Chrissie? And always be happy, never be tempted again? You can’t stay with someone just because they’re rich and their dad’s given you a job, Robert.”

Robert knew she was right – knew he was never going to not want Aaron; was never going to be able to keep away from him in the long term. He was never going to look into those eyes and not feel weak; never going to be able to resist that temptation; never going to not want to knock on that door again.

He knew that even though he’d tried to end things, it was only a matter of time before they fell back together. It was the reason he’d found himself at his sister’s in the first place, after desperately trying to scramble back the mistake he’d made by pushing Aaron away.

“You need to think this through, Robert,” Vic interrupted his thoughts. “You need to work out what you want.”

He knew he didn’t even need to think about that.

He wanted Aaron.

There should be nothing more to it.

Except that there was.

“I’m not leaving Chrissie,” Robert stated defiantly, more than a hint of resignation in his voice.

“Robert – ,”

“I’m not leaving Chrissie,” he repeated. “I can’t,” he added, looking to the floor.

He could tell Vic was about to protest some more until she was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking down her front door, and she sighed as she realised her heart to heart with her older brother would have to be over.

“It’s Adam,” she announced sheepishly, like she had any reason to think her brother should have a say in who she was dating.

Robert gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes, a fear gripping him as he realised how close this all was to home – how close the man who knew about him and Aaron was to the sister he never wanted to even have any reason to suspect.

The banging started again.

“You better answer it, then,” Robert instructed her, standing up from the breakfast table they had been sat at together and sliding his phone out of his pocket to check the time before slipping it away again.

He felt his heart sink a little at the lack of notifications; that Aaron still hadn’t returned his calls.

Vic stood up and gave her brother a hug as he made his way to leave – short and fleeting in its presence, maybe, but Vic squeezed him tight enough to let him know she wasn’t giving up on him any time soon.

“Look after yourself, Robert,” she smiled at him as she neared the door. “And I’m here, if you need me.”

He smiled at her as the door knocked for a third time, Vic almost swinging the door open mid-knock until Robert stopped her.

“Cheers, sis,” Robert smiled at her, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. “And please, don’t say a word to him,” he nodded to the other side of the door where he knew Adam was standing. “I don’t want word spreading around the club.”

He knew it might be futile, seeing as Adam knew more than his sister did anyway, but the thought of the two of them sat up talking about his poor life decisions – and potentially Adam assuming Vic knew as much as he did and spilling the news that it was Aaron in his bed – made a cold sweat creep over him.

“Of course not,” she assured him, squeezing his elbow one last time before opening the door.

“Oh, hi,” Adam greeted them as the door swung open, his mouth agape as he looked between the two of them and tried to gauge where he could fit into a Sugden family get together.

“Don’t worry, he’s just leaving,” Vic assured Adam with a smile. “And he knows. About us,” she added sheepishly, unaware that Adam already knew all about that too.

Adam nodded in reply, eyes flicking back and forth between the pair of them.

“Oh, right, how you doing gaffer?” he said eventually, his unease for the situation between himself and Robert being easily passed off as unease for Robert finding out about him and Vic.

“Fine,” Robert replied bluntly. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he added.

Adam coughed.

“No reason,” he shrugged, attempting and failing at casual.

“See you then, Rob,” Vic said, giving her brother his cue to leave.

“Yeah, see you Vic,” he replied.

Robert let Adam hold his gaze for a few more tortured seconds until he broke away and moved outside of the door, brushing past Adam as he went by.

“Don’t say a word,” he whispered into Adam’s ear as he passed him by, not stopping to check for a reaction as he made his way back to his car, overhearing his sister and Adam whispering to one another as she let him inside her house, his heart hammering inside his chest at the thought of what the two of them could have to say to one another.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

Robert had been driving for what seemed like forever – letting the open road and the cold air whipping through his open windows sort his thoughts somewhat – when he came to a decision in his mind and pulled over into a layby on a deserted country lane.

He picked up his phone and steeled his nerves before dialling the first number in his phone book.

It dialled out for three rings before the voicemail kicked in – _again_ – Robert listening to the condescending woman telling him how to leave a voicemail with more than a hint of impatience before he finally heard the beep, aware of what he was going to say, how he’d managed to find the words in the hour he’d been driving around aimlessly.

 _“Aaron, it’s me,”_ he started, his voice quiet as if he thought someone might be able to hear him. _“Please don’t hang up, or delete this message, or whatever you were going to do. I’m sorry,”_ he paused, feeling the weight of the words that were leaving him. _“I’m sorry I acted like a dick today, I regretted it as soon as you walked out. I made a mistake, and I don’t want it to be over. I don’t want us to be over. I need you Aaron. Please, just call me back. I can’t stand this. I…”_ he paused, words sticking to the back of his throat, _“…you mean a lot to me, Aaron. I shouldn’t have tried make out that you didn’t. Call me, please.”_

He hung up and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as the fresh Yorkshire air seeped from his lungs and gave him some clarity.

He’d realised how much he’d overreacted to Adam finding them, and he’d realised he didn’t need to act so hastily in ending things between the two of them. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to function whilst Aaron was mad at him; knew he needed to make amends with the man who he couldn’t shift from his thoughts.

He wanted to be with Aaron.

He’d realised that now.

And although he also knew he wasn’t in a place to tell the world about himself, he resigned himself to the knowledge that he could continue things with Aaron behind closed doors, away from prying eyes. They could carry on as they were, but just make sure they were more careful.

He could stay with Chrissie, and she need never know about him and Aaron.

Hell, maybe Adam knowing about the two of them could work in their favour – give them somewhere to be able to spend time together, without having to sneak around all of the time.

However they worked it out, one thing he’d realised for sure was that he couldn’t stay away from Aaron; it wasn’t going to work.

He just needed to find a way to make amends.

His ring tone sparked into life, and without giving his in-car Bluetooth the chance to identify the caller ID, he answered.

“Aaron?” he pleaded, hoping it was the younger man on the other end of the phone.

“Err, not last time I checked,” came the playful, sultry sound of his fiancée over the car speakers. “Sorry to disappoint,” she added jokingly.

He sighed, hoping she couldn’t hear him.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you never disappoint,” he flirted back, despite the ache in the bottom of his stomach.

“How’s your day going?” she asked lightly.

 _Terrible,_ he thought to himself.

“Great,” he answered instead. “Just about to leave the office,” he lied.

“Don’t suppose you could stop at the dry cleaners on your way back?” she asked sweetly, putting on her best pleading voice. “I forgot to pick up a dress I took in and I was hoping to wear it for our dinner at the Jones’s tonight,” she added, Robert’s heart sinking as her words reminded him that they were out for dinner that evening.

He needed that like a hole in the head.

He looked at his watch – it was approaching five thirty, he had just enough time to get to the dry cleaners before they closed at six as long as put his foot down.

He started his engine and pulled out of the layby.

“Of course, as long as I can get there in time,” he replied, hoping he was successful in keeping his tone as light as possible.

“I love you, you’re the best,” she purred down the line to him.

It only left him feeling empty.

“Why wouldn’t you?” he replied flirtatiously as he navigated the country roads to take him towards the dry cleaners. “I better go, anyway, I need to keep the line clear.”

“Oh, okay,” she seemed slightly affronted with getting cut off like that, but she tried to hide it as best she could. “Pick up a nice bottle of red for us to take around there, too.”

“They’ll have wine, Chrissie,” he rolled his eyes at her.

“We can’t turn up empty handed, Robert,” she chastised him. “And besides, then you can make sure you like the bottle you end up drinking.”

She did have a point there, even if last time they’d been for a dinner party he’d taken a bottle of expensive red and had ended up being served a cheap bottle of Blossom Hill anyway.

“Fine, see you in a bit,” he relented, knowing when to pick his battles.

“Bye, darling,” she said as Robert ended the call, her words barely coming through before Robert hung up.

He flicked the screen of his phone to see he’d had any missed calls from Aaron whilst he’d been on with Chrissie, but felt his heart sink when he saw nothing there.

He wondered at what point he’d have to give up trying.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

The meal had been a torturous night, and Robert had not-surprisingly found himself distant for most of the evening. Chrissie hadn’t been totally oblivious to it, asking him about it once they were back home, but he’d managed to quell her questions with excuses about stress at work.

The working day he was currently attempting to oversee was just as torturous and much for the same reason.

It was match day – they had a midweek night game against one of their biggest rivals for the title – and Robert’s mind couldn’t have been further from the match as he went through the motions for the morning with Chrissie as she dragged him to a meeting with their wedding planner to decide on chair covers and cakes.

He’d been distracted by looking at his insistently silent phone all morning, desperate for something from the brunet lad that he couldn’t get out of his mind, and even the lure of cake tasting couldn’t help him crack a smile.

They all tasted the same to him, anyway.

“Whichever one you prefer,” he’d said to Chrissie, the same words leaving his lips time and time again as the morning progressed and his fiancée and their wedding planner went through the options in painstaking detail.

It was three hours of his life he would never get back again.

Three hours of his life when he could have been attempting to patch things up with Aaron.

Chrissie persuaded him to take her out for lunch afterwards – despite all the cake they’d indulged in – and by the time they finally pulled up back at their home it was mid-afternoon and more than reasonable for him to make his way to the club to prepare for the night’s game.

He’d seen Aaron as soon as he’d turned up on the car park – had waited in his car for a while in the hope that he’d have the chance to talk to him before preparations for the game started – but he found himself blanked by the younger man as soon as he tried to approach him in the car park.

“Aaron, please talk to me,” he pleaded as he tried to fall in step alongside Aaron as they walked from the car park and into the reception area of the club.

Aaron’s expression maintained an air of disinterest, and Robert could see the muscles of his face twitching as he clenched his jaw, his pace almost impossible to keep up with as Robert tried to walk alongside him.

“Leave me alone,” Aaron muttered as they made their way through the corridors of the club, towards the changing rooms. “You made your feelings pretty clear yesterday, Robert.”

Robert pulled Aaron back by the sleeve of his jacket, stopping him in the hallway for a half a second before he flinched away from Robert’s touch, looking him straight in the eye before he turned on his heels and walked away from Robert, into the safety of the changing rooms where he knew his boss wouldn’t follow him.

Robert made his way out onto the training pitch and tried to occupy his thoughts by discussing tactics with Bob, but his mind was elsewhere, and he found himself struggling to make sense of the formation Bob was suggesting for the game.

“Go with whatever you want,” Robert disregarded Bob as soon as Aaron emerged from the changing rooms, unaware of the way Bob settled with a proud expression on his face as he made off to fill out the team sheet for the game.

“Aaron, please,” Robert begged as Aaron passed by him, but he shrugged away from Robert’s touch again, and found a set of cones over the other side of the pitch to do his drills on, as far away from Robert as he could get.

Robert watched him in the pre-match training, hardly tore his eyes away for more than a second as he lost all focus on anything other than Aaron Dingle and the fact that Aaron Dingle was refusing to listen to his apology.

It crossed his mind that maybe he really _had_ lost him, after all.

The mere suggestion of it sent a jolt of pain coursing through him.

The training session passed by eventually – seconds dragging by bit by bit as Robert spiralled into his own thoughts about Aaron – but he ended up being pulled away from the players for his media commitments, aware that he wouldn’t see Aaron again until his team talk before the match.

He could barely function as he tried to answer the media’s questions, aware that he wasn’t performing to his usual charming standard, but everything that mattered was crashing down around him, and he didn’t have the strength to try and pretend he was okay.

Aaron avoided his eye throughout the team talk, and made sure he darted outside of the changing rooms and into the tunnel before giving Robert even half a chance to be alone with him.

He was determined to play this game angry.

Robert could already feel Aaron slipping through his fingers as he came to realise he couldn’t care less about the result.

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

It was just as well.

They were 3-0 down at half time, the opposition’s third goal being a dubious penalty on the stroke of the half time whistle that Robert had found himself so incensed at that he’d argued with the fourth official over and found himself sent to the stands by the referee.

He obliged, realising how his actions were going to get him a place in the sports headlines the next day but finding that he couldn’t care less anyway as he was walked away from the pitch side dugouts by one of the officials and taken to the directors box in the stands where he would have to watch the rest of the game.

He stayed up there for the half time team talk, realising the rage coursing through his bloodstream probably wasn’t going to be best helpful, and that Bob’s influence might be better welcomed by his players in need of inspiration.

He watched on as the players came out for the second half, the rain lashing down in the their faces to make matters worse, fans starting to get on the backs of the players as they seemed to be on the end of all of the bad luck of the game.

Robert focused his attention on Aaron as the second half got underway, could almost feel the anger radiating from him as he went for every ball, shrugging off every challenge from the opposition, refusing to pass to anyone else on the pitch.

It was only five minutes into the second half when Aaron found himself on the receiving end of a quality pass from Ross Barton – a rare bit of quality in what had been an otherwise appalling match so far – and Robert watched on as Aaron spun on his heels and headed for goal.

It was almost in slow motion as Robert saw the defender approaching, sensed the tackle coming in before it had even taken place, and he winced as he watched the defender’s legs get tangled up with Aaron’s as he was brought to the ground.

He stood up and called out in outrage, appealing for the foul to the referee along with the other 40,000 home fans inside of the stadium, but his attention was drawn back to Aaron as he noticed Aaron pinging back up to his feet from where he’d been lying on the ground.

He was advancing towards their defender at an alarming rate – look of pure venom in his eyes – and before the rest of either of their teammates could reach the pair of them, Aaron was squaring up to the played who’d brought him down seconds earlier, face mere inches from his adversary.

Robert watched on as he could see Adam racing towards them, but before he could reach his best mate and pull him away – pull him back into his senses – Aaron was jolting forwards as his head connected with the bridge of the defender’s nose, and he was falling to the floor as he held his face.

Robert couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

A mixed reaction shook through the stadium – boos from the away fans met with a stunned silence from the family enclosure, and rapturous applause from the noisy crowd behind the goal end as they erupted into a chant celebrating the fight on the pitch like a baying crowd of teenagers on a high school playing field.

Adam reached where the altercation was happening and pulled Aaron away from the swarming set of opposition players out for revenge, protecting his friend as the two teams flooded towards the scene like moths to a flame, some of them out for blood, some of them out for peace.

The referee pulled the players apart, the more sensible players on each side keeping the hot-headed players away from one another as things started to calm down on the pitch, but Robert could see from where he was sat that the player Aaron had head-butted was bleeding heavily, and he knew his striker was in trouble.

Sure enough, seconds later the referee blew his whistle and raised his red card to Aaron’s face, and Adam guided his best mate down towards the tunnel, away from the jeers of the opposition players.

A chorus of boos rang around the pitch – mostly from the away fans, but some of the home fans joining in, incensed that Aaron’s violence had caused them to lose a player on the pitch and caused them to be at even less of an advantage now they were playing with ten men.

Aaron kept his head down the whole way, doing his best to ignore the noise coming from the stands as he did the walk of shame back into the dressing room.

As they passed by under the stand Robert was now sat in, he noticed how Adam glanced up at him and caught his eye, confirming all he needed to know.

Robert had caused this.

Robert had pushed Aaron away, and pushed him to the edge, and this was how Aaron had reacted.

He’d remembered reading about the past of Aaron Dingle before joining the club – knew he’d had a reputation at one time for being ruthless and unforgiving – but once he’d joined the club, and once he’d got to know Aaron, he’d been so sure the violence was all behind him.

What he’d done to Aaron had summoned it back.

He’d caused it.

And he knew he had to make it right.

When the crowd had settled moments later and the game was underway again, Robert slipped away from his seat in the stands and made his way down to the changing rooms.

He knew what he was doing.

He knew how this worked.

He’d been sent off enough times in his days as a player that he knew that part of the punishment was to hide yourself away in the changing rooms, alone, left to think about what you’d done.

He knew where Aaron would be, and he knew that Aaron would be alone in there too.

He walked down the familiar corridors at pace, the sound of the crowd filtering through and bearing down on him, hordes of home supporters berating their players at what Robert knew was one of their worst displays of football all season.

He couldn’t help but feel completely responsible, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care.

There was only one thing his mind could focus on.

He reached the changing rooms, pausing for a second to listen through the doorway before pushing the door open, taking a quick glance out down the tunnel and towards the pitch to make sure nobody was around.

He took a deep breath and walked inside, surprised to find it empty, had expected to see Aaron pacing the room or sat with his head in his hands, or kicking various apparatus around the room in his rage.

He listened for a second though, and realised he could hear the trickling sound of water coming from the showers behind the partition wall.

He swallowed down and crossed the expanse of the changing room, rounding the corner leading to the shower block and finding the one person he was looking for.

Aaron.

Aaron, stood with his back to him, gloriously naked as he took a shower, stood inside one of the cubicles along the back wall, door to the cubicle left open to give Robert an eyeful.

Robert froze on the spot for a second – had seen this sight so many times by now, but was still taken back by it nonetheless.

Aaron was gorgeous.

Too good for him, really.

He took in the beauty of the man before him – watched as the water ran over his body in rivulets, making tracks against his skin as he massaged the shampoo from his scalp, bubbles cascading over the taut muscles of his back, down the perfect curve of his spine, and over the delicious bulk of his arse; biceps flexing with the movement of his arms as he washed the remaining shampoo from his hair.

Robert found his breath catching in his throat; speechless with the vision of the man stood before him, like some kind of fantasy he could barely believe he’d had the fortune of learning off by heart.

Aaron let his arms drop to his side, stood still for a few moments as he let the water fall over him, healing his embittered soul, draining away the residue of anger he’d had flooding through him for the past few days.

Robert exhaled involuntarily, and he noticed the way that Aaron’s body tensed suddenly at the sound of it.

“What do you want?” Aaron asked after a pause, without having to turn around.

It was as if he could sense it was Robert without needing to have confirmation.

Robert swallowed, taking a step forwards into the shower block, feeling the dampness of the steam in the room creep over him, the suede of his shoes already dampened with the residue of water on the floor.

“You,” Robert answered after a moment.

It was the only response he had.

“I want you,” he repeated, his voice cracking on the last syllable.

He watched Aaron’s body react to the sound of his voice – saw the way his shoulders dropped, and his head bowed forwards slightly, his hands reaching up to wipe the water from his eyes.

“You’ve changed your tune,” Aaron replied after a painful pause, attempting to remain steadfast, but Robert could read the slight change in his tone, the way that the menace behind it had seemed to dull slightly.

“I was an idiot yesterday,” Robert admitted, walking himself further into the shower room, still faced with the back of Aaron’s head as he tried to find the words. “I’m so sorry.”

Aaron didn’t respond, other than to lift his head back slightly and let the water fall over his face, eyes closed as he felt it healing through him.

The sound of a dulled roar came from the stands above them, and they both knew it meant the opposition had scored again.

Aaron sighed, leaning forwards and scrubbing at his face with his hands; Robert fully aware of what it meant, that Aaron would be blaming himself for the loss, blaming himself for letting the team down and getting himself sent off.

Robert couldn’t stand it – couldn’t stand to see Aaron blaming himself for all of it, not when he’d been the one to put Aaron in this frame of mind anyway. He wanted to comfort him – wanted to reach forwards and take Aaron in his arms, tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that it was only one game and it was only three points and there were plenty more chances for them to regain ground before the end of the season.

He hesitated – so aware that his comfort might be unwanted – but something told him that Aaron was calling out for it; that he was still stood in this shower, listening to him; that if he’d really wanted Robert to leave, he would have asked him to do so, or stormed off himself.

He couldn’t stop himself.

He closed the gap between them, taking the last few paces forwards until he was stood inside the cubicle, pressing himself up against Aaron’s back, arms circling around the younger man’s waist and pulling him into his embrace, barely aware of the cascading water from the shower head above them as it seeped through his suit.

He felt Aaron stiffen for a second in his arms, until his shoulders were dropping almost instantly, and Robert nestled his chin into the dip of Aaron’s shoulder, slotting the two of them together like the two lost pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, finally rediscovered.

“It meant something,” Robert whispered into the space before them, water parachuting over the both of them as they both barely even acknowledged it. “All of it meant something, of course it meant something,” he repeated, and he felt Aaron’s body respond to him, hands coming up to cling onto Robert’s forearms as he leant his head back against Robert’s shoulder.

“You said – ,”

“Forget what I said yesterday, Aaron,” Robert interrupted him, didn’t want reminding about the lies he’d told Aaron in his office the day before.

He turned his head instinctively, lips meeting the soft skin of Aaron’s neck as he felt the brunet roll his head away to give him better access to that sweet spot that Robert knew sent him wild; could feel Aaron’s hips rolling slightly against his own as he pulled his lips away from Aaron’s skin and leant up to whisper into his ear.

“I meant what I said in Munich,” he purred as his intentions blurred the line between comfort and wanting, Aaron body responding to every nuance in his emotions. “I couldn’t give you up if I tried, Aaron, and I’m never gonna try again,” he promised, kissing it into Aaron’s skin as if to seal it.

He could feel himself getting hard – could sense the roll of Aaron’s hips against his length, the water soaking through his suit jacket now and his shirt underneath it, hair sticking down against his forehead, run of the water finding its way to his trousers, mixed with the wet of Aaron’s body pressed back against him, the sensation of it too much for him to be able to hold back.

He turned his face in towards Aaron, kissing a line up from his neck and along his jawline, relief flooding through him when he felt Aaron responding against him, turning his face towards him and meeting his lips in a kiss; searing and searching and wanton and desperate; teeth and tongues as they groaned into each other’s mouths.

Robert pulled a hand up to Aaron’s neck, using it to turn Aaron’s head and to bring his mouth in line with his own, deepening their kiss, using the better angle to slide his tongue in alongside Aaron’s, messy and dirty and desperate in the way they claimed each other, bodies pressed tightly together as Robert took his spare hand and trailed it down the length of Aaron’s naked, wet body, fingertips brushing over the dip and grove of his hipbone as he slid down to grab at his thigh, side of his hand brushing against the underside of Aaron’s cock , could feel it hard and wanting against his hand.

He heard Aaron groan into his mouth as his hand brushed against him, reaching back and grabbing at Robert’s thigh with his left hand, right hand coming up to grab at Robert’s jawline, pulling him further into their kiss.

He felt Aaron’s hand rubbing up and down his thigh, circling closer to where he wanted him, found himself rubbing up and down Aaron’s thigh in response, rhythm of his hand matching Aaron’s and he could hear himself groaning with the sensation of it, and the sound of it made something twitch inside of Robert, made him all the more desperate to give Aaron what he wanted; to give in to the way that Aaron’s body was demanding everything from him.

He let his hands draw a trail up Aaron’s thigh again, slip-sliding over his taut stomach before he let his hand dip south, over the course hairs at the root of his dick until he could wrap his nimble fingers around Aaron’s length, his own knees feeling weak with the sound that escaped Aaron’s mouth as he started to work at his length, letting his other hands trail down to hold Aaron close against himself, supporting him as he went weak with the assault of Robert’s hands on him.

Aaron found it harder to keep their kiss connected as he lost himself in the sensation of Robert’s hands on him again – he’d been so sure they had been done for definite, that Robert had meant everything he’d said in his office the day before, and he’d spent the day balanced on a precipice between rage and ruination as he’d tried to get his head around it. He’d ignored Robert’s calls, and he’d switched off his phone, and he’d hidden away the hope that Robert might have been calling to take back everything he’d said in his office, and he’d resigned himself to it being over.

He’d never once wanted it to be over.

He grounded himself for a second, let himself believe that he’d been right to hope Robert would take it all back and make it all better, and he pulled away from Robert’s lips for a seconds as he opened his eyes, flicking away the water that dripped from his hairline as he moved his head out of the stream of water that fell from above them.

“You’re getting soaked,” Aaron smiled at him, laughing as he looked up and caught Robert’s eye, bringing his hand up to push the hair back off Robert’s forehead, voice quivering with the way that Robert worked at his dick as he spoke.

“I don’t care,” Robert smiled back, leaning back in to kiss at Aaron’s lips again, dipping his head through the water as he proved his own statement to be true.

Aaron laughed, turning himself around in Robert’s arms to allow the kiss to deepen, Robert’s twisting his arms around with Aaron’s movement to keep his hand working at Aaron’s dick, desperate to keep dragging the sound of those groans from the younger man, feeling himself getting harder with the sound of each guttural groan.

“Come here,” Aaron smirked into their kiss as he pulled on the soaking wet material of Robert’s suit lapels, pulling him all the way into the shower cubicle.

Aaron felt his bare arse slap against the steamy tiles of the wall behind him, pulling Robert in towards him and unable to stop the whimper that tumbled from his lips as Robert pulled his hands away from him, bringing both of his hands up to Aaron’s face to hold him into their kiss, letting his tongue trace along Aaron’s bottom lip teasingly before he swept back in.

The water beat down against Robert’s back now, and if it hadn’t been for Aaron’s hands grasping at his suit jacket so fervently he’d have stripped himself of it by now.

They pulled apart at the sound of a cheer coming from the stands above them – half-hearted celebration from the home fans before the crackle and boom of the stadium announcer came through the PA system, announcing a goal for Dales United, Adam Barton’s doing.

Robert glanced up and held Aaron’s eye, the two of them sharing a panicked moment at the reminder of their situation outside of this shower block and these changing rooms, and Aaron’s heart raced in his chest as he felt Robert peel himself away from Aaron’s body, his immediate thought being that the reminder of Adam and the world outside of them had ruptured through their moment of bliss.

He watched Robert’s movements, watched as he quickly turned around and did nothing more than close the shower cubicle door closed, locking them in and away from that reality of the world outside before he returned his lips straight to Aaron’s, recapturing him in a searing kiss.

Aaron smiled into it, and let himself get lost in the sensation of Robert’s lips on his once more, in that now-so-familiar scent of citrus from his shower gel, fragrance of it heightened in the mist from the shower that still beat down against Robert’s back.

Seconds later and Robert was pulling his lips away, Aaron left with no doubt as to his intentions as he moved to kiss against the tender skin of his neck, and then down and over the solidity of his collarbone, lowering himself down onto his knees as his kisses trailed a path down the moist skin of Aaron’s chest, grazing teeth over the sensitive skin of his nipples as he breezed past, letting the tip of his tongue trace a pattern down the dip in between his ab muscles, until he found himself on his knees, worshipping at the feet of this man who managed to take him a apart and piece him back together better than anyone he’d ever known before him.

“Robert,” Aaron groaned, swallowing down in anticipation of what he knew Robert was about to do to him, letting his left hand rest upon Robert’s shoulder as the fingers of his right hand curled underneath Robert’s chin, holding his gaze for a heated few seconds as his fingertips traced over the soft skin of Robert’s cheek, before he watched Robert flutter his eyelashes as his hand came up to hold the base of Aaron’s cock, and Aaron was lost to it once more, letting his head drop back against the tiles of the shower cubicle as Robert started working at his dick with his hands.

Robert wanted to make him wait for it; wanted to tease and drag out Aaron’s orgasm, but he knew he was far too desperate. There would be more times; more chances to have Aaron begging on the edge of what Robert could do to him. He needed this, and he needed to take this quickly.

He took Aaron’s dick in his mouth, taste of salt through the steam still assaulting his senses from the heat of the shower beating down against his back. He let his tongue tease against the velvet-smooth skin of Aaron’s cock, circling in a pattern as he tried to tease, before he was hollowing out his cheeks and closing his lips around the tip of his dick and taking him down as deep as he could stand it.

He let his hand take up most of the work, stroking in waves back and forth as Aaron’s hips bucked forwards with the sensation of it, Robert’s name on his lips and tumbling around him in whispered waves, barely audible above the sound of the shower.

Robert flicked a glance up towards Aaron as he continued to work him with the double assault of his hand and his mouth finding a perfect rhythm, the mist of the shower making him seem almost ethereal as he lost himself in the sensation of Robert’s hands over him; Robert’s lips surrounding him.

He let the sound of Aaron’s pleasure surround him; wanted to drown himself in it.

He picked up the pace, could feel the ministrations of Aaron’s body as he started to succumb to it; started to find himself lost in the sensation of Robert’s lips on him and Robert’s hands working him into oblivion.

“Fuck, Rob…,” he stuttered, and Robert knew what it meant; knew by the rolling of his hips and the way Aaron was grabbing at the hair at the back of his head that he was close.

He quickened the pace with his hands, head bobbing back and forth as he ran his free hand up the wet skin of Aaron’s thigh, past his hipbone and up to his torso before rolling back down his side again, rounding his body and stroking between the bulk of Aaron’s arse as he teased his fingers past Aaron’s rim.

“Can’t…,” Aaron begged some more, and Robert let his fingertips trace around his rim and then further down, over that sensitive spot behind his balls, his other hand stilling from where it stripped at Aaron’s dick and squeezing down on the base of his cock slightly, holding Aaron on the edge of where Robert had taken him.

“Please,” Aaron begged, bringing his head forwards and holding Robert’s gaze, and the look in his eye was all too much for Robert – made him want to give this man the whole world and everything left over from it – and he had no will power to resist his pleading, releasing his hold at the base of his dick, and taking him root to tip in his mouth, pulling back just as Aaron’s hips bucked forwards with it, the cry of desperation falling from Aaron’s lips as he came in waves down Robert’s throat, crying out his name helplessly, as Robert swallowed down every last drop of Aaron’s orgasm.

Robert looked up at Aaron through his lashes, knew exactly what he was doing as he licked his lips and brought his thumb up to his lips, darting his tongue out slightly to lick at the pad of his thumb, making an obscene noise as he sucked at it, holding Aaron’s gaze.

Aaron smiled, before grabbing at Robert’s arms and pulling him back up to standing, devouring his lips as soon as he was stood up straight and feeling his knees go weak all over again at the taste of himself on Robert’s tongue.

Robert pulled away from his lips, resting his forehead back down against Aaron’s as he tried to capture his breath.

“So,” Robert said, smirk pulling at the side of his lips.

“So,” Aaron repeated with a glint in his eye as he held Robert’s stare.

It made Robert flicker his eyelashes and laugh a little nervously, as Aaron reached behind him and turned the power off the shower, the water slowly fading away around them.

“As apologies go, how does that rate?” Robert asked, aiming for seductive but all too aware of the needy edge to his words.

Aaron shrugged, upside down smirk on his face as he attempted to come across unimpressed.

“It’s not the worst I’ve ever had,” Aaron smirked back. “But I reckon you’ve got a way to go yet. A few more of them and I might even consider letting you fuck me again soon,” he joked.

It pulled a laugh from Robert.

“Come on, Aaron. Don’t pretend you can resist me, we both know it’s not true.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows at that, mock-offended.

“Think you’re all that, do you?” he joked back, letting Robert’s lips steal a kiss between his words. “You look a bit of a state right now, you know that?”

Robert pulled away, unable to hide the smile on his face as he looked down at his soaking wet clothes as they clung in places to his body, his shoes well and truly ruined for good.

“I have no idea how I’m going to explain this,” Robert admitted, the both of them finding the funny side as they laughed to one another. “It was worth it, though,” Robert added, as he leant forwards and stole another kiss from Aaron’s lips.

They pulled away again at the sound of the fizzle from the PA system filtering through from the speakers in the top corner of the changing rooms, listening in as the stadium announcer confirmed they had four minutes of added time left to play.

“I better go and sort myself out,” Robert accepted defeat, pulling himself out of Aaron’s orbit as he turned back and unlocked the shower cubicle.

“We’re good, then?” Aaron uttered from behind him, so quiet he wasn’t sure Aaron had actually wanted him to hear.

Robert turned back to him and smiled.

“If you’re good, we’re good,” Robert answered him in earnest.

Aaron took a second to respond, giving only the slightest of nods in acceptance.

“Then we’re good,” he confirmed, placing a peck against Robert’s lips before he turned around to leave.

“I’ll call you,” Robert promised, stealing one last kiss before he walked away, flicking the excess water off his suit as he went, and grabbing a fluffy white towel from the shelves at the side of the shower block as he passed by.

He glanced left then right to check the coast was clear, before wrapping the towel around himself and sneaking out of the changing rooms and back up towards the lift to take him back to his office.

He knew he had a clean suit up there that he could change into, he just had to get through the media interviews now, full of the knowledge that he’d barely seen a single moment of the second half.

Even so, he couldn’t even pretend to regret a single decision he’d made that evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that makes up for last chapter's ending ;) Let me know what you thought.
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr - wellyfullofale


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, fluff and angst all in one chapter you're welcome :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW, I KNOW  
> It's been 84 years...  
> I'm so sorry! I hope at least some of you have stuck it out and still care about this. I promise I won't make you wait that long again for another update  
> (...especially with this ending...oops)

**_ Chapter Seventeen _ **

The weeks passed by, and they managed to find themselves almost falling into some oddly domesticated kind of routine. Robert knew he could get away with telling Chrissie he had to watch over extra training twice a week, which she seemed to accept without question, and Aaron knew he could count on Adam leaving their place to take Victoria on any one of a number of weird and wonderful dates at just as regular intervals, leaving them with ample opportunity to meet up in Aaron’s bedroom and work out their ever growing need for one another.

They’d fuck hurriedly, and then they’d hold each other, and they’d both ignore how much they wanted to tell one another how desperately they never wanted their time together to end, except neither of them found the words to say it to one another. Instead they’d just try and reduce it to what they both thought the other wanted, and they’d find the time to indulge in one another one last time, before Robert would have to tear himself away and return to his fiancée, whose bed he’d sleep in every night as he dreamt of Aaron.

They spent every waking minute texting one another, conversations ranging from the expected suggestive pleading – heightened emotions and desperate longing for one another reduced into three lines of text and a questionably suitable emoji as each of them suppressed down that four letter word they were too afraid to scare one another and themselves with – to the downright ordinary; inane conversation about cars and laundry and footballing tactics and gossip about Robert’s sister and Aaron’s best friend.

A part of Aaron felt happiness like he’d never experienced or felt worthy of before; the rest of him felt another part of his heart chipping away every time Robert had to leave him to go back to Chrissie.

Aaron’s entire body ached with jealousy when Adam and Vic finally went public with their relationship.

He was sure Robert could read every part of it radiating from him as they’d lain in bed together reading Adam’s Instagram post; post-coital and intimate in the purest sense, and yet more distant from one another than he thought possible given everything they’d shared.

He suppressed his jealousy though; hid it down deep beneath the surface, terrified that even a suggestion of him wishing beyond belief that he could one day have that with the man he lay with would scare that very man away. He couldn’t risk losing Robert; not for the sake of his own misguided sense of entitlement to keep this man he was borrowing; not for anything.

He’d have to settle for taking what he could get – in the stolen moments together, and the secret trysts they were becoming expert in – and he’d almost managed to let himself accept that it was the reality of his life now. He was in far too deep with a man who would never be his – not in the way he needed him to be – and despite the nagging doubt that crept in every night as he lay in bed, alone, he forced it down and pushed it away until he could tell himself that he could live with it.

He told himself that it wasn’t what he wanted, but that he’d take whatever he could get from Robert, however small and infrequent that happened to be.

It didn’t help that each night Aaron found himself surrounded by the memory of Robert in and around him in the very room he slept in; let himself drown in the scent of the two of them on his sheets; let his heart ache for Robert to be able to give him every part of himself one day, even if he knew the possibility of it was slim to non-existent.

He let himself spend those blissful few weeks in a state of denial, caught up in the excitement of stealing every possible moment with Robert that he could get away with. Those weeks turned slowly into months, and throughout it they both avoided any return to the conversations they’d had in the months gone by, to the times when they’d touched on what they could mean to one another. It was always there, always bubbling under the surface in each of their trysts, whether it was in Aaron’s bedroom, or in the changing rooms after practice, or Robert’s office whenever he could find reason to drag Aaron up there and away from prying eyes. It was like they both always _knew_ what it meant to one another, but they were both too terrified to bring it up again, fearful that what they had was reduced to just sex now and nothing more; even if they both knew it was becoming so much more than that for both of them; and more so with every day that passed.

He let himself linger in that state of denial for as long as he felt the ability to cope with it, but his defiance on it started to waver with each new day that passed, as his feelings grew and started to overwhelm him; to the point that he couldn’t keep them hidden any longer.

They were in the hotel after an away game – another win, the team’s run of form seeming to have wavered up and down with the frequency that Robert had been able to make time for Aaron over the weeks, the coincidence of it not being completely lost on Aaron – and Aaron’s phone pinged with the usual message from Robert as he waited around in his room with Adam.

**_Robert:_ ** _Coast is clear. Come over when you can x_

Aaron grabbed his phone off the side, quickly glancing to confirm the message said what he expected it to, and then tugged his charger out of the wall and made his way towards the door.

“Back in a bit,” he let out quickly, aware that Adam would have no doubts about where he was heading, his disappearance having become a regular occurrence for reasons Adam was fully aware of every time they had a hotel for an away match.

“You crawling back to him again, then?” Adam muttered under his breath, so quiet that Aaron wondered whether he was even meant to hear it.

He scowled, stopping in his tracks as he looked up at his best mate.

“What’s that meant to mean?” he questioned, frowning, arms outstretched.

Adam sighed, looking past where Aaron stood at the end of his bed and feigning indifference as he flicked through the limited choice of channels on the hotel TV.

“You know,” he let out quietly, a resigned sense of failure in his tone, as if he knew whatever he said would fall on deaf ears; that Aaron would be running off the see Robert regardless of whether he thought his best mate approved of it or not.

“Just keep out of it, Ad,” Aaron pleaded with a roll of his eyes.

If there was one thing Aaron Dingle couldn’t hide from, it was Adam Barton and the way that he knew him better than he knew himself – could sense every time he was lying to himself or to anyone else – and Aaron wanted to push away any of Adam’s concerns, aware of how accurately they would line up with his own if he was being honest with himself.

Adam wasn’t going to let Aaron hide away from the situation he’d found himself in any longer, though. He cared about his best mate too much to let him carry on making this mistake.

“You won’t be saying that when you need me to hold your hand when it all falls to shit,” Adam muttered under his breath, keeping his gaze focused on the TV screen.

He knew he was overstepping the mark – knew it was going to be met with an argument – but he couldn’t let this carry on without saying something. He loved Aaron too much to let that happen.

He wasn’t blind to the way Aaron was getting too far involved – had noticed every time Aaron’s face lit up whenever they’d been hanging out together and Robert had text him; noticed how his mood changed in the other direction whenever Chrissie had come in the middle of the plans that him and Robert had made in secret; saw the look in each of their eyes as they greeted one another in training, and when they thought that nobody was looking.

Adam noticed it all, and he knew that Aaron was falling more and more in love with Robert with each day that passed; each day getting closer and closer to the day that Robert would be marrying someone who _isn’t_ Aaron, breaking his heart and leaving Adam to pick up the pieces.

Aaron might have thought that he could handle it, but Adam knew his best mate like a brother.

Aaron shook his head in disbelief that Adam was daring to have this conversation with him again, aware that it was one they’d had around in circles over the past couple of months, as Adam’s concerns had grown with each secret tryst followed by each set of cancelled plans, aborted last minute as the fiancée got in the way.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aaron dismissed as he let his denial get the better of him, turning to walk out of their room, desperate for nothing to stand in the way of the plans he had for himself and Robert that evening.

It had been almost a week since their last meeting, and neither of them had made any attempt to hide from one another how desperate they were for this away game, having kept each other awake almost every night of the week with detailed text exchanges of their plans for one another.

“Oh don’t I?” Adam replied, deadpan. “So I don’t know that you’ve spent months now sneaking around with him behind his fiancée’s back?”

“Why are you bringing this up now? You know we get hardly any time together,” Aaron hissed, ignoring the sentimentality behind his words. “Away games are our only chance to –”

“What you gonna do when he finally marries her?” Adam interrupted, finally glancing away from the TV screen and looking Aaron in the eye. “You gonna be fine just stood there, watching –”

“Shut up,” Aaron cut him off, doubling back on himself as he raised a pointed finger in Adam’s direction by way of a warning.

He’d felt something snap inside of him at the reminder Adam cruelly served, and a pain in his chest that he didn’t have the strength to label.

“What?” Adam questioned in feigned innocence. “What’s up? Can’t handle it? The thought of Robert getting married to someone who isn’t you?” Adam was sat up on the bed now, facing Aaron with a look of determination in his eyes, aware of the way that Aaron’s breath hitched as he served up his reality check.

The words settled into the space between them, Aaron unable to offer anything in the way of response.

“Yeah, I thought not,” Adam added once he’d noticed the flicker in Aaron’s eye at his words.

Aaron stared back at him for a short while, as if by way of some sort of challenge, until he breathed out a sigh and let his shoulders drop.

“Adam, you haven’t got a clue,” he added dismissively, unable to offer anything more as he turned to walk away.

It was the truth, after all – nobody other than Robert and himself could really, truly, understanding what was happening; what they meant to one another. There weren’t words to describe what happened when the two of them were together, and he wasn’t going to waste his time trying to explain it to Adam.

Not when Robert was waiting for him down the corridor, anyway.

“I haven’t got a clue?” Adam questioned him after a moment’s pause. “You sure about that?”

“Yeah, I am,” Aaron answered, still sure of it, even if he was ignoring the fact that Adam had managed to tap into his biggest fears when it came to Robert.

Adam sighed and rolled his eyes, before settling back down onto his bed and turning his attention back to the TV screen.

“Right, okay, well I’ll just carry on pretending I haven’t got a clue what’s happening between the two of you then whilst I also lie to his sister about where the two of you are all the time then, yeah?” Adam snapped.

Aaron sighed, aware deep down that what he was asking his best mate to do was above and beyond; that he was potentially risking his own happiness for Aaron’s sake, should the secret ever get out, and for a second he thought about sitting down and talking it through with his best mate, leaving Robert waiting a little longer.

“Look, mate, I’m sorry –” he started, voice softly spoken, until Adam cut him off with a hand gesture.

“And I’ll just carry on pretending I haven’t got a clue when it all goes wrong and you’re back on your own because you realise you’re nothing more than his dirty little bit on the side.”

That stabbed like a knife inside Aaron’s chest.

He clenched his jaw, couldn’t believe Adam had gone there, hitting him right where it hurt the most.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Aaron snapped at him, face constricting in rage as he leant over Adam’s bed and held his gaze. “It might not be perfect, but you have no idea what we’ve got, and if you even think about running off and telling your new girlfriend about it, me and you are done, for good. You hear me?”

He stared Adam down for a second, letting his words sink in for the both of them, realising almost instantly that he’d gone too far but his blood was still boiling and he was in no position to concede just yet.

He felt his phone vibrating in his hand, quickly flicking the screen to read Robert’s text.

**_Robert:_ ** _Why are you keeping me waiting?_

**_Robert:_ ** _Dick tease ;)_

He heard Adam scoff knowingly at the realisation of who the text would be from, and he narrowed his eyes as he looked back up at him; Adam already avoiding his gaze as he looked through him and towards the TV screen.

“See you tomorrow,” he muttered under his breath, before turning to leave the room.

He slammed the door behind him, leaning back against it and thudding his head against the door as he winced to himself. He knew he’d gone in too hard on Adam – knew his best mate had a point, if he was being honest with himself – but hearing someone else confirm his worst fears had ignited something inside of him that made him snap, and he wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to be having that conversation – not when he’d been desperate to get Robert alone all week, and he was finally sat alone in a hotel room waiting for him.

Him and Adam had spent their entire lives living like brothers, and that included the fighting at times, too. It didn’t help when Adam had the ability to read his every emotion and expose his biggest insecurities like he just had done, but it still didn’t ever sit right with him when he was at odds with his best mate like this.

His phone vibrated, and he glanced at the screen to see Robert had sent him a picture to accompany his last text. Aaron opened it to see a shot of the length of Robert’s body as he lay on his hotel bed, the photo taken from up by his chest area and following the sight of Robert stretched out, lying on his back, shirt buttons undone and exposing the freckled fair skin of his chest. He was still wearing his trousers – aware of how much Aaron liked to take them off him himself – but his left hand was snaking under the waistband, keeping himself warm as he waited for Aaron to arrive.

Aaron’s anger at Adam dissipated almost immediately, replaced with a knowing smirk as he bit at his bottom lip, mind now plagued with thoughts of what he was going to do with Robert when he got to his room.

**_Aaron:_ ** _Sorry. On my way x_

He replied hurriedly as he paced towards the lift and up to the floor with Robert’s room, any seed of doubt that Adam might have managed to sow pushed back into the recesses of his mind, to be dealt with another day.

 

::

 

Aaron shifted his gaze left then right before taking out the key card Robert had slipped to him earlier in the day and opening up Robert’s hotel room door.

“About time,” he heard Robert call through from the bedroom, making Aaron smile as he walked past the bathroom and into the bedroom.

His eyes widened as he saw the sight of Robert before him.

“Sorry, I had to start without you,” Robert confessed with a smirk on his face, all too aware of how much he’d be turning Aaron on.

He was spread out on the hotel bed – as he had been in his photo to Aaron moments earlier – but the trousers were unbuckled now with impatience, and Aaron could see the thick, wet, head of Robert’s dick above his clenched fist, his hand starting its movement once more as soon as Robert realised that Aaron’s eyes were on him.

“Fuck,” Aaron smirked, whipping his top off and kicking off his shoes as he made his way to the bed.

He climbed up onto the mattress, on all fours as Robert’s legs opened up automatically to let Aaron settle between them, looking up at Robert through his eyelashes as he leant down and tilted his head, placing gentle, chaste kisses along the knuckles of the hand Robert was still using to work his own dick. He felt Robert’s hand still as his lips brushed against his skin, holding his gaze as he let them linger, Robert gulping down as he felt Aaron’s breath against his dick.

He groaned out involuntarily, and smiled to himself as he saw Aaron’s eyelashes flutter at the sound of himself losing his resolve.

“Can’t believe you kept me waiting,” Robert whispered, holding Aaron’s gaze as he started to work his own dick again. “After I’ve been waiting all week for you already.”

Aaron smirked before licking his lips.

“I’ll make it worth the wait, don’t worry,” he whispered, before teasing his lips over the head of Robert’s dick lightly, then moving up to the soft skin of Robert’s stomach, over the ridges of his chest until he could nestle his face into the crook of Robert’s neck, sucking hungry kisses into that sensitive spot in the dip of neck to shoulder, making Robert shiver and still his movements all at once.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this,” Robert whispered as he let the fingertips of his free hand trail up the side of Aaron’s body; could feel the murmurs of Aaron’s satisfaction against the crook of his neck as Aaron continued to kiss him, pulling away just before his skin started to purple.

That was a mistake they weren’t going to make again; not after the last time Robert had to spend a week hiding the last hickey Aaron gave him.

“Same here,” Aaron whispered as he held himself above Robert, staring into his eyes for a few quiet moments until Robert leant up and pushed his lips against Aaron’s, kissing him like he meant every single word of it.

Aaron tried to ignore the wave of emotions running through him; tried to drown out Adam’s words from earlier; tried to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach that was telling him that Adam was right, that he was never going to be able to live without this man beneath him.

He wanted Robert, and he wanted him all to himself.

The option wasn’t there, though.

So he pushed it down and ignored it, as he pulled away from Robert’s pleading lips and tracked his own down Robert’s body again, moist lips leaving a patch of wetness down Robert’s torso that made him shiver and groan as the cool air in the room met his skin.

Aaron hooked his fingers into the waistband of Robert’s trousers, sucking kisses along the line of Robert’s hipbones as he shuffled himself further down the bed, aware of Robert dropping his head back down on the pillow as his fingers reached up and stroked through Aaron’s hair, encouraging him as he lifted up his hips to allow Aaron to free him of his trousers and boxers.

Aaron pulled his lips away as he shuffled his knees down to the end of the bed and stood up briefly as he tugged Robert free of his remaining clothes, discarding them on the floor and stepping out of his own joggers and boxers before he climbed back up onto the bed, knees in between Robert’s open legs, letting his eyes travel over Robert’s naked form before him.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen something so gorgeous in his entire life; and he tried to tell himself he couldn’t see the exact same thought written all over Robert’s expression as he looked up at him in return.

His mouth watered at the sight of him, and he felt a wave of need wash over him as he grabbed at the wrist of the hand Robert was still using to pleasure himself with, tugging it away and smiling as Robert let out a self-satisfied laugh, aware of what was to come.

Aaron moved up Robert’s body, taking a hold of his other wrist in his other hand, and placing both of Robert’s hands either side of his head. He leant down to kiss him, holding his hands in place, pinning him down as he felt Robert’s lips turn into a smile beneath his own.

“Stay,” Aaron ordered as he pulled away from the kiss, pointing a warning finger in Robert’s face as he saw his hands reach up to grab at Aaron’s face. “Stay!” he ordered again, “or I’ll be forced to tie them,” he smirked.

Robert laughed and decided to do as he was told, letting his hands grab onto the headboard of the bed behind his head, watching on as Aaron descended back down his body again.

His breath hitched in his throat as he felt the press of Aaron’s lips travel down his body again, and his hand tickled a path down his side until it was wrapping around the length of his leaking dick and working at him – slowly at first, then building into a rhythm that had his head spinning as he sunk back into the pillow.

Aaron smiled as he watched Robert losing control of himself as he worked his dick in his hands, drinking in the sight of this man powerless beneath him at his touch, aware of the tugging in his chest as he watched him come apart beneath him.

He tore his eyes away, returning his attention to Robert’s leaking dick in his hands, shuffling himself down until he could get that angle that had Robert pulsing his hips up in appreciation, arching his back into the touch and begging out for more; begging for Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.

He revelled in the sound of his name on Robert’s lips, loved to hear him begging and pleading for him like he was doing, knew exactly what he needed to do to have him tipping over the edge.

He pursed his lips, slowing down the rhythm of his hand as he blew gently against the thick length of Robert’s dick, before letting his tongue trace slowly across the tip of his dick, salty to taste and causing him to let out his own groan at the feel of it.

Robert bucked his hips up in desperation for it, pushing himself against Aaron’s lips, and Aaron was weak to resist it, wanted the taste of him just as much as Robert needed it, and he teased him for as long as he could manage, revelling in the way that Robert begged for what he wanted from him.

He caved in before long, wrapping his lips around the head of Robert’s dick and giving him exactly what he wanted, taking him down root to tip, hands grabbing at his hips to steady himself as he felt Robert fucking himself up into his mouth, desperate for it; needing what he knew only Aaron could give him.

Aaron worked him expertly until Robert was tugging a hand through his hair, telling him he was close, and Aaron was pulling his lips away for a short second to allow him to slick up two fingers of his right hand, returning his mouth to Robert’s pleading dick as he hoisted Robert’s leg up, making way for his fingers to trail a path up the back of Robert’s thigh until he was where he wanted to be, fingers rolling against Robert’s balls before moving backwards until he was pushing against the rim of Robert’s arse, moistened fingers circling the rim to loosen him up.

Aaron pulled his other hand up to work at his dick, head bobbing as he switched between letting his tongue trace patterns over the head of Robert’s dick and wrapping his lips around him to take him down in one, and he felt the muscles give way against his fingers as he slipped one inside, and then another soon afterwards.

“Fuck, Aaron, please,” Robert begged of him, his toes curling up as his hands reached out for Aaron instinctively, fingertips tenderly stroking down the side of Aaron’s face, palm cupping his jaw as he watched Aaron work his magic on him, Aaron looking up and catching his eyes just as his fingers curled around inside him and found that sweet spot that had Robert calling out expletives involuntarily.

“I’m coming, fuck,” Robert breathed out, head hitting against the headboard behind him as Aaron felt the tightening in his balls, just before his now unmistakeable taste filed his mouth. “Fuck, Aaron,” he let out as his chest heaved with the sensation of it.

Aaron swallowed down the whole of it – taste of salt and sweat and everything else so distinctly _Robert_ filling his senses as he felt the pulse of Robert’s dick slowing down to normal; spent and sated in the best way.

He felt the pop of his mouth as he pulled away from Robert’s dick, pulling his fingers from inside him gently as he wiped at the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand, licking at his lips as he looked up at Robert, fucked out on the bed before him.

He couldn’t help the smile that plastered itself across his face at his own doing.

He crawled up the bed, placing kisses against Robert’s body as he went, rolling onto his side as he settled into the space to the left of Robert on the bed, waiting for Robert’s recovery so that he could return the favour.

 

::  
  


“You staying then?” Robert asked, Aaron’s sweat-slicked body nestled into the crook of his arm as they both found their breathing pattern returning to normal after Robert had taken Aaron to whole new level of pleasure through the tip of his tongue.

They both lay sated and pleasured in the aftermath, Robert becoming aware of Aaron’s lack of movement, telling him he was going to have company in his bed for the entire night.

Not that he was complaining, of course. It wasn’t as if it was uncommon for Aaron to stay over when they were in this situation and they had the opportunity to fall asleep together – in fact, he’d stayed in his hotel room more times that he’d left to go back to Adam – but Robert could sense there was something making him want to stay with him more than the usual, this time.

“That okay?” Aaron responded in a solemn tone.

Robert shuffled onto his side, encouraging Aaron to do the same as they both lay, heads on each pillow on their seemingly now-allocated side of the bed, facing one another, hands intertwined underneath the sheets between them.

“Of course, it’s always okay,” Robert reassured him. “I prefer it when you stay,” he added, from the heart.

Aaron couldn’t help the smile that formed involuntarily, eyes softening as he looked over at Robert.

“Thanks,” he whispered. “I can’t deal with going back to Adam.”

He noticed the frown that formed over Robert’s face and immediately regretted saying anything, realising he didn’t exactly want to have to explain to Robert what Adam had said to him earlier; especially the part where he’d managed to sum up all of Aaron’s fears and insecurities in one.

“Not that you can’t bear to leave me, then?” Robert joked, trying to lift the cloud which had seemed to settle over Aaron.

It earned him a gentle laugh and an eye roll in return, followed by a moment’s hesitation.

“Nah, just he snores,” Aaron lied after a pause, attempting to deflect the subject away.

They looked between each other in silence for a few moments, letting their eyes learn the shape of one another’s face, as if they both wondered whether one day they might have to try and remember moments like these from memory.

After a while Robert took his hand and stroked a line across Aaron’s cheekbone with the pad of his thumb, letting his palm settle against the hinge of his jaw, framing the beauty of this man who lay before him. There was an uncertainty he’d noticed in Aaron’s eyes – one that he hated knowing he’d seen there before – and he felt a churning in his heart, an unsettling urge to need to know what was causing him pain.

“You can talk to me, you know?” he whispered into the space between them, in that soft voice he reserved only for Aaron, it seemed.

“I know,” Aaron shrugged, as if there was nothing on his mind.

Robert frowned, biting down on his lip before deciding to push a little further, aware there was more to this than Aaron was letting on.

He hated to think that he was the cause of that lost look in his eye.

“Why can you really not face Adam?” he asked, watching Aaron’s expression for any hint of a reaction.

Aaron closed his eyes and sighed, rolling onto his back as if to try and escape from the answer he was going to have to give Robert.

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged, attempting to dismiss the question away.

Robert hitched up on his elbow to allow him to look Aaron in the eye again.

“Come on, I know you better than that,” Robert urged him. “You can talk to me,” he added supportively.

He paused, letting his question linger in the air between them until Aaron acquiesced, sighing with defeat as he realised Robert wasn’t going to let it drop.

“He just,” Aaron hesitated, wincing as he tried to lessen the seriousness of what he was about to admit. “He was just saying stuff, before I came over here,” he explained, trying to keep it as vague as possible.

“Stuff like what?” Robert asked, unwilling to let the subject lie, especially not now he’d seen that sadness in Aaron’s eye.

“I dunno,” Aaron shrugged, doing that downturn of his mouth that Robert was becoming so accustomed to seeing.

Robert raised an eyebrow and widened his eyes, as if pushing him to continue.

“Just, about me running off to see you,” he sighed, shrugging as if it was nothing. “About us,” he conceded cautiously.

He noticed the frown and the hint of uncertainty flash across Robert’s expression, and a part of him immediately regretted saying anything, feeling shame that the other half of him felt a slight hint of relief that he was getting his own concerns off his chest.

“What about us?” Robert asked, full of suspicion.

He knew that Adam knew about the both of them – about the full extent of him and Aaron, and that it had become a regular thing, Aaron having confided in Robert about it on multiple occasions – but the thought of him trying to put Aaron off seeing him made his blood run cold.

“About...about me being your bit on the side, or whatever,” Aaron admitted, shrugging as if he didn’t care as much about that fact as he actually did. “About having to lie to Vic about it all –”

“He’s not thinking of telling her?” Robert interrupted, a sudden panic running through him.

“No, no. He wouldn’t,” Aaron reassured him; wasn’t oblivious to the sudden panicked look on Robert’s face. He hated that the thought of their secret being exposed clearly filled Robert with such dread, tried to ignore that way that the realisation of it sent a pain thrumming through his chest.

“Good,” Robert nodded with relief.

“He just, I dunno,” Aaron continued, warily. “He thinks you’re no good for me,” he admitted, almost on a whisper; ashamed to admit that Adam would think that of the pair of them, and even less inclined to even admit to himself that he knew where Adam was coming from.

He knew Robert had the ability to shatter his heart into a million pieces.

He knew Robert made him vulnerable.

But when Robert made him feel things like he’d had him feeling just fifteen minutes earlier, there was no way he was in any position to walk away, vulnerable or not.

Robert laughed after a short pause, a bitter kind of sound that made it so obvious Adam had hit a nerve in suggesting that he was no good for the man he was sharing his bed with.

“What’s it to do with him, anyway?” he sniped, bitterly.

“That’s what I said,” Aaron explained in agreement.

“And he didn’t like it?”

“No,” Aaron almost laughed; of course Adam didn’t like being told to keep his nose out. “He said you were just gonna end up breaking my heart. But I told him I make my own decisions, and I’ve decided to do this with you, so it’s my choice, isn’t it?”

The words had tumbled out of Aaron before he’d had the chance to stop them; before he’d had the chance to realise the gravity of what he was saying. Robert let them sink in for a short while – in full realisation that he knew precisely why Adam was worried about his intentions – but he felt a warmth in his heart that Aaron had been so sure about what they were doing with one another; that he’d stuck up for the pair of them and what they had between them, even if neither of them completely understood it, or knew how on earth the future between them was going to map out.

“Good,” Robert replied, somewhat feebly given what Aaron had just said to him.

It was only when he’d taken a deep breath and allowed himself to reflect on what Aaron had said, that he realised perhaps it was in need of a more heartfelt response. He knew their situation wasn’t perfect – knew there were things he might have wanted to be able to change if only circumstances had been different, or he’d been a stronger person – but he needed Aaron to know that he never wanted to hurt him; never intended to do anything of the sort.

He blocked out the future, tried not to think about it if he could help it, and he knew what they had was messed up and complicated, but he was sure of one thing, and that was that he had no intention of breaking Aaron’s heart – not if he could help it.

And so he told him that, in not quite as many words.

“I won’t,” he offered quietly, as he lay back down on his back and looked up at the same ceiling Aaron was staring at, as if the topic of conversation was too heavy to be able to look Aaron in the eye as he told him.

“Won’t what?” Aaron asked, frowning.

“Break your heart.”

Aaron swallowed past the lump in his throat, shifting slightly in the bed as he scoffed a little at Robert’s words; at the realisation that Robert couldn’t be aware of the fact that he already was doing, every time he left him to go back to his fiancée.

“Not even when you marry Chrissie,” he joked, attempting to make light of the serious nature of what Robert was telling him.

Serious hadn’t ever been something they’d let themselves explore, despite having been seeing each other for the majority of the football season by now. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Robert, but if he could, he would have seen Robert’s face drop as the truth hit him.

How could he expect to keep his promise not to break Aaron’s heart, if he had no intention of breaking off his engagement with Chrissie?

He felt as if he was living two separate lives – one with the woman who could give him everything he thought he’d always wanted; and another with a man who he needed in his life more than he thought he would ever be able to admit to, someone who gave him things he’d never known would make him happier than he realised any other person ever could.

“I wish things were different,” Robert admitted, unsure for a second whether he had actually let himself admit it out loud; a weight in his chest as he admitted it to himself as much as to Aaron, too.

“I know you do,” Aaron replied after a weighted pause.

And he did, if he was being honest – he knew that Robert would want things to be different if they could be – if he wasn’t so unavailable, and if both of their careers weren’t on the line if it ever came out, and if they both could be with each other without the rest of the world caring so much about it.

Robert nodded, a smile creeping over his lips, realising that even if he couldn’t be with Aaron as they both wanted, at least Aaron understood it all.

“We’re good, though, aren’t we?” Robert questioned, hoping for the only response he would be able to deal with. “This is good?”

He felt Aaron shuffle to turn onto his side and face him, and he rolled onto his own side to do the same.

“Yeah,” Aaron answered, with more than a hint of melancholy, despite the smile on his face. “This is good.”

Robert smiled, and Aaron mirrored it in return before leaning in and placing a lingering kiss against Robert’s lips.

“So we carry on, with this?” Robert asked, a little reluctant, in case he didn’t get the answer he wanted.

“Yeah,” Aaron smiled in confirmation, before Robert noticed a wave of uncertainty flash over his expression. “Until when though?” he asked.

Robert didn’t like to think about the future most of the time – least of all when it involved this kind of relationship, but he was starting to become more certain with every day that passed that he couldn’t see any kind of future without Aaron in it, and he didn’t want to let this moment pass without making sure Aaron knew exactly how much he meant to him.

“Until it’s not good anymore,” he answered quietly. “If that ever even happens.”

He followed it up with a smile, and saw the way that his words caused Aaron’s expression to soften, his eyes looking back at him with the same feeling he knew his own were showing, a word he still didn’t have the strength to associate with Aaron despite his whole body crying out for it.

“This will always be good, for me.”

Aaron’s words caused a stirring deep within him, and he knew he was so far in trouble there was a chance he was never getting out of it.

“Me too,” he admitted, more honestly than he might have ever been before in his life.

They looked at one another in heated silence for a few moments, letting the gravity of what they’d both admitted to one another sink in, until Aaron smiled back at him, and they both laughed with a kind of understanding he couldn’t even begin to explain.

“Good, I’ll tell Adam to keep his nose out, then,” Aaron smiled, lifting his eyebrows playfully.

“Yeah, tell him to mind his own!” Robert laughed back, flinging an arm around Aaron’s waist and pulling him forwards into a kiss.

He felt Aaron relax into his embrace, and felt him deepen the kiss as he pulled at Aaron’s waist, rolling onto his back as Aaron got the hint and went with him, until he was settled into the space between Robert’s legs, his naked body pressed up against Roberts, not an inch of space between them as they kissed, slow and languid, giving each other everything they couldn’t just say to one another with words.

Robert brushed his feet up against Aaron’s as they settled in between his own, and Aaron flinched as he laughed with it, tickled by Robert’s toes up against the soles of his feet.

“Stop it!” Aaron teased as he pulled away from the kiss, both of them well aware that this was fast becoming one of Robert’s favourite things to do as they lay in bed together, discovering all of the ticklish parts of Aaron Dingle’s body.

Robert shut him up with another kiss, before slowly letting his toes start tickling again, Aaron squirming away and laughing as Robert held onto his forearms to stop him rolling away, lifting up his legs to trap Aaron between his knees.

“Robert!” he warned as his lover’s laughter increased, trying to wriggle away from him until Robert was rolling the both of them over to the other side of the bed, and until Robert was laying on top of Aaron, straddling him between his thighs as he leant in and stole a kiss between the laughter.

The kiss calmed them down, slow and feeling as they traced lips and teeth with tongues, pouring into one another everything they didn’t yet have the strength to say. Aaron’s body relaxed underneath Robert’s as he succumbed to it, feeling everything come alive inside of him from head to toe.

Robert pulled away unexpectedly – Aaron groaning with the loss of contact – until he saw the look in Robert’s eye, and he held his gaze in expectation of what Robert was about to tell him.

“I know this isn’t perfect, Aaron, but I just...I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

Aaron swallowed down, letting the weight of Robert’s admission flood through him, filling up every empty space within him, making him feel alive in every way; invincible.

“Same here,” he replied, almost choking on the words with disbelief that he was letting himself admit to them.

“I’ve never been like this – this close – with a guy before,” Robert admitted, before looking away as if he regretted his admission.

Aaron’s mouth dropped open in shock that Robert was being so open with him.  

“Really?” he asked, half through a cough of disbelief.

“Really,” Robert admitted, burying it with a kiss for fear of Aaron being able to see the level of his genuineness in his eyes. “You’re… you’re different, to the others,” he added with eyes closed between kisses. “No one has ever made me feel the way you do before.”

Aaron felt the blush creeping over him, his heart racing as he found himself in disbelief that he was hearing this from Robert, words he feared Robert would never want to give to him, let alone find himself able to.

He felt the weight of them settle into his chest, filling his heart with a strange sense of love and belonging that almost scared him with the force of it.

He leant up and placed a lingering kiss against Robert’s lips, feeling Robert respond against him, as if he was trying to tell him the rest of it, the part he couldn’t quite put into words yet.

The atmosphere had changed between them – had become serious, charged with something neither of them wanted to address fully for fear of what the consequences could be – and Aaron felt the need to crack the tension, to make a joke to lighten the mood, to get them back to that playful place they both felt comfortable, and away from this unfamiliar and almost uncomfortable level of seriousness that had descended between them.

It wasn’t that Aaron didn’t feel they needed these words – not as if he didn’t dream of hearing them, yearn for them in those silent times he lay awake alone in his bed with the memory of their adultery surrounding him – but the time between them was so sparse that it was precious, and he was aware of the dangers of them pushing it too far – saying something one or both them would regret admitting to – and that it could end up ruining the limited time they had together.

It was that that made him decide to change tack as he pulled away from the kiss they were sharing.

“So, you’ve never had this before?” Aaron asked with a glint in his eye.

Robert smiled down at him, could see the mischief in his eyes and knew his question was leading somewhere.

“No,” Robert answered definitively.

Aaron did that upturned smile that Robert was becoming far too fond of.

“Okay, so, not...not even with Connor?” Aaron smirked, knowingly.

He saw the confusion etched over Robert’s features, casting his mind back to all of those months ago when he’d first suspected Robert had shared a past with Connor Jensen, the England midfielder who’d played alongside Robert at Hotten Rovers before his career as a player had ended.

“What?” Robert questioned, genuinely confused about where Aaron was heading with this.

Aaron smiled back at him, calming his nerves somewhat. He remembered seeing those pictures on Google that had convinced him about Robert and Connor in the first place, and the conversation they’d had all those months ago when Robert had pretended not to know about Connor, when Aaron had been pretty sure he’d seen straight through him.

He remembered the way that Connor had confirmed everything for him, though, when they’d been on international duty together and Connor hadn’t been able to resist bringing up the subject, making his past with Robert obvious in a quiet moment the two of them shared, when he’d been fishing for information from Aaron about whether he’d ever had the come on from Robert.

Aaron hadn’t known how to feel at the time – half way between anger and jealousy that Robert had been with someone else, an unease and a wariness about whether Connor would be a threat to him and Robert, and then also a sense of satisfaction at his suspicions having been proven correct. It had put him off his game during the last match of the tournament, until he’d finished off his conversation with Connor after the game, and realised that him and Robert were nothing more than an occasional fling; that Connor was harbouring something for Robert that had never been reciprocated, not even close to the way that Aaron knew Robert returned the feelings he had for him.

He’d come to terms with it in the time since then, and now he just saw it as a means to tease Robert for that fact that he’d had his head turned by someone that Aaron had spent his international career repeatedly rejecting.

“Connor Jensen,” Aaron replied, after letting Robert sweat on the details for a second. “You didn’t think I wouldn’t find out, did you?” he smiled, enjoying the way that Robert’s mouth had dropped open in shock.

“Aaron, I – ”

“Don’t worry, I’m only joking with you!” Aaron laughed after seeing the panicked expression on Robert’s face, aware that they both knew Robert had lied about Connor last time they’d brought him up. “I’m not wrong though, am I?” Aaron asked, needing Robert to be honest with him now.

Robert looked over at him sardonically.

“No, you’re not wrong,” he admitted.

“Was he your first?” Aaron smirked back at him.

“Aaron!” he  coughed, unsure he really wanted to have this conversation as he lay naked on top of Aaron, especially after the heartfelt words they’d just exchanged with one another.

“What?” Aaron responded with a smirk, needing Robert to know he was teasing him, that he wasn’t bothered by the answer. “Answer the question!” he pressed further as he rolled them both over and pinned Robert down by his wrists.

“Why?” Robert questioned, a smirk starting to form on his own expression now as he realised the fun that Aaron was having.

“Because I wanna know. And I wanna hear you tell me I’m better in bed than he is,” Aaron joked, smiling down at Robert and letting out a laugh as Robert groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Oh I see what you’re after!” he teased back. “And like you don’t already know,” he added, with a searching look.

“I don’t, actually!” Aaron confirmed, pleased with himself as his smile grew wider. “He may have tried to tap this – numerous times – but I have always turned Connor down. Unlike you!”

Robert rolled him over, pinning him down by his wrists as he climbed between his legs once more.

“Okay, fine, you’re right,” he admitted with a defeated grin, realising that Aaron would be the first person he’d ever told this to. “Connor and I had a couple of one offs. And yes, he was the first guy I slept with.”

Aaron widened his eyes, a hollow kind of victory at getting Robert to admit to it.

“And there might have been other men, too,” Robert continued. “But you wanna know what else?” he added, with a sudden sense of sincerity to his words. “You’re the first guy I ever fell asleep next to and wanted to still be here in the morning.”

Aaron watched the truth in Robert’s eyes as he let his words sink in.

“Yeah?” he asked, his tone losing all of its conviction, the strength knocked out of his words with the admission that Robert had just made to him.

“Yeah,” Robert confirmed, leaning down and stealing a kiss from Aaron’s lips. “And you’re the only person, out of every guy or girl I’ve ever been with, who I would risk everything for, time and time again.”

It took the breath out of Aaron’s lungs, and he looked up at Robert as he lay above him – let himself drown in the sincerity in his tone – and he didn’t care how fucked up it sounded; how they were essentially discussing the fact that Aaron was Robert’s favourite ever bit on the side; how his fiancée’s name was ominous in its absence from the list of Robert’s great conquests. He didn’t care about any of it, because right there in that moment, he believed everything Robert was telling him, and he felt like he knew that Robert wished that everything was different just as much as he did, and he couldn’t help but feel himself falling further and further with each second that passed.

He broke into a smile, and Robert took that as all the invitation he needed as he smiled down at Aaron in return, before devouring his lips again, promising everything with his lips that he could give to him.

And moments later, when Robert had deepened the kiss further, and after he’d prepared Aaron languidly and with less haste than usual, and when he’d let himself sink deep within the man that lay beneath him as he kissed the breath out of his lungs, he made love to Aaron with an intensity he’d never known before, and one that they both spent the rest of the night revisiting, time and time and time again.

 

::

 

 

They hadn’t slept all night through – far too caught up in the feelings they’d invoked in one another the night before and in indulging themselves in the physical manifestation of those emotions – and Aaron had managed to slip out at the crack of dawn when he’d finally managed to tear himself away, after what must have been round five. Robert was up and dressed and ready to head down to the club breakfast before they all caught the coach back to Dales. He slipped out of his hotel room, pulling his door shut behind him as he heard the door to the next room down the corridor open up, and saw Ross Barton walk out.

He was immediately cautious about the look of recognition that plastered over Ross’s face.

“Morning. You okay?” Robert asked, frowning as if he was trying the figure out the ministrations of Ross’s tiny brain as he spoke to him.

Ross looked him up and down for a second before breaking into a smile.

“I’d be better if I’d managed a bit more sleep, boss,” Ross smirked back at him, knowingly.

Robert narrowed his eyes, hoping he was misunderstanding Ross’s meaning, and a panic rose up inside of him as he realised he’d shared a bedroom wall with Ross all evening.

He pushed his fears aside, told himself the walls were soundproof, that they’d heard nothing in the other direction so the likelihood of Ross having heard him and Aaron was slim.

Still, it made his heart beat a little faster as he brushed past Ross and made his way back down to the breakfast hall, eyes meeting with Aaron’s immediately as he walked into the room on the ground floor, surrounded by the rest of his teammates as they traded insults over the breakfast buffet.

His whole body felt the warmth of the secret smile that Aaron sent across the room to him when he walked in, and he licked at his lips with the memory of the night before as he smiled back, before fetching his breakfast and making his way to the table Bob sat at to the side of the room.

He greeted Bob before sitting and eating in silence, watching on as the boys joked around with one another, celebrating the win from the match the night before; catching Aaron’s eye every so often and sharing a knowing smile between them. He checked his phone to see a message from Chrissie saying how much she missed him, and he felt a pang of guilt run through him at the realisation that he’d barely given her a moment’s thought since he’d stepped onto the team bus the day before.

“You want a coffee, boss?”

Robert looked up at the sound of Ross Barton across the breakfast room, frown on his face at the strange notion of Ross actually offering him something.

He didn’t trust him; not unless he had a tackle to place and a ball to win.

“No thanks,” Robert replied across the breakfast room with a frown.

“You sure, boss?” Ross pushed further, aware of the buzz in the room dimming slightly as some of the other boys stopped talking, their interest piqued in whatever Ross was up to as he called out across the room. “You can’t have slept much last night.”

Robert held Ross’s gaze as the realisation of where he was going slowly dawned on him; felt his blood run cold at the self-satisfied grin on Ross’s face.

“Leave it, Ross,” Robert warned, but it only made Ross’s grin widen.

“Does your fiancée want a coffee?” he continued, playful smirk still stretched wide over his face.

“Chrissie isn’t here,” Robert answered with a frown, not realising how he was falling right into Ross’s trap.

“Oh, really?” Ross questioned, a look of exaggerated confusion on his face as he looked around the room, playing to his audience of the teammates listening in. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Ross. I’m sure,” Robert responded, Ross clearly on his last nerve and the sleep deprivation from the night before not helping.

“Only, the sounds coming from your room last night could have fooled me, boss,” he smirked, wide eyed as he tried to act as innocent as he could. “Lucky girl, whoever she was, ‘cos you were giving it some right welly against that headboard all night.”

Ross had a smirk wider than he’d ever seen covering his face, and he looked around the room to lap up the amusement of his teammates as they listened in.

Robert’s expression dropped, and he closed his mouth and clenched his jaw as he felt a wave of panic wash over him, his stomach dropping to the floor as he realised Ross had heard something the night before, even if he could feel an ounce of relief that he at least hadn’t realised it was a guy he’d got in there – and Aaron Dingle specifically, at that.

“Ross, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tried to deny it, but even he was left unconvinced as Ross carried on.

“Kept going for hours,” Ross continued, shamelessly, lapping up the mixture of amusement, shock and awe rippling around the room. “Every time I thought you’d finished it’d start up again, no wonder you look so knackered you barely stopped before the sun was rising.”

“You shut your mouth, Ross, and stop spreading these lies,” Robert insisted, standing now to bring himself level with Ross as he approached his table.

“It’s alright, boss,” Ross reassured him with feigned sincerity. “We’re all friends here, nobody’s gonna run home and tell Chrissie, are we, lads?”

Robert ignored the responses from his team, who seemed to be attempting to hide their clear amusement.

“If you wanna keep your place on the team, Ross, I suggest you stop this right now,” Robert threatened, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears as Ross continued.

“Ooh, alright, keep your hair on!” he laughed, before approaching Robert’s table further and leaning in to make a threat that was for Robert’s ears only. “You wouldn’t dare drop me, boss, not now one word from me has your wifey-to-be asking all sorts of questions,” he pulled back and looked Robert in the eye, showing that he had every intention of following through with his threat if needs be. “How long to the wedding is it now?” Ross added, with a smirk.

Robert felt his heart drop to his stomach.

“Shut your mouth, Ross,” he warned him, clenching his jaw and attempting to regain some form of authority, despite Ross’s display. “This is your last warning,” he added.

“What’s up? Touched a nerve, have I?” Ross teased further, and Robert felt the red mist descending, incredulous that Ross thought he could question his authority in this way; that he was so short sighted as to use something like this to damage his reputation, putting their chances of success for the rest of the season in jeopardy like this.

He chanced a glance around the room, noticing the majority of his players looking in their direction, listening in, faces etched with a mixture of disdain, amusement and discomfort, most of them not knowing where to look. His eyes met Aaron’s across the room, and he felt the rage within him dissipate somewhat at the look in his eyes – concern emanating from him – and he felt the overwhelming urge to protect him and what they had, aware that if anyone had any hint of what him and Aaron were up to then they might have to stop, and aware that – especially after the night before – that wasn’t something he was willing to consider.

“Well you’re mistaken, Ross,” Robert bit back, deciding he needed to fight fire with fire. “I was asleep for 10 last night, and whatever kept you awake certainly didn’t keep me up. Maybe it was all in your imagination, eh? I mean, how long has it been for you, Ross? So long your mind must be playing tricks on you?”

He heard the ripple go around the room, the team clearly enjoying seeing Ross getting put in his place just as much as they enjoyed watching him in action moments earlier.

Ross scoffed in reply, responding with a knowing smirk and a shake of his head as he saw exactly what Robert was doing; but he knew he needed to draw the line and decided to drop it, for the sake of his desire to keep his place on the team. He hadn’t forgotten the way Robert had dropped Aaron a while ago for seemingly no good reason, after all.

“Whatever you say boss,” Ross smirked as he decided to drop it and walk away, making his way back over to the rest of the lads to enjoy the rest of his breakfast.

Robert took a deep breath as he tried to steady his heart rate back to normal, ignoring Bob’s attempts at conversation as he sat back down at the table and pushed the remainder of his breakfast around his plate, before deciding against finishing it.

When the stares from around the room had ceased, he looked over in Aaron’s direction, catching his eye after a short second and feeling a rush of warmth through him when Aaron offered him a half smile, and mouthed an _Are you okay?_ towards him.

He nodded, before looking away as soon as Adam spotted the two of them exchanging looks across the room, and made his excuses to Bob as he walked away from the breakfast room and made his way outside to the team coach.

 

 

::

 

 

Aaron had wanted nothing more than to check if Robert was alright after his exchange with Ross, but he’d held back, aware that he was the cause of his potential loss of reputation, and unsure whether Robert would blame him in some way for his impending marriage being put at risk.

He ignored the pain that coursed through him at that realisation – that no matter what Robert had said to him the night before, and no matter how much he genuinely believed every word he had said – he was never going to be Robert’s first priority.

He offered him a quick smile as he passed him on his way onto the team coach, Robert smiling in return before Adam pushed him in the back and forced him onto the coach before he had a chance to talk to Aaron.

“You wanna make it any more obvious?” Adam cursed at Aaron under his breath as he followed him down the aisle of the team coach.

“What you on about?” Aaron snapped as he flung hit kit bag into the overheard compartment and slid into one of the seats, Adam following suit and sitting beside him.

Adam looked around the coach – checking that the other couple of players sat towards the back weren’t listening in, and that Ross wasn’t on board yet – before leaning in and whispering forcefully to Aaron.

“That, this morning, with Ross,” he hissed. “You couldn’t take your eyes off Robert, looking all concerned. Anyone could have guessed it’s you he’s fucking.”

“What are you on about?” Aaron hissed back, interrupting him, eyes darting around the coach to check that nobody could have heard what Adam said.

“You need to cool it down,” Adam pushed. “Especially after Ross’s outburst, everyone is gonna be on the lookout –”

“Nobody’s gonna guess it’s me, Adam,” he insisted back, still checking around the coach to make sure nobody was listening in. “These narrow minded dicks are only ever gonna think it’s a girl, anyway.”

“Whatever, man. You need to be careful with him, after that.”

“Yeah, and I will be,” Aaron insisted, aware even in his agitated state that Adam had a point; that Ross’s outburst would have Robert probably wanting to put things on the backburner, even if Robert had denied everything and made Ross look like an idiot in the breakfast room.

With that thought on his mind, he took his phone out of his pocket and sent a text off to Robert.

**_Aaron:_ ** _You okay? Ignore Ross he’s being a dick. Everyone knows he makes stuff up all the time. He doesn’t know anything. X_

He knew it reeked somewhat of desperation, but he’d been desperate for Robert to reassure him that he wasn’t going to end things out of fear of Ross finding out and exposing them.

He waited impatiently for a reply as they sat on the bus in strained silence, checking his phone every few seconds and getting more and more agitated as no reply came through, craning his head against the window to try and catch sight of Robert stood outside the team coach with no success.

He sighed in frustration, flinching as Adam knocked him and told him to stop panicking.

It took a few more minutes, and the coach slowly filling up with players, before Robert’s reply came through.

**_Robert:_ ** _Thanks. I’m fine. At least I’ve got last night to think about to make me smile. X_

The smile stretched across Aaron’s face, and he couldn’t even try to hide it from Adam.

“For fuck’s sake,” Adam cursed as he shook his head in disbelief that they clearly weren’t going to let what happened with Ross stop them. “You can’t help yourself, can you? Does it even bother you that I’m having to lie to Vic about this every day?”

“Course it bothers me,” Aaron whispered back, still checking that nobody was listening in.

“If I’m lying to her and protecting you for some meaningless fling –”

“It’s not a fling, Ad,” Aaron interrupted him, looking him in the eye for the first time since they got on the bus. “It’s… I don’t know, Ad. But it’s more than a fling. It’s so much more –”

“Are you in love with him?” Adam asked, interrupting, his voice gone weak as a realisation ran through him as he looked Aaron in the eye, saw him pale with the thought of it, in the knowledge he’d been found out.

Aaron didn’t respond, just swallowed down and turned to look out of the coach window.

“Shit, you are,” Adam confirmed to himself, leaning his head back against the chair with the weight of his realisation, before turning back to face Aaron. “Mate, what are you gonna do about Chr –”

“Just shut your mouth, okay,” Aaron hissed at him, snapping his head back around to face him, unable to hear _her name_ again with everything else that was spinning through his head.

“Ooh, do calm down boys,” Ross teased as he walked past them on his way down the aisle of the coach, passing them just as Aaron snapped at Adam and finding great amusement in it, oblivious to the fact that their argument was directly linked to his devious tactics in the breakfast room earlier on. “Lover’s tiff is it?” he added with a shit-eating grin.

“Fuck off, Ross,” Aaron muttered, turning to face the window and drowning out the rest of his surroundings for the remainder of the journey home, Adam’s words and his own realisation whirring on a loop around his mind, wondering how the hell he’d managed to let himself fall in love with a man who was about to commit himself to someone else for the rest of his life.

 

 

::

 

 

Training the next day had been awkward and stilted, Robert attempting to serve up instructions for the team and retain his authority, despite Ross’s constant jibes about his discovery at the hotel the day before.

Aaron had barely slept for the second night in a row – for wholly different reasons, even with the same man at the heart of it – and he was growing more and more frustrated throughout the training session as his sleep deprivation started to have an impact on his performance on the pitch.

He’d spent the night flitting between indulging himself with the memory of the night before with Robert, and chastising himself for allowing himself to get so far involved with a man who was about to marry someone else.

By the time the training session was drawing to a close, he’d got himself worked up in frustration over everything he wanted and the realisation that he could never have it, and Ross hadn’t helped with his constant jibes throughout training.

“How long is it ‘til the wedding, boss?” he teased at the end of the training session, as they made their way back into the changing rooms, unaware of the way the reminder of it felt like a dagger to Aaron’s heart as he listened on. “Couple of weeks after the season ends, isn’t it?”

Robert swallowed down, attempting to ignore him, aware of Aaron’s presence on the pitch behind Ross; aware of the way every mention of the wedding must hurt Aaron a thousand times more than it hurt him; aware of the way that Aaron had seemed to become more and more closed off and frustrated as the training session had drawn on.

Aaron caught his eye, and Robert felt a tugging inside his chest at the pain that was etched into his expression, Robert himself feeling heartbroken as he noticed the contrast between this broken man stood before him, and the one who had been so happy and full of life in his hotel room just 36 hours before.

“Bet the mistress isn’t happy about it,” Ross teased.

“Just shut your mouth and get changed, Ross,” Robert dismissed him, making his way over to Aaron to ask him for a chat, disguising it with some excuse about needing to work on his target practice as the rest of the boys made their way inside, Adam the only one to look over at them with suspicion.

He waited until all of them were out of sight, before turning to Aaron and reaching out to stroke a reassuring hand down along his forearm.

Aaron flinched away from him and turned his back, firing one of the rogue balls in the direction of goal, the ball pinging off the crossbar as Aaron groaned at another missed shot.

“Aaron?” Robert questioned, unsure why he’d changed towards him in the blink of an eye. “Aaron, will you talk to me?”

“About what, Robert?” he snapped, turning to face him. “About this wedding Ross keeps reminding me about?”

Robert closed his eyes and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he offered, meaning it genuinely, wanting more than anything to be able to stop the pain that Aaron clearly felt at the constant reminder of his impending nuptials.

“Sorry enough to call off the wedding?” Aaron snapped in reply, surprising even himself with how direct he was.

“What?” Robert asked, seemingly caught off guard with his request, hadn’t envisaged Aaron would ever make such a serious statement, not when they’d spent the last few months ignoring that the wedding was even happening.

Aaron sighed, kicking at the ground as he shook his head and turned away from him again, firing another ball towards goal, this one going so far over the bar he rolled his neck and groaned in frustration.

“Don’t worry, I’m not serious,” Aaron muttered, even if every bone in his body was urging him to stop lying to himself.

“Come on, you know how it is, Aaron,” Robert urged him, his voice soft and pleading as he attempted to console the man before him. “I thought you were okay with this –”

“With what?” Aaron snapped.

“With this, us,” Robert replied in earnest. “With carrying on, as we are, as long as it’s good, yeah?”

Robert knew he was being unfair, bringing up their conversation from the hotel, from before Ross had piped up and attempted to ruin everything.

“Well maybe it’s not good anymore,” Aaron murmured dismissively in reply, firing another shot that managed to trickle wide of goal.

“I don’t believe you,” Robert challenged him, stepping forward and grabbing at Aaron’s arm, forcing him to turn and face him. “What happened to it’ll always be good for you?”

Aaron bit on his bottom lip, eyes closed as his mind replayed that night in the hotel back to him, the rush of feelings overwhelming him as he remembered everything he’d shared with Robert that night, and he felt the tears welling up.

He opened his eyes, looking Robert in the eye before him, realising that every ounce of his own pain and uncertainty was reflected back in Robert’s expression, too.

“I thought I could handle it, Robert,” he admitted, clenching at his jaw in an effort to stop the tears from falling but finding his efforts unsuccessful. “I thought I could deal with it but I can’t, Robert. I’m sorry.”

Aaron turned and fired the last of the balls towards goal, turning around and walking away before even noticing how the ball curved perfectly into the top right corner of the goal, the first of his efforts to find the net in the whole training session.

“Aaron, please,” Robert called out after him as he turned on his heels to follow him back to the changing rooms. “Please, you can’t walk away from this, from us, not like this,” he pleaded.

Aaron stopped and turned to face him, finding his resolve weakened immediately when he was faced with the look of pure devastation on Robert’s face, the thought of being without Aaron cutting through him.

“I’m not walking away from us. I just, I don’t think I’ve got it in me to watch you marry someone else, Robert,” he admitted, holding his arms out to his side as he opened himself up to Robert.

Robert went to reach out to him – wanted to reassure him with all of the platitudes he kissed into Aaron’s skin that night at the hotel; wanted to tell him all of the ways that he needed Aaron to stick with him, needed to keep Aaron by his side – but the sound of Chrissie’s voice echoing across the training pitch towards them pulled them both out of their haze.

“Robert, darling,” she called out towards them, waiting at the side of the pitch to avoid digging her stiletto heels into the grass. “I need your help, it’s urgent,” she pleaded.

Aaron clenched his jaw, closing his eyes as the sound of her voice carried over the pitch, aware that  Robert was obviously about to choose helping her over finishing this conversation with him; just like he knew he’d choose her every time.

“Walk away, then,” Aaron told him, dismissively.

“Aaron –”

“Go to your fiancée, Robert,” Aaron interrupted him, voice cracking with the pain of the knowledge of the choice Robert was about to make.

“We need to talk about this, Aaron –”

“Stay, then,” he shrugged, shaking his head as he laughed at the very real ultimatum laid before Robert. “Make a choice, Robert. Stay here, tell her to go, and we can talk about this, properly.”

He watched as Robert glanced across at Chrissie, hand on her hips as she waited for him impatiently, confused as to why he hadn’t already dropped everything to go to her.

“Or go, go to her,” Aaron pressed, biting down on his lip. “It’s your choice, Robert,” he shrugged.

They stood on the pitch for what seemed like forever, Robert wanting nothing more than to stay here with Aaron, to make sure everything wasn’t over between them, that they could work past things and carry on as they had been before; but all too well aware of his fiancée in need of his help, especially as she called out to him again with a growing degree of impatience.

Robert looked over to her – the beautiful woman who’d agreed to marry him; the woman who was giving him everything he thought he ever needed from life – and then he looked back at Aaron, and he saw before him everything that he’d need to go through to be able to give Aaron what he needed from him, and he knew he wasn’t strong enough to be that person for him.

He knew he had no choice; knew he couldn’t stay with Aaron, however much he wanted to.

Chrissie was his future.

He loved her; and he knew he had to choose her; regardless of how much he knew it was going to break his own heart to walk away from Aaron.

He had to choose her.

So that’s what he did.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered to Aaron, clenching at his jaw as he turned on his heels and made his way towards Chrissie, biting down on his lip to stop the tears falling as he walked away from him.

He didn’t look back, but if he had done, he would have seen Aaron struggling to stop himself from falling to his knees in despair, as the only man he’d ever loved walked away from him.

And this time, he told himself it had to be for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T HATE ME  
> They love each other very much still  
> Let me know what you thought!   
> As always, I'm on tumblr @wellyfullofale


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note to say THANK YOU so much, I am genuinely overwhelmed with the reaction to the last chapter. It honestly means so much to me - I am ridiculously insecure about my writing so to see your feedback means everything. 
> 
> And that you were so nice after I left you with that ending as well!! You're all quite wonderful, aren't you!! <3
> 
> Anyway here's another update, sorry about the wait again. Hope you like it :)

It couldn’t be over for good; of course it couldn’t.

Aaron might have tried to avoid Robert in training for the weeks that followed; and he might have not replied to a single one of the plethora of text messages Robert had sent him, begging for him to listen and to talk to him again; and he might have not answered a single one of those phone calls that Robert insisted on pestering him with every evening too; but he knew, deep down.

He knew he’d give in and fall back to Robert, eventually.

It was just that whenever he let himself make that realisation, he felt the devastation of that day at the training ground pierce through the fragile walls of his heart again; saw Robert walking away from him and towards Chrissie again; and he forced himself to box away the feelings and swear he’d never let himself consider taking Robert back again.

He knew he was kidding himself if he thought it would ever be possible.

Still, he swore he needed to protect himself and that fragile heart of his; even if he’d spent every night of those two weeks since that day dreaming of what could have been, of how things might have been for them had Robert only chosen to walk in his direction that day instead of Chrissie’s.

Would they still be in the limbo that they’d spent those almost-blissful few months in, even if Aaron could see now how he’d been quietly suffering throughout them, desperate for Robert to give him more of himself? Would he still be kidding himself that he was fine with always being second best? Would he still be insisting to his best mate that he could deal with the pain and heartbreak, even if he knew there was no way he ever really could?

Probably, he thought to himself.

He’d probably still be putting up with anything, if it meant having Robert close to him; if it meant being able to steal those few heaven-sent moments with him whenever they were alone together.

That day at the training ground had been a wake-up call for him, though.

He’d cried his heart into his pillow that night when he’d got back home, his heart still lying on the ground back at the training pitch, no good to anyone now it had been decimated into a thousand pieces. Adam had comforted him through it – offered up FIFA and a shoulder to cry on, leaving the _I told you so’_ s at the door as Aaron always knew he would.

He’d put the walls up the next day, blocked out any chance of feeling anything ever again, unwilling to let himself get burnt by that flame again.

His heartrate had spiked every evening over those next two weeks whenever he’d seen Robert’s name appear on his lockscreen, whether he was staring at it as he let a phone call ring out, or swiping away another of his texts to hide it away from himself. He never opened any of them – fully aware that each one would be laden with admissions and apologies that he had no strength to read through and no inclination to let himself believe – and he let the number on his WhatsApp notifications rise and rise like it was taunting him as the days passed by.

He felt a growing resentment inside of him each time he forced himself to avoid Robert’s eye at training; could sense his gaze boring into his turned back with a growing intensity every day, and forced himself to flinch away from any attempt his manager made at contact.

Robert had given up trying to corner him at the end of training after a couple of days; had seemed to almost resign himself to the fact that Aaron was done with him, even if Aaron knew there was no way he was going to give up without a fight.

They’d had two games over the fortnight, and they’d lost both of them to last minute goals each time, and emotions were heightened in the dressing room as they slipped further down the league table with only a couple of games to go until the end of the season. Their grip on the title was well and truly gone – mathematically impossible, in actual fact – but with a place in Europe still up for grabs they all knew they needed to pull things together for the final few games, for the sake of salvaging something out of the season that bettered mid-table mediocrity, at least.

It was looking less and less likely with each day that passed, though – with their best striker in the worst dip of form commentators had ever seen from him before, and with Robert seeming to have completely lost any interest in serving the usual platitudes up to the press after each game. The post-match press interviews turned solemn and monosyllabic; the media starting to comment on the fact that Robert always seemed to look like he had somewhere he’d rather be during recent interviews, passing comment on whether he had the stamina for such a high profile job, or whether the novelty had worn off for him now that times had gotten a little tougher. The team had noticed it, too – their once passionate and determined manager having disappeared over the space of a fortnight – and all he could offer was a lacklustre speech in the dressing room before and after each game; gone was the usual fighting talk he usually instilled in all of them, the high standards they knew they had to produce for him to be satisfied.

They couldn’t know, of course, that all of it was caused by his heart slowly breaking; pieces of its shattered remains splintering into him further with each second he spent in Aaron’s closed-off presence; tortured by the regret of what he’d let himself do that day after training; what he’d let himself lose through his own cowardice.

He hated himself for it more and more, with each day that passed.

He wasn’t giving up without a fight, though; he needed Aaron Dingle back in his life, and he vowed that he wouldn’t stop at anything until he made him listen.

It took until the penultimate game of the season – a Saturday night game with a 5.30pm kick off, one that had been moved for Sky when they presumably thought they would be in with a chance of seeing the title contenders on the game that could have seen them lift the silverware, but their recent run of form put paid to the chances of that happening – and yet again, they found themselves a goal down as they broke for half time.

Robert watched on from the sidelines, shouting his orders across the pitch and finding himself stubbornly and characteristically ignored by his centre forward every time. He became more and more agitated as the game went on – even more so when Pete Barton managed to net an own goal on forty minutes to put their opponents on the scoreboard – and was unable to keep the rage from his face as he followed the team down the tunnel after the half time whistle.

“What are you playing at? You can’t ignore me like that during the games,” he seethed at Aaron under his breath, grabbing at his arm as he tried to walk past him and make his way into the changing rooms.

Aaron forcefully shrugged himself out of Robert’s grip and shot him a look of defiance, to which Robert refused to back down, crowding him up against the wall as he pushed his body up against Aaron’s.

“However much you might hate me right now, don’t bring this onto the pitch,” Robert warned him with hushed tones and sharp edges. “You’re better than this Aaron, you’re a professional footballer for g – ”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Aaron interrupted him, holding his eye contact for the first time in what felt like weeks.

He tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat at the sight of those blue eyes trained on him again; the way his body felt the pull of Aaron against his chest.

“You know what you’ve done, Robert,” Aaron uttered back at him through clenched teeth, urging his face forwards ever so slightly as he held Robert’s gaze, just mere centimetres from him; hissing certain words out with added emphasis as he made sure Robert knew exactly where his head was at. “And you don’t get to tell me how to _feel_ about it, Robert,” he continued. “If I _wanna_ be angry, I’ll _be_ angry, and there’s _nothing_ you can do to stop me. So just _back_ off, and _deal_ with it. _You_ caused all of this.”

Robert continued to hold his gaze for a few tense seconds, before dropping his shoulders and the forearm he realised he had pressed up against Aaron’s chest to hold him up against the wall, stepping backwards and letting Aaron move past him and into the changing rooms, unaware until he moved away quite how close they’d been.

Robert took a second to steady his breath, glancing sideways and barking a “ _What?”_ at the two young mascots who’d witnessed his and Aaron’s moment, rolling his eyes and blinking back his immediate regret as they scuttled off away from him.

_Don’t meet you heroes._

He sighed, letting the rush of oxygen through his lungs steady him somewhat, before braving his way into the changing rooms and letting rip on the team as they sat around in recovery, elbows resting on knees and heads dipped in the knowledge that they hadn’t been giving their best for the entire game; or the few games that preceded, if they were honest.

They started to sit upright as Robert tore into them – frustration from the past couple of weeks finally rising to the surface and brimming over as he told them what he thought of their first half display – and they each took their deserved share of the criticism before nodding and agreeing to Robert’s instructions for the second half.

All apart from Aaron, that was, who stared at the ceiling for the entirety of Robert’s rant, and shrugged his shoulders in response to Robert’s call to arms for the second half.

It didn’t go unnoticed – not by Robert, who decided to drop it and walk back out onto the pitch; and not by his teammates, who muttered disapproval under their breath as they all made their way back out for the second half.

Aaron continued his poor run of form as the second half got under way – giving the ball away on two occasions, and completely misreading a pass from Adam that would have put him clear through on goal – instead watching as the ball rolled out of play behind him and the chance disappeared.

The fans were getting on their backs – whistling and agitated with each missed opportunity – and Robert knew what he needed to do.

He gave his instructions to the dugout, and moments later the fourth official was holding up the substitutes board to announce Aaron was being subbed off for one of the academy lads; murmurs of confusion seeming to echo around the stadium at the bold move Robert was making, all the while he tried to ignore the knowledge hidden deep down inside of him that he knew this was making a statement to Aaron, yet again.

Still, he hadn’t been performing on the pitch; something had to change.

Robert attempted to look supportive as Aaron and his furious expression made their way towards the dugout, slapping the academy lad on the back as he switched places with Aaron, and attempting to do the same to Aaron as he passed him by and went to walk down the tunnel.

Aaron reacted, though – in full view of the tens of thousands of supporters in the crowd inside the stadium, and the thousands more watching on TV back at home – shoving at Robert forcefully as he recoiled away from Robert’s attempt at a supportive back-slap before walking straight down the tunnel to the changing rooms, ignoring Robert’s orders to come back and take a seat in the dugout.

A murmur of confused conversation rippled around the ground amongst supporters who’d witnessed the display – all of them aware of Aaron Dingle’s temper; his instinctive reactions to various things they’d seen on the pitch – but they’d all always seen him as the ultimate professional deep down, and to see him react so violently towards his manager had them sharing concerns about his head space, especially in light of his recent dip of form.

It didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the world of football, either – the commentators from Sky TV discussing it at length for the remainder of the game, and the pundits in the TV studio showing the incident on repeat, verbalising their disapproval of the entire saga. Within moments they were trending on twitter – keyboard warriors and genuine fans sharing their views on the matter – and the headlines on TV and in the newspapers in days to come would discuss the incident at length.

It was all everybody was talking about; almost neglecting to mention that Dales had managed to slot home an equalising goal shortly after the incident took place, and a winner later on in the game, too.

That wasn’t what everybody was interested in knowing about, though – the reporters after the game in the press conference focusing on one question only when Robert sat before them: what _was_ up with Aaron Dingle?

Robert dodged answering the question truthfully – giving them some excuse about tensions running high in the dressing room as the season drew to a close; the players all equally disappointed that the game wasn’t one in which they could have secured the title – and despite the murmurs throughout the room suggesting they didn’t believe him, he refused to give them any more than that.

He knew there would be others asking questions though, with Lawrence White at the top of that list.

Sure enough, as Robert made his way into the dressing room to see the team after speaking to the press, his speech was cut short by the door slamming open, Lawrence stood the other side of it, face beet red with the anger emanating out of him.

“Sugden, Dingle – my office, NOW!” he ordered, before turning around and storming off, expecting them to oblige and follow him without questioning his reasons.

His tone left them with no doubt that he meant business, and despite their situation Aaron allowed himself to catch Robert’s eye for a second, swallowing down as the regret over his earlier actions started to sink in, and he saw the fear of his own reflected back in the look Robert gave him too, and he had to stop himself from feeling sorry for the man who still owned his entire heart.

Aaron felt a hand against his shoulder – shrugging it off instinctively before he realised it was Adam offering him support – but he ignored the platitudes as he got to his feet and made his way out of the dressing room and up to Lawrence’s office, aware that Robert was following shortly behind him.

He walked at pace – wanted to avoid having any kind of conversation with Robert; much in the same way he’d avoided any interaction with him at all over the past few weeks, all too well aware of the walls he’d built up to protect himself from feeling anything close to the pain he’d felt that day that Robert had chosen Chrissie over him, yet how weak the foundations of those walls were where Robert Sugden was concerned.

“Aaron, wait up,” he heard from behind him, knowing who it was without needing to turn around and check.

He’d almost made it up to Lawrence’s office without Robert catching up with him, but not quite.

He ignored Robert’s first few calls, until he could tell that Robert was right behind him, and he felt the tug against his elbow, and he stopped in his tracks as he pulled him around to face him in the corridor just metres away from Robert’s office.

Aaron still got goose bumps when he came up here; when he thought of everything they’d shared in those four walls.

It made those internal walls of his own start to crumble somewhat, and he rolled his eyes as he scolded himself for it.

“What?” he questioned as Robert stood before him; attempting to keep his tone dismissive.

He was successful, if the crestfallen look in Robert’s eyes was anything to go by.

“Wh – what are you gonna say? In there?” Robert asked him; stuttering somewhat, as if he was scared that Aaron was about to blow his whole world apart; as if he thought Aaron was about to tell Lawrence everything.

He saw the fear in Robert’s eyes, then – wrapped up in sadness, and a weariness that he hadn’t noticed developing over the past two weeks but now seemed undeniable as he finally allowed himself to properly _look_ at Robert – and he couldn’t help but feel a little of Robert’s pain rush through his whole body.

“Please don’t say anything, about us,” Robert pleaded, his voice weak and laced with something close to fear.

Aaron’s shoulders dropped slightly, hands still shoved in his pockets in a defensive manner, but he dropped the steely expression from his face, letting out a sigh as his defences started to waver.

“Of course I’m not gonna say anything, Robert,” he reassured him.

Robert sighed out in relief, stepping back slightly and letting his own shoulders drop.

“You actually think I’d out you to your fiancée’s dad?” Aaron asked, a little offended now that Robert seemed to think so little of him.

“No – I don’t know,” Robert struggled to get out, talking in hushed tones to avoid any chance of being overheard. “You’re angry at me – and I get why, I really do – but I didn’t, I just didn’t know what you’d do – ”

“I’m angry at you because you _chose_ her, Robert,” Aaron hissed at him – voice lowered as he glanced down the corridor to ensure they weren’t being overheard; stepping in closer to crowd into Robert’s personal space. “You threw it all away, Robert. Took what you wanted and then walked away from me like we were nothing – ”

“It wasn’t like that – ”

“Don’t you dare, Robert!” Aaron interrupted him, stopped Robert from trying to defend what Aaron had spent two weeks telling himself was indefensible. “Don’t you try and make out like you didn’t just drop me and walk away, after making me think that _this_ – ” he gestured between the two of them to make sure Robert was left with no doubt what he was referring to ,“ _this_ actually meant something to you; that you made me fall – that you made me _want_ something with you – ”

“It did mean something to me!” Robert interrupted him, the force behind his words stopping Aaron mid-sentence and leaving him taken aback for a second; long enough for Robert to see the way Aaron swallowed past the lump in his throat as he let Robert’s words sink in. “It did – it does, Aaron,” he admitted, softly. “Why do you think I’ve been desperately trying to contact you since it happened? Have you even read one of my texts? Or listened to my voicemails?”

Aaron sighed as he broke his gaze and flitted his attention down to the floor, his mind flicking back to all those unchecked messages from Robert, and the voicemails that he’d let fill up his inbox without ever listening to.

“I miss you,” Robert admitted shakily, with that soft tone of voice he seemed to reserve only for Aaron; eyes searching Aaron’s for any hint of forgiveness as they flickered back up to look at him again; his hand instinctively stroking up Aaron’s bicep as he stepped in closer.

Aaron seemed to let him for a moment – seemed to lose himself in hearing the words he hadn’t admitted he’d been desperate to hear from Robert – and he could feel himself falling back into it again; could feel the pull of Robert’s body close to his own; could smell that scent that was unmistakably _Robert_ , citrus shower gel mixed with desire and anticipation; and he let himself get lost in it for a moment as Robert held his gaze.

He could hear the voice inside his head – the angel on his shoulder – telling him this wasn’t right for him, that he shouldn’t be allowing himself to fall back under Robert’s spell; not this easily and not without laying out all of their grievances first – but he felt that well of _lust_ rush through him, and he knew he was powerless against it.

He felt himself leaning into Robert’s touch, holding his gaze as his feet started to carry him closer into Robert’s orbit –

Until Robert’s gaze flickered behind him; his arm suddenly dropping to his side as he took a step backwards.

Aaron felt himself almost fall forwards as the momentum of his need for Robert failed to stop him; as he lingered in that state of want and confusion for a fraction of a second, until he heard Robert speak and he snapped back out of it.

“Hi John, you okay?” Robert spoke, his tone bright and confident, and Aaron snapped his head around to see the club’s Head of Hospitality walking down the corridor behind them.

Aaron hadn’t even realised where they were for that second; he’d lost himself in Robert’s orbit entirely and failed to realise how exposed they were, stood in the middle of this corridor where anybody could walk past.

“Good result today!” John exclaimed in his usual sunlight demeanour, despite his eyes shifting between Aaron and Robert with a hint of unease, surely aware of what had happened between them on the pitch that evening, as well as likely more than a little confused over what it was he had just interrupted.

“Yeah, finally,” Robert smiled back at him politely.

Aaron watched Robert as time seemed to pass by in slow motion; realisation settling in for him about what Robert had just done; about the way he’d recoiled away from Aaron’s touch as soon as they’d been in danger of getting caught, hadn’t even hesitated for a second as he’d backed away from Aaron as soon as he’d noticed John approaching.

Aaron found himself realising what that meant.

How he could see a pattern approaching.

How he knew it meant that Robert would do this every single time; drop him like he was nothing as soon as someone even came close to discovering what they were to one another.

He knew Robert was never going to risk anything for him; might never have the courage to be the man that Aaron needed him to be.

He felt his heart breaking as he realised it; as John passed behind them, giving Aaron an awkward nod as he walked away from them and through the double doors at the end of the corridor, leaving them alone once more; and as Robert attempted to step back towards Aaron, resuming the position they’d been in before John interrupted them.

But Aaron couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t let himself give in to it – not again, and not after the way Robert had just reacted.

He stepped backwards, away from Robert’s touch, his walls back up again as he saw the realisation on Robert’s face.

“You missed your chance, Robert,” Aaron shrugged as he shook his head, retreating back further away from his manager.

“Aaron, no, please,” Robert begged him, softly. “Stay and let’s talk about this.”

“Lawrence is waiting,” Aaron reminded him dismissively, before turning on his heels and walking the short distance towards Lawrence’s office, knocking on the door loudly as he waited for Robert to join him.

He did so seconds later, attempting to talk Aaron around once more but finding himself cut short by the fury with which Lawrence opened his office door and ordered them inside.

It was an impressive office, but one both Aaron and Robert knew they weren’t necessarily welcome to take a seat in – especially when they had been called up in such a disciplined fashion – and they each stood side by side in front of the expansive desk as they waited for Lawrence to give them a piece of his mind.

Aaron shoved his hands into his pockets, taking in the room before him as Lawrence seemed to make them sweat as he took a phone call, seeming to be his PA with a routine call to advise Lawrence that the press and Sky TV trucks had signed out and were vacating the stadium.

Aaron took in the impressive view from the window behind Lawrence’s desk, looking out over the pitch. It was dark now – approaching 9pm – and the floodlights lit up the pitch, stewards making their way out of the stadium after having done their post-match stadium checks, and the groundsmen finishing off their pitch work as other staff made their way home.

Aaron knew they’d be some of the last to leave the ground – the other players having already been seconds away from leaving when Lawrence had come down to give himself and Aaron their orders – and Aaron supposed that at least him and Adam had driven in to the game separately, meaning Adam wouldn’t be waiting around for them. The other ground staff had been dwindling out as they’d made their way up to Lawrence’s office, too.

There was certainly something eerie about being somewhere like the stadium after hours – somewhere that had been so buzzing with life and excitement just a few hours previously – now silent and deserted as the night drew in.

Lawrence finished his phone call, and Aaron stood up a little straighter as he turned to face the two of them.

“Would one of you care to explain to me what happened out there today?”

His tone was harsh and curt, and he sat in his chair and looked up at them both as if he were a headmaster disciplining two rogue students.

Robert cleared his throat to speak, but Aaron jumped in before he had the chance.

“It was me,” he offered, holding Lawrence’s stare as he elaborated. “I was frustrated with the result, with the way I’ve been playing. Robert was right to sub me off but I didn’t like it so I acted out. I was wrong, I’m sorry.”

Robert looked over at him with a look of pure admiration.

“Aaron, no,” he let out, almost without thinking. “It wasn’t your fault. I’d wound him up before the game, laid into him too much about his recent form. I wasn’t fair to him, so I’m as much to blame as he is,” he lied.

Aaron avoided Robert’s gaze, but he couldn’t ignore the way his chest swelled a little at the sound of Robert defending him, in the same way he knew he had with Robert. He knew he had to ignore it, though – knew it was what was best for him, for his own peace of mind, that he needed to give himself the chance to move on from Robert, get over him and let himself move on and find someone who could be with him in the way he needed.

It was just that even the thought of being without Robert sounded like hell; the thought of moving on from him impossible.

“Do you realise you’ve made a spectacle of us?” Lawrence continued, his voice stern and aggressive. “I expected better of both of you. Robert, you’ve got a lot to prove in this role, and these past few weeks have made me question my decision to trust you with it.”

Aaron’s stomach dropped at hearing Lawrence talk about Robert like that, and he glanced over to see Robert looking to the ground in disappointment.

“It’s us, not him,” Aaron defended him, aware of Robert turning to face him in his peripheral vision. “Robert’s doing a great job, it’s the players you need to speak to.”

He heard Robert sigh with gratitude beside him – quiet enough that Lawrence couldn’t hear it, but Aaron was so in tune with Robert’s every move that he knew the wave of appreciation that came alongside it.

“Well, don’t you worry I intend on doing exactly that,” Lawrence assured.

They both stood side by side and nodded along as Lawrence carried on, delivering some speech about club standards and expectations by virtue of the position they found themselves in on such a public stage, but Aaron couldn’t concentrate on much of what Lawrence was saying to them, not with the proximity of Robert’s arm to his own as they stood beside each other; his senses so aware of the sight brush of Robert’s arm against his own whenever he moved slightly, gesturing to reply to Lawrence about his apologies for the past few games; his slight body heat making the hairs on Aaron’s forearms prickle as he stood there in his club t-shirt.

All he could think of was the feel of Robert’s hands against him once more, touching him, holding him like he’d been so desperate for over the past couple of weeks; reminiscing about how many times they’d devoted every part of one another to each other; how he’d ascended to a higher plane of existence each time Robert had taken him apart with his lips on his body; how he knew nothing and nobody was ever going to compare to Robert, for him; how he’d spent the last two weeks dreaming of Robert, of the way he could tear him apart with just his tongue on his -

“Aaron?”

He zoned back into the present, Lawrence glaring up at him as if waiting for him to respond to a question he had no recollection of hearing.

He glanced sideways to Robert, saw him looking back at him wide-eyed, giving him the tiniest nod to indicate the correct response to whatever Lawrence was asking.

“Erm, yeah?” he replied, still not sure what he was asking.

Lawrence sighed and rolled his eyes disapprovingly.

“I asked if you could promise me we won’t have another spectacle like tonight again. We can’t afford any more bad press,” Lawrence asked sternly.

“’Course, it won’t happen again,” Aaron nodded with less hesitation this time.

“Good,” Lawrence nodded. “Now get out of my sight, the both of you.”

They both nodded at Lawrence, Robert apologising once again, before turning and holding out his arm to let Aaron out of the room before him. They walked down the corridors of the club offices together in silence, like two naughty schoolkids who knew they’d gotten away with something and wanted to be clear of the headmaster’s office before they celebrated it, and it was only when they’d turned the corridor out of sight of Lawrence’s office that Robert stopped, glancing down the corridor left to right to check they were alone, then threw all sense and reason to the back of his mind as he pulled against Aaron’s elbow to stop him walking away, then pulling some more until Aaron was stood toe to toe with him, looking up at him in confusion about why he’d stopped them in the middle of the corridor.

He put all sense of logic and reason to the back of his mind – only had the sound of Aaron defending him to Lawrence replaying over in his head – as he crowded up against Aaron, stepping him backwards until his body was wedged between Robert’s body and the wall behind him, and he urged forwards to claim the kiss from Aaron’s lips that he’d been so desperate for since the last time he’d been blessed with it.

He pushed his lips against Aaron’s, a groan escaping him involuntarily as he felt the curves of Aaron’s body settle into the spaces of his own so perfectly, like they were carved from two halves of the same stone, and he felt Aaron’s lips push back against him for half a second, and he thought everything was falling back into place again, finally.

That was until he felt the push of Aaron’s palms against his chest, and he felt the force of him pushing Robert backwards until his own back hit the wall behind him.

“Stop it,” Aaron cursed him – eyes fixed on the spot where their bodies pressed up against one another, chest heaving, palms pushing against Robert’s chest; the air between them thick with everything they wanted to say to one another but couldn’t; everything they wanted to _do_ to one another but couldn’t.

Robert felt the want deep in his veins, masked only by the pain of feeling Aaron push him away.

“Look at me,” Robert whispered, his hushed tones barely audible outside of the breath they were sharing between them. “Look at me,” he demanded some more, until he saw Aaron’s eyelashes flicker up and those cool blue eyes meet with his own.

 _God,_ he was so beautiful; it made Robert’s heart stop beating for half a second.

“You want this, just as much as I do. Please don’t say it’s over,” Robert pleaded; that soft voice he only used for Aaron. “Please,” he added as he leant forwards, his lips desperate for that sweetness of Aaron’s kiss again.

He felt those strong palms push against his chest harder.

“This isn’t fair,” Aaron seethed bitterly as he pushed Robert away further, fighting against every single instinct within him; every synapse of his being that begged to give in to Robert and what he was promising him.

“Aaron – ”

“It isn’t _fair_ , Robert,” he interrupted him, stopping him from saying anything that might make him want to drop all of his resolve and let Robert back in.

He knew what he had to do; knew it went against everything his body was begging for.

He pushed a little harder against Robert’s chest, felt the release of his body as Robert stepped backwards with the force of it, hips moving backwards from where they’d been pushed up against Aaron.

“You made your choice,” he added as he pushed again before releasing his grip and freeing himself from Robert’s hold. “You don’t get to do this anymore, Robert. We’re done.”

And with that he turned his back and walked away, leaving Robert stood in the corridor, semi pushing against the inside seam of his jeans as he watched Aaron walk away from him all over again; pain thrumming his veins as fresh as it had been every single time.

 

-s-

 

It took him a few minutes to compose himself, but Robert knew he couldn’t let it drop; couldn’t let this be over between them.

He’d watched Aaron retreat down through the corridor, and he’d flung a palm against the wall in frustration as he’d paced up and down the same spot of the corridor, mind spinning with the thoughts of everything he was trying to fight against.

He knew he needed to follow him.

He didn’t let himself think about anything other than Aaron – didn’t let himself think about Chrissie, or her father sat down the corridor with his career in the palm of his hands – instead he took off down the corridor in the direction Aaron had retreated down minutes earlier, desperate to catch him before he left.

He went to the changing rooms first, finding them deserted as everyone had made their way home, and he headed out to the reception area just in time to see Aaron’s form retreating up the path outside the ground and up to the player’s car park in the distance. The place was eerily quiet, voice echoing as he called out after Aaron and found himself too far away to be heard.

He ran out after him, jogging as much as his old injury would let him, until he found himself at the entrance to the player’s car park, Aaron stood next to his car; theirs the only two on the car park now everyone else seemed to have gone home.

“Aaron!” he called out, finding himself heard this time as he saw Aaron’s head turn in the distance to look over at him, sure he could make out his resentful expression despite the dark of the night surrounding them, the car park dimly lit enough to catch the shadows on his face.

They stood at opposite ends of the car park, eyes fixed on one another until Aaron broke away, slinging the kit bag off his shoulder and into the boot of his car as Robert made his way over to him.

“Please don’t go,” Robert said as he approached him, a pleading to his voice that made Aaron’s defences weaken instantly.

“Leave me alone, Robert,” he muttered back in defiance though.

“I can’t,” was all Robert could offer in response, his shoulders dropping in defeat as he admitted to the only thing he was sure of these days. “I can’t leave you alone, Aaron. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t do _anything_ when I know you’re mad at me. Please, Aaron,”

It seemed to spark something inside of Aaron, and Robert couldn’t even blink before he found himself being grabbed with both of Aaron’s strong, powerful arms, being turned around and shoved up against the side of Aaron’s car, fists bunching up his shirt as he felt the weight of Aaron’s whole body up against his own, and found himself face to face with Aaron’s rage as he stared into Robert’s eyes,.

“How fucking _dare_ you, Robert!” Aaron hissed at him, anger boiling over the brim as all of the pain and emotions from the past couple of weeks got the better of him; rose to the surface and refused to be ignored any longer. “Do you have _any_ idea what the past few weeks have been like for me? Do you? You _walked away._ You walked away from me, Robert! You know what we had, you know what it all meant, and you _still_ walked away. And now, you expect me to just fall back to you again just because you miss it. You’re selfish! And you’re arrogant! You don’t think of anyone but yourself, and you expect to be able to pick me up whenever you have time for me, and I can’t do it anymore, Robert! I can’t do it!”

He shoved against Robert a little further, watching the realisation dawn in Robert’s eyes, flicking from left to right as he listened to every word spilling from Aaron’s lips, his own heart breaking as he let Aaron’s anger ride over him; let the accusations Aaron was making sink in.

“You let me get in this state,” Aaron continued, tears streaming down his cheeks now as he held Robert up against the side of his car. “You made me believe it was all real, when you were just using me all along, weren’t you? Using me to entertain yourself before you run off to your perfect little life with your perfect little wife, and I’m not anywhere in that, am I?”

Robert felt a sudden surge in his chest as he realised what Aaron was saying to him; an anger filling his own veins as he felt the force of it seep out of him, pushing back against Aaron and rolling him around until he had Aaron pinned up against the car himself now, clutching at his biceps as he felt the electricity coursing through his veins.

“It isn’t like that, Aaron!” Robert insisted, and his volume had the intended effect, silencing Aaron as his chest heaved with the intensity of the moment they found themselves in, rising and falling beneath Robert’s touch. “You were meant to be that, yeah, but you’re not, Aaron. You’re so much more than that!”

“Liar,” Aaron muttered up at him through clenched teeth.

“Don’t!” Robert bit back, his hackles raised himself now as he found himself growing in frustration at what Aaron was accusing him of; that he was trying to belittle all of the moments Robert had given to him. “Don’t you make out like I ever let you think this meant nothing to me.”

“It didn’t.”

“It did!” Robert raised his voice again. “It does, Aaron. You mean more to me than you will _ever_ know, and I wish –” his voice faltered, breaking under the threat of the tears that stung his tear ducts as he glanced down, breaking eye contact for a second before finding the strength to look him in the eye again, “ – I _wish_ I could be who you needed me to be, Aaron. You’ll never know how much I wish – ”

He felt the words stolen from him; felt Aaron’s lips crashing against his own; felt the release of the fist that had been pushing against his chest, felt it pulling him towards him now instead.

He pulled away to catch his breath, opened his eyes and locked them onto Aaron’s for a heated second; reading all of his emotions in an instant – the fear, the disbelief, the pure wanton desire for him all over again – and he knew there was no way he could walk away from this man: not in this moment; and not in forever.

He didn’t think about it; couldn’t let himself dwell on what it all meant.

Aaron caved at exactly the same moment, and their lips met again with a hunger they matched in equal measure, Robert’s hands grabbing at Aaron’s face to pull him closer, desperate in his need for him, as Aaron’s hands grabbed at the shoulder of his jacket, shrugging it quickly off his shoulders to make sure Robert knew his intentions.

“Aaron – ”

Robert tried but Aaron cut him off with a kiss, and then he was pushing his hips against Robert’s to push him away from the car for just a second – long enough to reach behind himself and open the door – and then Aaron was pulling him towards him again, breaking away from the kiss as he settled onto the back seat of his car as he looked up at Robert with only one explanation in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Robert asked, Aaron’s words from earlier stinging his excitement at what Aaron was begging from him.

“Shut up and fuck me before I change my mind,” Aaron insisted as he leant up and hooked a hand around the back of Robert’s neck; drunk on lust and desire for this man that stood before him; the one who’d occupied every single one of his dreams since he first put his hands on him all those months ago.

Robert didn’t need telling twice, letting his jacket fall to the gravel at his feet as he urged forwards, letting Aaron take a hold of his belt buckle and undo his jeans with fraught hands as he dipped his head inside the car and caught Aaron’s lips in a searing kiss.

He could taste the salt of Aaron’s tears on his tongue as he ran it along Aaron’s bottom lip and pushed inside, Aaron’s mouth going slack beneath him as he climbed up onto the back seat of the car, on all fours as Aaron wriggled backwards, making room for him as they battled to keep their lips connected to one another.

Aaron pushed his hands inside Robert’s unbuckled jeans – cold at first, making Robert hiss out with the sensation of it – but he’d soon forgotten anything other than blinding lust as Aaron wrapped his fingers around his length as it thickened up in his hand, Aaron groaning out involuntarily at the feeling of it; Robert leaning down to take his lips in his own, swallowing the sound of Aaron’s pleasure as it filled the confines of the car they were struggling to move around in.

It was awkward – elbows everywhere, Robert’s head banging against the roof of the car, aware of his feet still hanging out of the door that remained open behind him – but they couldn’t find it in themselves to barely notice, let alone care. Robert steadied himself with one hand on the headrest of the front seats and the other up against the window behind Aaron’s head, steaming up now as their heated breath met the cool glass of the window.

Aaron got his free hand hooked into the belt of Robert’s trousers, pulling them down to bare his arse as he groaned at the sight of Robert’s thick length, using his other hand to strip away at his dick with an urgency that they both knew was needed; for their own sakes as much as for the surroundings they found themselves in.

Robert flung his head back at the sensation of Aaron’s hands on him, wincing as his head hit the roof of the car again, dragging a laugh from Aaron as he hissed through the pain; Robert offering a sly smile in return as he narrowed his eyes, leaning down suddenly to pull the hem of Aaron’s t-shirt up until it bunched in the dip of his collarbone, before leaning down and dragging his wet tongue up the length of Aaron’s torso.

It silenced his laughter immediately, replaced then with a kind of guttural groan that made Robert wonder if he were the only one capable of summoning it; deepening it further as Robert nipped his teeth at Aaron’s nipple, making his head fling back with the depth of the sensation it pulled from him.

Aaron’s hand was slacking around his dick as he got lost in the sensation of Robert’s tongue and teeth discovering his body again, and Robert took the chance to shuffle backwards on his knees either side of Aaron’s legs, thick dick dropping from Aaron’s grip as he sat back, pulling down the hem of Aaron’s tracksuit bottoms and boxers in one go, feeling the knock of Aaron’s knees against the back of his arse as he shuffled himself out of his clothes, hearing them drop against the gravel outside of the car door as Robert sat back a little and let himself take in the sight of Aaron stretched out before him, naked save for the t-shirt bunched up around his neck still as he lay down across the back seats of his car.

Robert licked at his bottom lip, watching Aaron smile up at him as he did it; he knew he’d never seen anything so beautiful as Aaron in this state in all his life.

Nothing compared to this sight.

Aaron leant up, hooking a spare hand around Robert’s neck again as he pulled him into another kiss, his other hand reaching forwards to wrap around Robert’s dick again before Robert shuffled around some more, moving his knees in between Aaron’s legs to let him spread himself open, ready for what he knew Robert was about to give him.

Robert felt the pulse run deep through him, pulled from the kiss to glance down Aaron’s body, eyes on his full dick resting against his stomach, leaking for him as he heard Aaron’s ragged breath as his hands worked at him.

“Come on, Robert,” Aaron begged, and Robert knew exactly what it meant; knew this wasn’t a time to drag it out; knew this needed to be quick because _fuck_ they’d both missed it.

He smirked, pulling his hand back to rummage for his wallet in the pocket of his jeans that rested slack by his knees, picking out the condom and sachet of lube and letting his wallet drop to the floor as he flung the condom onto Aaron’s stomach. He tore open the sachet of lube and pushed a sizeable drop onto his fingers, coating them before trailing a hand down Aaron’s torso, up and over the tip of his dick and along his length, the feel of it making Aaron’s hips buck up slightly, then arch his back as he keened for Robert’s touch. He let his hand trail down this throbbing length, over Aaron’s balls until he circled around the rim of his puckered hole.

“Just do it, fuck Robert,” Aaron begged.

Robert wasn’t one to be told twice.

He worked a finger inside, Aaron writhing and bucking his hips as he breached past the muscle, and Robert pulled it in and out with a steady rhythm at first as he felt Aaron adjusting to him; slipping in a second as soon as he knew Aaron was ready for him, scissoring him open until he could slide a third finger inside of him, Aaron pushing down against his fingers in desperation for him; hands up around to cover his face now as he flung his head back and fucked himself down on Robert’s fingers. Robert curled a hand around Aaron’s dick, spurred on by the sounds of desperation falling from Aaron’s lips as he started to work his dick in time with his fingers fucking into him, ignoring the lack of space and the way his elbows banged against the seat in front with every upwards tug.

“Robert, please,” Aaron begged him some more, and Robert leant up and kissed him, pulling his fingers free of him as he leant up and pulled Aaron’s hands away from his face; wanted to see that look in his eyes as he picked up the condom; had always loved to see that darkening in his eyes in anticipation of it.

He got what he wanted; Aaron’s expression everything his dreams had tortured him with over the past couple of weeks.

He had no patience left within him.

He ripped open the condom and rolled it on, using the lube left in the sachet to coat his dick, then he positioned himself despite the awkwardness of the back seat of Aaron’s car.

The sound falling from Aaron’s lips as he entered him had him close to spilling immediately, but he managed to contain himself as he settled into it; pushing in further with every thrust until he was bottomed out inside him, sweat slicked thighs battling for space as he let his hips buck forward, Aaron’s body shuffling up the car seats with every thrust; his lips letting out an expletive with each drag of Robert’s dick against that sweet spot right where he’d been missing him.

Robert leant between them to take Aaron’s dick in his hand, continuing his assault on Aaron’s senses, leaning down to take his lips in a kiss when he heard the crack of Aaron’s head against the plastic of the car door, and then again as he thrust his hips up again and the momentum of it pushed Aaron up against the car door.

He paused for a second, locked eyes with Aaron until they both started to laugh with one another.

“I’ve had comfier shags,” Aaron whispered into the space between them, smile filling the bottom half of his face.

“Hurry up and come, then,” Robert smirked back. “My knees are killing me.”

Aaron bit at his bottom lip to stop his laugh erupting, and he couldn’t help but notice the way that Robert’s eyes darkened at the sight of it, and within seconds he had Robert fucking into him relentlessly, a renewed vigour like he needed this release more than he’d ever needed it before.

Aaron came first – the sensation of Robert’s cock against his prostate hitting just like he needed it to as Robert stripped at his cock, and he came over his stomach in waves; calling out Robert’s name with a desperation that echoed around Robert’s mind for hours afterwards. Robert followed seconds later as he called out Aaron’s name over and over, as if he was trying to stop himself from saying something else altogether, before he collapsed down onto Aaron’s body, a heavy weight against his heart as he reminded himself that this wasn’t the life he’d mapped out for himself; and this wasn’t the person he was devoting his life to in a matter of weeks.

However much it was starting to feel like it really should be.

It was moments later when Aaron dared say it – after they’d let their breathing return to normal, and after Robert had pulled himself out of Aaron and tied up the condom, flinging it outside onto the car park floor, and after Robert had pulled himself back into his jeans and buckled back up, -  when they were sat side by side in the back seats of Aaron’s car, Aaron still naked from the waist down as they each stared into the night’s sky through the sun roof of Aaron’s car.

It punctured the air like a knife.

“This can’t happen again.”

He couldn’t look at Robert as he said it; couldn’t bear to see the look in his eyes as he shattered the hopes he knew their back seat shenanigans had given him.

“What?” was all Robert offered in return.

“You know it can’t, Robert,” he re-affirmed, resolute in the knowledge that he’d wanted it, but that he couldn’t put himself through believing all that he wanted to think Robert could give him, only to have to watch him marry someone else in a month’s time.

“Aaron, you can’t,” Robert stuttered, turning his whole body to face Aaron in the back seat of the car, leaning up and taking Aaron’s face in his hands, urging him to look him in the eye. “After that? After everything? I can’t live without you, Aaron.”

Aaron sighed; replicated those feelings exactly, but knew that half of Robert was never going to be enough for him.

“You can’t be who I need you to be,” Aaron replied, looking Robert in the eye as his own filled with tears. “I can’t share you. I need all of you, and if I can’t have that, I need to not have anything at all.”

Robert opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out; no words in response to what he knew was the truth – that he couldn’t be the man Aaron needed him to be; couldn’t show the world who he really was.

His own fears wouldn’t let him be the man that Aaron deserved to be with.

He knew it, and the realisation of it broke his own heart in the process.

“You need to go,” Aaron whispered, his voice breaking to betray the state of his heart.

“Aaron, let me try, please. I lo – ”

“Don’t,” Aaron interrupted him, finger pressed against his lips. “Don’t say it, Robert. It’ll only make this harder.”

Robert watched the single tear tracking down Aaron’s face, and he knew he wanted to fight more than anything to never be the one to make those tears fall.

But he knew himself, too; he knew what he was capable of.

He wasn’t strong enough to stand beside Aaron and tell the world who he was – the memory of his father’s words imprinted into every one of his desires – and the thought of disappointing the one man he’d spent his entire life trying to emulate made his blood run cold; fear rendering him incapable like paralysis.

He knew Aaron was right.

He couldn’t stand beside Aaron and tell the world who he was.

So he sat back; he let the pain of what was happening wash over him as he leant back in the car seat, Aaron mirroring him beside him, and he realised that this – in a darkened car park away and hidden away from the rest of the world – was all that he could offer this brilliant man sat beside him.

And he deserved so much more than that.

So he let his heart break inside of him as he let his upturned palm roll into the space between them, looking across at Aaron and offering him a smile filled with sorrow and regret, as Aaron let his own hand drop to his side, resting on top of Robert’s, linking their fingers together as they held onto one another for one last time.

They stayed like that in silence until the lights switched off on the car park; until they both knew they had to go home; go back to the life neither of them had any interest in if the other wasn’t there beside them.

Robert leant over, looking into Aaron’s eyes before kissing him, like it was the last thing on earth he was ever going to do.

And then he pulled away, and he got out of the car, and he shut the door behind him without saying a word, and he walked across the car park and got into his own car, and he pulled off the car park without letting himself glance at Aaron in the rear view mirror.

Robert wasn’t usually a crying man, but his drive home that night taught him all sorts of things about himself that he’d never known before – his ability to shed tears just one of them.

 

 

-s-

 

 

 

 

 

They won the next game; the last one of the season.

Aaron scored twice, and it secured their place in Europe for the next year, even if the title had gone to one of the London clubs that they’d beaten twice over the course of the season.

The other results had gone their way, and they’d actually finished third – joint on points with second, lagging behind on goal difference – and Robert ended up being congratulated on a job well done, even if he hadn’t quite managed to pull off the debut season to end all debuts like he’d been on course to do at one point during the year.

So it turned out that the end of season dinner and awards was a cause for celebration after all, even if it hadn’t seemed like it would be a couple of weeks beforehand, and the team turned out for the one occasion a year when they were allowed to enjoy a drink on a public stage with no football to occupy them for a couple of months until the season restarted.

Aaron always dreaded it, hated the idea of forced fun, and even less so when it was accompanied with the knowledge that Robert was going to be there with Chrissie.

They’d spoken a few times since the car park – had found a new understanding between them, and neither of them were even slightly inclined to try and hide their devastation from one another – but they’d found a way to be almost _friendly_ with one another again as far as training was concerned, and they’d both been aware of the looks they’d shared when they thought they were alone together; the way Robert would run his hand down the back of Aaron’s spine as he walked off the pitch at the end of training; the way it ignited something in Aaron that he knew was never going to be put out completely.

They’d been all heated eye contact across the changing rooms for that last week of training, and the week since then they’d tried to keep from contacting one another, both of them so aware of what was to come in the upcoming weeks – starting with the awards ceremony – and how difficult it was all going to be for Aaron to get through.

Aaron had woken to a string of texts from Robert the morning of the awards – the time check telling him they were sent between midnight and 1am, and he knew whiskey had been the one to blame.

They’d started with _I miss you._

Escalated up through _I can’t do this anymore,_ and _I know you still want me._

Finished off with _Please just tell me it’s not over for good. I need you._

Aaron ignored them all, left them unanswered because he couldn’t bear to face what his response would be – not when he was aching for Robert with every ounce of blood in his veins, and especially not when it was three weeks until that same man was getting married, the invite hanging from a magnet on his fridge door as a constant reminder.

Adam had tried to shove it in a drawer when it had arrived a few weeks earlier; Aaron stopping him and insisting he hang it in full view instead – a constant reminder why he was having to deny himself what he longed for with every fibre of his being.

Adam had found him staring at it earlier that evening, though – after he’d showered and changed into the suit he’d picked out for the awards evening, a navy blue he’d been sent by Hugo Boss earlier in the season, wearing it with a pale blue shirt and navy tie, not even himself oblivious to the way the colours made the blue of his eyes pop.

He ignored the voice in the back of his head telling him he hoped that Robert would notice, too.

“You gonna be okay with this?” Adam asked him, both of them aware that he was referring to the evening they were about to spend with the man Aaron was in love with and his doting and extremely tactile fiancée.

“Yeah, course,” Aaron shrugged, feigning indifference.

“Mate, come on,” Adam pleaded as he handed Aaron a can of lager out of the fridge, checking they had time before the car came to pick them up. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I know you’re over but it doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy.”

Aaron cracked open the can and hoisted himself up onto one of the bar stools, rolling his eyes as he realised he wasn’t going to be able to avoid Adam’s concerns.

“Fine. It’s probably gonna be shit but what can I do?” Aaron muttered, before taking a gulp from his can. “If I don’t go, Lawrence will kick off.”

“Can’t have all those awards going uncollected, eh?” Adam teased.

“Piss off,” Aaron smirked back, rolling his eyes and dipping his head as Adam tried to pull him into a friendly headlock. “You’re only bitter ‘cause I always win ‘em over you,” he added playfully.

Adam recoiled in mock offense, slapping Aaron playfully on the arm.

“This year is my year, I’m telling ya!” he laughed, aware that he’d already voted for his best mate as Player’s Player of the Season, and that he wanted him to win above anyone else in the team.

“Maybe if you scored more,” Aaron teased him, eyes wide with mischief as Adam stared back at him, open mouthed in mock offence.

“Look, Robert’s had you off your game this year, I’ve got a better chance than ever!” Adam laughed, but he groaned and rolled his neck, dropping his smile as soon as he realised the mention of Robert had wiped the smile from his best mate’s face. “Look, mate, I’m sorry – ”

“Not like you’re wrong, though,” Aaron conceded with a shrug.

“You’re better off without him,” Adam tried to comfort him, but he found Aaron shaking his head in return.

“No, I’m not,” he replied defeatedly, biting at his gums to stop the tears from forming. “I’m better off _with him,_ when he’s just there for me. But he isn’t offering that, is he? So I’m stuck like this, aren’t I? In love with a man who’s marrying someone else next month.”

“Mate, I’m sorry,” Adam attempted to offer him some kind of consolation, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, but the moment was soon interrupted by the horn of the car outside, and Aaron slugged down the rest of his can, slamming it back down on the worktop once he’d emptied it.

“Time to face the music,” Aaron announced with an air of trepidation, before turning to make his way out to the car, Adam locking up behind him.

They spent the car journey trying to avoid the conversation they’d had in the kitchen moments earlier – Adam treading carefully around even mentioning his blossoming romance with Vic for fear it would remind Aaron of the man he was trying to forget – not that he wasn’t aware that Robert was a constant presence in every single one of Aaron’s thoughts anyway.

Aaron’s phone buzzed halfway through the journey, Aaron sighing as he read the text.

**_Robert:_ ** _Sorry, she’s coming tonight. I tried to put her off. X_

He appreciated being warned in advance; knew that Robert was aware of the way that her presence there with him was going to be hard for Aaron. He thought about sending a snarky reply about not caring either way, but they were past that now – they both knew what was happening, and they both knew why it had had to end, so he replied in as understanding a tone as he could muster.

**_Aaron:_ ** _It’s fine, I expected her to be there. Thanks for the warning though. X_

He did appreciate the heads up, and he steeled himself for the sight of the two of them as the car rounded the corner and made its way into the entrance of the hotel.

Robert was already there when Aaron and Adam arrived, stood just inside the lobby of the lavish city centre hotel where the awards evening was being held. He was side by side with Lawrence, Chrissie draped off his arm as they welcomed all of the players and corporate guests to the exclusive event. He looked good – and he knew it – wearing a perfectly tailored maroon suit with a crisp white shirt underneath, the lines cut in all of the right places to show off the thickness of his thighs and the broadness of his shoulders.

Robert caught Aaron’s eye as soon as he walked through the heavy glass double doors; breath hitching in his throat as he let himself look at him, let his eyes track down the length of Aaron’s body in the suit he was wearing, and he felt a shiver run down his spine at the sight of it.

He looked so good.

He always looked good, but in a suit?

Aaron was a sight to behold.

It seemed to fit him perfectly; shirt stretched over the expanse of his chest as the material of the suit jacket hugged at his biceps; the colour making his eyes seem a deeper blue than he’d ever seen them, noticeable even across the expanse of the hotel lobby.

He looked _beautiful._

There wasn’t another word to describe him; and he wanted to tear every inch of that suit from his body and indulge himself in what only Aaron could give him; drown in what only Aaron could make him feel.

His heart had picked up its pace inside of his ribcage, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat as he held Aaron’s gaze, drowning in the intensity of the hold they had over one another; watching him move through the crowd and towards where Robert was standing with Lawrence and Chrissie.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away the entire time – Aaron not inclined to do so either – and even as Chrissie leant up and whispered something in his ear, hand hooked around the crook of his elbow, he couldn’t focus on the sound of her voice; not when the only person in the room for him was approaching the two of them, eyes shifting to the side as he found the strength to break their connection when he stood before him.

“Hi,” Aaron offered, offering the smallest of smiles that only Robert knew the full meaning of.

“Hi,” Robert replied softly, until he realised his surroundings and coughed away the softness of his tone, outstretching a hand for Aaron to shake awkwardly. “Well done on the season,” he added formally, as he’d said to all of the players as they’d arrived over the course of the previous half hour.

“Thanks,” Aaron nodded with a knowing smirk, turning to offer Chrissie as small, guilt-ridden smile as Adam received his identical platitudes from the boss.

Chrissie smiled at him like she was supposed to do – all warmth and social etiquette – and before Aaron could walk away from it he found her hands wrapped warmly around his arms as she drew him into a welcoming embrace, pushing her cheek up against his and air kissing the space either side of his face.

“You look great, Aaron,” she beamed, taking a step back and holding both his arms, smile draped over her features. “You should wear a suit more often, you don’t scrub up too badly, does he?” she nudged Robert to her side.

Aaron tracked the rise and fall of Robert’s chest as he took in a deep breath before answering.

“Not bad at all,” Robert purred, tone dripping in want that he had no power to control, eyes still locked onto Aaron’s before he coughed to mask the softness in his tone and tried to regain his usual composure, breaking away his gaze in an attempt to steel himself.

Aaron bit down on his bottom lip, offering an insincere smile and a meek thank you in return for Chrissie’s compliments, and he moved to the side to pass them and make his way into the main hall of the event before he allowed himself to think too deeply about the way that Robert had been looking at him, glancing back behind him once he was inside the room, catching Robert’s eye again as his manager had turned to watch Aaron retreat into the function room, eyes indulging in the sight of Aaron’s perfect arse in those suit trousers as he walked away.

Aaron couldn’t help the smile that took a hold of him, firing a wink back at Robert before he moved along to take his place for the evening, chest full to bursting with the depth of his feelings for this man that would never be his.

Most of the evening passed by in a blur – the programme for the evening entailing the players being spread out amongst the tables paid for by the corporate sponsors, a part of their package including an evening sat with some of the best players the Premier League had to offer, and Aaron found himself lumped with Pete Barton alongside the CEO and management team from some security firm that had probably shelled out most of their yearly profits for the opportunity to sit at a table with the pair of them. He smiled and agreed to their selfies, and he answered all of their usual run of the mill questions about his favourite goals and his toughest opponents. He found himself up on the stage on three occasions – winning Top Goal Scorer, which of course he’d been aware of; but also picking up Player’s Player of the Season and Fan’s Player of the Season – and he couldn’t deny the level of pride that settled in his chest at the latter, not that he hadn’t won it for the previous three seasons, but that the fans were still voting for him after coming out at the beginning of the season. It allowed him to feel a kind of acceptance he’d once thought he could only dream of, and a sense of satisfaction welled up inside of him as he went up to accept the award.

He caught sight of Robert as he stood up on the stage to give his speech – purposely holding his gaze as he gave his acceptance speech where he hinted at how difficult it had been to come out, but that he’d never felt more accepted and able to be himself – and Robert averted his gaze, precisely aware what Aaron’s intentions were.

They avoided one another for the most of the night – Robert tied up on Chrissie’s arm on a set table of their own – and Aaron with his back to Robert’s table throughout the three course dinner they enjoyed which prevented him from having to watch the two of them together all night, at least.

When the food was finished and the DJ started, the guests moved up to hang around the bar, and the seating plan found itself getting ignored as the night drew on, Aaron finding reason to make his way over a table near the dancefloor where most of the other players were now sitting, having all left their stations with the corporate sponsors they’d been allocated for the night.

He found a seat between Pete and Ross, who seemed to be laughing together in excitement that made Aaron almost want to avoid them completely.

“You’re coming, aren’t you, Dingle?” Ross asked him as he sat down, taking a swig from his pint.

“Coming where?” he asked casually.

“The stag do!” Pete enthused from next to him, accompanied with a friendly slap on the back. “Marbella, ain’t it. Gonne be mega. Can’t believe it’s two days away already.”

Aaron felt the colour run from his face, the reminder of Robert’s impending nuptials causing all sorts of pain to resurface inside of his chest cavity. He caught Adam’s eye from across the table, a knowing look shared between the two of them as Adam gave him a little nod to check that he was okay.

He shrugged off the concern, before sighing and giving Pete his answer.

“Not sure mate,” he answered. “Not really my thing is it, Marbella?”

He scrunched up his face as he said it, clear disapproval for the location of the stag do, and he hoped that would be the last of it, but he didn’t find himself so lucky.

“Mate, you’ve gotta come!” Pete insisted. “Robert’s paying for all of it and it’ll be our one chance to have a blow out and get some incriminating pictures of the boss to use against him all next season,” he smirked, Ross nodding along with him.

“Yeah and I’m pretty sure he’s already paid for your flights, mate,” Ross added.

“Not like he’s short of money though,” Adam intervened, already aware that Aaron would rather do anything but spend a weekend being reminded that Robert was getting married in a matter of weeks.

“True, but it’s still nice to take a freebie from him,” Pete responded. “And besides, everyone else is going, you don’t want the press thinking we left you out, do ya?”

“And you need to be there unless I get called out for being miserable,” Ross added with a smirk as he punched at Aaron’s arm, Aaron frowning and pulling away from him, unimpressed. “If you’re there you get that title and I can just get on with being slightly less miserable than you but doing it in peace.”

Pete laughed in response to his brother, but Aaron curled his top lip in the Barton brother’s direction, not enjoying being rinsed like this by his teammates.

“Let him stay here, if he wants to,” Adam chipped in, defending Aaron as he knew the precise reasons for his hesitance over joining them. “He doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to. Besides, I might not go, either,” he added, swearing to show support for his best mate.

The suggestion that both Adam and Aaron might not come had the table up in arms, each of the teammates trying their best to convince the both of them to come along, but Aaron knew it wasn’t something he really had the ability to handle.

He got up after a while, fed up of being railroaded into attending the stag do of the man he wanted only for himself, announcing that he was getting some air as he made his way out of the room. Adam caught his eye as he left, checking Aaron was okay and moving to follow him out of the room until Vic came along and slid a hand around his waist, pulling Adam towards he dancefloor; him firing an apologetic shrug towards Aaron as he moved away from him, Aaron offering a gentle laugh in return.

He weaved around the tables in the function room, making his way to the exit as he avoided the part of the room where he knew Robert had been all night, unsure if he was scared of meeting his eye and sharing another all-knowing glance of devastation between them, or scared of seeing Chrissie draped all over him, or both.

He took a breath as he finally made it outside of the function room, leaning back against the wall and letting his head thud against it gently as he heard the dimmed sound of the music playing in the room behind him. He was in the lobby of the hotel – quiet now, save for a group making their way through the reception area – and it was only once they’d disappeared off to the lift on his left that he heard the door bristle open to the left of him, and he turned to see Robert appear beside him.

Robert expression softened as soon as he turned to see Aaron standing there – had looked agitated as he’d left the room, as if he was worried that Aaron had left already – and his relief was evident when he found himself able to stand in front of Aaron now, the two of them alone for the first time all night.

“You okay?” Robert asked; the question loaded with so much more than the usual greeting.

Aaron offered a small, strained smile as he nodded.

“You?” he asked in return.

He wasn’t expecting Robert to crowd him against the wall then; wasn’t expecting the darkening of Robert’s eyes as he held his gaze, pushing his body up against Aaron’s in this most public of places; and he wasn’t expecting the promise in Robert’s voice as he answered him, either.

“I’d be better if I could get you on your own somewhere,” he purred, eyes letting Aaron know every single one of his intentions. “You look so fucking good, Aaron.”

They’d done so well at keeping to their promise – staying apart from one another in the two weeks since Robert had fucked him senseless on the back seat of his car – but it was if in that moment they shared an understanding between them; an undercurrent of knowledge that this wasn’t going to be a pretence either of them were going to be able to keep up.

Aaron felt his heart speed up in his chest, felt the pull of Robert’s body towards him, and he didn’t know if it was the alcohol clouding his judgement, or the intoxication of finding himself in Robert’s orbit once more, but he felt all of his resolve slipping away as one single thought spun around inside of his head, drowning out the sound of his good intentions and his rational decision making.

He wanted Robert.

He _really_ wanted him.

More than that though – he _needed_ him; he needed to feel the softness of his fingertips touching his skin again; needing to feel the heat of his breath against the back of his neck again; needed to know that Robert could still make him come apart at the seams like he always had done before; that every memory that had filled up his head whenever he’d found himself alone over the past two weeks didn’t have to just exist in that form – that his memories could come to life for him all over again.

He _missed_ him.

His need for the man stood before him overpowered everything else – the knowledge that they could never be what Aaron wanted them to be; the memories of the way his heart broke with every suggestion of Robert marrying Chrissie in a matter of weeks; the reminder of how hard it was going to be to have to walk away from Robert again once it was all over again.

None of that meant anything in that moment.

None of it had a chance against the indescribable want that was coursing through Aaron’s veins with Robert stood this close to him; with Robert focusing every single bit of his attention span on Aaron, and only Aaron.

“Take me somewhere,” Aaron whispered into the space between them, his heart leaping into this throat as he realised what he was asking of Robert; what he was allowing him to do to all of his resolve when the very reason for his abstinence was sat the other side of the doors to their left.

“Follow me,” Robert replied, swallowing down as he glanced left then right, finding a corridor to their left and making his way towards it.

Aaron didn’t need to be asked twice, shaking off the voice in the back of his head telling him this was a bad idea as he did as Robert asked, the anticipation of what they both knew was about to happen thick in the air between them.

Robert paced down the maze of corridors – Aaron’s eyes trained on how good his arse looked in his tight-fitting suit trousers – and he made his way towards the back of the hotel, the place deserted as they found themselves heading towards the staff quarters, the flicker of the motion-detecting lighting coming on as they turned each corner letting them know they were the only ones around; the only ones to grace these corridors.

Robert found a small recess in one of the corridors, and he knew it was nowhere near private enough, but he could feel his erection pushing against the inside seam of his suit trousers, and he knew they didn’t have long before Chrissie would wonder where he was, so he stopped and pulled Aaron into the recess with him, crowding him up against the wall as he wasted no time in kissing him for all he was worth, tongues sliding alongside each other’s as they found themselves home again; savouring one another as they both knew that every time could be the last time for them, now.

The sounds leaving Aaron’s lips were the unholiest Robert had ever heard from him, and he had no time for the usual teasing; he had to have him.

“I wanna fuck you right here,” Robert breathed out as he pulled away from the kiss, holding Aaron’s face in his hands and resting his forehead against his own as they held one another’s gaze.

Aaron looked fucked out already – pupils dilated and lips a bitten mess from the assault of Robert’s tongue on him.

“What you waiting for?” Aaron replied, his voice low and suggestive, and it made every one of Robert’s nerves spark into life.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Robert purred as his chest rose and fell, battling to fill his lungs as Aaron stole the air from them with another searing kiss in reply.

His hands made light work of the buckle of Aaron’s belt, pulling his hips back to let Aaron do the same as he kissed him; hands shaking as the desire coursed through them both.

Aaron pulled away to look Robert in the eye.

“Have you got anything?” he asked, laced with desperation and a hint of panic that the answer might not be what he needed.

“In my wallet,” Robert answered immediately, aware he’d restocked straight after their night in the car, knowing if he was going to be lucky enough to have Aaron again that it might be in these circumstances; that he wasn’t going to let himself be unprepared.

Aaron smirked as his hand went straight up to Robert’s inside jacket pocket, pulling out his wallet and finding the condom and lube in there easily.

He pushed down the question that flitted through his mind, wondering whether Chrissie ever found his supplies and questioned their purpose.

The though dissipated as soon as Robert pulled his lips away, strong arms against Aaron’s elbows suddenly as he flipped Aaron round and pushed his chest up against the wall, Aaron automatically pushing his arse out as Robert pulled his trousers down over his hips and smacked his bare arse.

Aaron groaned, mouth slack as he closed his eyes, Robert’s hand squeezing at the muscle of his arse cheeks as he moved forwards, crowding into Aaron’s body and licking a strip up from his shirt collar to the sensitive spot behind his ear.

Aaron didn’t have chance to enjoy the shiver down his spine from the sensation of Robert’s lips against his neck as he found Robert’s forefingers thrust inside his mouth, Robert’s eyes darkened as he looked back at him, reading the intention immediately as he let his tongue roll over Robert’s fingers, slicking them up with his mouth, blinking suggestively as Robert watched the obscenity of his lips moving over the knuckle joints of Robert’s fingers as he pulsed them in and out of his mouth.

“You’re too fucking much, Aaron,” Robert groaned, the swell of his erection pushing up against Aaron’s arse now, throbbing with the sight of what Aaron was doing to his fingers; Aaron moaning as Robert pulled them away, lips wet with the spit Robert was about to use to help slide his fingers inside his hole one by one, preparing him quickly as Robert leant up and sucked at Aaron’s bottom lip.

Aaron whimpered beneath his touch, and Robert prepared him quickly, fingering him open until he had Aaron begging him for it.

He pulled his fingers out, quickly rolling on the condom as he heard Aaron pleading with him for what he was about to get, arse jutting out further as his hands tugged at his own dick in front of him, and Robert couldn’t move his hands fast enough as he coated his dick in lube hurriedly and kissed at the back of Aaron’s neck once more, before lining himself up and sinking himself home.

Aaron let out a groan of pure ecstasy as he felt himself filling up with the familiar length of Robert’s dick, stilling his own movements against himself as he pushed back with his hips, desperate for all that Robert had to give him; shameless in his need for Robert to take him apart.

Robert thrust in and out slowly, letting his hips hold his position as he wrapped his left hand around Aaron’s hip bone, meeting with Aaron’s left hand as they both tugged at Aaron’s dick; their right hands finding one another as they pressed against the wall in front of them, fingers interlocking like they were in some kind of romance novel.

“Harder,” Aaron begged, wanton and desperate for all that Robert had to give him, stood in this hotel corridor, fully clothed and stripped bare to the soul.

He obliged accordingly, fucking into Aaron hard with every thrust, stripping his dick at a similar speed; biting his teeth down into the neck of the shirt collar and jacket that Aaron was still wearing as he fucked him, in an effort to stop himself from calling out Aaron’s name at the top of his voice in this deserted corridor.

It didn’t take long – the mixture of their unquestionable need for one another mixed in with the illicitness of their meeting, with Robert’s fiancée sat in a room down the hall and the rest of Aaron’s teammates propping up the bar alongside her, music from their function room still slightly audible on the other side of the wall Robert was fucking Aaron up against.

Aaron pulled their interlocked hands towards his mouth, teeth sinking into Robert’s index finger to silence himself as his orgasm ripped through him, come spurting up the floral print of the expensive looking wallpaper; the sight of it making them both laugh darkly to one another; the sight of Aaron’s fucked out smile causing Robert to fuck into him with an added longing to sate his desire for this man – this _beautiful_ man stood before him – and he came himself seconds later, bottoming out as he let Aaron moan through the feel of his throbbing cock deep inside of him.

Robert rested his forehead in the dip between Aaron’s shoulder blades; both of their hands grasping onto one another as Aaron leant his head up against the wall; chests heaving as they regained their composure from what they’d just let happen; dawning realisation that they’d risked everything again, and done so somewhere so public.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Robert let out on an exhale, leaning up and kissing the soft skin at the back of Aaron’s neck.

Aaron rolled his head back and to the side, encouraging Robert’s lips to move around to peck at the spot below his ear, moving along his jawline until he had Aaron’s lips against his own and they kissed filthily for a second; tongues tracing patterns along one another’s lips as Robert’s dick stayed nestled inside of Aaron.

Robert pulled away after a second, his breathing composed again as he pulled his hips backwards, pulling himself free from the grip of Aaron’s hole; rolling off the condom and tying a knot in it before looking around sheepishly to find somewhere to discard it; Aaron laughing as he came up short.

“There’s bogs on the way back, I remember passing them,” Aaron assured him as he turned to lean back against the wall, hoisting up his boxers and suit trousers and zipping them back up. “Put it in here for now,” he added as he pulled a tissue out of his jacket pocket.

Robert wrapped up the evidence before he followed suit, tucking himself away and zipping up his trousers, straightening himself up to make himself presentable again.

He looked up at Aaron, smiling as he leant forwards to claim another kiss from him, Aaron almost hesitant in allowing him to press his lips against his own.

“What are we gonna do?” Robert asked as he pulled his lips away, body pressure up against Aaron’s as they stood in the deserted corridor still. “We’re not doing too good at staying away from one another.”

Aaron sighed, breaking the eye contact to look up at the ceiling, letting his head knock against the wall behind him before looking back at Robert again; all of his resolve weakened by the look of pure desire that he was met with.

“It’s your stag do in two days,” Aaron answered.

Robert shrugged, as if the enormity of that statement was completely lost on him.

“Which means a hotel for two nights – ”

“Which means a wedding, Robert,” Aaron interrupted him, voice raised somewhat, unintentionally. “Which means you’re marrying someone,” he continued in more hushed tones. “You’re making promises to spend a life with her and to stay faithful to her, and what happens to me, then? I can’t be your _mistress,_ Robert,” he hissed the word like it was poison. “You can’t ask me to live like that.”

“You’re not my mistress, Aaron – ”

“Then what am I?” Aaron stopped him, needed to make himself heard. “I’m not the person you’re marrying, and yet I’m the person you can’t stop _fucking_ in secret. Sounds quite a lot like it to me.”

Robert dropped his shoulders, realising only then that Aaron had a point, even if he was so much more than just a bit on the side to him.

“I wish things were different,” he admitted as he stepped back, aware that Aaron looked like he needed space from him; needed to not have this conversation whilst Robert’s body was pressed flush up against his own.

“I know you do,” Aaron admitted quietly, and it was true. He knew if Robert wasn’t so scared of admitting who he was, and if Chrissie and Lawrence didn’t hold his reputation in the palm of their hands, that they’d most likely be together now, with nothing standing in their way.

But things _weren’t_ different.

Things were exactly as they were.

And Aaron didn’t have a clue where he stood because of it.

“Come to Marbella,” Robert pleaded with him softly; the tone of his voice making Aaron lose all of his resolve in an instant. “Please, Aaron. I want you there. With me.”

“Do you even realise what you’re asking, Robert? Do you realise what you’re saying?”

“Yes!” Robert affirmed, taking Aaron somewhat by surprise. “I know, and I hate how much this hurts you Aaron, I do. But I want you there, with me. Say you’ll come?”

Aaron clenched his jaw, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to deny that the thought of spending two whole days with Robert in a different country was sending his heart racing somewhat with excitement.

“And people will ask questions if you’re not there, Aaron,” Robert added.

Aaron rolled his neck and sighed.

“There you go again,” he muttered, shaking his head. “It’s always about appearances with you, isn’t it? Always about what it looks like, about what other people think?”

Robert didn’t answer; didn’t try to deny it.

“We should get back,” Aaron broke the stunted silence between them, pushing himself away from the wall and looking Robert in the eye as he added, “you fiancée is probably wondering where you are.”

Robert’s head dropped as the wave of shame rolled over him, and Aaron shook his head as he walked away, leaving him standing in the corridor as he made his way back to the function room; deflecting questions from his teammates about where he’d been hiding. He spent the rest of the evening drinking to block out the utter confusion he felt about what he was doing with Robert; all the while avoiding those blue-grey eyes of Robert’s watching him from the other side of the room for the duration of the evening, and the ache rolling through his body as it recovered from what Robert had done to him up against that wall.

 

 

 

 

 

-s-

 

 

Against all of his better judgement, Aaron found himself boarding the plane for the stag do two days later.

He’d deliberated about whether it was a good idea or not, but he’d let Adam talk him round and packed a bag last minute, aware of the smile Robert was trying to hide from him as he turned up at the airport, bags in hand.

There was an undeniable sense of anticipation between them.

They were in some kind of no-man’s-land though – halfway between knowing they were bad for one another and that it was going to end in tears, but equally aware that resistance was futile and that they were powerless whenever this thing between the two of them took hold.

Aaron knew that fighting against it was exhausting him; but dealing with the constant dread in his heart was defeating him all the same.

He had no idea how he was going to cope with the next two weeks in the run up to the wedding, but he knew ignoring it was happening wasn’t helping him either. He told himself that perhaps facing up to the impending nuptials might help to get his head in the right place to let Robert go for good, and that’s what had made him agree to come in the end in an effort to get his head right once and for all.

It turned out everything about watching the man you love celebrate his stag do before they married someone else is entirely the opposite of getting your head right, though.

Aaron slowly came to realise it at the airport, as some of the lads started asking questions about Robert and Chrissie’s sex life, which made Aaron want to murder every single one of them. Robert had looked in his direction as soon as he’d heard the first question, and he’d laughed uncomfortably as he refused to answer despite their encouragement and the increasingly lewd nature of their questioning, and he’d wanted to follow Aaron and apologise to him as soon as he’d noticed him walk off mid-way through the conversation.

If the constant talk about Robert and Chrissie wasn’t enough to make Aaron feel physically sick, then the conversation when they arrived at the first bar turning to celebrity crushes and where to head for lap dancers certainly was; Robert declining the team’s invitation to sort out a stripper with some well deflected comments about needing to avoid any press scandals for the sake of their careers – even if Aaron knew exactly why Robert was desperate for them to stop suggesting it.

It was almost enough for Aaron to want to call it a night, and he told himself he’d make this round his last before heading home when he found himself at the bar as another guy approached him, standing a little closer to him than was strictly necessary.

His hackles rose for a second, until he glanced sideways at the man who was invading his personal space and saw the suggestion in the smile and wink that the guy offered in his direction.

Aaron let out a sigh – his usual exasperation at getting chatted up being his instinctive reaction – but as he heard the roar of another rowdy laugh coming from the table with Robert and the rest of the team, it occurred to him that maybe it was time he let loose and had a little fun of his own.

He caught the attention of the bar man, ordering his and Adam’s beers before letting his eyes flicker sideways again, licking his lips quickly and dragging his bottom lip between his teeth as he noticed the man’s features – golden skin tanned under the glare of the Spanish sun, blond hair short and styled professionally, and an air of arrogance around him that reminded him only of one person.

“I’ll get those,” the man offered as the bar tender returned with his beers, before passing a note over the bar, waving away the change.

He picked up one of the beer bottles he’d just bought for Aaron – oblivious or indifferent to the fact Aaron had intended his second bottle for Adam – and he held Aaron’s gaze as he clinked it against the beck of Aaron’s bottle before taking a gulp, Aaron tracking the movement of his throat as he swallowed it down.

“Richard,” the man announced as he held out his hand to Aaron by way of an introduction.

Aaron glanced around, catching sight of the group for a second and noticing nobody paying any attention, and he returned his gaze to the undeniably good looking man in front of him, shaking his outstretched hand.

“Aaron,” he returned with a small smile.

“I know who you are,” Richard smirked playfully, Aaron detecting a hint of Essex in his accent, before he nodded over to the rest of the team in the bar. “I don’t exactly follow football but even I’m not clueless enough not to recognise you when you’re here with all of them,” he added.

Aaron smiled, feeling somewhat at ease in Richard’s company, despite every inch of him wanting to reject everything he was saying and announce that he was taken; that his heart belonged to someone else already.

Only he wasn’t taken, was he? Not technically, anyway.

He was single.

Just a single guy getting chatted up in a bar. Nobody could have a problem with that, surely.

He glanced over to the group, noticing Robert sat with a direct view towards where he stood at the bar, not having noticed them yet but Aaron was sure it wouldn’t take long.

He knew it was petty, but he couldn’t help himself; a part of him wanting Robert to have a taste of what Aaron had to live with; what turmoil Aaron was subjected to any and every time Robert even mentioned his fiancée back at home.

He took a swig of his beer, and he turned his attention back to Richard.

“So, what you doing out here, then?” he asked casually, turning his full attention towards him and away from where he suspected Robert might be watching him by now from the other side of the bar.

Aaron listened to Richard talk about himself, asking questions and seeming attentive and interested in everything he had to say, and if he laughed a little more than he needed to at each of his jokes then he told himself he was being polite; not that he was hoping he’d get the attention of Robert from across the room, make his heart rate spike with jealousy.

It was a couple of minutes before Robert noticed; but as soon as he did, his mind went into overdrive.

He’d been joking around with the rest of the lads, but he became aware that he hadn’t seen Aaron in a while, and when he glanced around the bar to look for him, he noticed him uncharacteristically engaged in conversation with a man he could only see a poor man’s version of himself.

Robert narrowed his eyes as watched them together; stomach churning as he noticed the stroke of this other guy’s hand against Aaron’s arm; at the way Aaron seemed to let it happen, smiling like he was _enjoying it_ in the least Aaron-like manner imaginable.

He zoned out of the conversation he’d been having with Adam and Pete, his attention only focused on whatever was happening at the bar with this man who was pawing at Aaron shamelessly; touching him like he had any right to do so at all.

The realisation that pierced his heart was that Aaron wasn’t stopping it – seemed to be encouraging it, smiling as he engaged him in conversation – and Robert couldn’t help the urge that rushed through his veins, telling him he needed to stop it; needed to go over there and remind Aaron about what _they had;_ that they had something special and that it wouldn’t compare to the two of them; that it _couldn’t_ compare.

It was Adam’s hand on his arm that stopped him; a look in his eye that told him he knew exactly what Robert was doing.

“Don’t you dare,” Adam warned him quietly, eyes flicking over to Aaron and the guy at the bar to leave Robert in no doubt what he was referring to. “You can’t stop him finding someone who’ll give him what you can’t, Robert,” he added, leaning in to say the words into Robert’s ear so that none of the rest of the team could hear.

Robert swallowed down, taking the stern warning in Adam’s glare and sitting back down in his seat, glancing over to Aaron and catching his eye for the briefest second, before he forced himself to do as he knew he should.

He spent the following half hour in a world of pain; glancing over in Aaron’s direction at every given opportunity, each laugh coming from the brunet the other side of the bar causing something to pierce into his side; envy flowing through his veins on an unprecedented scale. He became unable to focus on anything else – long since checked out of the conversation with the rest of the lads – and he found the whiskey bottle they’d ordered for the table getting emptier by the second as he tried to numb the pain.

He couldn’t stand it.

He let his mind run away with itself, thought about whether he would survive the pain of seeing Aaron kiss this man should it come to it; feeling his stomach roll over with the thought of Aaron going back home with him; of Aaron doing things with this man that he only ever wanted Aaron to do with him, until the end of time.

He felt physically sick.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever even been a jealous person before, and yet Aaron was here again making him question everything he thought he knew about himself.

He clenched his jaw as he sat and watched them, stopped caring about anybody noticing his sudden change in demeanour, and he sunk down the rest of his whiskey glass as the sound of Aaron’s laugh carried over the noise of the bar.

He was about to pour himself another whiskey when he saw Aaron reaching inside his jeans pocket and bringing out his phone; the other man replicating it as they each tapped on their screens and then passed their phones to one another, clearing exchanging numbers before handing their phones back.

He couldn’t stand it any longer.

He stood up – stumbling slightly on his feet from the whiskey but steady enough to be able to try to mask it – and he shoved Adam’s hand off his arm as he headed towards them.

“Aaron, a word,” he announced as he got to them, interrupting them mid-way through their conversation in that arrogant way he’d perfected so well.

They both glared up at him for a second, but Robert was sure he saw the slight hint of a smile pulling at the corners of Aaron’s mouth.

“Excuse me,” Richard announced dismissively, eyes widened like he couldn’t believe the audacity of Robert’s intrusion.

“What’s up, Robert?” Aaron shrugged at him, flicker of his eyebrows as he goaded him. “Something wrong?”

Robert let his shoulders drop, the whiskey making him careless; the pain of his jealousy making him lose all sense of discretion as he looked at Aaron with such a sense of desperation and longing that it made Aaron drop his defences almost immediately.

“Please, Aaron,” he said gently, his voice soft and pleading and leaving Richard with little doubt over what Robert’s problem was; his suspicions confirmed even further when Robert reached out and stroked his finger softly down Aaron’s forearm, before hooking it gently around Aaron’s little finger, pulling Aaron’s hand towards his own.

It was such a gesture of sentimentality that Aaron didn’t quite know what to do with it; finding himself stood stock still in shocked silence as his eyes widened and his lips parted, forgetting to breathe for a short second as he held Robert’s gaze.

Richard widened his eyes as he quickly realised the situation, taking in a deep breath as he went to say something to excuse himself as he quickly started to feel like a third wheel; but he found himself stopped by Aaron as he pulled his hand away from Robert’s gentle grip on his finger, and used that same hand to brush down Richard’s arm.

“Stay there, I’ll just sort this out and I’ll be back,” Aaron told him with a smile, before turning to Robert. “Follow me,” he said more sternly, before making his way over to the toilets of the bar.

He checked the cubicles were empty as he walked in, and Robert followed in after him, Aaron turning to face him as soon as he’d checked they were alone.

“What are you playing at?” he asked his manager, voice full of conviction.

“You can’t go home with him,” Robert said, matter-of-factly.

“Oh can’t I?” Aaron answered back, eyes wide and tone laced with resentment. “What’s stopping me, Robert? Because I’m single, aren’t I?”

“No,” Robert answered without hesitation, holding Aaron’s gaze.

“Yes, I am!” he laughed back in frustration. “You’re getting married, Robert. Married! Which means I can do what I like, and you can’t stop me,” Aaron added as he turned to walk away.

He was almost out of the door – hand wrapped around the handle and pulling it open on his way to leave – when he felt Robert’s hand curl around his elbow.

“Please, Aaron,” Robert begged of him, and there was a desperation lacing through his tone that made Aaron stop in his tracks; made his heart ache for the man he wanted so desperately to call his own.

He sighed, blinking back the tears in his eyes and he rolled his head back, letting go of the door handle as he turned back to Robert.

“Please what?” he asked Robert, turning to face him now, giving him his full attention, to the extent that neither of them noticed the toilet door being pushed ever-so-slightly open again behind them.

“Please, just, don’t go home with him,” Robert pleaded, eyes reddening like tears might be trying to leave him. “It hurts, Aaron – ”

“I _know,_ Robert,” Aaron answered him, stepping forward until he was stood in front of where Robert was leaning against the wall behind him. “What do you think I’ve been feeling every single time I see you with _her_? What do you think _I_ felt that day you picked her over me, Robert? I know what this feels like – ”

“Why are you doing it to me, then?” Robert interrupted, his voice breaking as he lost all control of his emotions; the thought of losing Aaron making him lose all his usual self-control.

Aaron couldn’t answer the question, not without admitting that he’d done it partly out of spite; out of a desire to make Robert understand what he was putting him through every single day.

He chewed at his bottom lip as he fought the urge to take Robert in his arms and comfort him; take away the pain that he’d inflicted on him himself.

“Why?” Robert asked again, because he needed to know; needed to hear Aaron say he wasn’t really ever intending on leaving with that man.

“You know why,” Aaron admitted quietly, taking a deep breath as he felt himself moving closer towards Robert.  “You know,” he repeated, reaching up to take Robert’s face in his hands and pulling his head towards him, until their foreheads were touching one another.

“I don’t want you to go home with him,” Robert admitted, gaze lowered to the ground like he couldn’t quite say the words to Aaron’s face. “I can’t do it, Aaron. I can’t live with the thought of you going back with him, of you doing things with him that we – ”

“I’m not going home with him, calm down, Robert,” Aaron cut him off softly, even the thought of it making Aaron’s own stomach churn; something to do with the thought of being unfaithful to Robert causing him to feel almost physically sick himself. “I couldn’t do it, Rob, not really.”

Robert looked up at him then, pulled his forehead away slightly to allow him to look into Aaron’s eyes, thumb reaching up to wipe away the tear that fell down his cheek.

“Come home with me,” Robert asked softly, voice choked on his words. “Please?”

Aaron looked up at him like there was only one way he knew how to answer that question.

“I want you to come back with me, Aaron, please,” Robert continued longingly. “Stay with me tonight. I need you. I need to feel you – ”

His pleas were halted by the push of Aaron’s lips up against his own; soft and gentle this time, as if they were pressing against him a promise of everything Aaron was giving to him.

He smiled as he pulled away from the kiss, taking a deep breath as he steadied himself.

“Let’s go back,” Aaron sighed as he wiped away his tears, feeling a fullness in his chest as he allowed himself to think about everything he knew he had to look forward to during a night sleeping in Robert’s bed. “I reckon we’ve got a few hours before these lot get back to the hotel,” he added with a smirk, fully aware that Robert had a room to himself anyway.

Robert didn’t need asking twice, a smile forming over his lips as he linked his fingers around Aaron’s, relief flooding through him as he let himself realise Aaron wasn’t ever going to leave with anyone other than him.

They slipped out of the bar – Richard a distant memory as they left him behind along with the rest of the team – and walked the short distance back to the hotel in silence, laden with anticipation over what was to come.

They’d locked themselves into Robert’s room for the night before Richard had even finished his drink.

Back at the bar Ross watched as Aaron’s eye candy left after making the dawning realisation that Aaron wasn’t coming back; Ross smiling to himself with a sense of satisfaction as he hit the send button on the email he’d been composing, before slipping his phone back into his pocket and making his way back the group, unable to wipe the smirk off his face.

Back at the hotel, with their phones discarded at the end of the bed, Robert didn’t notice the anonymous email popping up on his account, the subject line and the accompanying evidence enough to let him know his entire world could be about to come crashing down around him.

**_From:_ ** _anonymous197492087494@gmail.com_

**_Subject:_ ** _HOW MUCH TO KEEP THIS QUIET, SUGDEN? WONDER HOW THE WIFE FEELS ABOUT YOU KISSING BOYS IN THE TOILETS?_

**_Attached:_ ** _img3686; video549_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought!
> 
> Find me on tumblr - wellyfullofale


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